The American Citizen

THE AMERICAN CITIZEN. LIBERAL COMMISSION PAID RELIABLE AGENTS FOR THIS PAPER CALL HERE THE NEGRO YESTERDAY AND TODAY. EDITORS LEISURE MOMENTS. GOOD INDEX TO CHARACTER. Habits and Idiosyncracies Betrayed in the Laugh. Automatic Compass. M. Heit, a French inventor, has recently patented a compass which automatically registers minute by minute. The compass card is fixed on a steel EXECUTORS NOTICE STATE OF KANSAS. WYANDOTTE COUNTY. The condition of the Negro is much better today than it was a generation ago. Then he had nothing, not even a name. To day he has 100,000 farms valued at $10,000,000, personal property, valued at $200,000,000. 160 drug stores, 9 banks, 13 buildings and 10 an association 100 insurance and benefit companies, 2 street railways, one electric at Jabksonville, Florida, and in all pays taxes on $100,000,900. This is only about one fifth of all he has really accumulated for the Negro has learned from the white man that it is no sign of loyalty and patriotism to put in his property at its most valuable value. In education and morals the progress seven greater. At the close of the war the whole race was practically illiterate. It was a rare thing indeed to find a man who even knew his lettars. In 1880 the illiteracy had fallen to 70 per cent in 1890 to 57.1 per cent and in 1900 to 44. per cent. To day there are 37,000 Negro teachers of which 23,000 are regular gauditudes of higher normal schools, 23 are college presidents 160 are principals of seminarfarms, and a large number are principals of high schools and scores are in the higher institutions of the North, nad at this time there are 369 Negro men and women taking courses in the universities of Europe. Had any one prophesied such things fifty years ago, they would have been put down as raving fanatics. These teachers, together with the ministers who have been prepared for their work by our schoolsf are the greatest actors the North has produced for the split of the colored man. No other agency has done so much as these for the development of character. But the set is not here. It must be found in neighbor matters of the law. What is the Negro morally today, compared with generation ago, I affirm infinitely better. With this question the yesterday of the Negro and to-day are far apart. The marriage vow is more sacred. The WHAT IS DOING ABOUT TOWN Mr. W. H. Edinbaro of 539 State is quite seriously ill. Miss Minnie Jackson of 927 Neb. ave. will leave in a few days for Lawrence where she will attend the wedding of Mr. eucosin, Miss Pearl Price. The Choir of the 8th street Christain church, will render an Easter programe Sunday night, all are invited. Miss Bettie Houston of Nebraska ave. will unimproved at this writing. Mr. Ambrose Dudley 5f N. 8th St. is unimproved. Mr. E. B. Graves who has been on the sick list for the past three months we are glad to say that he is improving The Alpha Art Club is preparing to give an entertainment, for the benefit of the Old folks home, Kansas City, Mo. Quite a few invitation have been received to the Navarre Partp to be given in Lawrence April 27th The teachers are quite busy preparing for the professional examination which will be held on May 17th The newly organized house of congres, held quite a profitable meeting at 6th street Christain Church, last Sunday. Mrs. Plummer has opened a Kinder Garden Shcool at her residence 911 Washington Ave. and is doing well this is something the city, has long needed, and the people may consider themselves nominate with Mrs. Plummer as teacher. The 8th Street Christain Church, rose $57.00 April 16th. This was a special collection and for the benefit of those who could not respond, the effort is continued over 23rd. If favorable comments count for any thing the Subject The Perfect man, preached by the Rev. Bowan April the 16th was highly appreciated by those who heard him. The Holiness Mission will have a Tent meeting at 10th and Neb. streets, beginning May the 7th. Mrs. Palmer of 1035 Freeman ave., is no better. Mrs. Young of Biuer Okla. is improving in health. one room cabin with its attending evils is passed away, and the Negro women—the miestiest moral factor in the life of her people—is beginning to be somebody She is being more and more respected by men of her own race and is no longer the easy victim of the unlicensed passions of certain white men. There is a great gain of yesterday, and is a sign of real progress, for no race can be raised higher than its women. The woman is the thermometer of the moral life of her people, and the mark which the negro woman has reached under great difficulties and struggles is an indication of real progress for the whole race, I know there are some strange things said in these days about the Negro Yesterday it was said that he could not learn, to-day it is said having learned it has done him harm. In other words crime has increased among educated Negroes. The facts show just the opposite. The exact figures from the last census show that the proportion of the Negro criminals in illiterate class has been more than 40 per cent larger than the class which has had school advantages. You ask, What shall be the aim of the friend of the Negro at this moment.. The answer is apparent Continue to give him higher ideals for a better life and stand by him in the struggle. He has warranted their faith and confidences. He has done well with the opportunities given him, and is doing something to help himself. That is gratitude of the best sort. What he needs today is moral sympathy, which in his condition a generarian ago he could hardly appreciate. The sympathy must be moral not necessarily social. It must be the sympathy of a soul set on fire for righteousness and fair play in a republic like ours, that every man shall have a man's chance. Stand by him—M. C. B. Mason in Central Christi an Advocate. Miss Marie Mosby of 1045 Jersy ave. died Thursday April 20th. Little Ersie Dorsey of the Douglass School took the prize for drawing of the two Kansas Cities Exhibited at St. John's Church Rev. Vanghn Pastor. Mrs. Lula Reynolds of Lathrope Mo. spending a few days with her sister Mrs. Geo. Hustin 711 Walker avenue. The Mozart Club of the first Christian Church, 8th and Everett streets will meet next Thursday eve. at the church all are invited, as there is to be a special programme. Visit the Church Easter Sunday each has prepared a special porgramme. The first Cession of the mock congress was held at the M. and O. Hall Monday April 10th proved quite a success, it was educatives as well as entertaining' The members of congress are composed of some of the best young men of our race. they are all the strictest critic could ask on moral manners and refinements highly cultured. of the best the race can afford Sleeper's Real Offense. An eccentric minister caused some surprise one Sunday by declaring that he did not in the least object to people sleeping while he was preaching. A few minutes later he and his hearers were disturbed by the loud snoring of a man just below the pulpit. "Give him a tap on the head," said the minister. This was done, ineffectually. "Give him another," came the order again. Still the man slumbered. But at length by dint of much tapping and shaking, he was recalled into abashed consciousness. "You are making a wretched noise," roared the minister, leaning over the pulpit edge. "I don't mind your sleeping, but you are preventing other people from sleeping!" Ruse of Courtship. A wise girl always pretends to be a little more daffy than the young man she is planning to face the parson with. Cure as Bad as Disease Onions are recommended as a cure for indigestion, but as yet there has been no cure discovered for onions. If I might breathe your beauty into song. The singing stars wouldarry into the dawn. To hearken, dreaming that death's ancient wrong. Enthroned on earth so long. Was scattered by the everlasting light. And earth new winged with singing and singing as exultant she from out of chaos came. KANSAS CITY, KANSAS FRIDAY EVENING, A dentist is a man who pulls people's teeth. A lawyer is one who pulls their legs. Some doctors take life easy whe other take what they can get. Abont two-thirds of a doctors bill is for his trouble in guessing at your compa- int. Speculation may sound more refined than gambling but a fellow loses just as much. Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duty, but of little things, in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort. It is to be hoped that the mistakes or errors of Mayor Rose, in his effort to do that which he bests, under existing circumstances, will be made from the head and not the heart. Expectations will soon become realizations in some old kind of a way, regarding the distribution of pie. Many that would be, will not, and would nots will be. The advancement of a Negro from the ranks of a patrolmen to a desk sergeant recently in Chicago bespeaks much for Chief O'Neal what would happen if Kansas City Kansas had that nerve poor old bleeding Kansas- cret societies and other affair More sus stantial and benefitting results would be obtained. Houses of prostitution would be teanantless and the "fast wo men" would be relegated out of decen society. Making Wood Tar It is curious to notice that wood tar is prepared just as it was in the fourth century B. C. A bank is chosen and a hole dug, into which the wood is placed, covered with turf. A fire is lighted underneath, and the tar slowly drips into the barrels placed to receive it. Shoesoles Eight Feet Thick. We wear away two inches of shoe leather in a year. A pair of shoes that would "last a lifetime" would, consequently, have to be provided with soles from eight to nine feet thick. LOOK BACK, COUNT THE LOSS When Energy Has Been Spent, Nerve and Brain Force Gone Just look back over the day and see where your energy has gone. See how much of it has leaked away from you in trifles. Perhaps you have wasted it in fits of fretting, fuming, grumbling, fault-finding or in the little frictions that have accomplished nothing, but merely rasped your nerves, made you irritable, crippled you and left you exhausted. You may have drained off more nerve and brain force in a burst of passion than you have expended in doing your real work. Perhaps you did not realize that, in going through your place of business like a mad bull through a china-shop, you pulled out every spigot and turned on every faucet of your mental, and physical reservoir and left them open until all the energy you had stored up during the night had run off. Look back and see whether your scolding, fault-finding, criticising, nagging and what you call "reading the riot act" to your employees has helped you in any way or accomplished anything. No; you only lost your energy and self-control, your self-respect and the respect and admiration of your employees.—Success. HOW LONG ONE SHOULD LIVE. Insurance Experts Think Seventy Years About Right. Actuaries employed by insurance companies adopt a standard method of computing prospective ages of risks. To ascertain how many years a person of given age is ordinarily expected to live, the present age is deducted from 80, and two-thirds of the remainder will indicate the likely future span of life. Actuarial schedules are a unit in this system of calculation. In illustration of the above statement: Age 20 deducted from 80 years shows that 40 years is the allotment, while age 60 from 80, leaving balance of 20, represents that 13 years and 3 months should, in favorable routine, elapse before the insured individual's life is classified in the past-tense column. Thus it will be observed that insurance corporations go the biblical allowance of "three-score and ten" ten years better.—Chicago Journal. GOOD INDEX TO CHARACTER. Habits and Idiosyncracies Betrayed In the Laugh. Anthropologists say that the ability to laugh comes to the child as it grows older. The first smile is observed when the child is about forty to sixty days old, but it does not begin to laugh until some time after that. Children and women laugh more than men, not because the cares of life lie less heavily upon them, but because the the former are more excitable, and because the moderating power of the cerebral hemispheres is less in them than among men generally. Profound study makes men serious, and so foolish people are sometimes noted for laughing immoderately. Yet laughter is not so much an index to intelligence as it is to the condition of health. Healthy, vigorous people are proverbially of good-humored joyous, laughing natures, while the "sallow, gloomy-eyed dyspeptic" is a description scientifically accurate The envious, wicked and malevolent rarely laugh, because, phrenologist's say, they are impregnated with bile, and are, therefore, morose. The haughty, the vain and the awkward also laugh very little, for fear of losing their dignity. The Spanish people, proverbially grave, are a good example. People who have lines extending downward from the angle at the mouth toward the chin well marked rarely laugh, and, moreover, show a tendency to penniveness in youth and melancholy in after life. Those who have lines raying outward from the eyes are, on the contrary, people who laugh a good deal, especially when the upper lip is framed by two deep furrows running down in the mouth. OLD LADY WAS PRACTICAL. Looked for Serviceable Quality in a Present. A very practical old lady from the country was visiting her daughter in the city not long ago, and her young granddaughter was taking her through one of the big department stores on a little shopping tour. "Now," said the old lady to the salesman, "show me some dishes; I want to buy a set." Up in the china department the clerks had shown a number of dainty, pretty designs, which the old lady had admired, but still seemed to be looking for something else. "This pale green and gold tinted one is pretty, grandma," suggested the young girl, "why not get it?" "Well, you see," answered the practical grandmother, "your Aunt Jinnie is a goin' to be married in the fall, and I thought I would get her a good serviceable present while I was up here. A black and white flowered set of china is what I want, if I could find it. Black and white is such serviceable colors, you know, dear; it don't show dirt."-Linpincott's. The Porch. When he turned the veranda, He kicked about the expense, But ma, she said: "Don't mind it, Ed- Don't think of dollars and cents." That autumn Clara was married, It made pa glad as could be, And ma would smile Most all the while, "I'm proud of that porch," said she. Last summer both Belle and Amy Would race for the porch at night, And all the rest Of us through just To stay indoors, out of sight. But Belle ran faster than Amy— She got her man in July, And I II command That porch to send A bachelor's oath sky high. Last Sunday Amy informed us That she said told Jimmy "yes," And now us three, Pa, ma, and me. Can get on that porch, I guess. -Cleveland Leader. Hot-air Fan. An electric fan that heats the air current that it delivers has been devised by M. de Mare, a Belgian electrician. The apparatus consists of an electric motor and a rotating fan, the blades of which are of mica. Upon these mica blades are fastened resistance coils, which are heated by the passage through them of a current of electricity. Qualities of Radium: The fact that radium exerts a very peculiar influence upon light-emitting bodies has given rise to the hope that it may eventually play an important role in the industry of light. A minute quantity of radium is sufficient to produce a strong light from a layer of zinc pyrites, and this light produces no heat, so that loss of energy is avoided. But Me Has to Wait Nothing would please the small boy more than the privilege of assuming the role of father to the man occasionally. Automatic Compass. M. Heit, a French inventor, has recently patented a compass which automatically registers minute by minute. The compass card is fixed on a steel pivot, which rests on a fixed agate, instead of having at its center an agate resting on a fixed steel point. The fixed agate is immersed in a drop of mercury, which serves as a conductor for the electric current that causes the movements of registering. Selects Wife's Toilets. It is a common thing in Paris for a man to accompany his wife to the dressmaker's. The young wife who has known no gayer attire than the coming-out gown of the jesire file needs careful advice as to her toilets, and her husband, if he be a certain type of man of the world, knows how to give it. Japanese Swords Best. The sword makers of Toledo and Damascus have been reputed to be the world's most famous artisans in this industry, but in Japan the swordsmiths turn out weapons whose blades are fully as green and as hard and composed of metal of as fine quality as those of the old swordsmiths. Superstitious Criminals. All criminals are great believers in dreams. Some time ago, at Manchester, a daring thief awaiting trial told a warder he had dreamed that he had seen a rainbow. From this he deduced that he would be acquitted at his trial. To everyone's surprise he was. Hunting in Japan. The Japanese, always keen sportsmen, used to take most of their game with goshawks and sparrow hawks. The only dogs they used were spaniels, which flushed the game. But now they are taking to dogs, and many good animals are being imported from England. Liquefies Illuminating Gas. A German chemist named Blau has succeeded in liquefying illuminating gas. In that form it gives a good light, which is useful in country houses, railway trains, etc. It costs more than ordinary coal gas, but less than electric light. NOW IS the time to Subscribe For the Weekly American Citizen. Gentlemen Desiring nice comfortable rooms in a nice locality canfind them neatly furnished at 750 Neb. ave. K. C. K. Latest Ideas. IN GOLD AND SILVER JEWELRY. Cut Glass and Trinklets. We call your attention to our excellent line of HOLIDAY GOODS. BARGAIN HUNTERS MECCA. If you are thinking of making an Xmas present in the Jewelry Line. See us and you will profit. ED. J. DUNNING, 549 MINN. AVE. Kirkstall City, Ka PATTERSON & GAYDEN -Dealers In- Hard and Soft Coal, Wood. Vault & Cesspool Cleaning. Gisterns Filled Tel. 215 West.* 527 STATE AVE. APRIL 21, 1:05 This Section CALL HERE EXECUTORS NOTICE STATE OF ; KANSAS. } $$ WYANDOTTE COUNTY. } IN THE PROBATE COURT OF SAID COUNTY. In the matter of the Estate of Mary L. Gordon deceased. Notice is hereby given that letters tenquemary have been granted to the undersigned on the last will and testament of Mary L. Gordon late of said county, deceased, by the Honorable, the Probate Court of the County and State aforesaid Dated the 21 day of March 1905. Now all persons having claims against said estate are hereby notified that they must present the same to the undersigned for allowance within one year from the date of said letters, or they may be precluded from any benefits of such estate; and that if such claims be not exhibited within three years after the date of said letters, they shall be forever barred. CORVINE PATTERSON Executor of the last will and testament of Mary L. Gordon deceased. NOTICE OF PUBLICATION In the District Court of Wyandotte county State of Kansas. Mary Atkinson. Plaintiff. vs. J. B. Atkinson, Defendant. The State of Kansas to J. B. Atkinson. Greeting:— You are hereby notified that the plaintiff in the above entitled cause did cause on the 22nd day of September, 1904. file her petition in a certain action against you in the District Court in Wyandotte County State of Kusas asking for an absolute divorce on the grounds of abandonment and desertion, and unless youdurn, answer or otherwise 0) ject on or before the 30th day of January 1905, the allegations therein will be taken as true and upon further proof thereof judgement will be rendered as prayed for in said petition. JOHNSON and TOOLE. Attys. forgPlaintiff. Wm. Needles, Clerk. By D. C. McCombs, Deputy. IN THE PROBAT COURT IN AND S8 FOR SAID COUNEY. n the matter of the Estate of Jane Redd Deceased. Notice is hereby given that Letters Testamentary have been granted to the undersigned on the Last Will and Testament of Jane Redd, late of said County, deceased by the Honorable, the Probate Court of the County and State aforesaid, date the 6th day of February A. D. 1906. Now, all persons having claims against the said Estate, are hereby notified that they must present the same to the undersigned for allowance within one year from the date of said Letters, or they may be precluded from any befit of such Estate; and that if such claims are not exhibited within three years after the date of said Letters, they shall be forever barred. I. F. BRADLEY! executor of the Last Will and Testament of Jane Redd Deceased. First published Feb. 11th 1905 Notice of Final Settlement State of Kansas County of Wyandotte In the Probate Court in and for said County. IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF CLARA WILLIAMS SLEDGE DECEASED Creditors and all other persons interested in the aforesidr estate, are hereby notified that at the next regular term of the Probate Court in and for said County, to be begun and held at the Probate Court room in Kansas City, County of Wyandotte and State aforesaid, on the first Monday in the month of March A. D. 1905. I shall apply to said Court for a full and final settlement of said estate. Peter young Administrator of Clara Williams Sledge Deceased. In Witness Whereof, the undersigned, Probate Judge in and for the County of Wyon probate State of Kansas, have hereto set my hand, and affixed the seal of the Probate Court this 20th Day of January A. D. 1905 Winfield Freeman The World's Wanderers. Tell me, thou star, whose wings of light Speed tree in thy fiery flight, In what cavern of the night Will thy pinions close now? Tell me, moon, thou pale and gray Pilgrim of heaven's homeless way, In what depth of night or day Seekest thou repose now? Weary wind, who wanderest Like the world's rejected guest, Hast thou still some secret nest On the tree or billow? —Percy Bysshe Shelley The Glories of a Throne. It has been shown that out of a list of 2,550 sovereigns 300 have been overthrown, 134 assassinated, 123 taken prisoners of war, 108 executed, 100 slain in battle, sixty-four forced to abdicate, twenty-eight died by their own hands, twenty-five were tortured to death, while twenty-three became mad or imbecile. This gives a total of 905 whose reigns have ended miserably. The dayonet was first used by the French in 1671. It was first made in Bayonne, France, and was considered a very deadly weapon. The British army quickly copied it, and other nations promptly followed suit. American Citizen The Oldest Negro Journal Published Weekly in this part of the Country. FUBLISHIL WEEKLY at 1510 Norh 3rd Street KANEASCITY © =~ KANSAS W. C. Martin Editor, Geo. A. Dudley, Publisher and Bus:ness Manager. Terms OF SubscriptioninAdvance. MTOR is ox sa ganna: 7 Bix Months,................ 65 cents Throo Months,*...0.2...0.e..242-40.€ Re Monthy... eee ceeeseee edb Advertiseing 25 cts. Per Inch First _ Insertion. A Standing Display ‘Add’ for 3 Months or longer 15e per inch, each insertion. Entered as second class matter December first, 1904 at the Post office at Kansas City, Kansas under the Act of congress of March | ae Grewsome Collection, A French professor is the owner of @ collection of 920 human heads, rep- resenting every known race of people, Scarlet for Bachelor Maids. ‘When an unmarried woman dies in Brazil the coffin, hearse and livery of the coachman are all scarlet. Cost of London's Paupers. Every year $4,000,000 is spent on the food and clothing of indoor pau. pers in London. Here is the Place. TONSORIAL PARLOR, All the Latest Style Hair Cuts, Clean Shave strictly[Up-to-Date. 438°Minnesora AVENUE. Call and see H.S. Sykes and sand A. Gooden mauufactor of Pop cornin ball aud brick at 316 Oakland ave A Word To You. ‘The lack of proper appreciation of the efforts of Negro newspavers make in an uphill business to maintain the standard of excellence desired by those in the bus- inees. Just why the race is so utterly slack. in givicg to their own the proper Patronage is one of the unsolved myster- ies. Bach day and week bring to us the waruing of being a unit in behalf of our own salvation. It takes something besi- de wind to publish the most weakly of weeklies, If every Afro-American fami- y¥ would pledge themselves to stand by an organ buplished in their behalf. just one year,the results would be unboliev- ed we ask thecolorad brother to wake up ook around and observe,see if you can- not discern that the signs of the times don't speak in thundering tones for 4 the public advocates of our interests han, why wait do your part by subserip. ng getting your neighbors to do the same end watch tho good results. Notice of Final Settlement, State of Kens an, ve Coumy of Wyandott | In the Probate Court in and forisaid County, In the Matter of the Estate of John RSmith Deceased. Creditors and all other persons interested n the aforesaid estate, are hereby notified, that at the next regular term of the Probate Court inand for said County, 10 be begun and held at the Probate Court room in Kanens City, County of Wyandotte and State aforesaid, on the frst Monday in month of February, A. D, 195, 1 shall apply to sald Court for afull and final settlement of said estate, Jawes D, Sire, Administrator of the Estate John R. Smith. Deceased. In Witness Waereot, the undesisned Pro- bate Judge in and for the County of Wyan- dotte,State of Kansas,have hereto set my hand, and affixed .the seal of the said Probate Court this 24th ay of December, A. D, 1904, Winfield Freeman, Probate Judge. Res. 420 Nebraska ave. 1 ‘Tel. 383, White. SOUTH AMERICAN MEDICAL INSTITUTE Office Houro: From 10 a. m., till 4 p. m. and from 6 till 9 P. a, Reaching the creamery one of the ‘ommittee halted and said: “Sir, I wish to direct your attention to that grave. The man who lies buried there had to be provided with the largest coffin ever made in this city.” ‘The honored guest thanked his host ot so much for the information as for felieving the strain.—Pittsburg Dis TRUTH PROVED BY EXAMPLE. Storekeeper Certainly Lacked the Gift @t Gneray. William C. Greene, the copper mag- sate, was talking to a young man about success. “The secret of success is enterprise, nergy,” said Col. Greene. “To be lazy, 0 stick always in the same old rut, hat is how.to make a wretched fail- ire of your life. “I went West when I was 17, and after a spell of contracting and pros- vecting about Prescott, I farmed a bit n the San Pedro Valley. There was a storekeeper I used to buy my supplies ‘rom at that time who was a failure of he first water. This man’s lack of en- ‘erprise was so great that people used ‘o bring their children from miles ‘wound to study him. He was valu- able as a horrible example. “Phere? they would say to the youngsters, ‘take warning by Manners, He is a failure. He has no enterprise. Don’t grow up like him. He resembles 3 tortoise, doesn't he?” “Poor Manners in his sluggishness ‘ld resemble a tortoise a good deal, { sent a boy in to him one day with a ack mule to get five gallons of mo- lasses, The boy told me afterward that when he entered the store Man- aers was dozing. The boy coughed and the man awoke and got up. He opened his mouth wide, and stood on ‘iptoe and stretched out his arms in a vast yawn. Then he said to the boy: “‘Wotcha want?’ “Five gallons of molasses, Mr. Man- cers,’ the, boy spoke up, sharp and quick. ““Wab-h-b-h,’ yawned Manners again. Then as he took up the jug he grum- sled: “*‘Ain't there nobody what sells mo- tasses in this here town but me?’” PLEASURE OF EASTERN WOMEN. Their Main Occupation the Diver sions of the Toilet. An eastern lady of high degree poe an amount of time over her toilet that would quite astonish the aiost fashionable society lady. First she has her hair dressed by her maid, who, after anointing the long, silky black locks with a little oil, made from aloe wood or cocoanut, arranges it simply in a long, smooth plait, low on the nape of the neck, and decorat- ad either with goid or jewelled orna- ments. Next the bath is prepared as hot as it can be borne, and in this the lady may stay as Jong as two or three hours. Soaps are not used, but, in- stead, there are multifarious unguents, seeret preparations of the bathing women, which render the skin soft as velvet and delicately perfumed. Oftentimes the face is washed over with milk, into which has been squeezed lemon juice. The hair of the oriental woman is usually beautifully long, soft and glos- sy, and the way they arrange it is in- variably becoming to their soft type of beauty. Perfumes are much in- dulged in, These are introduced in the bath and permeate the garments, but are rarely used on a handker. chief. a ee ae ee a Don't snuggle concelt to your bosom, my 108, Because you're on top of the wave, For here is a thought that ‘might serve ‘as-alloy. ‘To the gold of the credit you crave: The best is not always at’ surface, my ‘son, And I think, if to notice you'll stop, You'll observe’ that the good to the Bot- tom may run, But the foam always lingers on top. { would not discourage your zeal, my dear iad: It is best to keep working alway, But this’funny old! world often Tabels as ‘The thing that is good in its day. In fact, 1 may say that it classifes wrong Scmé part of the great earthly” crop, And I think you will note as you Jour- ney along ‘That the foam often gets to the top. We will not mention names if you please, my dear youth. But look on the world as you go. See the men whom ‘we plice ‘at the sum- mit. in ‘truth, ‘Then gaze on the mortals below, And I give you my word I'll have noth- Ing to) teach, And this brief little anthem will stop, Ie'you do not agree with the" thing ‘that reach. That the foam may be found on the OP. —A. J. Waterhouse in Sunset Magazine. icine i vames Rankin Young, the new su- perintendent of the Dead Letter office admires politeness, “It is possible,” he said recently, “to be polite always. It is possible to be polite even when discharging a drunk- en coachman. I know that this is so, for I have seen the thing done. “A friend of mine found himself obliged last week to get rid of his coachman for drunkenness, He sum- moned the man into his presence, and discharged him with this polite speech: | “I fear, Montgomery, that we must part. It has been impossible for me to avoid noticing that several times during the past month you have been —er—sober. Now, I don't believe that any man can attend properly to drink- ing if he has driving to do, and, there. fore, at the month's end you will be free to devote yourself exclusively to your chosen occupation.’ Seep ene ' All Christians. In his article in the Woman’s Home Companion, describing the Inter aational Sunday School Convention in Jerusalem, Doctor Devins relates the ‘ollowing significant incident: “An unexpected favor was received from the officers of the Russian church on the Mount of Olives. A meeting had “een planned to be held aear the place of the Ascension. As the leader of the meeting, the writer went to see if it could be held under the trees near the church. “‘Why not?’ was the reply, accom- panied by a smile on the saintly face ot the speaker. ‘Why not? Do we aot worship the same Christ?’ ” WIT 18 NOT APPRECIATED. peed Glasgow, Scotland, Character Has F Fun With Actors. A provincial theater in the east of Scotland is being tormented ana amused at intervals by a wit among the gallery gods who insists on keep- ing up a running commentary on the play. He has enlivened many a dull piece by his droll interpolations, but xe has also come pretty near ruining many an intensely dramatic or sentl- mental situation by the sudden and always apropos qualities of his inter- ruptions. He has a high pitched, pene- trating voice, and the town police, who have been on the verge of ejecting ‘him a dozen times, say that he was a Glasgow cab driver who retired with a competence and now takes this w.ty to give’ play to a wit that was once famous in the great eity, On one occasion a dreary melo- drama was being presented. The heroine of the play, pursued by the villain, had taken refuge in the house of her lover, who, as the hero of the play, was of course, at variance ‘with uis sweetheart’s parents. The exigen- cies'of the plot required that the irate father, sword in hand and at the head of bis faithful retainers, should track the girl to the gates of the hero's treacherous and disgracefu\ elope- ment, enter the room where the seared heroine had been secreted under the table. “Wretch!” cried the furious father, “your life shall answer for this, I de- mand my child. Where is she.” ‘Then, shrill and startling in the ex- pectant silence, from the gallery came the answer: “Unner the table, ye dinged lout! Dinna ye see her slipper stickin’ oot?” The house was in a tumult of mer- riment in a moment, but it was the “angry father” himself, who ruined the situation, for he burst into immod- erate laughter and the curtain fell in ‘the middle of the, act, to rise again vpon an audience that could not re- press its risibles for the rest of the evening. HE WANTED A MORTGAGE. Swede's Experience With a Deed Had Taught Him Caution. Halvor Steenerson, Congressman from Minnesota, tells a story of 2. Swede who went to that state from one of the Dakotas for the purpose of buying a farm, A land agent acted as guide and informant to the Swede, who eventu- ally found what he wanted. When the tim> came to make out the neces- sary papers, the agent asked the Swede what method he preferred to adopt in making payments, “Ay pay all. Ay haf da money,” re- plied the Swede. “Very well, then. I'll make out the deed,” said the agent. “Not” suddenly exclaimed the Swede.’ “Ay no want deed!” “Why, yes, you do!” rejoined the agent, astonished. “You pay the money and you take a deed for the farm.” “No, no!” earnestly asseverated the Swede. “Ay no want deed! Ay had deed oop in Dakoty. Ay pay man da money. He gif me deed. Ay gif heem mortgage. Ay tak land. By en by he get land, he get deed, he haf da money. Dees time Ay want no deed; Ay want mortgage. Ay pay da money; you gif me mortgage!”—The Sunday Magazine. Getting Posted. “I would like to ask you a question it you don't mind,” said the old man in the street car to the man on his right. “Go ahead, sir.” “I should like to know the meaning of the term ‘History repeats itself.’ I come across it most every day. How does history repeat itself?” “That's easily answered,” said the other. “For instance, if you should ask me what I thought of the weather I should tell you to go and be hanged te you. If we should meet a mont hence and you asked me the game question over again my reply would be the same.” “I think I see—I think I do,” mused the oid man, as he leaned back and crossed his feet. “Yes, I guess I understand, and I want to tell you that you are a durned mean jackass of a man and that history is going to re- peat itself every blamed time I run across you for the next ten years to come.”—Chicago News, 5 a ta James Jeffrey Roche, the new Con- sul to Genoa, was talking about a magazine editor. “This man,” he said, “rejected some of the best of my early verse. He re- jected some of the best verse of my friends. Why he is an editor I can’t imagine. He certainly has no critical sense. “I indicated this to him one day. ‘He had announced to me that he was going to get married. He had praised the lady of his choice ardently, de- claring her to be a poem. “*A poem?’ said I. “*A poem,’ he repeated. “‘and still you do not reject her?” { exclaimed.” ‘eetihan Soft as the plumes of sleep drifts down The pure white silence of the snow The bells. make merry in the town, ‘Where happy faces come and go. The brooding qulet of the trees, 1s, broken ‘sweet, in, yonder sien, By “day, day day," of chekadees ‘And Keen, sweet song of winter wren. Of glowing days some magte word 1s warbled When the erscbenks sing And im the moaning pines ts heard ‘The whisper of returning spring- his Is tue birthday of the year, ‘Now fai off summer's butiles tart; And lo; the very cold grows dear, The, ‘wikdest storm “wind warms the ea <a Jaambaeet be Bieta pik Mirena. elephone Bell W. 32, . Telephone Home W. 32 | Ww. B, Raymond AudEumbalmer The Very Best of Service, Fine Carri- ages For All Purpose. At All Hours. The Best Equiped White Enameled Ambulance For Sick and wounded “~On Short Notice. Charges Reasonable Call At 431 Minnesota, Ave. Kansas City, Kansas. It's upto YOU To trade with'thejlargest and best Grocery store and meatsmarket on North{3rd St. Where §& you can get the best of everything fusually kept ina first class]grocery also Fresh an Salt meats and country produces. The most reason. able of prices. MANY HOLIDAY,,GOOD} THINGS ASPECIALTY. Calliand{be convinced. Lookjoverjourassort- ment of clean,{fresh goods. H. Krueger, 1100 North 3rd St. * KANSAS CITY, KAS KANSAS CITY SOAP CO. | 1510 N, 4th St, Are Manufactors of the Best Grades of Toilet « Wash ing Soaps. A Home Institution. GIVETHEMYOUR PATRONAGE One trial of their brand the Snowflake and Union will convince you of their merits. | (WCAC [ C OS Win | RESTAURANT, Jone 1012 N 8rd St. 1s the best place in tne city and will serve you from 5,30 a,m, top. m, every thing is cooked tto taste, MEALS 15 CENTS, - Mrs. Thatcher the prop, is one of the best cooks in the jcity and will please you, givecher a call. ~=— Money to Loan—~ on Watches. Diamonds —Jewoley CLOTHING AND EVERYTHING accereers ()f Value vrs Watvhes and -lewelry Sold on Payments’ AT CASH PRICES. rin wateuss seo seweney StiGamacte? Union Loan Office. 427 Minnesota ave. kansas’ city. kans. TO SAVE MONEY. Ladies suits, dressing sacques, aprons and in fact anything in the Dressmaking line and sold-on weekly and monthly payments. Here is a few prices: Belt dresses $1.00 and up; dressing sacques 5Octs and up. Call and see ine. . one Mrs W. F. Williams, 1510 North Third St, Kansas City, Kansas | ee en saeodd ha uopeasososd stom 105 wore oq som (MME. LF. JOHNSON, evo [wjads sso[un pus ‘wessy pue TIDUL Uy ovis PIA © Ur WEL OF8 495 /Shampooing, Manicuring, Massage ieee ean on ae and Scalp ‘Trea tment. Wy suompeds om} er CLOUL OUR | To1.705 w. 4 sPEoranr , -xe 4|2vou 8} so1900U;q2 UEypUy EGE, MME. L, F. JOHNSON, Shampooing, Manicuring, Massage and Scalp Trea tment. ‘Tel.733 W. 4 sPmorans , Duplex Telegraphy in c.... ao line «ee ~ The telegraph line from Vienna Ceernowitz ts the longest tne ay rope which uses the duplex Sita being 630 miles long. ‘The © was adopted a few months ae was found necessary to increase capacity of the line, which tia’ the matter for Roumania, Southeaty Russia and a part of Bulgaria, 0 system works well at presen, ’ though the line is constructed gy’ wire instead of copper. Good Luck for Turtles at Leay The Chinese have a peculiar es with regard to turtles, which they sider as very good joss. Almost day one can see these creatures, of them of huge size, being sy on board the river steamers, not ty taken to Canton for culinary py but to be dumped into the sey restored to liberty and freedom, luck is thought to follow. —Htongy Press. Good to Lick Baby With | ate... 2 Saw lately a dainty and origy gift for a young mother. It was “a measuring stick for baby,” mu white wood thirty-six inches long marked off into inches as ain, as a tape measure. Forgetmenots 9g pat’ ted down the side, and at nrg w..: a hole in which was a ribbog: and loop by which to suspen Good Housekeeping. Moisture in Tobacco, The presence of moisture in toy fs, the Lancet believes, of sone, portance to public health, since 4 combustion of tobacco contain large proportion of moisture is peded, avhile as the ¢ erat, Yapor Is inereased, so are oi of the polsonous princit.e being ried into the mouth diminished, Early Japanese University, It will surprise most readers Jearn from a recent Japanese wi that there was a university in J ethics, mathematics and history, that text books were employed & ing with such specialties as the ¢ eases of women, veterinary surg and materia medica. Casting a Gloom. “Yes, for local talent, it vas at rate entertainment,” said the si an resident, “and” we made sn hundred dollars for the hospital f but there was one little hitch. J town undertaker was down for ata solo, and he insisted on singing‘ Waiting for Thee.’ "—New York § Consider Dreams Revelation. Among the people of the «atl dream is considered to be a revelation from God, and ther in the Orient, even to-day, sw ers, or fortune tellers, who inta dreams, just as the soothseyen in bible times, and from dreasi the future of the dreamer. Cancer Victims Well to Ds Statistics show that cancer is common among those who are tomed to the refinements of life among the very poor, and to cat such patients the doctors say Good surroundings are a nece! Snakes in India. About 400,000 snakes are every year in British India. Tbe aid as-rewerds annually for th struction of beasts of prey ant omous snakes by the govern India amount to about $125,00. German Colony in Palestine Thirty-four years ago a Germut ony settled at Haifa, Palestine day all of the ninety familles are prosperous. They raise and make wine free from which {s sold to the natives. Sete Badeor in Court A ledger kept in the Irish I ‘Was produced at the Roscommil sizes, in Ireland, and the wits! to go on the bench to transla! terms for the judge. Gravity. An observing schoolboy wrott! short essay: “Gravity was ered by Izaak Walton. It is noticeable when the apples #! ing from the trees.” Novices Leave Convent. Stealing the front door key {r# Pocket of the mother superlos 4 young novices escaped from thes Yent of Santa Clara in Lisbon ## appeared. Dogs May Ride in Berlit. Dogs are allowed to enter (8 cars in Berlin, but must be their master’s laps and paid {04 they were human passengers: Credit Is a Necessity- As trade now stands, there ¥ enough gold out of the earth Were all coined, to transact tH ness of a day. Nationalities Among Russis ‘The Russian population ¥h 110 nationaitties, the three srt! being Finns, Tartans and Sla"é Aluminum for Sharpening © Aluminum is superior to a"! fer sharpening cutlery. Beware Denmark’s Honey Export Denmark exports 2,500,000 ef honey a year. THE SECRET OUT. FVERY ONE ASKS HIM _- When Doctors Failed, six physicians, all of them good, one of them 8 specialist, had doue their best for Mr. ‘ones at different times during three years, and still ho suffered fear- fally from the tortures of rheumatism, ‘The rheumatism that had been dor- mant in his system was suddenly brought to an acute stage by exposure while he was drawing ice in February, 01. From that time on for a period of more than three years he was @ con- stant sufferer. He tried many kinds of treatment, but the rheumatism wouldn't budge, When regular doctors failed, and one remedy after another proved ascless, many said: “I should think he foul give ft up and save his money.” Of his condition at this time, Mr. Jones says: “My rheumatism started ia my right thigh, but in time it ap- jareitin every muscle of my body. I lost the use of my left arm en- tively and nearly lost the uso of my right one. My feet were badly affected, specially the bottoms of the heels. When my right side was affected there was swelling, but the left side didn’t swell when the disease settled there. The internal organs didn't seem to be involved at all. ‘The trouble was all in the muscles aud the nerves."” Among the few who still encouraged Mir, Jones to think that a cure might set be found was a friend who had rea- jon for great confidence in Dr. Wil- tums’ Pink Pills, and acting on her advice he bought a box of them in Sep- tember, 1904. The story of what fol- lowed is brief, but nothing could be more satisfactory. “When L was on the third box,” says Mr. Jones, “I could realize a change for the better. I felt sure then that Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills were the right medicine for my case, I kept on with them for several weeks longer and now I am entirely well, and everybody is asking what I took.” Mr. William Jones lives at Oxford, Mich. Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills effect wouderfal cures in rheumatism, because they work directly om the blood which is the seat of the disease. They are sold ‘by every drogsict. Not His Heart, “The doctor tells Archie Pneer he has the tobacco heart.” I don’t believe it. He never gave anybody a cigar in his life.” When Your Grocer Saye he dors not have Defiance Starch, you may be sure he fs afraid to keep it un- Ul hls stock of 12 oz. packages are sold, “Defance Starch is not only bet- ter than any other Cold Water Starch, ut contains 18 oz. to the package and fells for same money as 12 oz, brands. Laws may be repealed, but it is dif ferent with oranges, Every Yousekeeper should know that if they will buy Defiance Cold Water Starch for laundry use they will save not only time, because it never sticks to the fron, but because each package contains 16 oz.—one full Pound—while all other Cold Water Starches are put up in %-pound pack- ees, and the price is the same, 10 cents. Then again because Defiance Starch is free from all injurious chem- feals. If your grocer tries to sell you 4 1202, package it is because he has 4 stock on hand which be wishes to dispose of before he puts in Deflance. He knows that Deflance Starch has Printed on every package in large let- ters and figures “16 ozs." Demand De- fance and save much time and money and the annoyance of the iron stick- lug. Defiatice never sticks. It the man is poor we call him cranky, if rich we say he has eccen. trisities, 1 \gulute the many false and _malici- tus attacks, bogus formulas and other juttuthful statements published. concern- tng Doctor Pierce's World-famed Family Medicines the Doctor has decided to pub- lish all the ingredients entering into his "Favorite Prescription” for women and his eanally, Popular tonic alterative Fuown'as Dry Dieree’s Golden: Mesliont Discovery, Hereafter every bottle of these medicines: leaving the great Labor- Xtory at Buffalo, N. Yue Will Dear upon ft & fall list of all’ the ingredients entering into the compound. Both are made en- fu} from native roots, barks and herbs, The ‘ngredients of the "Golden Med- feat Discovery” being Golden Seal root, Queen's ‘root, Black-cherrybark, Man- ‘Grke root, Bloodroot. S Why is itso many have been strength- ‘ghed and benefited. by the tonic effect of Pr Pictee’s Golden. Stedical Discovery ? i ts becauh at this time of the year puple feel rundown, nerveless, sleepless inky'or8, out.” “Poisons have’ accemus tet their body during the long wine wt. Their blood stores up a lot of waste [ulict which poisons the system, “That tty tn the spring and carly summer 3 Colloe’ wilinost a necessity. Dr. Pierce's ndicyaltdical Discovery being made of teicanal plants, is next to nature and nacn’t tonte you ean use, For the same mason that, Vegetables and greens are Seat {oF tho system at this time of the inurce s Ht true that a tonte made up. lrely of meatcinal plants, without the ake st coliol, is the proper medicine Heke wt this time: It Alls the Bleed ose feclire' blood corpuscles. “It gives yous feeit of strength, and Te pugs sunsets ‘Tia? iar system a8 no other remedy ean, Bat is 1"! Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical thepagty as been such a favorite for te Past forty years, He is not afraid to. (ht his laboratory to the publig, and. he Howl {XY one ‘to visit his Tavalias: x.y, {54 Surgical Institute, at Buffalo, are aioe how systematically the sick Koklng it ¢8Te of and cured, as well as Bethe “renee AbOratarY and soe. - lent met is of preparing NUS Wonderful tones Res agrees ae ecieg e eee +s Taare py se ES NTERE AL ELE Ts staan, aes ak OB CONSUMPTION 2 Butcher Is Humorous, “Look here, butcher, this meat {s half bone.” “fou are mistaken, sir. That ts good meat.” “Botheration! Do you suppose I don’t know bone when I see it? 1 sa ythis is bone!” “Yes, certainly that’s bone. The bone is bone, but the meat isn't, You said the meat was half bone.” Iraate employer—“See here, you young Rip Van Winkle, I only hired you yesterday; and I believe, on my soul, you've been asleep around. here ever since!” Sleepy Joe—‘That's what I thought you wished, sir. Here's your advertisement: ‘Wanted: An office boy, not over sixteen; must sleep on the premises.’”—New Or- leans Times-Democrat. New York Weekly:Young Horse— Nothing but work, work, work. I've a great mind to commit suicide. Old Horse—Have patience. When you are so old that you can’t walk, you'll be advertised as suitable for a lady to drive, and after that you'll live in lux- ury. “bad Inflamatory Rheamatism, but Iam Tip. Tosi bon toad” Gael tae ere Nee Many a poor bootblack shines in so- ciety, Deafness Cannot Be Cured by Jocal appieaiions, as they cannot reach the ais sto goon of the or het oly ue way. to gig damon and iat aby contutona eehiee Deattoag ig eaured by an fnfumned-coodltion at th miucowe laing of the fouscachian Taber When ois tag is indatied. yua have a ramblieg sound ey ta Derfeet Rearing, atd when it ts entirely closed, Deaf. bese isthe resuitand-aniees the infantunation con bo tngea out and thi tube reatored to ts normal con, tidu, Mearlog. will be destroyed forevers mine cases ouvir ton aro eauned by Catarsh, witch iewoihiag oiika wil give One Hueiced Boles Tr ates ot Deafness (caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured, by Halls Catsreh Cure, Send for circulars, free. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0. S018 by Druggists 738. : ‘Talc Hal's Paratly Pils for constipation. It takes a mother-in-law to lay down the letter of the law to a lawyer. {na Pinch, Use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE, A powder. It cures painful,smarting,nerv- ous feet and ingrowing nails, It's the greatest comfort discovery of the age. ‘Makes new shoes easy. A certain cure for sweating feet. Sold by all druggists, 25c. Trial package FREE. Address A. S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y. An Ohio man attempted to drown his sorrows by turning the hose on hig mother-in-law—and almost did it. Misarshta Canditiane Of body and mind, always result from a torpid liver, which leads to bile poisor being absorbed into the blood, and poisoning all the nerves and tis: sues. This dreadful state, some of the symptoms of which are headache, bit- ter taste, nausea, lack of appetite, yellow complexion, constipation, ete., ean be quickly cured by taking Dr. Caldwell’s (laxative) Syrup Pepsin. It relieves the strain on your liver, relaxes the tightened bowels, purifies the blood, strengthens the stomach, and makes it as clean as a whistle. The result is perfect health, and free- dom from pain and discomfort. ‘Try it. Sold by all druggists at 50c and $1.00. Money back if it fails. ‘Though a man declares he is willing to lay his fortune at a girl’s feet, he is seldom willing to even lay a carpet for her after he has been married about two years. The Present Rate Law. The duties of the present Interstate Commerce Commission are to correct ali discriminations in railroad rates. if {t finds that an unjust rate is in effect, the railroad is notified. If it Geclines to change it, the Commission can bring suit in Court and it the Court decides in favor of the Com- wissioners’ finding, the railroad must obey, or its officers may be brought up for contempt of court and summarily dealt with. When a man is poor, he is usually good to his wife, but when he gets $200 a month the blondes usually get him. ‘Woman can be handsome who has {m- Purities in the blood, for It will show In Pimples, boils, and eruptions, in the dark circles tinder ‘the eyes and in the sallow goppiesion, After taking *Golden Med- feal Discovery” you are bound to have pink checks and afresh complexion, ‘he muscles get the good, rich, red blood; that, puts on strength.” Tt is a flesh builder, but not a fat builder. As an example of the good results thus obtained, note the following letter : “In the year 189, I had an attack of indigestion and got.so bad that my home doctor said he could not da me any good, writes Mr. G. Trent, of - Gordonville, ‘Texas. "Lwrote to you and you advised me to uso Dr, Pleree’s Golden. Medical Discovery, so I bought. six bottles, and when I commenced using it I was so weak could hardly walk about the house, By the time T had used ono bottle ny stomach and bowels commenced to heal, Ther were strips of the lining of my. bowels as large as a man’s two fingers passed and Thad a great deal of misery in my stomach and bowels, and also in the rectum especially. I could not eat anything, without having much distress afterward, but by the time I had taken eight bottles of the ‘Uolden Medical Dis- covery’ I was sound and well, and could eat anything I pleased without suffering in the least. Could also do as much work in a day as I ever could. I have not suffered from the trouble since.” . Jez Good temper is Dr. Pierce’s faint 01 health, and good health is largely a mat ter of Healthy activity of the bowels, "Dr Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure constipa- tion. ‘They are safe, sure and speedy, and once taken do not have to be taken always. One little “Pellet” is a gentle laxative, and twoa mild cathartic. They never Pell ts, gripe. By all druggists, ets. ‘The selfish seller who urges some sub- stitute is thinking of the larger protit he'll make and not of your best good. W. N. U., KANSAS CITY, NO. 16, 1905 BEGGS’ BLOOD PURIFIER CURES catarrh of the stomach, pun OBR Like NG & Ge PUG: SA ae Ck gle PO ee Ken Ee ees ESC Geen Ye Ron HIN TRY PS Se vans Mot ves vel icy Ses sve ‘The Cheerful Idiot. “What's the difference," began the Cheerful. Idiot, just as everybody pushed back his chair from the boarding house table, “what's the dif- ference between a postage stamp and Soe Presently, noting every one else ead left the room, he emptied the prasetvo Jaro is clase Getta bled, with his mouth full: “One you lick to stick er’ and the other one sticks to liquor. Ha ha, ha ha!”—Baltimore American. nce Se ee Sar £ Le el ov Bil s Le er i Ve ee APF; eo, yy $ yp we ae ENS sf eae 3a oe ds er Sab Sis FS te Plausible Pete—“I wasn’t always thus, kind lady.” The Cook—“No; you were lame in the other foot when you called here day before yesterday.” Cruelty to Animals. MeNoyes—“You know that I’m learning to play the cornet.” Pjackson—“Yes, I've heard about it.” MecNoyes—“Well, my landlord said I disturbed people and I'd have to move. So I rented a room above a livery stable.” Pjackson—“Get along all right there?” MeNoyes—“No; I was arrested by an officer of the S. P. C. A.”—Cleve- land Leader, 2 Watching for a Sure Sian. “Those two men talking together over there are worth a good many millions between them.” “Which is the richer?” “I don't know, positively, but watch the bishop, who's going to speak to them.” “Why?” “See which one he shakes hands with first.”—Life. The Amateur’s Blunder, “Now,” chortled the amateur Sher lock to his lady partner, “it is easy to see that gentleman yonder is not married.” “Pray, how can you tell?” “By his neglected air, his frowsy appearance. No woman would let a man go about like that. His coat lacks two buttons, you perceive, and he is not brushed.” “Still,” said the lady, “he is mar. ried.” “You know him then?” “I am his wife."—Philadelphia Bul- letin. ‘pitealeaen: Jack—"I hear your literary circle is making a study of Shakespe.re now.” May—“Yes.” Jack—“And what do you think of tim?” May—“Ob, all the girls think he’s just cute.” Not a Lonesome Road. “The way of the transgressor ia hard,” quoted the wise guy. “Yes,” agreed the simple mug, “but it isn’t lonesome.” Rural, pS LAE Dp Set Se Eats See If Ee eee a Saga Bi NL ds IN IRAP) Fe 5 me 2 First Bug—What ye harvesting, sit Second Bug—Jest cuttin’ out a lit- Suspicious. Josh—It says in this hore financial report that the banks gained two mil- lions from the Sub-Treasury. Hiram—Does, eh? Wonder what kind of a game they've been playin’ on it imprudent. Ethel—Is she very extravagant? Helen—Yes, indeed. She spends so much money on dress that she some times has little or nothing left for her complexion. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES Whicaierer wont Sond post pandacioen pectage, Weite far tre Woctire Hae 1s Bor Binsch ed Caen NES oe oe Ce ee es caeats Why the Public ts Happy. Chairman Hull, of the House Mili- tary Committee, is a gentleman of suf- ficient prominence in affairs to avoid laughter at his idea of the Japanese taking the Philippine Islands away from us; but, anyhow, there is no Prospect of a war coming early enough to interrupt the public happi- ness over the suspension of govern- ment functions at Washington.—Cin- cinnati Enquierer. 1 am sure Pie's Cure fr Consumption saved any life tree years gous. THON Ro aise Maple Street, Norwich, N.Y Feb. In an English village four horses were found maimed with a knife in a field, The village constable guessed that one of the horses might have got home a kick on his assailant. He vistt- ed the doctor and found that he had treated a man for a kick. He proved to be the man wanted. rw, Winslow's Soathing Syrap. Fonihiteratapeyata correla a Soe ids The man too modeest to think he is better than others, takes great pride in the reflection that he is “different.” $5.00 paid monthly, will buy a $300 share of 14 2-5 acres of 288,000 acre plantation. 8§ guaranteed. Every condition safe-guarded. ‘Agents wanted ‘Best pay and wernitry. Moore,210 Odd Fellows’ Bldg..St.Louis. Mo. A Morning Dream. Mrs. Skynflynt—What are you chuckling about Jonas? Mr, Skynflynt—tI dreamed I was go- ing to give a Pullman porter a quar- ter. Mrs, Skynflynt—Shouldn’t think that would make you grin. Mr, Skynflynt—Well, I woke up just as he was reaching for it—Louisville Courier-Journal, Like and Unlike. “Whenever a woman becomes un- reasonable it's attributed to her nerves. Isn’t that singular?” “Yes, but the unreasonbleness of a man is attributed to his nerve, and that’s still more singular.” Discouraging Discovery. “I understand she loved him at firet.” “Yes, that was before.” “Before what?” : “Before she found out that she had mistaken him for rich cousin.” Now that the visiting season is draw. ing near, those who paid their board when in St. Louis last summer are feeling better about it. A Mipnmeel Dinasuew:. Broadland, S. Dak., April 17—Quite @ sensation has been created here by ‘the publication of the story of G. W. Gray, who after a special treatment for three months was prostrate and helpless and given up to die with Bright's Disease. Bright's Disease has always been considered incurable, but evidently from the story told by Mr. Gray, there is a remedy which will cure it even in the most advanced stages, This is what he says: “I was helpless as a little babe. My wife and I searched everything and read everything we could find about Bright's Disease, hoping that I would be able to find a remedy. After many failures my wife insisted that I should try Dodd's Kidney Pills. I praise God for the day when I decided to do so. for this remedy met every phase of my case and in a short time I was able to get out of bed and after a few weeks’ treatment I was a strong, well man. Dodd's Kidney Pills saved my life.” A remedy that will cure Bright's Disease will cure any lesser Kidney Disease. Dodd's Kidney Pills are cer- tainly the most wonderful discovery which modern medical research has given to the world. The largest window in Britain is the east window in York Cathedral. It is 75 feet high and 32 feet wide. Much valuable information free about band instruments; write for tne new catar loge to-day.’ JENKINS’ MUSIC HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, MO. “T've discovered a lot of important things in my time; but the most of them have turned out to be untrue.” —Parson Twine. Many Children Are Sickly. Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Children, used by Mother Gray, a nurse in Children's Home, New York, Cure Feverishness, Head- ache, Stomach Troubles, Teething Dis- orders, Break up Colds and Destroy Worms. Atall Druggists',25c. Sample mailed FREE, Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y.- There is nothing that so promptly cuts short congestion of the lungs, sore throat or rheumatism, as hot water when applied promptly and thoroughly. USE THE FAMOUS Red Cross Ball Blue. Large 2-02, package 5 sents. ‘The Iuss Company, Sou Bend, Ind, Somehow a misspelled word in a love letter never looks so bad as one in a letter writeen just before committing suicide, uality Bring Hi 1s soten milion Comm Ee ees te Binder” straight 5c cigar now sold annu- ally. Made of extra quality tobacco. Many who formerly smoked 106 cizars are now moking Lewis’ Single Binder, Lewis’ Factory, Peoria, Tl. ‘The Buzzsaw’s Hilarity, “I guess I am rather hilarious,” the buzzsaw admitted. “The man who runs me brought some whichky into tre shop this morning.” “Well?” inquired the lathe. “Well, I took two or three finers at his expense.”—Chicago Journal. Suggestions How to. Find Relief from Such Suffering. A a! ODIs OR D aS, Sa ea | Js ooo /f Ree NG 3. Nee ae os in| VANES Cer ‘ee AS is JD < Ia 7 ee eo Fe ET oy els: Nellie Holmes GM) MrsTillie Hart Qa) Say Plainly to Your Grocer ‘That you want LION COFFEE always, and he, beings ejusreiman, will nob try 40 ell yourany: thing else. You may not care for our opinion, but What About the United Judgment of Millions of housekeepers who have used LION COFFEE for over a quarter of a century? Is there any stronger proof of merit, than the Pe Confidence of the People a e and ever increasing popularity? \ LION COFFEE 1s carefully se- ay) Ey Jected at the plantation, shipped fi \ SS direct to our various factories, LI eas i where it is skillfully roasted and MN ZA, carefully packed in sealed pack- 4) i) } Vos “} ages—unlike loose coffee, which i) ae CRE 3 is exposed to germs, dust, in- att AN y= sects, etc. LION COFFEEreaches te LA) ee you as pure and clean as when o, Serkgeeee , tleft the factory. Sold only in eer Sgr sso" 1 1b, packages. Lion-head on every package. Save these Lion-heads for valuable premiums, SOLD BY GROCERS EVERYWHERE WOOLSON SPICE CO., Toledo, Ohio. RACES! RACES! Kansas City Jockey Club Elm Ridge—Spring Meeting, 25 Days © Races Daily, Rain or Shine 6 APRIL 22 TO MAY 20 Derby Day, Saturday, April 22 V4.U= DERBY. Hae Se IRN aR A GAS RANGE in the COUNTRY Miter in here. The Gant err muakes le pO eee ee aceasta eee eouneetione-"tnd i's hale, dinpia: ceokncieal are he este oe Hint. chil or ae wartioed heed chi eee eae ich Fea ee ae Geox den daorno hindling ashees Sook OF de Sie Sou ae oe oe Se QUICK MEAL ‘revo GASOLINE RANGE ¥ i sand Sepa et oho, bar oh tea tenting lego al SS ao <a Eainiay ea incterristorcsonenn tor te, See tve ta cad to pour re"Agi wavs vag hat Vouotahe co uate eee Ses |e fl eae ee ised At ar ac at ace hee, “page| Would You Like a Present? sowing “ttn!” | emega Ee ince Stove Div." Matores *” ScctrSe Bt Lal, Mo. f NO MONEY TILL CURED. 28 was estunusien PILES ote daca tm dia ana temenie ‘eer mild metbod, nose pald a ceat till cared—we furnish thelr aames on application. \ DR. THORNTON & MINOR, 27,013 etwet. gr Zot Bo While no womanis entirely free from periodical suffering, it does not seem to be the plan of nature that women should suffer so severely. Menstrua- tion is a severe strain on a woman's vitality. If it is painful or irregular something is wrong which shonid be Set right or it will lead to a serious de- rangement of the whole female organ. ism, More than fifty thousand women have testified in grateful letters to Mrs. Pinkham that Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compotind overcomes pain: fal and irregular menstruation. It provides a safe and sure way of es- cape from distressing and dangerous weaknesses and diseases. ‘The two following letters tell so con- vineingly what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound will do. for women, they cannot fail to bring hope to thousands of sufferers. Miss Nellie Holmes of 510 N. Davi- | sion Street, Buffalo, N.¥., writes: Dear Mrs, Pinkham:— “ Your medicine is indeed an ideal medicine for women. I suffered misery for years with Painful periods, healachos and boat ing-down Ba cme. two ditt phyla failed to get ony reliet. "A friend froma the Hast advised me to try Lydia Pine hama's Vegetable Compounit, “Y-di so, an no longer suffer as I did before. My periods are natural: every ache and pain is gone, and toy “general heath is much improved 1 figs all womnen who suffer to take Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound.” Mrs. Tillie Hart, of, Larimore, N. D., writes: Dear Mrs, Pinkham:— “I might have have boon spared many months of suffering and pain hat "only known of the efficacy of Lydia E, Pinkham's ‘Mate Bee. Dinbtiam’a Adlulnn 5 Clea Vegetable Compound sooner; for I have tried. so many remedies, without. a “T dreaded the approach of my menstrual period every month, as itmeant. eka and suffering for me, but after [had the Compound fro months bacaine mogul and natural and am now perfectly. well and free from pain atmy monthly perigas Lam very grateful for what Lydia E. Pinkham's Voge {ble Compound has done for me.” Such testimony should be accepted by all women as convincing evidence that Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound stands without @ peer as @ remedy for all the distressing ills of women, The success of Lydia E. Pinkham’'s Vegetable Compound rests upon the well-earned gratitude of American women. When women are troubled with irreg= ular, suppressed or painful menstrua- tion, leucorrheea, displacement or ul- ceration of the womb, that bearing- down feeling, inflammation of the ovaries, backache, bloating, (or flatu- lency), general debility, indigestion and nervous prostration, or are beset with such symptoms as dizziness, faintness, lassitude, excitability, irritability, ner- vousness, sleeplessness, melancholy, they should remembe there is one tried, and true remedy, Lydia KE. Pinkham's' Vegetable Compound at once removes such troubles, Refuse to buy any other medicine, for you need the best. Don’t hesitate to write to Mrs. Pinkham if there is anything about your sickness you do not understand. She will treat you with kindness aud her advice is tree. No woman ever regretted writing her and she has helped thousands. Address Lyon, Mass. an Best Understands a Woman's HIlls. Tuesday. Dear Billie:—Your letter of June 26th reached me ages ago at St. Petersburg, but I have been so very busy that I have had no time for reply. It is very good of you, I am sure, to think of me. So you are settled in your quiet, married life. Requiescat in pace. they be regilded, show their der here and there. So let the old to remain in the dust heap of depart yesterday. Then trot along, Billie, dear; enjoy all the happiness and comforts my mirage has brought you. Stray me back again o'er the days of old—daf of lost illusions, days when we dare be sincerer; days before the re What a rover I have become! Now here, now there. The Wandering Jew is a veritable stay-at-home in comparison with my peregrinations, and I marvel now how I was ever content in the monotonous rut in which I lived when I loved you. That was before I knew anything of life or of men, and when you vowed you loved me and would love me always, and I believed you, how my very credulity must have bored you. Gullibility is so very unattractive—so very gauche You were indeed self-sacrificing to give me so much of your time and so many of your kisses. The contact of your lips, the warmth of your caresses and the electric bond that united us constituted my heaven and I could not tell you how deeply I loved you, nor could I make sacrifices enough for you. How very bourgeois. You were very patient to tolerate me co long as you did. But then, first love is always foolishly sincere, and its very honesty and depth bring their own reward—desertion. I see myself as I was then—half-formed—undeveloped. And how lonely I used to be. What fool things I did and said and believed. And when you left me without one moment's warning, I wanted to throw away this life—to speed it to unknown worlds. How cruel. I know now that life is full of interest, ever changing, ever new scenes. I have run the gamut of all known emotions, and out of the conflict has come power. Knowledge, experience, contrast—what a trinity of power. How splendid to have the world at one's feet—to chose where one was'once a supplicant. This freedom, this glorious. What power has a woman o'er the whole world after she has awakened. I thank you, dear Billie, for having awakened me. Truly, it is the unexpected that happens and you wish to become a part of my life again. My cher ami, you are too late. Much too late. I have something more interesting to do just now, besides the husband of another woman can never attract me. Tis strange how many things come to a man after he is married. You have gained your ambition—you have married wealth and position and yet you say your heart aches, you sigh for love and that memories of happier days haunt you. I will turn counsellor—marvelous the change in me, is it not? Hearts are but encumbrances to be cast aside when ambition beckons. Do not allow your heart any hearing. As for love. What is love? Mean- D. D. H. ingles signs relegated to femmes des chambres and valets. For people of knowledge, love does not exist. As for memories, pooh, they are but the nightmares of a disordered brain. take a tonic. We learn all these things after the disenchantment of reality has come. You were amused, and for two years—so you told me—what more can you ask? Amusement comes not back again, and old toys, even though "Dear Billie:" they be regilded, show their dents here and there. So let the old toys remain in the dust heap of departed yesterdays. Then trot along, Billie, dear; enjoy all the happiness and comforts marriage has brought you. Stray not back again over the days of old—days of lost illusions, days when we dared be sincere; days before the refinement of advanced civilization caused us to wound and wound and wound. One is so foolish to remember. The opening of closed eyes may have caused pain at the time of the operation, but when the vision becomes clearer and the brain can analyze and contrast, we thank God for having made the operation necessary and we can forget or remember, just as we choose. I have chosen forgetfulness. Do you likewise. Do not let remorse bother you. I had to learn and you MISUM Memories refuse to be silenced. were a very proficient teacher. I have long since written finis to our chapter, and the school books have been sold to a second-hand dealer in experience. I am in excellent health, thank you. Every moment of life reveals new joys. I am never ennui. Dear Jack!--Days and nights have I sat here alone endeavoring to convince myself that I could grant you the wish of your heart, but I cannot. Did I know less of love—its possibilities and its disappointments, I might accept your offer and become your wife. "Wife." How sweet sounds the word. Time was when I would have bartered my soul for the tiny hoop of gold the few words of a priest entitled woman to wear. How I loved in those days, and I experienced those exquisite emotions revealed only to those who can love but once. The memory of that love is upon me now. I dash away the tears that arise unbidden to my eyes. Tears, ah, dearest of friends, how scalding are the tears born of love unrequited. Memories refuse to be silenced, and some thoughts are wounds that can never heal. Go where I will, do what I will, his face is ever before me, and even though he married another, my thoughts are all of him. I tell you this, because I know that you will understand. I feel that you love me and are sincere in your wish to try to make me happy. Would that you could, but 'tis so long since I have been happy, that I have forgot the word's meaning. The world considers me a flirt—a coquette. I care not, but I could not bear the thought of your joining in that opinion, so I have opened the wound and now night and day shall I pay an added penalty. In those days of love, I imagined that a great love would attract and hold a great love. But I have learned the sad lesson of life. Love tarries just so long as there are sweeter depths to discover, newer delights to enjoy. Pardon me, dear friend, for my candor, but I can but speak of love as I found it. Lord Byron knew the heart of woman. Read what he says: "Alas, the love of woman! It is known To be a lovely and a fearful thing; For all of theirs upon that die is thrown, And if 'tis lost, life hath no more to bring To them but mockeries of the past alone. "They are right; for man so oft unjust, Is always so to woman; one sole bond Awaits them, treachery is all their trust." I am capable of but one love. For your sake I wish it were otherwise. I know what it is to love and to long for a loved one—to stretch out one's arms and to clasp thin air. But better thin air than the body of flesh, to later discover deceit and treachery. There are other things I wish to say to you, but I cannot. These love memories strangle all other thoughts—my eyes burn and refuse to perform their duty—my hands are as ice, and I must sit here a prey to mockeries of the past. You are a man—it is given to you to forget. A woman never forgets. I thank you for the great honor you have tendered me. May God bless you, and may you love and marry a woman who can love you as you deserve to be loved. Yours most sincerely, BETTINA PERCIVAL SPOKE AS A FRIEND. Doctor's Invitation Had Nothing to Do With Advice. McLaughlin likes a "wee dhrop," but he likes it often. His heart grew weaker as his thirst grew stronger. Finally there came a time when he felt the need of a doctor's advice, and so he called on one of his friends who was a physician. He found the doctor in his study, with a cannel fire at one side and a decanter of liquor on the table at his left. The doctor reached for his stethoscope, and the patient unfastening his coat, cast an envious eye at the decanter. The test being over, the doctor placed the stethoscope on the table near the decanter, and said: "Mac, you have a bad heart; a very bad heart. Nothing organic, my boy, but you will have to let liquor alone. That is my advice as a physician." McLaughlin reached for his hat. His fears were realized. He tried to listen to a "good story" the doctor was telling. But he was in no humor for joking and he edged his way toward the door. "Have a little drink before you go," said the doctor, as he poured out some of the contents of the decanter into a glass. "What do you mean?" demanded McLaughlin. "Didn't you just tell me that if I didn't stop drinking it would be the death of me?" "Yes, I did," said the doctor. "But that was the physician's advice. As an old friend, however, I insist on you taking a nip now and then. Here's your good health." Mrs. Blank's Club Paper Ever since young Mrs. Blank joined the Mutual Culture club the prospect of some day having to read a paper there has hung like a pall over her. When, after evading her duty as long as possible, she found herself set down for a thesis on Neo-Platonism or Babism, or something equally beyond her ability, she nearly resigned from the club. There are ways, however, of managing these things, and Mrs. Blank found one of them through the kindness of Miss Jinks, a fellow member who writes for her living. Mrs. Blank arrived at the club on the appointed day in a new gown. She had, indeed, spent the time that ought to have served to make her more familiar with her paper in having that gown fitted. The paper, however, was neatly typed, and Mrs. Blank read it most impressively till she came to the bottom of the first page. There a word seemed to be lacking. Mrs. Blank hesitated, re-read the line, and hesitated again. Miss Jinks popped up eagerly. "The word is 'syllogism.'" she said. Why He Passed. One of Assistant Attorney General Beck's stories was especially appreciated by law students. A general in the civil war applied at the close of the conflict for admission to the bay of the United States. A committee of three examiners reported that he had answered correctly two-thirds of the questions put to him. A judge, astonished at the general's success, asked the chairman of the committee what the questions were. "Well," he replied, "the first was, 'What is the rule in Shelly's case' and the answer was 'Writing poetry.' That was not correct. "Then we asked him what was a contingent remainder' and a 'vested interest,' and he said he did not know. That was correct, and we admitted him—Chicago Law Journal. Reliance. Not to the swift. the race; Not to the strong, the fight; Not to the perfect grace; Not to the wise, the light. But often faltering feet Come surrest to the goal; And they who walk in darkness meet The sunrise of the soul. A thousand times by night The Syrian hosts have died; A thousand times the vanquished right Hath risen glorified. The truth the wise men sought Was spoken by a child; The was brought to sought In trembling hands defiled. Not from my torch, the gleam, But from the stars above; Not from my heart life's crimson stream But from the depths of love. —Henry van Dyke, in The Atlantic. Aged Minister to Carry Mails Rev. J. N. Crane, a Methodist minister of Flatlands, near Riverhead, L. L., has contracted with the government to carry the mails on the Riverhead-Flanders "star" route. He is nearly 70 years old. Previous to preaching there he was stationed in a small Connecticut town. Advancing Old Age is detected by a gradual loss of elasticity in the outer skin which subtly turns expression lines into wrinkles. JOHN H. WOODBURY'S FACIAL SOAP TRADE FOR THE SKIN MARL SCALP AND Cumpliment keeps the skin firm wholesome and well nourished, thus retiring the ravages of time. For over 30 years this Face Soap has been indispensable to its acquaintances. 25 cents A CAKE. Woodbury's Facial Cream applied regularly whitens and preserves the natural condition of the face skin. INITIAL OFFER In case your dealer cannot supply you send us his name and we will send, prepaid, to any address for $1.00 the following toilet requisites. Together with our readable booklet Beauty's Masque, a careful treatise on the care of the "outer self." Booklet free on application. THE ANDREW JERGENS CO., CINOINNATI, O. Fat and Lean, "Do you like fat girls?" "Well, I rather lean that way." Racing at Kansas City. The Kansas City Jockey Club will hold one of the greatest meets of the season, beginning April 22 and lasting 25 days. Fast horses are arriving by the car load from New Orleans, Los Angeles and all the other racing centers. A mute is the only know woman that goes without saying. "We have had a splendid winter" In Western Canada. Canada's inrush this year is wonderfully great and considerably ahead of any previous year. It is always interesting to those who contemplate moving to read expressions of opinion from those living in the country. it is therefore our pleasure to reproduce the following, written to an Agent of the Government and forwarded to the Immigration Branch of the Department of the Interior at Ottawa: Birch Hills, Sask, Canada, Feb. 1, '05. Dear Sir;—I take pleasure in dropping you a few lines to let you know how we are getting along up here and how we like the place. We have been close on to a year now and think the place is fine. We have been out every day this winter working in the bush getting out logs for buildings, etc., getting rails for fencing. We have not suffered with the cold as much as we did in Chicago. My little boys are out every day with their sleighs having a good time. The lowest the temperature has been this winter is 34 below, and it is very still, no wind. We had a splendid summer. We put up about 50 tons of hay and will have about 30 tons to sell. Hay brings $8 per ton now and will be higher in the spring. We have 20 acres broke and ready for crop. We worked on the Can. Nor. Ry. for awhile this summer and am just 3 miles from the R. R. and town site. The steel is all laid to within 2 miles of the river and we often see the train bringing supplies for the Bridge. My wife's people are coming up about May. I wish you would write them and if there should be any one coming to Prince Albert that could do with a half a car let them know. The homesteads are all taken up within 12 miles of us. I often think if this land were only in the States what a rush there would be. It is the richest land and most productive I ever saw, and the climate is O. K. I know that people back there that I write to do not believe me when I write them what a splendid winter we are having. They think we are all frozen up. We have only about 8 inches of snow, and there are cattle on the range that have not been rounded up this winter. Day after day the Ther, raises up to 50 and 60, and I don't believe we have had a day this winter that it stayed at zero. My wife says that we used to think that zero was cold in Chicago. But we don't mind it one bit. Christmas night we went out and drove 5 miles with our 3 little boys, it was 20 below, and there was not a whimper from any one of them; I'd hate to do it in old Chicago. Well, I guess I will close, and you can tell any one in the U. S. that they cannot do better than come to the Prince Albert District. I remain. Symbols of Superstition. The Japanese have seized the house full of ikons belonging to Gen. Kuropatkin and sent them to Tokyo. No doubt they will be placed in the National Museum of Art there as curious symbols of Western superstition. No Time to Complain. "You have quit complaining about the price of meat." "Had to quit," answered the industrious citizen. "I am kept so busy hustling for the price that I no longer have time to complain." OUT OF THE ORDINARY Dreamin' of the Old Days. Think about the time now when you'll ever city ranch, An' try to be a boy again a-wadin' in the branch! "Splash!" goes the water, An' every ripple seems To bring you back the sunshine— The sweetness of old dreams. Think about the time now when you'll seet where shadders creep, Down by the River, where the boys alr divin' deep. "Splash!" goes the water, An' the river in its flow, is singin'—singin' to you The songs of long ago! Think about the time now—the sweetest time of all. When you listened for a footstep where the blossoms used to fall! Find the old, sweet meadows— Leave yer candle still you! There's blossoms waitin' for you, An' the boys air in the branch! -Atlanta Constitution. Resemblance Led to Crime. In the famous case of Martin Guerre, the launching on a criminal course was the result of an extraordinary chance and a sudden resolve. Martin Guerre was a soldier, and was mortally wounded in a skirmish in the north of France. Among his comrades was a man remarkably like him, and with whom Guerre had contracted a great friendship. The two used to be always together and enjoyed the joke of their strange resemblance. Guerre's double was with him when he was dying and Guerre, with his last breath, begged his comrade to carry some little trinkets he had to his wife at home. The double assented and proceeded to fulfill his promise faithfully. When he arrived at the village on his mission he learned that Guerre's wife had, during her husband's absence in the war, come into some little property through the death of a relation. He began to envy Martin Guerre's lot if he had lived. When the villages saw him they began to exclaim, "Here's Martin Guerre!" By the time he arrived at the cottage door he had decided to act Martin's part, provided the dead man's wife was deceived by his similarity to her husband. She was, and the impostor took Martin Guerre's place. The wife only discovered the truth some twelve months later by the absence from the impostor's arm of a scar which Martip had borne. Horse "Tarred and Stoned." A van laden with tarred stones was passing down Oxford street, London, the other day, near the Marble Arch, when an incident occurred which filled the spectators with amusement. The shafts suddenly gave way, so that the tarry contents of the van were precipitated upon the back of the horse. The animal presented a curious spectacle, for the stones covered the greater portion of his body, adhering by means of the sticky composition. In the end, all other efforts being of no avail, the fantastic creature was led away to be operated upon with suitable chemicals. Odd Month of February. S. C. Hewett of Rockland, Me., who has kept a diary faithfully since 1859 has the following entry against Feb. 28, 1900: "February has been an odd number. The month has but 28 days, although the year is the fourth after leap year; there was no new moon; there was a thunder shower; it has rained six times and had four stormy Sundays. The thermometer ranged from 14 below to 46 above zero. January and March each had two new moons." Relics Hard to Value. When the appraisers of the estate of the late Robert R. Fullerton of Bedford, N. H., came to his collection of ancient firearms and weapons they were at loss to know what to do. A pair of old dueling pistols, silver mounted, and in an excellent state of preservation, was especially difficult to value. Dates were found on them indicating that they had been made and probably used before the revolutionary war. Baths in the Hearth An English builder is introducing hearth-stone baths into his dwelling houses. A cavity in the hearth receives the bath, and can be filled with hot or cold water according to desire, and the water is let out by a plug. When not in use the bath is covered by a wooden lid, which in turn is concealed by the handy hearth rug. Warlike Omen Fulfilled. A Manchester, N. H., m.a. recalls that when he was a young child his father took him to see the vast quantity of army worms which had settled down on trees, grass, houses and fences surrounding Concord common. This visitation occurred about 1860, and people said the worms were an omen of war. Designating California's Climate. Climate in California is not determined by the distance north and south, but by the distance east and west, altitude and distance from the coast. So in future California's climatic belts are to be officially known as "Mountain," "Valley" and "Coastal." Record Shipment of Peanuts The largest single shipment of pea-uts ever recorded was made early in the week from Norfolk, Va., for points west. The shipment embraced ax entire train of thirty-five cars. TRADE MARK. A Marvel of Relief St.Jacobs Oil Safe and sure for Lumbago and Sciatica It is the specific virtue of penetration in this remedy that carries it right to the pain spot and effects a prompt cure. THE FISH BRAND SLICKER A VALUED FRIEND "A good many years ago I bought a FISH BRAND Slicker, and it has proven a valued friend for many a stormy day, but now it is getting old and I must have another. Please send me a price-list." (The name of this worthy doctor, obliged to be on all sorts of weather, will be given on application.) HIGHEST AWARD WORLD'S FAIR, 1904. A. J. TOWER CO. Boston, U.S.A. TOWER CANADIAN COMPANY, Limited Toronto, Canada FISH BRAND A. J. TOWER CO. Boston, U.S.A. TOWER CANADIAN COMPANY, Limited Toronto, Canada Wet Weather Clothing, Suits, and Hats for all kinds of wet work or sport 160 ACRE FARMS IN WESTERN CANADA FREE EXCURSIONS TO THE Free Grant Lands OF Western Canada. During the months of March and April there will be excursions on the various lines of rail- way to the Canadian West. Travel of thousands of acres of the best Wheels and Cruzing Lands on the Continent free to the settler. Adjoining lands may be purchased from rule- way and land companies at reasonable prices. For information as to route, cost of transportation etc., apply to Superintendent of Immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or to authorized Canadian Government Agent - J. S. Crafford, No. 13 W. Ninth Street, Kansas City, Missouri. ORGANS $20 to $40 Highest grade Eagle $20 to $40 Mason & Hamlin, Sorr & Clark, Kimball, Chicago Cottage. Slightly guaranted like new; special descriptions and prices for the asking. Write to day. JENKINS' MUSIC HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, NO. When writing mention this paper. If afflicted with sore eyes, use Thompson's Eye Water KIDDER'S PASTILLES. A Sure, valid gift. Asthma Sold by all Irgens, or by mail. 15 cents. STOWELL & CO., Mrs. Secret of His Success. "Has he any natural gifts?" "Well, if you could hear the artistic way he flatters the boss you'd surely think so." Important to Mothers. Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature of Every woman believes her dressmaker has a house full of handsome patch work quilts and that she helps to buy the pieces. Write to S. G. Warner, G. P. and T. A., Kansas City Southern Ry., Kansas City, Mo., for information concerning Free Government Homesteads, New Colony Locations, Improved farms, Mineral lands, Rice lands, and Timber lands and for copy of "Current Events" Business Opportunities, Rice book, K. C. S. Fruit Book. Cheap round trip homeseekers tickets on sale first and third Tuesdays of each month. The short line to the "Land of Fulfillment." Too many young men look upon education as a sort of loophole through which to escape work. Talking machines—Victor and Edison are the best; cash or payments $ weekly. Write to-day. JENKINS' MUSIC CO., KANSAS CITY, MO. 30,000 records in stock, mention this paper. There's nothing quite so silly and disgusting to a girl as a young man's love for some other girl. DON'T FORGET A large 2-oz. package Red Cross Ball Blue, only 5 cents. The Russ Company, South Bend, Ind. A woman really thinks her husband is better than she wants him to think she thinks she is. Try me just once and I am sure to come again. Defiance Starch. There should be no objection to a man smoking cigarettes if he is alone and happens to have a grudge against himself. The Question of Trade The great coming question of the East, when the war is over, is the question of trade. May not Japan be expected to unite in opening up commercial development? We want to have a hand in it. We want a voice in the East. And to this end the possession of the Philippines is a mighty handy thing.—Philadelphia Press. "I notice you never wear a watch with your evening clothes." "No, I never have both out at the same time."—Cornell Widow.