Cayton's Weekly

Cayton's Weekly PRICE FIVE CENTS CAYTON'S WEEKLY Published every Saturday at Seattle, Washington. U. S. A. In the interest of equal rights and equal justice to all men and for "all men up." A publication of general information, but in the main voicing the sentiments of the Colored Citizens. Subscription $2 per year in advance. Special rates made to clubs and societies. HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON..Editor and Publisher Entred as second class matter, August 18, 1916, at the post office at Seattle, Wash., under the Act of March 3rd, 1916. TELEPHONE: BEACON 1910 Office 303 22nd Ave. South THAT UNION LABOR JOKER. Admission of Negroes to trade unions is on the increase. This is one of the most hopeful signs of advance in the entire labor movement. History not only in America but throughout the world proves that differences in race or religion between neighboring groups are in the long run used principally for their economic exploitation. Just as the Romanoffs set Jews and Chirstians at each other's throats, so the Hapsburgs played the various races and creeds of Austria against each other. Irish landlordism, the real enemy of all Irishmen, has sedulously fostered old hatreds between Catholics and Protestants, and incidentally prolonged its own life by many years, while its dupes fought each other blind to the fact that landlordism is the common enemy of both. The use of racial antagonisms in America is well illustrated by the frequent practice of mine operators and steel companies in the employment of laborers as divergent as possible in race, language and creed. Each barrier to friendly intercourse among the workers makes their exploitation easier. So with whites and Negroes. Social antagonisms carried over into the economic field have been used by interests that will exploit a white man as readily as a black man. The Negro and the white are not natural enemies. Only the artificial restriction of opportunities makes them seemingly so. The future welfare of both lies in friendly cooperation, not only in the sweeping away of man-made barriers, but in the days of greater freedom when those barriers have been destroyed.—The Public. The above editorial theory sounds good to read, but it is without a scintilla of practicability. Organized labor breaks down the color prejudice bars in its halls and then goes to work the very next day damning and colored man that seeks to get "a white man's job." But until the various trades unions see themselves as others see them they are in line to lose a great many more strikes by Negroes taking the places they leave. COLORED CHILDREN GET THEIRS From the State of South Carolina the citizens of the North hear much about the dense ignorance of the colored folks thereof and their total unfitness for the right of suffrage. The facts, however, are not as black as they are pictured and the colored citizen even in South Carolina has advanced many paces in educational qualifications, but if they have not, if the following bit of information from the government statistics be true, then how could they be otherwise. Here is a clause from the educational report of the country: "In South Carolina in the last fiscal year the average amount spent for the education of white children was $17.83 and that for the schooling of Negro children was $2.16." SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, SATURDAY, MAY 10, 1919 Think about expending the munificent sum of $2.16 in a whole year and then imagine the amount of education a child would acquire therefrom. The amount spent on a white child for educational purposes is infinitisimal in comparison to what is spent on children for educational purposes in Washington and other states of the North and yet the amount is approximately 2,000 per cent greater than the amount spent on colored children. The gods of justice have many human wrongs to right and here is one of them. Let us hope, however, the mills of the gods grind slow but exceedingly fine. EDITORIAL- PARAGRAPHS Instead of Will F. Hays getting this country out of the woods, politically speaking, he seems inclined to get it deeper in the Woods. And now Korea is demanding complete independence. It seems to us one China made the same demand and got complete dependence. If there had have been a pool of water instead of the floor, in which those over curious women at the Ruth Garrison trial could have fallen their ardor may have been cooled. So changed is the peace protocol just presented to the German envoys from what it was about March 1st when President Wilson returned to this country all het up and demanded the senate to ratify it even before it had passed the body, that President Wilson hardly recognizes his own child. Reports come that the postal authorities have held up the May number of the Crisis, the reasons therefor we know not, but we suspect in it the Southern murderers have been given a touch of hight life and the kunnel does not take kindly to "niggers talking back." Uncle Sam seems sorely troubled these days with leagues and rumors of leagues that have for their chief purpose the overthrow of the government. Of the most prominent are the Non-Partisan League of North Dakota and the League of Nations of Washington, D. C., the permanent success of either means the final downfall of the United States government. Recently the editor of Cayton's Weekly was accused of being the power behind the throne in a local organization. Such a position we would have no objections to filling, for to do so is a weakness of the human family, but its news to us to learn that we had reached the goal of human ambition without ourselves realizing it. If, however, we have done so it's not so sweet as we had been lead to believe it was. You may have in the past, Mr. President Wilson, run Congress according to your own sweet will, but when the coming Congress convenes you will be very much in the same state of mind as was the young boy when he first heard "heavy, heavy hangs over your head. Fine or superfine? Fine. The owner to kiss the homliest girl in the house." In short Mr. President you and your L. of N. are doomed for a genuine drubbing. VOL. III. NO. 49 Ruth Garrison may be crazy, but from her court answers, she ain't no fool. What has become of Turkey? She must have either gotten lost in hte shuffle or her old man was too sick to be put on trial. Germany, it is said, is still a sovereign state. We have our suspicions that Germany now thinks she is a suffering instead of a sovereign state. Mr. Mikado may not have gotten what he wanted in America, but he most assuredly got practically all he wanted in China, which after all is the desideratum, so far as Japy is concerned. When one has an opportunity to read a noatice published about a friend like the one which appeared in "Seattle's leading weekly" about Dr. David T. Cardwell, it is simply, journalistically refreshing. Great as Germany may have been in the past her greatness is now a thing of the past. And thus do kingdoms rise and fall like the flow and ebb of the ocean tide. No one seems to want to hear from Douglas Storrs and may he meet the fate of that Jew who upbraided the Savior and was then and there branded a "Wandering Jew," and who have been compelled ever since to wander from country to country and from ocean to ocean, looking for something, he knows not what. Wilson's fourteen points may still bear the name, but they certainly bear darn little of the blame and yet his publicity agents would have you believe Wilson has established permanent peace throughout the world and the milennium is now on us. "Ain't it sickening?" There seems to be no doubt but that the Y. M. C. A. made some mistakes overseas as recently said George W. Perkins. Yes, indeed, it made some mistakes, and we are inclined to think it made nothing but mistakes and we can not see how it can ever live them down, but having got the money it can afford to retire. If the Hon. J. Weldon Johnson of New York does not face an audience of two thousand persons, when he rises to speak in Seattle June 5th, then it will be due to the fact that the Seattle folk do not appreciate a man of talent. Without doubt he is one of the United States' most brilliant platform lecturers and he is full and overflowing with his subject. Another colored man has been lynched in Pennsylvania and it seems that union labor in that section has taken this gruesome way of registering its protest against the large influx of colored citizens. If the Pennsylvania authorities do not send to the state prison every one connected with this recent lynching bee there then they will be derelict to their duty. Congress, according to a presidential edict, is to convene in extra session May 19th and though that will be a day or so before the president arrives from his junketing European trip, yet it will give the lawmakers plenty of time to get all het up, that they may the more easily burn up the League of Nations covenant when it will have been handed to them. --- EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS Little Woody Wilson lost a league and can't tell where to find it, Let it alone and it will come home and bring its tale behind it. Be wise and never air your personal Proselyting among the colored citizens of Seattle for the cause of organized labor may be a long step in the right direction, but we have our suspicions of even a dead dog. For defending his wife and children, Dr. Leroy Bundy of East St. Louis now pines in a penitentiary cell. May the spirit of Lincoln comfort him in his hour of loneliness. No one seems to question the honest intentions of President Wilson, but almost every one seems to question his judgment as to the good effects of the League of Nations, so far as your Uncle Sam is concerned. grievances in public place lest you be inwardly censured more than the one you would direct public censure to. If Belgium will kick and kick like the devil, just as did Japan and Italy, she, too, will get her pound of flesh, just as did Japan and Italy. The peace board is parceling out the world and anything to keep peace in the family. In our last issue we took the position that Mrs. Presto was not qualified to represent the Seattle Branch in the tenth anniversary of the N. A. A. C. to which she evidently took exceptions and in a public meeting thoroughly proved our contention: "Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad." After observing the struggling masses fight for an opportunity to gaze upon Ruth Garrison, the red handed murderess, it's easy to understand why thousands of men, women and children turn out to witness a human being burnt at the stake. The human family is so prone to crime that criminals interest them a hundred per cent more than do good law abiding citizens. WAS IT A DREAM In a state of utter despair, I, Horace R. Cayton, stood on the banks of Lake Washington and gazed into the deep, dark water below, which never gives up its dead, and just as I had reached the conclusion that life was not worth living and that I would bury my sorrows with my body in the silent waters below, a woman, comely in form, but fearful in frown, appeared on the scene and administered unto me a tongue lashing that made even the cold still waters of the lake sit up and take notice. I pulled myself together and forgot my determination to find that peace that passeth all understanding and I said to myself, I will not die, but I will strive to live and capture the affections of that woman because the woman single-handed and alone that will beard the lion in his den and tell him things as she sees them is some woman, and under proper guidance will be the means of both man and woman reaching the eureka of life, which will end in happiness forever beyond this vale of tears." My, what a headache—that macaroni and cheese seem to have made me have awful dreams. Steam Heated Apartments TWO AND THREE ROOMS. Talk with P. FRASIER, 316 Pacific Block. --- THE PASSING THRONG President Stone has issued a call for an association meeting Monday evening at the Mount Zion Baptist Church, to which he hopes a full attendance will be present. The meeting last Monday evening dispatched much routine business in connection with the membership drive, which will begin in dead earnest next Sunday, when a number of four-minute men will talk at the three leading churches, each of whom will be accompanied by two membership solicitors. The four-minute speakers and the accompanying membership solicitors for the two ensuing Sundays are as follows: A. M. E. CHURCH, SUNDAY, MAY 11 FORENOON. Mr. Wilson, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mr. and Mrs. Drake. EVENING SERVICES. Archie R. Bonner, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mrs. Wood, Mrs. H. Chandler. EVENING SERVICE. Mr. Wilson, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mrs. Wood, Mr. H. Chandler. GRACE PRESBYTERIAN. FORENOON. Dr. David T. Cardwell, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Miss Presto, Mr. Mr. J. T. Gayton. EVENING SERVICES. Archie R. Bonner, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Miss Preston. Mr. J. T. Gayton Dr. David T. Cardwell, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mr. and Mrs. Drake. EVENING SERVICES. Mrs. G. W. Jones, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mr. and Mrs. Drake. MOUNT ZION BAPTIST. FORENOON. Mrs. L. A. Graves, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mrs. Woods, Mr. H. Chandler. EVENING SERVICES. Mr. Wilson, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Mrs. Wood, Mrs. H. Chandler. Mr. Wilson, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Miss Drotha Presto, Mr. J. T. Gayton. EVENING SERVICES. Mrs. Alice S. Presto, Speaker. Membership Solicitors: Miss Drotha Presto, Mr. John T. Gayton. Seattle is to be favored with the presence of James Weldon Johnson, noted lecturer, writer and linguist, of New York, who will speak here June 5th and 6th in the interest of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. As a scholar and lecturer Mr. Johnson has but few equals in this country and as a poet he stands among the leaders, and so far as the colored citizens of this country are concerned, absolutely stands at the head. At present he is the field organizer of the N. A. A. C. and editorial correspondent of the New York Age. He is a man with a national reputation, having won his spurs as a debater in the National Republican conventions. A committee of arrangements will endeavor to use Mr. Johnson to the best advantage to all during his stay in the city. Ruth Garrison, the rather unique Seattle murderess, according to her attorney has always been an imbecile and it has been most remarkable that she did not do something devilish before murdering Mrs. Storrs. Not only Ruth, but even her mother and father were imbeciles. Now that was a most wonderful story. Yes, so wonderful that it sounded very much like a lie. Prior to her murdering Mrs. Storrs this same Ruth Garrison was the pride and joy of the court house employes and like- wise the thousand and one lawyers who were called to the courthouse to attend to legal business, and yet all the time she was stark mad. At the hotel in Okanogan county the proprietor thereof declared her to have been a fountain of joy and happiness. But she no sooner goes on trial and all of those pleasing qualifications that have been attributed to her were given the lie and she was pictured from the cradle to the grave as a morbid montebank, ready at any time, on account of her inherited imbecility, to jump at the throat of some unsuspecting human being. It takes and "attorney-at-law" to stage such legal camouflages to hoodwink a jury and judging from Askrem's turn at the wheel in the Ruth Garrison case, he is a past master at the business. Ere, however, this paper reaches you the jury will have rendered its verdict in the case. Roland H. Cotteril, a Seattle councilman, is dead and the City Hall is in mourning. Mr. Cotterill was a very brilliant man and his life from early youth to almost the day of his death was full of useful constructive work for his fellow man. In life from the very beginning of mature years he made his own way and leaned on no one for aid or assistance. When he was elected a member of the city council, about two years ago, the future looked bright for him and many predicted that it was only a question of time when Roland Cotterill would go over the top and capture something higher in the state government or, perhaps, even in the Federal government. Cayton's Weekly found in him an enthusiastic supporter and even booster. Peace to his ashes. John Franklin Cragwell is handling the speakers for the N. A. A. C. membership drive and is anxious to secure volunteers for the work. The speaking, beginning next Sunday and will continue for five consecutive Sundays. The wife of the late Paul Lawrence Dunbar, the renowned poet, visited Seattle last week and was well received by the general public. Mrs. Dunbar is famous not wholly from having been the wife of Dunbar, but great from possessing a master mind of her ownself. She was for many years a teacher in the public schools of New York, being the first person of Negro parentage that ever taught in that city. She is a noted writer and seems to have imbibed some of the poetic spirit of her illustrious husband. Some weeks ago this paper said, in connection with a bunch of stories told at the expense of the colored soldiers, that a story told about a colored man and not in jargon, though the colored man be highly educated, was not remotely funny. Here is a rather laughable story: Dr. J. M. Buckley, the Methodist divine, was asked one day to conduct an "experience meeting" at a colored church in the South. A colored woman arose and bore witness to the preciousness of her religion as lightbringer and comfort-giver. "That's good, sister!" commented Dr. Buckley. "But now about the practical side. Does your religion make you strive to prepare your husband a good dinner? Does it make you look after him in every way?" Just then Dr. Buckley felt a yank at his coat-tails by the colored preacher, who whispered ardently: "Press dem questions, doctor; press dem questions. Dat's my wife!"—Ladies' Home Journal. Now as amusing as the above story is per se on sober second thought, if Dr. Buckley really said this he simply lied. Dr. Buckley is one of the leaders of the M. E. Church and would have a duck fit if even a colored man was licensed to preach who was not a college graduate and yet he jokes about one of his college graduates in the above jargon. What fools we mortals be. ihe Soa oe Ts) ees a os pe Soe \. . git tas me i . ‘ oS si ue probs (aah cok tcacent pie tee ante a ene eet PEA, ay si i BSS ese Tht ey pee maa Aare ey! ey awh) cn : r AY . Gs So Say Senin Ae EON TG MR ye fats are ARE YOU HERE > @ Anger and pride are both unwise and vinegar never catches flies. The world has no interest in your per- sonal troubles. Laugh and the world laughs with you, but weep and you weep alone. _If you are truly. great in mind you do not have to tell the people about it, they will find it out even though you keep your mouth shut. Let your light so shine that the less for- tunate may be able to run as he reads from the reflection of your light. Diplomacy has won more victories than has war and as in war so in the struggles of life. Fight when you can not run, for how- ever justifiable the cause to fight may be, the winner is the loser. Roses bloom in Spring, but human roses should bloom from June to Juvember and then some, if they would maintain their perpetual beauty. Who thinks well of his fellowman is al- ways thought better of by his fellowman. Bread cast upon the water always returns increased ten fold. To have a grievance is like unto having a boil, it throbs every time it gets bumped. Grievances sour your soul and soils your mind. Music is nature’s most soothing elixir, so when you find that your fighting blood is rising sing Love’s Old Sweet Song. Always eredit your failures to some mis- take of your own rather than to the oppo- sition of the other fellow, and if you do your future mistakes will be fewer and further apart. The world is large enough for every par- son to navigate in and yet not bump into any one with whom you just can not agree or work in harmony. Few persons are as popular as_ they think they are, but they never discover their mistake until it is too late to mend their ways. To retract what you have asserted is a bitter pill, but it is better to retract than to get run over by the steam roller of public opinion. Who sings, ‘““You may have all this world, but give me Jesus’? may not have much standing among those who are money mad, but to have a conscience at perfect rest and health to earn your daily bread is happier by far than was Midus. Lovely woman, thou art given to rage, Lovely woman thou art prone to change. Alas! what man can trust your charms, Or seek his safety in your arms. DID YOU KNOW. Gleen TI. Curtiss has announced prepara- tions for building a flying boat capable of carrying a freight or passenger load of two tons across the Atlantie in twenty-four hours. A bill is pending in the Ohio legislature to provide for a Department of State Police like the State Constabulary in Pennsylvania, New York, Michigan, and several other States. Dr. Royal S. Copeland, health commis- sion of New York, says that more cocaine was sold by manufacturers of the drug to wholesalers in New York City during the month of January last than in the whole year of 1918. Professor Irving Fisher, of Yale Univer- sity, in a plea for the limitation of inherit- ances states that of the 150 or more for- tunes yielding incomes of one million per year, or over four-fifths, have been accumu- lating for two generations or more. The Indians have a good Liberty bond record. Although they are not wealthy people, on the first three loans they sub- seribed more than $13,000,000, or between $30 and $40 per capita. The Osages, with a population of only 2,180, subscribed $226,000 to the third loan. More than 150,000 tons of nitrate of soda, released by the War Department, is being distributed from eighteen United Etates shipping points to farmers via the bureau Diep NETS Cte Rae OD OA oA Ri ac NS MRC aS REIS YDSO Nes e™ Path ae oe OP ments of over 1,000 tons each. The United States Bureau of Labor Statistics has published a series of hand- books which are proving of great value to employers in hiring men. They are entitled “Descriptions of Occupations,’ each book being devoted to one particular line of business or industry and containing detailed descriptions of the jobs in that particular line, The 4,000 residents of the Yakima, Wash., Indian Reservation, a majority of whom aye well off through land holdings, and 400 of whom own motor cars and live in modern houses, now have a substantial bank of their own, managed exclusively by red men and for red men. It is called the Commercial Bank of Wapato, Wash. After the Association to Promote Proper Housing for Girls opened a big ‘‘Community Club House’’—three old dwellings made intu one—and a ‘‘Model Rooming House’? for girls, on East Thirteenth street, both houses were filled within a fortnight, and for weeks applications continued at the rate of from five to ten a day. When the United States Supreme Court mandate ordering that Eugene V. Debs be taken to the Moundsville, W. Va., Federal Prieson to begin a ten-year sentence for violating the Espionage Act, was announced to the Socialist leader, he said: ‘‘During my incarceration my comrades will be true and my enemies will be satisfied, and therefore, as far as I am concerned, all is well with the world.’’ From his 23-acre farm near Athol, Kans., an enterprising farmer makes as much as the average man on 160 acres. He plants a diversity of crops, though the acreage of each is necessarily small. Last‘year his best money-maker was four acres of cane. From it he made 400 gallons of sorghum that sold readily at his home at 75 cents a gallon, or $300. The seed he had threshed, and the last of it, 150 bushels, has just been sold at $2 a bushel. Wages and the cost of food have not ad- vanced in like ratio, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Between 1913 and 1918 average union wage rates in- creased 30 per cent., whereas retail food prices advanced 68 per cent. Between 1907 and 1918 the corresponding advances were 40 per cent. and 105 per cent. In terms of purchasing power a week’s wages pur- chased only 77 per cent as much food as in 1913 and only 69 per cent as much ag in 1907. The Ontario Legislature has granted the petition of Ottawa, and passed an act em- powering the city to submit to the votecs an ordinance exempting personal property and improvements from all taxes except those for water and schools. The exemp- tion is to be at the rate of 25 per cent. a year, reaching total exemption in the fourth year. It is considered indicative of the change in public sentiment that the com- mittee which hittherto had thrown out similar bills was this time unanimous in its approval, The Reform Union in Cleveland has un- earthed a conspiracy to defeat the ends of justice in the common courts. Its nature seems to have been that of collusion between convicts and officials. After a number of rules of court had been amended and the Cleveland Bar Association had taken up the matter, Governor Cox at the request of the Bar Association and the Chamber of Com- merce decided to act in the matter, and a plan was worked out by which a change was made in the law by the Legislature of Ohio enabling the Attorney General to appoint special officers to make such an investigation. JAPANESE HUMOR. Japanese humor may be almost as evasive as Japanese poetry, at least as far as Western ideas are concerned, but “‘it is indeed the flower of life, and life without it would be as dreary as spring without its blossoms,’’ in the words of a Japanese author, Mr. Eisaku Waseda, who discusses the subject in a recent issue of ‘‘The Tourist’? (Tokyo, Japan). ‘‘We Japanese,’’ DR. C. ALLEN, Bentist, Examination tree, ol. J. 9211 Globe Bldg., Ist and Madison. Office hours 9 to 12 a. m., 1 to 6p. m., Sun- days by appointment. Residence 1830 24th Avenue. Bast 6419, DR. F. B COOPER, 2ert!st, ,262-3 Empire - F. D, 9 Bldg, 2nd and Madison. Special appointments for evenings and Sundays. Of- fice hours 8:30 to 12 and 2 to 6. Main 6093. Resi- dence, East 5056, ld wants two columns CAYTON'S WEEKLY 32"! .8%hoq° 48 made up after thtis style and fashion. Rates very reasonable. Beacon 1910. STONE THE CATERER ji 228 parties and ban- quets cheaper than you can do it yourself. Stone's ice cream leads. East 275. adds Mr, Waseda, ‘‘must bless our stars that we are endowed with a keen sense of humor, which manifests itself in all phases of social intercourse and acts as oil in lubricating the wheels of society.’’ The pun, according to Mr. Waseda, enjoys high honor in Japan, but this form of humor, being word-deep, does not lend itself. to translation, and Mr, Waseda turns to trans- latable jokes, culled from the Japanese humor of the past three centuries, by way of proving the prevalence of that keen sense of humor with which he eredits his country- men. Here are some specimen jokes, taken from the considerable budet he presents, each with the date of the book from whieh the selection was taken. They seem, in addition to their quaintness, to be rather long in ‘‘getting to the point.’ Tlowever, one main objection of the Japanese to American ways is that we are always in too much of a hurry to get the real flavor out of life, and it may be that there are qualities as important as “Dep”? in such jokes as the following: So Many Men, So Many Desires. A group of young men were engaged in lively conversation on a variety of topics. One of the company expressed a desire to die of consumption, as it would enable him to breathe his last in peace. Another pre- ferred love-sickness. A third wished to have a disorder known as somnambulism. A fourth considered a sudden death as the best way of ending one’s life, and assured his friends that he would die suddenly. Sure enough, he did die suddenly, a few days after the utterance of his unfortunate prophecy. His friends assembled at his home and in tears mourned the passing of their loved friend, the attendant circum- stances having made the bereavement more lamentable. One of them, however, whose sense of humor had not been clouded by the sad event, observed: ‘If he were here alive, how elated he would be!’’ (1772,81). The Virtue of the Hangonko. A man who had recently lost his wife said to one of his friends that he was anxious to see his better half once more. Deeply moved, his friend told the man that he had heard that the burning of hangonko (spirit-invoking incense) in front of the PACIFIC COAST COAL CO. Puts the Best COAL on the Market Phone Main 5080 You Are Welcome To Spend Your Leisure Moments at the GREAT NORTHERN POOL AND BILLIARD HALL Cigars, Tobacco and Soft Drinks. Courteous Treatment BOYD & WILLIAMS, Props. 1032 Jackson St. grave would cause the image of the dead to appear. The man caught at this encouraging suggestion, and, having purchased at a druggist's one hundred cash worth of, not hangonko, but of hangonlan, a medicine for some bodily ailment, by mistake, he hastened to the grave of his wife. He proceeded with the burning of what he considered the incense, and he was pleasantly surprized to see the tombstone shake. This he attributed to the efficacy of the spirit-invoker, and was highly delighted; but by this time the incense was all gone, so he went home for money to buy another one hundred cash worth. The charming illusion was then cruelly dispelled by his mother, who called out to him, "Where were you during the earthquake just now?" (1818-30.) --- The following bit of humor about Mount Fuji is no doubt a classic in its native land, and might be considered typically Japanese. It is as delicate as one of the familiar Japanese prints of Mount Suji, as subtle as the ray tints of which the Japanese artist is so fond. But if the technique of the jest is Japanese, the human nature revealed by it is universal. In Mr. Waseda's translation it runs: Mount Fuii. While admiring a kakemono in the alcove, a visitor exclaimed: "How faithfully Tanyn has painted Fuji! I found the mountain just like this when I made the ascent the other day." Master of the house: "I suppose you could see my house from the top of the mountain?"—"Don't talk nonsense; how could one see here from that mountain?"—"How strange! We see Mount Fuji from the drying-platform on the roof of my house, I assure you." (1781-89.) This prohibition joke might stand a chance in one of our modern "funny papers," if trimmed up and presented with more "punch": Temperance Made Easy. "I have had a present of some sake. It is heated ready to drink. Won't you take a cup?"—"No, thank you. I have sworn off sake for three years, as a sacrifice to the gods."—"It is impossible; I can't believe what you say."—"Wait and see how strict is my observance of the oath," so saying he left the house. The following night he came to the house, when sake-drinking was going on, announcing that he had called to take part in the enjoyment of the stimulant. The master was astonished and reproached the man for his feebleness of will, demanding, "Where is your boast of only yesterday?"—"I do not mean to break my oath. Only I have hit upon a capital idea: I have extended my three years' temperance to six years, on condition that I indulge in drinks only at night."—"It sounds plausible; but I have a better plan to offer: While you are about it, extend your period of abstinence to twelve years, and drink day and night." (1744-48.) Here is a variation of the old fable about the dog who dropt the bone he had in his mouth in order to seize the larger one he saw reflected in the steram below him: Fishing for Gold. An angler told a man that he was lucky enough to hook a purse with fifty gold kobans in it when he went out fishing the other day. This induced the man, who happened to be a great worshipper of the dollar, to try his luck. He betook himself in a boat to the sea off Shinagawa, and succeeded in hooking a big fish. "Confound it! I don't want you," he exclaimed angrily, and so saying he unhooked the fish and cast it into the water amid the envy and amazement of his brother of the rod. (1818-30.) The Biter Bitten. Said an innkeeper's wife to her husband: "The guest who came this evening carries Tailors and Cleaners. Clothes called for and delivered. Hats retrimmed and blocked. H. S. Frazier C. W. Curtest a package which seems to contain things of great value. I wish he would leave it behind." Husband: "I have a good idea: I will give him a great deal of myoga (a spicy vegetable supposed to produce forgetfulness). This plan he carried into practise: he gave myoga in abundance to the guest with soup and with vegetables. Soon after the departure of the guest, the room was inspected, but there was no trace of the coveted baggage. The landlady began to scoff at the inefficacy of myoga as an oblivion-producer. This her husband flatly denied, saying, "It has had its effect." "What do you mean?" demanded the mystified woman. Husband: "Why, he forgot to pay his bill." (——.) A Charm Against a Bore. After the departure of a visitor who had given annoyance to the family by his prolonged visit, the embarrassed master told the boy to set up a broom with the business end bandaged with a Japanese towel, as a charm for shortening the visit of an undesirable caller. The man called again the next day, and the boy at once proceeded to carry out his master's command. He did as he was told, but, fearing lest the thing should not be in proper style, he brought the stick to the parlor, and, producing it under the very nose of the master, as he sat face to face with the guest, he saked, "Is that right, sir?" (19—.) A Fortune-Teller Challenged. A troop of noisy boys were flying kites in front of a fortune-teller's establishment. Some of them spoke disparagingly of the fortune-teller, saying that he had poor foresight, and that no fortunes told by him hit the mark. This impertinence roused the man to anger. "You rascals!" he roared. "You annoy me enough by flying kites before my office, and now you dare to insult me! Where on earth do you come from?" "Tell us, tell us," came a challenging voice from the group of amused juveniles. (1772-81.) A Bottomless Jar. An absent-minded person went to a store to buy a jar, and, noticing one turned upside down, blurted out: "How absurd; this jar has no mouth." Turning it over, he was once more astonished—"Why, the bottom is gone, too!" (——.) HELP US TO HELP YOU The National Assn., for the Advancement of Colored People Will Give a Will Give a GRAND MAY DANCE Thursday Evening, May 15th, 1919 8:30 P.M. At Renton Hill Club House, 18th Ave. eNar Madison Music by Mrs. Smith's Orchestra Committee:Mr. and Mrs. G. W. Jones, Mr. Harvey Chandler, Mrs. W. Wood, Mr. S. H. Stone, Dr. Arthur Williams, Mr. S. H. Stone, Mrs. L. A. Graves, Dr. Arthur Williams, Chairman. Subscription 50c Suppose? Set the clock back just two short years, son, and take a look at things as they were before you went to France. Suppose you'd been told that a man in Washington could hold up a finger of one hand and make a nation go bone dry. Suppose you'd been told that a hundred million people with money in their pockets would stop eating wheat and meat and sugar just so's another hundred could fill up on 'em. Suppose you'd been told that twenty-three million free and independent Americans would submit to a war draft without a murmur, that war bonds would sell like hot cakes, that an army of four million men, for the first time in the history of war, could be kept free from vice. RICHARDSON'S UNDERTAKING PARLORS Embalmer and Funeral Director Office, Beacon 103; Res.. Main 5610 IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington for King County. John J. Shirley, Plaintiff, vs. Jesse W. Rawlings, and Mabel Rawlings, his wife, and Emma T. Rawlings, Defendants.—No. ..... Summons and Publication. The State of Washington to Jesse W. Rawlings, and Mabel Rawlings, his wife, and Emma T. Rawlings: You and each of you are hereby summoned to appear within sixty (60) days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to-wit: sixty (60) days after the 29th day of March, 1919, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled court and answer the complaint of the plaintiff and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for the plaintiff at his office below specified in Seattle, King County, Washington, said King County being the place designated by the plaintiff as the place of trial of said action, and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint which has been filed with the clerk of said court. The object of the above entitled action is to foreclose a certain mortgage executed by the defendants Jesse W. Rawlings and Mabel Rawlings, his wife, bearing date the 17th day of December, 1906, and filed for record in the office of the Auditor of King County, State of Washington, December 23, 1908, in Volume 424 of Mortgages, page 315 of the Records of King County, Washington, whereby there was mortgaged to the said Emma T. Rawlings the following described real estate situate in King County, State of Washington, to-wit: The north twenty and six one-hundredths (20.06) feet of Lot two (2) and the south nineteen and ninety-four one-hundredths (19.94) feet of lot one (1) in block one (1) Leschi Heights Addition to the city of Seattle, together with all and singular the tenements, hereditaments and appurtenances thereunto belonging or in any way appertaining. That said mortgage and notes were duly assigned, transferred and set over for a valuable consideration by the said Emma T. Rawlings to said John J. Shirley, the plaintiff herein. That said assignment of mortgage was dated the 23rd day of September, 1918, and duly recorded in the office of the Auditor of King County, State of Washington, on the 28th day of January, 1919, in Volume 760 page 460 of the Records of King County, Washington. The object of said action is to exclude defendants therein and each of them from any lien or interest in said property and otherwise as will more fully appear from said complaint. First publication March 29, 1919. Last publication May 10, 1919. LOOK WHOSE COMING J. WELDON JOHNSON WILL LECTURE IN SEATTLE JUNE 5th, 1919. PRICE FIVE CENTS ---