The American Citizen

THE AMERICAN CITIZEN. The Oldest Negro Paper devoted to the Race in this Section LIBERAL COMMISSION PAID RELIABLE AGENTS FOR THIS PAPER CALL HERE Men as Actresses. Japan boasts of several brilliant actors, but, strangely enough, she affords no encouragement to actresses. Women's parts are played by men, and played excellently well, too. Japanese boys who are destined for a stage career are brought up entirely by members of the feminine sex. By the time that they are midway in their teens they have acquired all the usual female characteristics. Sultan's Titles. The suitant of Turkey has seventy-one titles and on the parchment containing them are the words "as many more as may be desired can be added to this number." Among the titles are "Abul Hamid, the Eternally Victorious," "the Eternally Smiling," "the Eternally Invincible," "Distributor of Crowns to the Heroes Seated on the Thrones" and "Shadow of God on Earth." Longevity in Europe Of all European countries France is the most favorable to longevity; of every 1,000 persons forty-four reach the age of seventy. In Norway the number is forty, in Sweden thirty three, Italy thirty-one, Switzerland thirty, England twenty-seven, Germany twenty-six, Spain twenty-four, Austria twenty-three, Hungary eighteen. Can't Interfere. "Your daughter plays a great deal of classical music in a rather original way," remarked the man with gold glasses. "Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox, regretfully. "She bought the piano and the music out of her own spending money, and I suppose she feels that she has a right to do what she pleases with them." Deer Swifter Than Electric Car Del Swerter Than Electric Car. A deer was found on the car track at Sturbridge the other day which when startled ran swiftly along the ties ahead of the car. The motorman opened the controller to the last notch, but the animal led the car for a full quarter of a mile and then leaped lightly over the fence and disappeared. Value of Moderate Eating. No matter what kind of food is taken, the quantity should be small. The human body can live and thrive and work on a surprisingly small quantity of nourishment. Great moderation in eating is, therefore, one of the keys that unlock the doors of long living. Greatest Misfortune of Life. Mayors appear to have had their troubles two centuries ago. At bielefeld, Germany, there is a tombstone with this inscription: "Here lies Johannes Burggreve, who considered his election as burgomaster of this city the greatest misfortune of his life." The Day's Length By a simple rule, the length of the day and night, any time of the year, may be ascertained by doubling the time of the sun's rising, which will give the length of the night; and double the time of setting will give the length of the day. Cold Baths vs. Drunkenness In the course of a discussion at the sanitary congress Mr. Weaver declared that it was almost impossible for anyone taking a cold bath every morning to become an habitual drunkard—London Telegraph. Hunt Treasure at Mont Pelee. Treasure hunting has become the principal occupation of the islanders of Martinique. They dig day and night among the ruins caused by the eruptions of Mont Pelee for gold and other valuables. No Dutiful Wife Will Do It. Once when a man loses all love for his wife is when he holds a straight flush against four aces in a little poker game and she has the four aces.—Cincinnati Commercial Gazette Radium Kills Mice Halium Kills Mice. Before the Paris Academy of Sciences, M. Bouchard stated that mice exposed to emanations from radium died in slx hours. Thunder Kills Oysters. Oysters are such nervous creatures that a sudden shock, such as a loud thunder-clap, will kill many hundreds of them. Not So Likely to Happen. If our hearts expanded as readily end as easily as our heads swell, the world would be the gainer. Prof. Rodgers gave quite an interest ing lecture at the A. M. E. church last Tuesday night. The Leavenworth teachers under the guidance of Prof. Wilson. visited the schools of this city, last Friday. Mr. Clark of Wathena was the guest of Mr. H. C. White Sunday. Miss Addie Clark of Pattersburg Mo. is spending some time with her auntie Mrs. C, C. Kelly of 740 Jersey avenue. A musical was glean at the 1st. christain church, 8th and Everett ave. Friday May 12th, quite a large crowd was present, all enjoyed the programe which was rendered with success. For nice rooms, go to 1307 Wyandotte street Mre. G. H. Wells the proprietress will make it pleasant for you. The Lincoln School will have their 8 A commencement at the first Baptist church cor. 5th and Neb. avenues May 23rd. Miss Maud Banks of N. 9th. street will shortly move to Chicagou 11l. to reside permanently- Mr. and M-s. John Blakely of State avenue accompanied Mr. Samuel Taft to Los Angeles Cal. last week to dwell in future. James F. Clark of Denver City, Colo formerly a resident of this city, is spening some time here with his many old friends, and in company with Robert E. Patterson made our office a pleasant call his week. King Solomon Baptist Church at 3rd and State ave is now prospering nicely under the guidance of Rev. H. H. Cordon their able pastor, he holds all things to its place, his congregation is proud of him and feel that in calligraphy him that they have made a wiss selection they raise on an avage of $400 per month Rev. H. H. Gordon is the right man in the right place, go out and hear him Miss Ella Sykes and Mr. Lay Fowler was quietly married on the 29th of April at the residence of the bride parents quite a number of their friends was pre-Rev. J. R. Richardson officiated. The Amerien Citizen extends congratulation to the happy couple, and hope that their union may be one of much happiness through life. They Say. By the way She was only teasing him If some people only knew the truth. Hats, Hats we are making them to da What about the School Marm and the wedding bells. There can be traced some mighty crooked steps—yet he is a man of God. The railroad engineer may not be a society leader, but wealth and fashion frequently follow in his train. Womans success as an engineer is pheno- menal. She frequently has a wash out on the line but no disasters are recorded To the victors belong the privilege of fighting over the spoils. A Ten day meeting. There will be held at 10th and Neb. avenue beginning May 7th a ten days Holiness Tent meeting under the auspices of God's Holy misslou. Invitation extended to all, to come. Song service each evening. Go out and hear. Woman Mountain Climber By far the most expert woman mountaineer in the world is Mrs. Fanny Bullock Workman. In the Himalayas she has climbed to an altitude of 22,568 feet. On the same occasion her husband broke the world's record for men by 311 feet, by climbing 23,194 feet up a mountain 24,479 feet high. Mrs. Workman is of medium height, and there is nothing in her appearance to suggest the strength she has displayed in some of her wonderful feats. Ruse of Courtship. A wise girl always pretends to be a little more daffy than the young man she is planning to face the parson with. Cure as Bad as Disease Onions are recommended as a cure for indigestion, but as yet there has been no cure discovered for onions. KANSAS CITY, KANSAS FRIDAY EVENING, Selects Wife's Toilets It is a common thing in Paris for a man to accompany his wife to the dressmaker's. The young wife who has known no gayer attire than the coming-out gown of the jeesie file needs careful advice as to her toilets, and her husband, if he be a certain type of man of the world, knows how to give it. Japanese Swords Best. The sword makers of Toledo and Damascus have been reputed to be the world's most famous artisans in this industry, but in Japan the swordsmiths turn out weapons whose blades are fully as green and as hard and composed of metal of as fine quality as those of the old swordsmiths. Superstitious Criminals All criminals are great believers in dreams. Some time ago, at Manchester, a daring thief awaiting trial told a warder he had dreamed that he had seen a rainbow. From this he deduced that he would be acquitted at his trial. To everyone's surprise he was. Hunting in Japan. The Japanese, always keen sportsmen, used to take most of their game with goshawks and sparrow hawks. The only dogs they used were spaniels, which flushed the game. But now they are taking to dogs, and many good animals are being imported from England. Liquefies Illuminating Gas. A German chemist named Blau has succeeded in liquefying illuminating gas. In that form it gives a good light, which is useful in country houses, railway trains, etc. It costs more than ordinary coal gas, but less than electric light. One of Life's Tragedies. When a bachelor sees a widow he shakes his head knowingly. When a widow sees a bachelor she shakes her head knowingly. Watching them is a spinster, who also shakes her head knowingly. Feminine Solace: Sorrow finds a fertile field in femininity. Strange, too, are the remedies sought. Many women, overtaken by calamity and grief, find a deep solace in having their photographs taken. Husband of Little Importance Among some of the ancient Mexican tribes the husband left his people and dwelt with his wife's family, where he seems to have been considered of minor importance. Homes in Various Countries Italy and Spain have fewer houses in proportion to their population than any other country in the world. The Argentine republic and Uruguay have the most. Log Cabin Philosophy Spite of all de bright sunshine in dis worl', some mens will go roon' huntin' fer happiness wid a candle.—Frank Stanton in Atlanta Constitution Why. Indeed? "Why," asked Willie, as he sat in the grand stand with his father, "do they call it football when they play with their heads, papa?" Otherwise, the "Big Head" The first time a man is nominated for a back township office he thinks it is up to him to save the country from ruin. Automatic Compass. M. Heit, a French inventor, has recently patented a compass which automatically registers minute by minute. The compass card is fixed on a steel pivot, which rests on a fixed agate, instead of having at its center an agate resting on a fixed steel point. The fixed agate is immersed in a drop of mercury, which serves as a conductor for the electric current that causes the movements of registering. Bank Run by Negroes All the officers and stockholders of a bank in the Creek nation are negroes. English Paupers Costly England's expenditure on paupers is rising at the rate of $1,400,000 a year. If I might breathe your beauty into song. The singing stars wouldarry into flight To hearken, dreaming that death's ancient wrong. Enthroned on earth so long. Was scattered by the everlasting light. And earth new winged with singing and with flame. As when exultant she from out of chaos came. Restaurant At 21 Central avenue Kansas City, Kansas is the place to get quick meals Short Orders 10 cents. Regular meals 15 cents. NEWTON LEWIS PROPRIET. R. GOOD INDEX TO CHARACTER. Habits and Idiosyncracies Betrayed In the Laugh. Anthropologists say that the ability to laugh comes to the child as it grows older. The first smile is observed when the child is about forty to sixty days old, but it does not begin to laugh until some time after that. Children and women laugh more than men, not because the cares of life lie less heavily upon them, but because the the former are more excitable, and because the moderating power of the cerebral hemispheres is less in them than among men generally. Profound study makes men serious, and so foolish people are sometimes noted for laughing immoderately. Yet laughter is not so much an index to intelligence as it is to the condition of health. Healthy, vigorous people are proverbially of good-humored joyous, laughing natures, while the "sallow, gloomy-eyed dyspeptic" is a description scientifically accurate. The envious, wicked and malevolent rarely laugh, because, phrenologixs say, they are impregnated with bile, and are, therefore, morose. The haughty, the vain and the awkward also laugh very little, for fear of losing their dignity. The Spanish people, proverbially grave, are a good example. People who have lines extending downward from the angle at the mouth toward the chin well marked rarely laugh, and, moreover, show a tendency to pensiveness in youth and melancholy in after life. Those who have lines raying outward from the eyes are, on the contrary, people who laugh a good deal, especially when the upper lip is framed by two deep furrows running down in the mouth. OLD LADY WAS PRACTICAL. Looked for Serviceable Quality in a Present. A very practical old lady from the country was visiting her daughter in the city not long ago, and her young granddaughter was taking her through one of the big department stores on a little shopping tour. "Now," said the old lady to the salesman, "show me some dishes; I want to buy a set." Up in the china department the clerks had shown a number of dainty, pretty designs, which the old lady had admired, but still seemed to be looking for something else. "This pale green and gold tinted one is pretty, grandma," suggested the young girl, "why not get it?" "Well, you see," answered the practical grandmother, "your Aunt Jinnie is a-goin' to be married in the fall, and I thought I would get her a good serviceable present while I was up here. A black and white flowered set of china is what I want, if I could find it. Black and white is such serviceable colors, you know, dear; it don't show dirt."-Lippincott's. The Porch. When father built the veranda, He kicked about the expense, But ma, she said: "Don't mind it, Ed— Don't think of dollars and cents." That autumn Clara was married, It made pa glad as could be, And ma would smile Most all the while, "I'm proud of that porch," said she. Last summer both Belle and Amy Would race for the porch at night, And all the time, Of us thought best To stay indoors, out of sight. But Belle ran faster than Amy— She got her man in July; And all the command That porch to send A bachelor's oath sky high. Last Sunday Amy informed us That she had told Jimmy "yes," And now us three, Pa, ma, and me. Can get on that porch, I guess. -Cleveland Leader. Making Wood Taz. It is curious to notice that wood tar is prepared just as it was in the fourth cury B. C. A bank is chosen and a mole dug, into which the wood is plied, covered with turf. A fire is liged underneath, and the tar slowly trips into the barrels placed to resee it. Shoesoles Right Foot Thick We wear away two inches of shoe leather in a year. A pair of shoes that would "last a lifetime" would, consequently, have to be provided with soles from eight to nine feet thick. Publication Notice. of Wyandotte County, Mary Darkis, Plaintiff, VS. William Darkis Defendant. Notice. The State of Kansas, to William Darkis Greeting, you are hereby notified that you have been sued on the grounds of gross neglect of duty, extreme cruelty; and adultery. In the above entitle cause in the above named Court, Wherein Mary Darkis is Plaintiff, and William darkis is Deendant, and unless you answer on or before the first day of July 1905. Plaintiff petition will be taken as true Judgment will be rendered against you as prayed for. The plaintiff is asking an absolute divorce, custody of two minor children and a reasonable attorney fee. for cost, and for other relief such as the nature of Plaintiff case demands. Mary Darkis. Chas. w. Frye. attorney. First Published April 28th 1905. WYANDOTTE COUNTY, STATE OF KANSAS, Fannie Johnson. Lewis J. Johnson. **DENISE L. JOHNSON GREETING;** We are hereby notified that you have been in the above named District Court of Wyandotte County, Kansas by the above named Plaintiff. Fannie Johnson, whose petition is now on file in the office, and that you must as such defendant, answer the petition filed by the plaintiff on or before Thursday 22nd, day of June 1905, or the petition will be taken as true and judgment will be rendered accordingly against you, and judging you to pay the cost, of said suit and this suit is for the further purpose of devealing the title to certain house and lots owned by you in the town of Quidardo Wyandotte County Kansas and investing the title in the plaintiff as alimony and dissolving the bonds of matrimony now subsisting between the plaintiff and defendant and such other and further relief as the honorable court may adjudge in the premises, as may appear just and equitable in behalf of the plaintiff. Wm. Needles Clerk of the said Court of Wyandotte County Kansas. per D. C. McCambs Deputy. Sleeper's Real Offense. An eccentric minister caused some surprise one Sunday by declaring that he did not in the least object to people sleeping while he was preaching. A few minutes later he and his hearers were disturbed by the loud snoring of a man just below the pulpit. "Give him a tap on the head," said the minister. This was done, ineffectually. "Give him another," came the order again. "Still the man slumbered. But at length by dint of much tapping and shaking, he was recalled into abashed consciousness. "You are making a wretched noise," roared the minister, leaning over the pulpit edge. "I don't mind your sleeping, but you are preventing other people from sleeping!" NOW IS the time to Subscribe For the Weekly American Citizen. PATTERSON & GAYDEN -Dealers In- Hard and Soft Coal, Wood. Vault & Cesspool Cleaning. Gisterns Filled Tel. 215 West. 527 STATE AVE. But Me Has to Wait. Nothing would please the small boy more than the privilege of assuming the role of father to the man occasionally. Japanese Farming. The ingenuity of the farming in Japan may be inferred from the fact that the 45,000,000 inhabitants live almost entirely on the productions of a cultivated area about one-third the size of Illinois. EXECUTORS NOTICE STATE OF KANSAS. WYANDOTTE COUNTY. IN THE PROBATE COURT OF SAID COUNTY. In the matter of the Estate of Mary L. Gordon Deceased. Notice is hereby given that letters testamentary have been granted to the undersigned on the last will and testament of Mary L. Gordon late of said county, deceased, by the Honorable, the Probate Court of the State and County aforesaid. Dated the 21 day of March 1905. Now all persons having claims against said estate are hereby notified that they must present the same to the undersigned for allowance within one year from the date of said letters, or they may be precluded from any benefit of such estate: and that if such claims be not exhibited within three years after the date of said letters, they shall be forever barred. CORVIN PATTerson Executor of the last will and testament of Mary L. Gordon deceased. Dated March 21 1905. First Published 24 1905 NOTICE OF PUBLICATION In the District Court of Wyandotte county State of Kansas. You are hereby notified that the plaintiff in the above entitled cause did on the 22nd day of September, 1904. file her petition in a certain action against you in the District Court in Wyandotte County State of Kansas asking for an absolute divorce on the grounds of abandonment and desolation, and unless youdumor, answer or otherwise object on or before the 30th day of January 1905, the allegations therein will be taken as true and upon further proof thereof judgement will be rendered as prayed for in said petition. JOHNSON and TOOLE. Attys. for Plaintiff. Wm. Needles, Clerk. By D. C. McCombs, Deputy. IN THE PROBAT COURT AND SS FOR SAID COUNY. n the matter of the Estate of Jane Redd Deceased. Notice is hereby given that Letters Testamentary have been granted to the undersigned on the Last Will and Testament of Jane Redd, late of said County, deceased by the Honorable, the Probate Court of the county and State aforesaid, date the 6th day of February A. D. 1905. Now, all persons having claims against the said Estate, are hereby notified that they must pr sent the same to the undersigned for allowance within one year from the date of said Letters, or they may be precluded from any beet of such Estate; and that if such claims be not exhibited within three years after the date of said Letters, they shall be forever barred. I.F. BRADLEY executor of the Last Will and Testament of Jane Redd Deceased. First published Feb. 11th 1905 Notice of Final Settlement State of Kansas County of Wyandotte IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF CLARA WILLIAMS BLEDGE DECEASED Creditors and all other persons interested in the aforesid rent. are hereby notified that at the next regular team of the Prabate Court in and for said County. to be begun and held at the Prabate Court room in Kansas City. County of Wyandotte and State aforesaid on the first Monday in the month of March A. D. 1905. I shall apply to said Court for a full and final settlement of said estate. Peter young Administrator of Clara Williams Sledge Deceased. In Witness Whereof, the undersigned, Probate Judge in and for the county of Wyon dote. State of Kansas, have hereto set my hand, and affixed the seal of the Prabate Court this 20th Day of January A. D. 1906 Winfield Freeman Probate Judge. The World's Wanderers. Tell me, thou star, whose wings of light Bring the earth to the night In what cavern of the night Will thy pinnions close now? Tell me, moon, thou pale and gray Pilgrim of heaven's homeless way, In what depth of night or day Seekest thou repose now? Weary wind, who wanderest Like the world's rejected guest, Hast thou still some secret nest On the tree or pillow? —Percy Byshe Shelton The Glories of a Throne It has been shown that out of a list of 2,550 sovereigns 300 have been overthrown, 134 assassinated, 123 taken prisoners of war, 108 executed, 100 slain in battle, sixty-four forced to abdicate, twenty-eight died by their own hands, twenty-five were tortured to death, while twenty-three became mad or imbecile. This gives a total of 905 whose reigns have ended miserably. First Use of Bayonet. The bayonet was first used by the French in 1671. It was first made in Bayonne, France, and was considered a very deadly weapon. The British army quickly copied it, and other nations promptly followed suit. The Oldest Negro Journal Published Weekly in this part of the Country. at 1510 Norh 3rd Street W. C. Martin Editor, Geo. A. Dudley, Publisher and Business Manager. One Year,.....$1.00 Six Months,.....65 cents Three Months,:.....40. c ne Month,.....15. c Advertiseing 25 cts. Per Inch First Insertion. A Standing Display 'Add' for 3 Months or longer 15c per inch, each insertion. Entered as second class matter December first. 1904 at the Post office at Kansas City, Kansas under the Act of congress of March rd. 1879." Grewsome Collection. A French professor is the owner of a collection of 920 human heads, reprecenting every known race of people. Scarlet for Bachelor Maids. When an unmarried woman dies in Brazil the coffin, hearse and livery of the coachman are all scarlet. Cost of London's Paupers. Every year $4,000,000 is spent on the food and clothing of indoor paupers in London. Here is the Place. J. T. ROBERTS TONSORIAL PARLOR. All the Latest Style Hair Cuts, Clean Shave strictly[Up-to-Date. 438 MINNESOTA AVENUE. Call and see H.S. Sykes and and A. Gooden mauufactor of Pop corn in ball aud brick at 316 Oakland ave A Word To You. The lack of proper appreciation of the efforts of Negro newspapers make in an uphill business to maintain the standard of excellence desired by those in the business. Just why the race is so utterly slack. in giving to their own the proper patronage is one of the unsolved mysteries. Each day and week bring to us the warring of being a unit in behalf of our own salvation. It takes something beside wind to publish the most weakly of weeklies. If every Afro-American family would pledge themselves to stand by an organ builished in their behalf, just one year, the results would be unbelieved we ask the colorad brother to wake up look around and observe, see if you cannot discern that the signs of the times don't speak in thundering tones for a the public advocates of our interests han, why wait do your part by subscripting getting your neighbors to do the same und watch the good results. Notice of Final Settlement. State of Kansas County of Wyandott In the Probate Court in and for said County. In the Matter of the Estate of John R. Smith Deceased. Creditors and all other persons interested in the aforesaid estate, are hereby notified, that at the next regular term of the Probate Court in and for said County, to be begun and held at the Probate Court room in Kansas City, County of Wyandotte and State aforesaid, on the first Monday in month of February, A. D. 1905. I shall apply to said Court for a full and final settlement of said estate. JAMES D. SMITH. Administrator of the Estate John R. Smith, Deceased. In Witness Whereof, the undesigned Probate Judge in and for the County of Wyandotte, State of Kansas, have hereto set my hand, and affixed the seal of the said Probate Court this 24th day of December, A. D. 1904. Winfield Freeman. Probate Judge Res.420 Nebraska ave. Tel.383 White. SOUTH AMERICAN MEDICAL INSTITUTE Office Houro: From 10 A. M., till 4 p. m. and from 6 till 9 P. M., C.H.C. JORDAN- M.M.M.D.. Reaching the creamy one of the committee halted and said: "Sir, I wish to direct your attention to that grave. The man who lies buried there had to be provided with the largest coffin ever made in this city." The honored guest thanked his host not so much for the information as for relieving the strain—Pittsburg Dispatch. TRUTH PROVED BY EXAMFLE. Storekeeper Certainly Lacked the Gift of Energy. William C. Greene, the copper magistrate, was talking to a young man about success. "The secret of success is enterprise, energy," said Col. Greene. "To be lazy, to stick always in the same old rut, that is how to make a wretched failure of your life. "I went West when I was 17, and after a spell of contracting and prospecting about Prescott, I farmed a bit in the San Pedro Valley. There was a storekeeper I used to buy my supplies from at that time who was a failure of the first water. This man's lack of enterprise was so great that people used to bring their children from miles around to study him. He was valuable as a horrible example. "There,' they would say to the youngsters, 'take warning by Manners. He is a failure. He has no enterprise. Don't grow up like him. He resembles a tortoise, doesn't he?" "Poor Manners in his sluggishness lid resemble a tortoise a good deal. I sent a boy in to him one day with a pack mule to get five gallons of molasses. The boy told me afterward that when he entered the store Manners was dozing. The boy coughed and the man awoke and got up. He opened his mouth wide, and stood on tiptoe and stretched out his arms in a vast yawn. Then he said to the boy: "Wotcha want?" "Five gallons of molasses, Mr. Manners,' the boy spoke up, sharp and quick. "Wah-h-h-h-' yawned Manners again. Then as he took up the jug he grumbled: "Ain't there nobody what sells mallasses in this here town but me?" PLEASURE OF EASTERN WOMEN. Their Main Occupation the Diversions of the Toilet. An eastern lady of high degree spends an amount of time over her toilet that would quite astonish the most fashionable society lady. First she has her hair dressed by her maid, who, after anointing the long, silky black locks with a little oil, made from aloe wood or cocoanut, arranges it simply in a long, smooth plait, low on the nape of the neck, and decorated either with gold or jewelled ornaments. Next the bath is prepared as hot as it can be borne, and in this the lady may stay as long as two or three hours. Soaps are not used, but, instead, there are multifarious unguents, secret preparations of the bathing women, which render the skin soft as velvet and delicately perfumed. Oftentimes the face is washed over with milk, into which has been squeezed lemon juice. The hair of the oriental woman is usually beautifully long, soft and glossy, and the way they arrange it is invariably becoming to their soft type of beauty. Perfumes are much indulged in. These are introduced in the bath and permeate the garments, but are rarely used on a handkerchief. The Foam on the Top. Don't snuggle conceit to your bosom, my boy, Because you're on top of the wave, For here is a thought that might serve as alloy To the gold of the credit you crave: The best is not always at surface, my son. And I think, if to notice you'll stop, You'll observe that the good to the bottom may run. But the foam always lingers on top. I would not discourage your zeal, my dear lad; It is best to keep working alway. But this funny old world often labels as bad. The thing that is good in its day. In fact, I may say that it classifies wrong Some part of the great earthy crop. And I think you will note as you jour- ney along. That the foam often gets to the top. We will not mention names if you please, my dear youth. But this funny old world so we And this brief little anthem will stop, if you do not agree with the thing that has been said. A Polite Discharge. James Rankin Young, the new superintendent of the Dead Letter office admires politeness. "It is possible," he said recently, "to be polite always. It is possible to be polite even when discharging a drunken coachman. I know that this is so, for I have seen the thing done. "A friend of mine found himself obliged last week to get rid of his coachman for drunkenness. He summoned the man into his presence, and discharged him with this polite speech: "I fear, Montgomery, that we must part. It has been impossible for me to avoid noticing that several times during the past month you have been—er—sober. Now, I don't believe that any man can attend properly to drinking if he has driving to do, and, therefore, at the month's end you will be free to devote yourself exclusively to your chosen occupation." All Christians. In his article in the Woman's Home Companion, describing the International Sunday School Convention in Jerusalem, Doctor Devins relates the following significant incident: "An unexpected favor was received from the officers of the Russian church on the Mount of Olives. A meeting had been planned to be held near the place of the Ascension. As the leader of the meeting, the writer went to see if it could be held under the trees near the church. "Why not?" was the reply, accompanied by a smile on the saintly face of the speaker. "Why not? Do we not worship the same Christ?" WIT IS NOT APPRECIATED. Glasgow, Scotland, Character Has Fun With Actors A provincial theater in the east of Scotland is being tormented and amused at intervals by a wit among the gallery gods who insists on keeping up a running commentary on the play. He has enlivened many a dull piece by his droll interpolations, but he has also come pretty near ruining many an intensely dramatic or sentimental situation by the sudden and always apropos qualities of his interruptions. He has a high pitched, penetrating voice, and the town police, who have been on the verge of ejecting him a dozen times, say that he was a Glasgow cab driver who retired with a competence and now takes this wily to give play to a wit that was once famous in the great city. On one occasion a dreary melodrama was being presented. The heroine of the play, pursued by the villain, had taken refuge in the house of her lover, who, as the hero of the play, was of course, at variance with his sweetheart's parents. The exigencies of the plot required that the irate father, sword in hand and at the head of his faithful retainers, should track the girl to the gates of the hero's treacherous and disgraceful elopement, enter the room where the scared heroine had been secreted under the table. "Wretch!" cried the furious father, "your life shall answer for this. I demand my child. Where is she." Then, shrill and startling in the expectant silence, from the gallery came the answer: "Unner the table, ye dinged lout! Dinna ye see her slipper stickin' oot?" The house was in a tumult of merriment in a moment, but it was the "angry father" himself, who ruined the situation, for he burst into immoderate laughter and the curtain fell in the middle of the act, to rise again upon an audience that could not repress its risibles for the rest of the evening. HE WANTED A MORTGAGE. Swede's Experience With a Deed Had Taught Him Caution. Halvor Steenerson, Congressman from Minnesota, tells a story of a Swede who went to that state from one of the Dakotas for the purpose of buying a farm. A land agent acted as guide and informant to the Swede, who eventually found what he wanted. When the time came to make out the necessary papers, the agent asked the Swede what method he preferred to adopt in making payments. "Ay pay all. Ay haf da money," replied the Swede. "Very well, then. I'll make out the deed," said the agent. "No!" suddenly exclaimed the Swede. "Ay no want deed!" 'Why, yes, you do!' rejoined the agent, astonished. "You pay the money and you take a deed for the farm." "No, no!" earnestly asseverated the Swede. "Ay no want deed! Ay had deed oop in Dakoty. Ay pay man da money. He gif me deed. Ay gif heem mortgage. Ay tak land. By en by he get land, he get deed, he haf da money. Dees time Ay want no deed; Ay want mortgage. Ay pay da money; you gif me mortgage!"—The Sunday Magazine. Getting Posted. "I would like to ask you a question if you don't mind," said the old man in the street car to the man on his right. "Go ahead, sir." "I should like to know the meaning of the term 'History repeats itself.' I come across it most every day. How does history repeat itself?" "That's easily answered," said the other. "For instance, if you should ask me what I thought of the weather I should tell you to go and be hanged to you. If we should meet a month, hence and you asked me the same question over again my reply would be the same." "I think I see—I think I do," mused the old man, as he leaned back and crossed his feet. "Yes, I guess I understand, and I want to tell you that you are a durned mean jackass of a man and that history is going to repeat itself every blamed time I run across you for the next ten years to come."—Chicago News. A Gentle Thrust James Jeffrey Roche, the new Consul to Genoa, was talking about a magazine editor. "This man," he said, "rejected some of the best of my early verse. He rejected some of the best verse of my friends. Why he is an editor I can't imagine. He certainly has no critical sense. "I indicated this to him one day. He had announced to me that he was going to get married. He had praised the lady of his choice ardently, declaring her to be a poem. "‘A poem,’" said I. "‘A poem,’" he repeated. "And still you do not reject her?’ exclaimed." Winter Soft as the plumes of sleep drifts down The pure white silence of the snow The bells make merry in the town, Where happy faces come and go. The brooding quiet of the trees, Is broken sweet, in yonder glen, By "day, day day," of chickadees And keen, sweet song of winter wren. Of glowing days some magic word Is warbled when the grosbeaks sing; And in the moaning pines is heard The whisper of returning spring This is the birthday of the year, Now far off summer's battles start; And lo; the very cold grows dear, The wildest storm wind warms the Telephone Bell W. 32. Telephone Home W. 32 W. B, Raymond FUNERAL DIRECTOR. And, Embalmer The Very Best of Service, Fine Carriages For All Purpose. At All Hours. The Best Equipped White Enameled Ambulance For Sick and wounded On Short Notice. Charges Reasonable Call At 431 Minnesota, Ave. Kansas City, Kansas. Notice. Nice Furrished ROOMS AND BOARD AT At $3.25 per week At the Corner of second and Deleware streets in Armourdale Kansas. And in a good location convenint to street car service. You will get best of treatment. MRS. E, L, SMITH PROPRIETRESS, KANSAS CITY SOAP CO. Are Manufactors of the Best Grades of Toilet & Washing,Soaps. A Home Institution. One trial of their brand the Snowflake and Union will convince you of their merits. RESTAURANT 1s the best place in the city and will serve you from 5,30 a,m, to II p. m, every thing is cooked to taste, Mrs. Thatcher the prop, is one of the best cooks in the city and will please you, give her a call. Money to Loan on Watches. Diamonds Jewelry. CLOTHING AND EVERYTHING Unclaim Pledges For Sale Cheap. FINE WATCHES AND JEWELRY REPAIRING. 427 Minnesota ave. kansas city. kans. Ladies suits, dressing sacques, aprons and in fact anything in the Dressmaking line MADE TO ORDER and sold on weekly and m few prices: Belt dresses $1. 50cts and up. Call and see Mrs W. F. in weekly and monthly payments. Belt dresses $1.00 and up; dressing up. Call and see me. rs W. F. Williams Third St. Kansas C and sold on weekly and monthly payments. Here is a few prices: Belt dresses $1.00 and up; dressing sacques 50cts and up. Call and see me. Mrs W. F. Williams. The Indian rhinoceros is nearly extinct. There are two specimens in the London zoological gardens and two on the European continent. Very few are left in a wild state in India and Assam, and unless special measures be taken for their preservation they will soon disappear. monthly payments. Here is a 00 and up; dressing sacques me. Williams, Kansas City, Kansas MME. L, F. JOHNSON, Shampooing, Manicuring, Massage and Scalp Treatment. Tel.733 W. A SPECIALT The telegraph line from Vienna to Cernowitz is the longest line in Europe which uses the duplex system, being 630 miles long. The system was adopted a few months ago, as it was found necessary to increase the capacity of the line, which takes all the matter for Roumania, southeastern Russia and a part of Bulgaria. The system works well at present, although the line is constructed of iron wire instead of copper. Good Luck for Turtles at Least. The Chinese have'a peculiar custom with regard to turtles, which they consider as very good joss. Almost any day one can see these creatures, some of them of huge size, being carried on board the river steamers, not to be taken to Canton for culinary purposes, but to be dumped into the sea and restored to liberty and freedom. Good luck is thought to follow.—Hong Kong Press. Good to Lick Baby With Later On. I saw lately a dainty and original gift for a young mother. It was called "a measuring stick for baby," made of white wood thirty-six inches long, and marked off into inches as accurately as a tape measure. Forgetmenots were paited down the side, and at one end w... a hole in which was a ribbon bow and loop by which to suspend it. Good Housekeeping. Moisture in Tobacco The presence of moisture in tobacco is, the Lancet believes, of some importance to public health, since the combustion of tobacco containing a large proportion of moisture is impeded, while as the g eration of vapor is increased, so ar eie chances of the poisonous principi e being carried into the mouth diminished. Early Japanese University It will surprise most readers to learn from a recent Japanese writer that there was a university in Japan in the eighth century, with schools of ethics, mathematics and history, and that text books were employed dealing with such specialties as the diseases of women, veterinary surgery, and materia medica. Casting a Gloom. "Yes, for local talent, it was a first rate entertainment," said the suburban resident, "and we made several hundred dollars for the hospital fund, but there was one little hitch. The town undertaker was down for a tenor solo, and he insisted on singing 'I'm Waiting for Thee.'"—New York Sun. Consider Dreams Revelations. Among the people of the east dream is considered to be a direct revelation from God, and there are in the Orient, even to-day, soothsayers, or fortune tellers, who interpret dreams, just as the soothsayers did in bible times, and from dreams tell the future of the dreamer. Cancer Victims Well to Do Statistics show that cancer is more common among those who are accustomed to the refinements of life than among the very poor, and to care for such patients the doctors say that good surroundings are a necessity. Snakes in India About 400,000 snakes are killed every year in British India. The fees paid as rewards annually for the destruction of beasts of prey and venomous snakes by the government of India amount to about $125,000. German Colony in Palestine. Thirty-four years ago a German colony settled at Haifa, Palestine. To day all of the ninety families in it are prosperous. They raise grape and make wine free from alcohol which is sold to the natives. Irish Ledger in Court A leger kept in the Irish language was produced at the Roscommon Abbizes, in Ireland, and the witness had to go on the bench to translate the terms for the judge. Gravity. An observing schoolboy wrote this short essay: "Gravity was discovered by Izaak Walton. It is chiefly noticeable when the apples are falling from the trees." Novices Leave Convent Stealing the front door key from the pocket of the mother superior, three young novices escaped from the current of Santa Clara in Lisbon and disappeared. Dogs May Ride in Berlin. Dogs are allowed to enter tramway cars in Berlin, but must be held in their master's laps and paid for as if they were human passengers. Credit Is a Necessity As trade now stands, there is not enough gold out of the earth, if it were all coined, to transact the business of a day. Nationalities Among Russians. The Russian population represents 110 nationalities, the three great stock being Finns, Tartans and Slavs. Aluminum for Sharpening Cutlery. Aluminum is superior to any stone for sharpening cutlery. Denmark's Honey Exports. Denmark exports 2,500,000 pounds of honey a year. WOMAN NEEDS 9 relief and cure of the many del- For eatriate ‘and obstinate ailments War to her sex, @ remedy carefully Rejsed_and ulapied to her delicate nization by @M experienced anc fied physician. | Sach a remedy i Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription. ‘The treatment of many thousands of those chronic Weaknesses and distress- fog ailments peculiar to females, at the Jnvalids’ Hotel and Sargical Institute, Jiifalo, N. Y., has afforded a vast. ex: renee in nicely adapting and thor- Prrhly testing remedies for the cure of oman’s peculiar maladies. ‘Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is the outgrowth, or result, of this great fad valuable experience. Thousands te estinuonials received from patients Gnd from physicians who have tested it fh the more aggravated and obstinate cases which had baffled their skill, prove it to be a superior remedy for the Piiei and cure of suffering women. Tt js not recommended as a “cure-all,” }ut as a most perfect specific for wom- fan's peculiar ailments. ‘As a powerful invigorating tonic, it fiparts strength to the whole system ‘and to the womb and its appendages in particular. For over-worked, ‘ worn- oat,” debilitated teachers, milliners, Gresmakers, Seamstresses, “shor gis,””_ house-keepers, pursing, moth- fs, and feeble women generally, “ Fa- forte Preseription’? is the greatest earthly boon, being unequaled as an gppetizing cordial and restorative tonic. "hs a soothing and strengthening nervine, ‘Favorite Prescription” is naequaled and is invaluable in allaying and subduing nervous excitability, irri- tability, nervous exhaustion, nervons prostration, neuralgia, hysteria, spasms, chorea, or St. Vitus's dance, aoe other distressing, nervous symptoms com- monly attendant upon functional and organic disease of the womb. It in- duces refreshing sleep and _ relieves ‘mental anxiety and deapondency. Alabastine .sssnns, ‘ Your et Walls i Typhoid Fever, Diphtheria, | } Small Pox — the germs of’ § J these deadly diseases multi- ! { ply in the decaying glue pres- | { cat in all kalsomines, and the | 1 decaying paste under wall ' 1 paper. ‘ } Atasascine is a disinfectant; it | 1 destroys disease germs and vermin; 1 is manufactured fromastonecement 1 : base, hardens on the walls, andisas § 1 coduring as the wall itself. Acasas- | 4 te is Mixed with cold water, and 4 ' any one gan apply it. ‘ 4 Ask for sample card of | 1 beautiful tints and informa- | | Sonabout decorating, Take | 4 x0 cheap substitute. r {Beyofiyins pound packages | sroperly labeled, ! ' ! ALABASTINE COMPANY | 1 Grant Ave, Grand Rapids, Mich, 4 consiee te OR GSE eee PAY TUITION AFTER POSITION IS SECURED | DRAUGHON’S MACTICAL BUSINESS COLLEGE ‘Kansas City, Ft, Scott, St. Louis, Ft. Smith, Eicrs Oe ae oe RYE Sra i MAIL COURSE FREE. mao i FREE unt scaly. which wil save Sit rl setuid at pot Estat EUR Gees in. Ths fen. Clip aod seus ein eee eae net sn Zr LN "9 PS Fetinn SOMERS Pent ey emer rey OLE ah RECEIVED THE HIGHEST POSSIBLE AWARD ATTILE ST.LOUIS WORLD'S PAIR, Seid us the names of dealers in your town who do not sell our feds, ond we will send you a {llestion of pictures. in colors. of fnous towers of the world. ss Ag. AG:TOWER CO, ESTABLISHED 1886, Bee <AAS1AN CO. Lantet, TORONTO CAN. — Pm § CLEAR, HEALTHY SKIN b Saudoln’s Fevema nd. Shin. Remedy sively curte Resema, Pimples, votlout Insect ites aad sit ae: Sc te akin, Am abeotat care Bren Dana ea ean DenriESs! SOORLE Wetemodar meu. S4NDEOLM DRUG 00, Dea Moines, Te, PENSION xupmazours sre ur seadeniee Sapa eee Soe alli ie ae [EWIS’SINGLE aiscaY BINDER FESS Cet vara, eB 1000 Newapopersn tnternational Type-High Plates ‘ABoR-savine LENGTHS, Western Newspaper Union, Koneas Gntye mes Caen rs teas Pa CU MISIE A SE Ta Bd Bee tine BI CONSUMPTION # A Prospective mother cannot begin too early to look after her own health and’ physical ‘condition. ‘This is eure to be reflected in the baby. Any weak- hess or nervous depression, or lack of vigor on the mother’s part’ should be gxercome early during. the expectant time by the use of Dr. Pierce’s Favorite Prescription, which promotes the per- fect health and strength of the organ- ism specially concerned in motherhood. It makes the coming of baby abso- lutely safe and comparatively free from pain; renders the mother strong and cheerful, and transmits healthy consti- tational Vigor to the child. DRR % pe Buffalo, N. ¥.: ae Dear Str—Some eight sears the bireh of our fest baby. Twas left ine wens Fun-down condition ana ie seemed my uerres ‘wero badly unstrung. Did not sulfer much Dain, but bellove T suffered everything that anyone could suffer with nervousness. Life was misery tome. T doctored with g008 inysician several years but obtained no ne= flet “Phen T took almost. alt kanes of patent apgiictnes and aimogt ait tne 1d Faas came around. Tgot no relief, bat erew worse all the time, “Finally Chanéed ve ect hold of ono of ycur pamphets and thought would write to you. Iwas in fear that you would write that there could be no cure: bate Great was my’ joy. when I received “your Snswor that 1 could be cured. Took one bot tle-ot Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription, two of “Golden Medical Discovery" and four vials ot Dr Plereo's Pleasant Pellets. I am never without ‘these little “Pellets in the house, Tam also cured of those terrible headaches. vould edrize all eugjrers to go to Doctor Pioreo of Buffalo, N.Y, for relief. 1 dont Uninke they: will be disappointed. Tao not ‘Know how 10 thank’ you tough for all the good your medicine has done for me. Mrs. B, HusGEte G8 Windsor Avenue. Elmne KY, All women should read Dr. Pierce's thousand-page illustrated book, ‘The People’s Common Sense Medical Ad- viser.” It contains more clear and comprehensive advice on medical sub- jects than any other book ever pub- fished. 4 paper-bound eopy sent dees for twenty-one one-cent stampe to pay the cost of mailing only. Or cloth bound for thirty-one stamps. Of course a man deliberately lies while a woman merely suppresses the truth, Defiance Starch is put up 16 ounces in a package, 10 cents. One-third more starch for the same money. Lettuice and radish seed can go into the ground as soon as the surface can be scratched. Do Your Clothes Look Yellow? Then use Defiance Starch, it. wil keep them white—16 oz. for 10 cents. Circumstantial Evidence. Senator Proctor, of Vermont, accom | panied by Mrs. Proctor and a party of some fourteen persons, was making a tour of the West. A stop was made at Salt Lake City, and the party start ed out for a walk about the city. Sen ator Proctor and his wife headed the procession, and the ladies of the party brought up the rear, going in pairs That very same day another party of Easterners was making the rounds of Salt Lake City, and when they encoun: tered the Proctor party in the main street they stood aside to let them pass. “Well, well!” exclaimed one of the second party, “there’s a sight! Look at that old Mormon and his wives. Out for a constitutional, I sup- pose. I wonder,” he added, “if he has any more.” Sounded Familiar to Him. ‘The Guatemalan minister attended @ reception in Washington recently. As he was leaving he said to the negrc whé called the carriages: “Call the carriage of the Guatemalan minister —you understand: the Guatemalan minister.” “Yes, sir; understand per. fectly, sir,” he replied, and then shouted at the top of his lungs: “The carriage for the watermelon minister!” Mnigk Wikaa Ge Ulan His Washerwoman’s Son (re a miss ing shirt): “Please, sir, mum sez dad’s bin ‘risted fer drunk 'n disor. derly 'n hittin’ a pleeceman, an’ if you want yer shirt you'll have to bail it out.” COFFEE HEART Very Plain in Some People. A great many people go on suffer ing from annoying ailments for a long time before they.can get their own consent to give up the indulgence from which their trouble arises. A gentleman in Brooklyn describes his experience as follows: “I became satisfied some’ months ago that I owed the palpitation of the heart, from which I suffered almost daily, to the use of coffee (I had been a coffee drinker for 30 years), but I found it very hard to give up the bev- erage. “I realized that I must give up the harmful indulgence in, coffee but I felt the necessity for a hot table drink, and as tea is not to my liking, I was at a loss for awhile what to do. “One day I ran across a very sen- sible and straightforward presenta- tion of the claims of Postum Food Coffee, and was so impressed thereby that I concluded to give it a trial. My experience with it was unsatisfactory till I learned how it ought to be pre- pared—by thorough boiling for not less than 15 or 20 minutes. After I learned that lesson there was no trouble, Postum Food Coffee proved to be a most palatable and satisfac- tory hot beverage, and I have used it ever since. “The effect on my health has been most salutary. It has completely cured the heart palpitation from which I used to suffer so much, particularly after breakfast, and I never have a re- turn of it except when I dine or lunch away from home and am compelled to drink the old kind of coffee because Postum is not served. I find that Pos- tum Food Coffee cheers and invigor- ates while it produces no harmful stimulation.” Name given by Postum Co,, Battle Creek, Mich. ‘There's a reason. ‘Ten days’ trial proves an eye open- er to many. \ Read the little book, “The Road to Wellville” in every pkg. GIVEN HONOR BY SWEDEN. Charles A. Smith of Minneapolis Re- Gcives Prized Decoration. Charles A. Smith of Minneapolis, President of the C. A. Smith Timber company, has been ereated a com: mander of the first degree in the Or. der of the Vasa by King Oscar of Sweden. This honor is said to be the most exalted favor in the power of the Swedish government to confer on a foreign citizen, and Mr. Smith is the first American to receive it. The decoration came as a public recogni- ye. pe “A LW (ie J) | it ff] | IR . s | x “J | GiB fi p a ‘I } Gon of Mr. Smith's philanthropic work among the Swedes in this country and in Sweden. His benefactions to edu- cational, religious and charitable in- stitutions have been liberal and sub- stantial. Mr. Smith is a self-made man, He was ,born in Sweden, the son of a soldier, and went to Minneap- olis with his parents as a boy of 14 in 1867. The Order of the Vasa was founded by the great Gustavus Vasa of Sweden nearly 400 years ago and is one of the most ancient orders in Europe. To be created a commander entitles the bearer to special privi leges at the Swedish court. Patholigical View of Bribery. Gov. Garvin of Rhode Island has not much confidence in the deterrent effect of laws against corrupt prac- tices, because in the present degrada- tion of public sentiment on the sub- Ject such laws are easily evaded, as are laws regarding taxation of per- sonal property. The laws of our States against corrupt practices are not enforced as similar laws are in Great Britain. Being a physician, he gives what we may call a pathological view of the disease of bribery: “The underlying cause of bribery in elec- tions is that the yote is worth very much less to its rightful owner than it is to the candidate. Now, if this condition could be reversed, so that the possessor of the ballot should esteem it almost priceless, and the candidate find that to him a purchas- ed vote was of little use, then bribery would cease.”—Boston Herald. No Good Cause for Envy. Let not the plodding citizen whe goes to his trade or profession every day and to church once on Sunday and takes a walk into the green fields Sunday afternoon, getting enough money to keep himself and family fairly well fed, housed and clothed and able to keep the children well- enough dressed to go to school, go into the “blues” every time he reads about a big operator making $1,000,000 or so at a single turn of the market, Beloved brother, not all of these stor. ies are true. Perhaps a large majori- ty of them are fictitious. Operating in Wall street causes much loss of sleep and denies a great many men the serenity and contentment of wholesome old age. And then the time is so short—Cincinnati Enquirer DR. WASHINGTON GLADDEN. SY if RG \ ij id é <\ IN AH \\\ UN S39 RSS b AY ZS) NY 09) AAW Satie Ce? \W jx ANY \\\ NT, ae AW (Aad \\y SB ‘(@ Hy) 0 AN As eee Vn 7 ff\\\%\\ NA AS VELDCTW CAMEN, DD The Rev. Dr. Washington Gladden, moderator of the National Congrega- tional council is the ecclesiastic who has become famous the world over because of his refusal to concur in the acceptance of $100,000 from John D. Rockefeller on the ground that it was “tainted money.” Etiquette for Monarchs. At a recent state banquet in Naples the king of Italy, in toasting the kaiser, spoke in Italian, while the em- peror replied in German. There is an etiquette in tHe use of language on such! occasions which Bismarck may be said to have introduced after the French war—an etiquette which al- ways guides the foreign office at Ber. lin in its correspondence with mem- bers of diplomatic corps. Had the king used French, a neutral tongue, the kaiser would also have responded in the same language, but as the king spoke in his native speech the emper or had to stand upon his digaity and do the same. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye. One 10¢ ‘colors silk, woo! and cotton olor more goods brighter and faster colors than any other dye, One 0c package colors silk, wool and cotton A Little Doubtfut, Neighbor—t hear your husband is 8 author. and writes fer a livin’. New Arriyal—Yes. “Does the noise of my children dis- turb him?” “I think not, He hasn't said’ any- thiag about it. ““Wihere does he do his writing?” “At his sister's, two miles away. I don’t think he can hear them there.” Sure He Would Whistle. She (with an arm around his neck) —It makes you happy to know that 1 am pleased, doesn’t it, dear? He—Why, yes. “And you are happy when you whis- tle, aren't you, dear?” “Why, of course.” “Well, love, I know you are going to whistle when you see this millinery bill—Yonkers Statesman, She Knew One of 'Em. Cassell’s—“I have never met,” he said, casually, “more than two really lovely women.” “Ah!” she said, in- A woman will say “there's no use talking” and keep right on. Watch for It. It will pay you to watch for the very first symptom of indigestion or liver trouble and to prevent the trou- ble from gaining headway, by quickly taking Dr. Caldwell’s (laxative) Syrup Pepsin. Nothing is more weakening to the system than chronic dyspepsia. and all its complications, Nothing will cure it so quickly, pleasantly and surely as Syrup Pepsin, Sold by all druggists at 50c and $1.uv. Money back if it f-""~ You will never know how small some great men are unless you have occa. sion to go to them for a favor. The Best Results in Starching flance so etained only by using Dé fiance Starch, besides getting “4 ‘oo. more for same money—no cooking re. quired. Weeping over your weeds only wat- ers them, Much valuable information free about band instruments; write for the new catar loge to-day. JENKINS’ MUSIC HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, MO. As the wise man knows he is a fool, he is miserable; the fool imagies| he is wise and is happy. $f, guaranteed interest semi-annually onal investments, in tropical plantation halt as largeas Rhode Island 40 profitable products, Active managers and agents wanted, 1. Moore, 211 Odd Fellows’ Bldg.,St.Louis, Mo. Political clubs are chiefly used to Put opposing candidates out of busi- ness, Whew Vou Suv Macca buy Defi - the best for a0 conta, Onco‘used alway Mood It’s an easy matter for a stingy man to get rich, but what good does it do him? ‘Write to S. G. Warner, G. P. and T. A., Kansas City Southern Ry., Kansas. City, Mo., for information concerning Free Government Homesteads, New Colony Locations, Improved farms, Mineral lands, Rice lands, and Timber lands and for copy of “Current Events” Business Opportunities, Rice book, K. C. S. Fruit Book. Cheap round trip homeseekers tickets on sale first and third Tuesdays of each month, The short line to the “Land of Fulfillment.” It keeps a married man pretty busy diving in and shelling out, For Rent or Sale, Two Ranches of 3,000 Acres Each. Located in Custer county on South Loup river; consists of 500 acres good corn land, 60 alfalfa, 320 meadow and the balance in pasture; good improve- ments. Inquire of Victor H. Coffman, Omaha, Neb. A political ring has a beginning, but, like any other ring, it seems to have no end. Try One Packane If “Defiance Starch” does not please you, return it to your dealer. “It It does you get one-third more for the game money. It will give you satis- faction, and will not stick to the iron, It is thought that Adam and Eve may have visited the tree of knowl- edge for the purpose of studying the sicher branéhos: “Hoosier School Shoes Are made of heavy Kid, Box Calf or Mule Skin. Extra heavy un- bleached drills are used for linings, and vamps are double lined. Counters, innersoles and outersoles are made of the best solid sole leather. Heavy eyelets are used and three rows of stitching on vamps. Bot- toms are sewed with heavy Irish flax thread) This means that “Hoosier School Shoes” are made honestly. That they are made to look right, to feel right and to wear. The price islow. Ask your dealer to show them to you. He ean if he will. These shoes have ‘become so popular that they are now raade in women's sizes. Tappan Shoe Mfg. Co. Coldwater, Michigan W.N.U., KANSAS CITY, NO 19, 4905. A JUDGE’S WIFE = + & Even the best housekeepers cannot make a good eup of Arey Sea REA Dirty, adulterated and queerly blended coffee such as unscrupulous dealere shovel over their counters won't do. But take the pure, clean, natural flavored LION COFFEE, the teader of all package coffees— the coffee that for over a quarter of a century has been daily welcomed in millions of homes—and you will make a drink fit | for a king in this way: HOW TO MAKE GOOD COFFEE. ‘Use LION COFRER, becanse to get best resalts you must use the best coffea. extra forthe pot" Hirst mix it with mitts cold water, nove to tae ® tek paste and Sal wite of Ra cug (ego to bo need us ster) then fellow one of tho fetowtag Saluns ist. WITH BOILING WATER. Add boiling water, and let it boll THREE MINUTES ONLY. Add a little cold water and set aside five mingtes to settle. Serve promptly: ‘2d. WITH COLD. WA’ jd vour cold water to the paste and bring it toa boll. ‘Then set aside, aad a little cold water, and in five minutes it's ready to serve. 3 {Ron’t boll it too long. {Bent Jet it stand more than ten minutes before serving. Donr’s (Don't use water that has been boiled before. ‘TWO WAYS TO SETTLE COFFEE. conte Bim Ute Par of the whito of an epg, mizing itwith the grovad LION 24. With Cold Water instead of exes. After bolling add a dash of cold water, and set aside for ght oF ten mnnutes, ten serve through a strainer. Insist on getting a package of genuine LION COFFEE, prepare it according to this recipe and you will only use LION COFFEE in future. (Sold only in 1 Ib. sealed packages.) (Lion-bead on every package.) (ave these Lion-heads for valuable premiums.) SOLD BY GROCERS EVERYWHERE WOOLSON SPICE ©0., Toledo, Ohio. W. L. DOUGLAS Mion FOR moe $3.50 & $3.00 SHOES in. W; F, Douglas 82.50 shoce are the greatest sellers in the Flor wearing gualitics. Aha ave Just aa good nethose tise {ont from 5.00 to 87-00. ‘Lhe only difference ta the prices shipebetien mene lnceter ded mtceferonior vutunteas mee Sites SE atocanthemarced Geang. Wei. Bougins gate Anices thelr vaiue by, stamping hig wame and price of the Bottom ofench shoe, Look fort, Paice auinticute, Wels epteie lec at aatbraecaetac ete a ens ice Where youlive, Wels Bougiaashoes are witha your touch BETTER THAN OTHER MAKES AT ANY PRICE. “For the last three years Thave corn Wal, Douglas ti thos and found état anh as opt better thaw any Shoe that eect hens reget of press Chas, de Farrell, Ast. Cashier Phe Capital National Banks Infianaponec Tad, Boys wear W. L. Douglas $2.50 and $2.00 shoes because they fit better, hold their ehape, and wear longer than other makes. W.L.DOUGLAS $4.00 SHOES CANNOT BE EQUALLED ATANY PRICE, Gals conatdered (be the Anest patent athe prlesee, FAST COLOR EYELETS WILLNOT WEAR DIASSY W. J Dongiae hag the largest shoe mall order tiinese ht the ora, Be asia eh rae ‘Carn prepans ver toa eas farther information, write for Muatrared Cuttioges Of Spnise: siotes W.L.DOUCLAS, BROCKTON, MASSACHUSETTS Sl iP Wie Basket Ta . ‘ We | PATRIOT — Mayrlowen SS PO Mee ete is a an ‘These Shoes were Awarded 1 A BD Grand Prize at St. Louis World’s Fair hy VAN se, Te, RATRIOT SHOR for ten is made from all leathers, Ci; hei Seat wot wick mean eh Sie 0h Cees BY) YO [J covittate" there ate SMALE LOWE SHON Tor “wosea f write us direst. They will please, Vexgea ete nen NO | IS a ee sue Per pair in prices usually charged for shoes of , SN a a a A ROBERTS JOHNSON SRAND SHOE Co. ® | ASSN eS ) CE 2a ee ee LE ES ZZ Es | Zz BZA aS Bae = : MRS. MINNIE ni garens Mrs. Carrie King, Darlington, Mo., writes: “I have suffered for years with biliousness, gad kidney and liver trouble. - “lf | caught a little cold, the pains were increased and backache and headache were of frequent occurrence. “Tlowever, Peruna cured me—twelve bottles made me a healthy woman.” ‘2 $0 $40 Sicnohsatt ais Clark, Kimball, Chicago Cottage sigh vaca, fonranteed like new? special deserfpiisas nod Briees for the asking. Write today JENKINS’ MUSIC HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, M0. ___ When writing mention this papes. HIGH GRADE TELEPHONES For long dlatance and ei- change service Conmiete: | ton material and eupyiton | FARMERS’ LINES A. SPECIALTY. Catalogue and Tetracton Beck Frew. Central Telephone & Electric Co, 2135 Loons Ave, St Louis, U. 8 | ther colors and cata Wit or ren sostigssam ts Uses Blesch and a Go ie i BA ile a ai Quickly Cured by a Short Course of Pe-ru-na. MES. MINNIE E. McALLISTER, wife of Judge McAllister, writes from 1217 West 3ard street, Minneap- olis, Minn.,as follows: “I suffered for years with a pain in the small of my back and right side. It intertered often with my domestic aad social duties and I never supposed that I would be cured, as the doctor’s medi- cine did not seem to help me any. “Fortunately a member of our Order advisen me to try Peruna and gave it such high praise that I decided to try it. Although I started in with little faith, I felt so much better in a weeks that I felt encouraged. “I took it faithfully for seven weeks and am happy indeed to be able to say that I am entirely cured. Words fail toexpress my gratitude. Pegtect health once more is the best thing I could wish for, and thanks to Peruna, I enjoy that now.” Pain in the back, or on the right side. How often a physician hears this complaint! Over and over we hear women say: “Thave a paid in the small of my back. havea pain in my right side, just be- low the ribs.” These symptoms indicate pelvie or abdominal eatarrh. ‘They indicate that the bowels are not acting properly—that the liver is out of order—that the pelvic organs are congested. Pelviceatarrh—that is thename forit, _ Peruna cures pelvic catarrh, when all of these symptoms disappear. ‘The eatarrh may be all in the abdom- inal organs, when it would be properly called abdominal catarrh. At any rate, it is one of those eases of internal catarrh which can be reached only by a course of treatment with Peruna. We have on file thousands of testi- monials similar to the above. It is im- possible here to give our readers more than one or two specimens of the num- ber of grateful and commendatory let- ters Dr. Hartman is constantly receive ing in behalf of his famous catarrh remedy, Peruna. . \ aN im Pam Bees tee Soe PRAISE FOR A FAMOUS MEDICINE Mrs. Willadsen Tells How She Tried Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Just In Time. Mrs. T. C. Willadsen, of Manning, Iowa, writes to Mrs. Pinkham: Dear Mrs. Pinkham:— "I can truly say that you have saved my life, and I cannot express my gratitude to you in words. Mrs T.C.Willadsen "Before I wrote to you, telling you how I felt, I had doctored for over two years steady and spent all of money on medicines besides, but it all failed to help me. My monthly periods had ceased and I suffered much pain, with fainting spells, headache, backache and bearing-down pains, and I was so weak I decided to write you and try Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, and I am so thankful that I did, for after following your instructions, which you sent me free of all charge, my monthly periods started. I am regular and in perfect health. Had it not been for you I would be in my grave to-day. " I sincerely trust that this letter may lead every suffering woman in the country to write you for help as I did." When women are troubled with irregular or painful menstruation, weakness, leucorrhoea, displacement or ulceration of the womb, that bearing-down feeling, inflammation of the ovaries, backache, flatulence, general debility, indigestion and nervous prostration, they should remember there is one tried and true remedy. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound at once removes such troubles. No other female medicine in the world has received stach widespread and unqualified endorsement. Refuse all substitutes. Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick women to write her for advice. She has guided thousands to health. Address, Lynn, Mass. MOST PROFITABLE FARM INVESTMENT. This is what the Cream Separator has proved to be. Twenty years of experience upon the part of hundreds of thousands of users in every country of the world bear witness to the fact. No one disputes it. COOKING There never was a better time to make this all-important farm investment than the present. Butter is unprecedentedly high in price. It is most desirable that none be left go to waste, and that the quality be such as to command top prices. If you have cream to separate you cannot afford to delay this investment a single day. If you haven't the ready cash the machine will earn its cost while you are paying for it. THE DE LAVAL SEPARATOR CO. Randolph & Canal Sts. CHICAGO 74 Cortlandt Street NEW YORK Quite a Family. R. Hinton Perry, the sculptor, is responsible for the following story of the "scrublady" who cares for his studio: "How many children have you, Mrs. O'Flarity?" he asked her one morning. "It's given I have, sir," she replied; "four be the third wife of me second husband, and three be the second wife of me furst." Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy is adapted to both series and all ages. Cure Kidney and Liver complaint, and purify the blood. All drugglets A quiet wedding is often the prelude to a noisy divorce. Ardent lovers don't always make amiable husbands. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. For children teething, softens the gums, reduces inflammation, allays pain, cures wind collo. 25c a bottle. Alas, for the ugly duckling that grows up to be a goose! Piso's Cure cannot be too highly spoken of as a cough cure.-J. W. O'BRIEN, 322 Third Ave. N., Minneapolis, Minn. Jan. 6, 1900. The Master is always with those who seek to minister. Sensible Housekeepers will have Defiance Starch, not alone because they get one-third more for the same money, but also because of superior quality. Life loves best those of her child ren who laugh. FITS permanently cure of the Nitis or nervoseness after injury. Send for FREE $2.00 total nerve Restorer. Send for FREE $2.00 total nerve Restorer. DR. E. H. KLUN, Ltd, 318 Arch Street, Philadelphia, Pa. Shortening the face always lengthens the life. Grit is a quality even more desirable than wit. He was a cynic until one day he met a little child Bests with Ourselves. There is a way of relating ourselves to the incidents of life through which we must pass, so that none of them shall work us injury. There is no power in sorrow, pain, or injustice which can hurt us, unless in some way we fail in our own duty in meeting it. It was a saying of Bernard, "Nothing can work me damage but myself. The harm I sustain I carry about with me, and I never am a real sufferer but by my own faulta." Dr. H. H. Pratt has been appointed a pension examining surgeon at Laclede, Mo. Governor Folk appointed Lafayett M. Hutchison of Warrenton assessor for Warren county. Thomas L. Briggs, a wealthy cattle owner of Indian Territory, dropped dead near Boggy, I. T. Admiral Dewey is said by friends to expect Togo to defeat Rojestvensky in the coming naval battle. Joseph Barett, of Kansas City, Mo. has been appointed to a $1,000 clerkship in the office department. Rural free delivery route has been ordered established June 15 at Weatherford, Custer county, Oklahoma. Bishop Cunningham officiated at the corner stone laying of the new $30,000 Catholic church building in Junction City, Kas. Walter C. Thomas, a traveling salesman for a shirt house of Baltimore, committed suicide Saturday night at El. Reno, Ok., by taking morphine. Nan Patterson refuses a $45,000 engagement to appear in vaudeville, because she says she wants to go home to her mother and be a baby again. There is marked activity in the volcano of Kilouet. The flow of lava is increasing and a rising in the crater gives indications that there may be an overflow. The eruption of Mount Vesuvius is more active. There have been heavy explosions and the quantity of lava emitted produces a magnificent spectacle at night. The executive committee of the Southwest Missouri Poultry association met in Nevada and decided to hold the next annual poultry show in Nevada, December 5 to 9. Herbert W. Bowen, until recently United States minister to Venezuela, is in New York. He refused to talk regarding the controversy arising about affairs in Caracas. Nine Macedonians who recently returned from America were murdered in the village of Seerb because they refused to subscribe to the revolutionary fund while in America. Reports of a mutiny among the military are uncorrect. A number of drunken sailors participated in disorders last week, but order was restored by sailors and the military. The San Francisco board of education has taken a determined stand against the admission of Chinese and Japanese pupils to schools where white children are being educated. A farmer near Wingo, I. T.,was given an exciting ride of sixteen miles after his daughter, who was eloping. The father shot and killed the horse the couple were driving and thus stopped their flight. According to an official communication Vittorio Jaffei, an alleged accomplice of Gaetano Bresci in the assassination of King Humbert, was arrested by the Egyptian police for vagaboundage and ordered expelled. Mayor Dunne's board of inquiry into the teamsters' strike will convene, and the executive expresses confidence in the result. State street department stores plan to resume full deliveries with deputy sheriffs to guard the wagons. Dr. Regnier, of Beaver county, Oklahoma, made a statement that the losses of cattle in the blizzard last winter were 10 per cent. He named one cattleman who sent 4,000 pounds of hides to market from cattle that died in the storm. The name of P. C. Simons, attorney general of Oklahoma, has been chalked on the board as one of the multitude of legal gentlemen who would like to succeed Judge John H. Burford as presiding judge of the First judicial district. A. H. Huston and John H. Cotteral of Guthrie are also counted in the list. Lieutenant Commander William S. Sims of the bureau of navigation at Washington, who was a passenger on board the American Line steamer Philadelphia, which sailed from New York, April 29, arriving at Southampton was thrown to the deck during a gale on May 2 and received a fracture of the collar bone and was otherwise injured. F. A. Wing, United States assayer in Seattle, states from information he has received from Alaska and the Northwest territory this winter that the output in gold from the Northern country this year will total $22,000,000 if not more. From the Klondike alone Mr. Wing predicts an output of from $10,000,000 to $12,000,000, the balance coming from the camps on the American side. The students of the Logan county high school at Guthrie, Oklahoma., are now the "chestiest" in Oklahoma. In the high school athletic contest at Norman several days ago they covered themselves with glory by winning eighteen cups in the different events, making 57 out a possible 126 points. The spoils include a gold cup, the first prize, which becomes the property of the school winning it three years in succession. Eight-Hour Law Applies WASHINGTON. — In an opinion rendered by Attorney General Moody regarding the application of the eighth-hour law to the employees of the Isthmus canal commission on the Isthmus of Panama, the attorney general holds that the law applies to those employees Hoch's Portrait in Oil. TOPEKA.-Edgar Leon, an artist from Chicago, who lived in Kansas City formerly, has been given an order to make an oil portrait of Governor Hoch. Mrs. Pare, wife of C. B. Pare, a prominent resident of Glasgow, Ky, says: "I was suffering from a complication of kidney troubles. Besides a bad back, I had a great deal of trouble with the secretions. which were exceedingly variable, sometimes excessive and at other times scanty. The color was high, and passages were accompanied with a scalding sensation. Doan's Kidney Pills soon regulated the kidney secretions, making their color normal and banished the inflammation which caused the scalding sensation. I can rest well, my back is strong and sound and I feel much better in every way." For sale by all dealers, price 50 cents per box. FOSTER-MILBURN CO., Buffalo, N. Y. Only a soft man finds any pleasure in spreading himself. Talking machines—Victor and Edison are the best; cash or payments, $1 weekly. Write to-day. JENKIN'S MUSIC CO., KANSAS CITY, MO. 30,000 records in stock, Mention this paper. After a young man has called on a girl a dozen times she begins to imagine she can detect a faint odor of orange blossoms in the atmosphere when he is around. Important to Mothers. Examine carefully every bottle of CASTORIA, a safe and sure remedy for infants and children, and see that it In Use For Over 30 Years. The Kind You Have Always Bought. Life is a constant drill for soldiers and bank burglar. Every housekeeper should know that if they will buy Defiance Cold Water Starch for laundry use they will save not only time, because it never sticks to the iron, but because each package contains 16 oz.—one full pound—while all other Cold Water Starches are put up in ¾-pound packages, and the price is the same, 10 cents. Then again because Defiance Starch is free from all injurious chemicals. If your grocery tries to sell you a 12-oz. package it is because he has a stock on hand which he wishes to dispose of before he puts in Defiance. He knows that Defiance Starch has printed on every package in large letters and figures "16 ozs." Demand Defiance and save much time and money and the annoyance of the iron sticking. Defiance never sticks. DECIDING TO PUT OFF DECISION. Each decision to put off decision of itself gives a triumph to the will in its perverse rebellion; and that inevitably strengthens the grip of vicious indulgence. One's conscience will never be so tender again, after he sears it with so hot an iron. There was a brief little answer once made by Alexander the Great, when they asked him how he had conquered the world; he said, "By not delaying." Ore hour there is for that man who is just a little anxious for his soul, in which the way is open; there is no promise of any other. And when these unusual solicitudes, these wistful regrets, these desires, so new, although perhaps so vague, arrive then "the Master is come, and calleth for thee." If you put him away, then wilfulness wins a victory and all the good in you is demoralized. Sin at once rushes in violently and this time becomes heavily intrenched b hind new barricades and grows more defiant.—Baptist Commonwealth. Oakley, Mich., May 8th.—(Special) "I could not sleep or rest in any place," says Florence Capen of this place in a recent interview, "I had a pain in my back and hips. If I sat down I could not get up out of my chair. I was in pain all the time. I got poor for I did not eat enough to keep a small child. I could not rest nights. "Then I sent for a box of Dodd's Kidney Pills and went: to taking them and what do you think, that very night I went to bed and I slept till morning. I got up and thanked God for the night's rest and Dodd's Kidney Pills. I know that Dodd's Kidney Pills are all that is claimed for them." This is only one of the numerous experiences that show the way to build up run down people is to cure the kidneys. Thousands of people in every state bear witness to the fact that Dodd's Kidney Pills never fall to cure the kidneys. Nearly every man you meet knows a sure remedy for a cold, but he never tries it on himself. Paper Hanger—We'll have to paper right over the old paper. We can't get this paper off without taking the plaster along with it. Owner (modern cottage)—Because the paper sticks to the plaster? Paper Hanger—No, because the plaster sticks to the paper. When people who are not acquainted begin to gossip, they act like a boy on this ice. NO MORE HEADACHE GENERAL WEAKNESS AND FEVER DISAPPEAR TOO. How a Woman Was Freed from Troubles That Had Made Life Wretched for Many Years. The immediate causes of headaches vary, but most of them come from poor or poisoned blood. In anemia the blood is scanty or thin; the nerves are imperfectly nourished and pain is the way in which they express their weakness. In colds the blood absorbs poison from the mucous surfaces, and the poison irritates the nerves and produces pain. In rheumatism, malaria and the grip, the poison in the blood produces like discomfort. In 'indigestion the gases from the impure matter kept in the system affect the blood in the same way. The ordinary headache-cures at best give only temporary relief. They deaden the pain but do not drive the poison out of the blood. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills on the contrary thoroughly renew the blood and the pain disappears permanently. Women in particular have found these pills an unfailing relief in headaches caused by anemia. Miss Stella Blocker recently said: "Dr. Williams' Pink Pills did me a great deal of good. I had headache nearly all the time. After I had taken three boxes of these pills I became entirely well." "How long had you suffered?" she was asked. "For several years. I can't tell the exact date when my illness began for it came on by slow degrees. I had been going down hill for many years." "Did you have any other ailments?" "I was very weak and sometimes I had fever. My liver and kidneys were affected as well as my head." "How did you come to take the remedy that cured you?" "I saw in a southern newspaper a statement of some person who was cured of a like trouble by Dr. Williams' Pink Pills. My physician hadn't done me any good, so I bought a box of these pills. After I had taken one box I felt so much better that I kept on until I became entirely well." Miss Blocker's home is at Leander, Louisiana. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are sold by all druggists. Besides headache they cure neuralgia, sciatica, nervous prostration, partial paralysis and rheumatism. If a druggist has no conscience he usually has something that he considers equally good. Sores on Face and Back—Tried Many Doctors Without Success—Gives Thanks to Cuticura. Captain W. S. Graham, 1321 Eoff St., Wheeling, W. Va., writing under date of June 14, '04, says: "I am so grateful I want to thank God that a friend recommended Cuticura Soap and Ointment to me. I suffered for a long time with sores on my face and back. Some doctors said I had blood poison, and others that I had barbers' ifch. None of them did me any good, but they all took my money. My friends tell me my skin now looks as clear as a baby's, and I tell them all that Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment did it." Many a girl's popularity with the sterner sex is due to a rumor that she has money. Cannot Reduce a Rate. It is stated in Washington, that under the Townsend rate bill, if a rate is fixed by the Commission it cannot be lowered by a railroad. Should an emergency arise calling for a decreased rate, the railroads or shippers would have to appeal again to the Commission, there being no latitude allowed, whatever the circumstances. Hitherto a maximum rate has been the rule, but no such concession is made under the proposed legislation. THE BOY'S OPINION A small five-year-old, after tasting a cup of milk at the supper table one evening, set it down, and said: "Mamma, I bet a nickel to a doughnut that our milkman has got a sour cow."—Saturday Evening Herald. How's This? We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O. We. the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney that catarrh cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure, and are able in all business transactions and financially able to carry out any obligations made by his firm. WALKING YINAN & MARVIN, Whole Drugstore, Toledo, O. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the patient. Price 75 cents per bottle. Sold by all Drugstores. Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation. The smooth tongue has caused many a man to slip. With the coming of May, Hudson River navigation opens, and both the day line and the night boats—palaces of elegance and models of comfort—will be once again in active service. Travel the earth over one will find no more beautiful water trip than this journey up or down the historic river that flows majestically through a valley of peace, still bearing the footsteps and scars of battle; still echoing with the sounds of war.—From "Vest Pocket Confidences," in Four-Track News for May. Not Much Risk Examining Physician (for insurance company)—"I'm afraid we can't take you, sir. You are too great a risk." Applicant (resignedly)—"Well, perhaps I am. The fact is, that when I get sick I never send for a doctor. I just lay around until I get well." Examining Physician—"Eh? Um—we'll take you." After a man gets to be about so old insurance agents cease to take such keen interest in the welfare of his dependencies. A A Tale of Suffering. A Modern Cottage. Will Generals, an Atchison negro, was shot and mortally wounded this week by another negro, George Martin, a mere private. Not finding any live issues to quarrel over, the people of Osage City, it is said, are quarreling over the management of their cemetery. Happy Manhattan. Her people are not restricted to one river to fish in, as most towns are. The Kaw and the Blue meet at Manhattan. Fearing a lynching, Dave Caroll, charged with criminally assaulting Mrs. McCoy and her daughter at Clinton, has been removed to Osceola. "The Fourth of July is so close at hand, remarks the Atchison Globe, that. Kansas people have commenced to pick out their orators at Toneka." Charles Wolf, city clerk of Hiawatha for ten years, has just been reappointed. A great many other city clerks in the state, actual or would be, would like to know how he does it. F. D. Coburn, secretary of the state board of agriculture, has received a letter from Sicily signed by several citizens of the island, who have seen a copy of one of his reports and ask for directions as to how to reach Kansas. "Cattirola-Berclaz," remarks the Topeka Herald, "is the heading over an item in the Osage City Free Press chronicling the telescoping of those names in a marriage ceremony by a local priest. Returns coming from the local assessors show that on an average there are three births for every death in Kansas. In scores of townships no deaths have occurred at all during the past year, but births have been reported in all. D. W. Blaine and other implement dealers in Southwest Kansas have a plan on foot to use crude oil as fuel for threshing machines. They claim it would be cheaper and more satisfactory than coal. State Superintendent Dayhoff has ruled that a county superintendent can receive only $1 for each school visited no matter how many rooms it contains. Some superintendents have thought that they ought to have $1 for each room visited. Governor Hoch has accepted an invitation to attend the Lewis and Clark exposition in Portland, Ore., next summer. In his letter the governor expresses regret that the recent legislature omitted to make an appropriation for a Kansas display. Secretary Wilson will come from Washington to address the farmers of Dickinson county this week. C. M. Harger suggests this as a suitable text. "Ensilage for the Money Crop; or How to Preserve, Utilize and Care for the Accumulation of Cash." A local produce merchant, says he Smith Center Pioneer, shipped from this station during the ninth of April the enormous total of 2, 136, 600 eggs Boiled down that number equals 178,050 dozen, 5, 395 cases of fifteen carloads. A little ciphering shows that 71,220 hens were daily proving their sterling worth to the opulent. In order to encourage school children to study agriculture the Topeka State Fair Association will be asked by County Superintendent of Schools Carter to offer prizes every year for the best display of agricultural products grown by Shawnee county school children. Mr. Carter believes this will get the pupils interested in the matter. Reports received from thirty-four out of the thirty-nine counties of the state show that the wheat crop is in excellent condition, and that an enormous yield may be expected. Last year 20,000 hands were furnished by the state free employment agency, and this year it is expected that a much larger number will be required to meet the demands. A man who had been legally dead for thirty years was on Thursday res-surrected by the magic touch of Governor Hoch. The name of this modern Lazarus is John R. Hurst, who was sent to the state penitentiary from Labette county in 1874 for felony. After doing time for a few years he was released, but his citizenship was never legally restored until Governor Hoch did the job ror him. Prof. Clinker has some important evidence which he will place before Commissioner Garfield. He finds that the Standard's claim of inferior Kansas oil is due to oil worms placed in the storage tanks. He expects to be able to prove that the oil worms were put in the tanks from which the tests were made for the very purpose of discrediting the quality of the Kansas product. "An Effingham man has a bald-faced mule" says the Brown County World. "A bald-faced mule is said to be very rare. He uses it to break colts. The old mule has successfully helped to break twenty colts this spring. His tactics are simple: If the colt doesn't come to time, as the mule thinks he should, he just grabs it by the neck with his teeth and shakes it till it is glad to be good. It is said that a Wichita man is slowly recovering from an affliction of more than a year's standing. He has a peculiar nervous malady which makes it impossible for him to walk, although he can run as well as anyone. Fright is said to have been the starting of his trouble. About a year ago, while he was out with his father, the latter fell from a tree. The boy ran all the way for a doctor, and has ever since been subject to this peculiar aliment. Calumet Baking Powder complies with the pure food laws of all states. Food prepared with it is free from Rochelle salts, lime, alum and ammonia. Trust Baking Powder sell for 45 or 50 cents per pound and may be identified by this exhorbitant price. They are a merce to public health, a food prepared from them contains large quantities of Rochelle salts, a dangerous cathartic drug. When a man has to marry five times to confirm his suspicion that marriage is a failure he ought to be locked up and have his head examined. USE THE FAMOUS Red Cross Ball Blue. Large 2-oz. package of cents. The Russ Company, South Bend. There is not one chance in fifty-four亿 billion of two finger prints being alike. Investigation of the Packer Very general interest has been manifested in the government investigation now in progress into the mode of conducting business by the large packs located in Chicago and elsewhere Much has been written upon the a legal illegal and improper modes of business procedure combined with packing industry; but it seems that far no definite charge of any kind has been sustained and no proof of illegal or inequitable methods has been closed to the public. While a wave of severe criticism of this great industrial interest is now passing over the country it might be well to remember that the packers have had as yet opportunity to make specific detalies the many indefinite charges of wrongdoing having never been formulated so that a categorical answer could be made. The recent report of Commission Garfield, which embodied the result of an official investigation undertaken by the Department of Commerce and Labor of the United States, was a surprise to the eastern packet this result having been excluded at tempts in many quarters to discredit were made. In view of the situation as it now stands, however, attention may properly be called to a few facts that owing to popular clamor are now being parently overlooked. Fair treatment in this country has heretofore been coded to all citizens whose affairs are some prominence in the public eye and some of the facts that bear upon the relation of the packers to the commerce of the country may at this time be briefly alluded to. It would be difficult to estimate the benefits gained by the farmers of the country resulting from the energetic enterprise of the packers, for whatever is of benefit to the farmer is a gain to the entire commerce of the country. And connected with their continuous aggressive work no feature perhaps has been more important than their efforts in seeking out outlets all over the world for the surplus products of the farmer. Our total exports of agricultural products have gained but little in the past twenty years, and leaving out corn the total of all other farm products was far less in 1903 than in 1891. But in packing house products there is considerable gain during this period because an organized and powerful force has been behind them seeking new and broader markets. Besides the benefits reaped by farmers on account of the enterprises and energy exercised by the packers in training commercial results by forest trade, the great development in the manufacture of packing house by products has added enormously to the value of all live stock raised in the United States. The waste material twenty years ago, then an expense the packer, is now converted into articles of great value, and, as an economic fact, this must correspond increase the value to the farmer every head of cattle marketed at a numerous stockyards of the country. Let these facts be remembered when now it is so popular to regard the great packing industry as deserving condemnation. At least it must be mitted that, so far, there is no quate reason for the almost mous howl that may be heard everywhere in the face of the Garfield port above alluded to which praetor exonerates the packers from the secure and indefinite charges that have been for some time past made the subject of popular comment. — American Homestead. Adaptability of Rhyme. Adaptability of Rhyme A school-teacher was trying to press upon his scholar's mind that lumbus discovered America in 1800 so he said, "Now, John, to make a remember that the date when Columbus discovered America, I will make it in a rhyme so you won't forget 'In 1492 Columbus sailed the blue.' Now, can you remember, John?" "Yes, sir," replied John, next morning when he came to speak his teacher said, "John, when did lumbus discover America?" Columbus sailed the dark blue sea.