Cayton's Weekly

Cayton's Weekly PRICE FIVE CENTS CAYTON'S WEEKLY Published every Saturday at Seattle, Washington, U. S. A. Subscription $2 per year in advance. HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON..Editor and Publisher Entred as second class matter, August 18, 1916, at the post office at Seattle, Wash., under the Act of March 3rd, 1916. LOOKING FOR JOBS (The New York Age) Washington, D. C.—Already the lily-whites, assisted by their Democratic allies, are trying to create the impression that the incommig Republican Administration will ignore the claims for recognition of faithful Negro supporters of the party. Propaganda in the shape of special articles in southern papers is being attempted, based on what is alleged to be confidential information received by southern lily-white leaders from National Committee Chairman Hays and other national leaders. The baldness of the movement is clearly indicated by the manner of procedure. One outbreak came from Birmingham, Ala., where the Alabama Republican Club is fostered by the lily-whites. The secretary of this club claims to have received instructions to the effect that the white element of Alabama republicanism as incorporated in the membership of the club will control the distribution of federal patronage in that state. Leading men of the Republican party who are now in Washington for the closing session of the Sixty-sixth Congress declare that such statements and allegations as are made by the Alabama lily-whites are absolutely without foundation. Men who are in close touch with chairman Hays and President-elect Harding, say the alleged instructions are ridiculous. Especially chimercial and ludicrous is the statement attributed to one Rea, secretary of the Birmingham club, which sets forth that the Natoinal Committee had already appropriated a sum of money to be used exclusively in the South for the upbuilding of a white man's Republican party. Chairman Will H. Hays has not been seen concerning this matter, but attention has been directed to the numerous occasions on which he had made his attitude plain as to the rights and recognition due to Negro Republicans. President elect Harding, just returning to the United States from his vacation trip to Panama, has not had the matter called to his attention. But past utterances show that such a method of procedure is entirely foreign to him. Leading Negro Republicans here, when apprised of the propaganda of the southern lily-whites, expressed no apprehension or alarm. They are satisfied that the Harding Administration will not allow itself to be influenced to the extent of doing injustice to the Negro element of the party by demands of southern lily-whites. The tremendous increase in Negro Republican voters, and the number of Negroes elected to office for the first time in the history of certain states, is also pointed to as a reason for the incoming Administration to give a square deal to Republican supporters without regard to color. Details of the lily-white southern Democratic propaganda indicate clearly that the securing of federal offices is the prime motive of the campaign. Evidence of this is in the emphasis laid by Rea, who is also the editor of The Alabama Republican, on a claim that his paper carried the first preconvention article boosting Harding for the nomination. The Birmingham club is also SEATTLE. WASHINGTON, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1920. authority for the claim that white supremacy will control the appointment of every federal office in the South. The ingenious statement is made that while there are numerous federal offices to be filled in Birmingham and elsewhere, no candidates will be put forth until Harding is inaugurated. It is further declared by Rea and one Charles Allson, president of the Birmingham club, that federal offices in Alabama are to be filled by men who worked for the party and brought out the vote and not by those who in past years have used the party organization as a means of profit to themselves. The lily-whites refer to the other element of the party as "black and tans" and allege the complete submersion of the "black and tans" as a result of the new policy. The propaganda of the Alabama lily-whites, as well as that of lily-whites in other sections of the South, will not it is declared by national leaders, both colored and whites, have the effect anticipated. It is not believed that President-elect Harding, Chairman Hays and other prominent and influential members of the Republican party, will be swayed to any extent by the ingenious and expert propaganda of the Negro-hating lily-white, southern democratic element now clamoring for recognition. EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS The lynching of human beings is an awful good thing to let alone. Booze and crime are synonymous and the Californiaites now fully realize that. In olden times money made the mare run, now money makes the gas burn, which, of course, makes the car run. It matters not how hard up you happen to get, just forget that car for you can't sell it for a darn thing. "Prince" Poindexter must have been sleeping at the switch or he would have seen trouble ahead for him. It begins to look as if Will Humphrey is to be the big gun of the Northwest in the Harding administration. Seattle has already begun to figure out some plan to provide for the unemployed this winter and well they may. Behind the blackest cloud, a bright sun shines, but in the Puget Sound country these days that's the only place it shines. A Salt River boat would be an appropriate Christmas present for the Democrats who are now sojourning in Washington City. In case California excludes the Japanese it is proposed to bring colored folks from the South to take their places on the farms. You big fellows, who have been making the dough in bucket full lots, do not overlook the fact that the income tax grabber has his eye on you. Whether it be Irishmen or Englishmen that are scattering firebrands in Cork, its a true case of cutting off your nose to spite your face. The country man may be having it hard on the farm these days, but it is nothing to what the city man is already having, and will have the coming winter. A warm welcome awaits the coming of the San Francisco crooks, who are leaving that city in droves and bunches, in case they attempt to light in Seattle. If you find yourself in straightened circumstances as the present year draws to a close we suggest that you work a little harder and run a little faster in the coming year, and perhaps you will be able to tell a different story Christmas a year. VOL. V. NO. 25 EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS We are of the opinion that both the school and the port commission elections might advantageously be held at the same time the regular city election is. Better housing conditions to be sure prevail in Seattle, due largely, however, to there being fewer persons to house in the city than in years past. A move has been made to close the Hotel Butler of Seattle because it continues to sell booze. That, of course, will be done when the world comes to an end. From our way of thinking, if Rockefeller would give less to charity and take less from the consumers, the country would be a thousand times more prosperous. By the grapevine dispatch it comes to our ears that, Pilehuch Julia is figuring on a white Christmas, but she won't have it if we have anything to say about it. The "southern colored man" is rapidly becoming the colored man of everywhere. In other words he is becoming indigenius to the United States and then some. If the coal mine operators of this state would have all of the coal mined that the country is suffering for, the army of unemployed in the Northwest would be greatly decreased. Lets hope that the sale of a home in Washington City to President Wilson is a bonafide one and not a questionable real estate speculation for the profiteering of the retiring chief executive. Lets hope that the spirit of John Bush of Bush Prairie, Thurston county, will meet John H. Ryan at the state capitol and say to him, its a long time between drinks. but they are good when they come. It begins to look as if the people will have little or nothing to say as to who will be nominated in the thirty-seventh senatorial district to succeed Senator Lamping, but Mr. Palmer, you're a marked man.. Olympia will soon become the mecca of the Northwest and her citizens are preparing to reap their biennial golden harvest and quite in keeping with, let everybody make money when he or she can do so. The presumption is that Maleom Douglas, prosecuting attorney-elect of King county, selected the best from Fred Brown's office crew, and perhaps he did, but, believe me, some mighty good men were overlooked. Col. Roland H. Hartley's smiling countenance was seen on the streets of Seattle not long since, and he chatted just as cheerful as he did in days of yore. The third time is the charm and the colonel may yet be governor of the state. Its an ill wind that blows nobody good! While prohibition put the bar tenders out of commission it has nevertheless made many openings for boot leggers, who are making more money than bartenders and the barowners combined. All of the colored man's woes will not, like Banquo's ghost, banish when Warren G. Harding is inaugurated president of the U. S., but the bull ragging of the colored employees at the capitol will follow in the wake of the retiring Democratic administration. In endeavoring to solve the alleged race problem of this country we suggest to the white citizens that they try giving the colored citizens the necessary opportunity, and if so they themselves will settle the much mooted question, and that, too, without friction. ```markdown ``` --- A few weeks ago "the worst boy in your state" was wanted, to whom noble rewards were to be given by some philanthropic benefactor. The question now is, was he found in the awarding of the "Noble Prize" for the year closing? Germany would doubtless answer. "I'll say so." --- The anxiety of Billy Askren of Tacoma to cinch Betty Brainerd is so acute that an ulterior motive must be urging him on. Billy, so goes the story, persecuted a Mrs. Smith until she took a shot at him, and now in a like manner he seems to be after Miss Brainerd. And now the Lord is threatening to run for a seat in the city council of Seattle. The city is pretty tough normally, but it has never occurred to us that it is so bad that the Lord had to become a member of the city council in order to clean her up, but save us Lord we pray. Raising money in Seattle and King county to help the starving European babies may prove to be a case of robbing Peter to pay Paul, for, as we see it at this writing there are going to be a whole lot of, not only hungry babies, but grown up hungry folks as well in Seattle before the grass grows again. Owing to a looseness of birth registration in this state Dr. Anderson of the state board of health, wants to know, "if you are born yet". No, doctor, but if the editor hereof can grab enough money in the very near future he may be born soon. Its next to impossible to be very much born when you haven't the "mon". There is always a difference of opinion on every subject as may be seen in the following: the white folks of Arkansas say, the Negro candidate for governor made a dark showing, while the colored citizens of Arkansas say, the colored candidate made a bright showing, the former, however, is a pun, while the latter is a stern reality. Whether the careass of the long since dead Democratic jack ass shall be turned over to Jim Cox or Bill McAdoo is the mooted question in Democratic circles. Its not worth disputing over, fellows, so just draw straws for the stinking old thing and whoever gets it send it to the fertilizing station where all such putrid carcasses should always go. ABOUT COLORED CITIZENS The Baptists of Arkansas are planning a state-wide school for boys. Dr. Leonard W. Lewis, a prominent Chicago physician, recently died in California, whither he had gone in quest of his health. Mrs. S. B. Tillman, the wife of a Seattle contractor, died in Vancouver last Sunday and was buried Wednesday, the Rev. W. D. Carter of Seattle officiating. Mrs. Maude E. Everetts in a divorce suit from L. E. Everetts, a Seattle barber, was awarded the divorce and all of the community property. Mr. Russell Smith, owner of one of the most valuable corner lots on Jackson street east of Sixth avenue, has added soft drinks, cigars and tobaccoes to his express business. The Entertainers cafe has closed its doors and may not reopen them. Between the "clean-up" orders and the stringency of the money markets, such places are finding it hard to pull through. Mr. P. Frazier, who is a very successful real estate broker of Seattle and where he has operated for the past three years, has some interesting news for the public and will report the same within the next ten days. Rev. D. A. Graham, surveyor of the Puget Sound Conference of the A. M. E. Church, with a large crew of helpers, is endeavoring to ennumerate the colored citizens of Seattle this week and hopes to close the work in the very near future. E. Davidson Washington, son of the late Dr. Booker T. Washington, is traveling and lecturing in the interest of Tuskekgee. Wiff Woff Wobblers is the name of a company of twenty persons, at the head of which is Amon Davis, a former Seattle boy. The company is in the South and is reported as doing a land office business. The citizens of Muskogee are raising money for a public library and are making rapid progress. A million dollar banking institution has been organized by business men of Washington City, New York and other cities thereabouts. It will conduct a chain of banks. CALIFORNIA'S CHALLENGE By a large majority California voted last month in favor of the anti-Japanese initiative measure. The act is a challenge not only to Japan, but, in a sense, to our own State Department and so to the government at Washington. For in a statement made public before the election, the State Department declared that it had assured Japan that "no outcome of the California movement will be acceptable to the country at large that does not accord with existing and applicable provisions of law, and, what is equally important, with the national instinct of justice." The measure adopted is designed to strengthen the law of 1913 to prohibit Asiatics from owning or leasing farm-lands or other lands. "Devastating wars," says the N. Y. World, "have had their beginnings in causes less vexatious than this," and it adds that "the people of California, by their ballot-box ultimatum, have in effect voted for war with Japan." This is an alarmist view. The law of 1913 did not mean war and stopping the gaps in it now is not likely to mean war. But the trouble is that a popular campaign for such a measure breeds racial hostility and the enactment of the measure is not likely to allay the friction. Holes, in all probability, will still be found in the law and the agitation will go on, as it did in the case of the Chinese a generation ago, from bad to worse. Japan, in the judgment of the European press, is in no position to talk of war. Her battleship program is behindhand. Her army has deteriorated in equipment. She has serious financial difficulties. And she is detested on the Asiatic mainland. The real "yellow peril" will arise when Japan is able to marshal the hordes of Chinese behind her banners and lead a crusade of the yellow races against the white. But it would be easier for us to marshal the Chinese against Japan today than for Japan to marshal them against us or any other nation. War is out of the question unless we force it upon Japan, and that contingency is hardly worth considering. Europe's view is that California's action pertains to the CAYTON'S WEEKLY (Office 303 22nd Ave. South) Regular, Reliable, Republican, Readable Wants 500 New Subscribers This is a Sample of what it sends out Every Week No Friends to Reward or Enemies to Punish A Publication of Ideas Rather Than Personalities Read for Yourself and Be Convinced subject of domestic economy and is not an internatoinal affair or one that can be brought before the League of Nations. Japan, however, is one of the best customers we have. During the year ending June 30, 1920, we exported nearly $800,000,000 worth of American commodities to Asiatic countries and about 60 per cent of these ($453,147,063) were taken by Japan. And our imports from Japan were greater in the same year than from England or any other country except Cuba and Canada, reaching the figure of $527,220,867. At least one Pacifit port—Seattle—is raising an emphatic protest against the California agitation as threatening to place in jeopardy her commercial future. Just how much Californians are affrighted by the facts that exist and how much by the facts conjured up by their imagination, it is difficult to say. Apparently they have been feasting upon the percentages of increase in the Japanese birthrate and Japanese land holdings, and, forgetting the law of diminishing returns, have seen their state overrun with Japanese in the near future. The facts that exist are that in the last decade the population of California has increased by 1,648,987, while the Japanese population has increased by 38,500. The Japanese number now about 7 in 300 (2.3 per cent). As for their holdings of farmlands, they own 74,769 acres out of 1,389,894 acres under cultivation in the state (six-tenths of one per cent), and lease 383,287 acres (3.3 per cent). It is true that there are sixty millions more of Japanese where these came from, but in the last twelve years, according to the figures of the Immigration Bureau, only 79,-738 of these sixty millions came into the United States (including Hawaii), and 68,-770 returned to Japan, leaving a net gain of less than 11,000 in twelve years! It is true that these figures do not include the number smuggled in by way of Mexico, but, even so, the actual situation seems far from terrifying. The State Department appeals to the "national instinct of justice." But when were these race hostiliteis ever appeased by appeals either to reason or justice? The trouble comes from those who are deaf to such appeals, as we have found out long since in the treatment of the Negro, the Indian and the Chinaman, and may yet find out in the treatment of the Jew. We might as well recognize this ugly fact before the sandlot orators get started again on the Pacific slope. The Federal Council of Churches has had a commission investigating the subject, and it earnestly calls for a new treaty and for new legislation both in Tokio and Washington. The Committee on Immigration of the lower house of Congress has also been investigating the situation and its chairman. Isaac Siegel, ends that "there is a terribly bitter, growing feeling against the Japanese caused by the agitation," and that this agitation, "created largely by politicians," has reached a point where serious international trouble is imminent. He also concludes that a new treaty should be made, excluding Japanese laborers. The situation does not admit of delay. It does not mean war in the near future, but it may mean the cultivation of a deep-seated national resentment which is the soil from which most wars spring. An exclusion act that will work both ways alike—against Japanese laborers entering this country and American laborers entering Japan, admitting other classes—ought not to be difficult to negotiate. If it can not be negotiated, Congress should act, even if it offends Japanese pride (though there is no reason why it should) than these constant pin pricks that threaten to develop every year or two into something more serious. London as well as Washington is troubled by the difficulty of saving the face of the Japanese Government, for Canada and Australia are taking an attitude similar to that taken by California. The "crisis," however, is purely official. The Hara minstry in Japan must issue its assertions about race equality. It must demand satisfaction. It must talk about retaliatory measures. But it has no idea of going to war. In the British Empire generally the Japanese receive no more consideration than they receive in California. Japan has made representations to Australia and Canada, and there is a highly correct correspondence between London, Melbourne, Sydney, Ottawa and the New Zealand capital on the subject. In other words the Japanese government is saving its face. The Tokyo press under its control have been caustic in their strictures on the developments in California. Mass meetings are held in Japan to denounce American race policy, and these meetings, it appears, are supplied with details respecting American land laws which have no foundation in fact. Tales of atrocities of which Japanese have been the victims are manufactured for the benefit of inflamed constituencies by local politicians around Tokyo. The Washington government is represented as confessing its guilt and as making humble apology. The Japanese native mind is given to understand that the United States lives in constant terror of a war with Japan. Demagogs are demagogs the world over. A DAY OF EXPERIENCE He who wrote "Coming events can shadows before," wrote true and wry my experience last Wednesday come of the truthfulness of the saying business in Olympia I decided to down on that day and attend to mness and return the same evening eighty miles from my home to Olympia one hundred and sixty miles there a turn. Tuesday evening while thinking the trip it came to me to go by rail am very fond of driving and the looked fine and drive I would. Jfore leaving that morning I paid gallons of gas and a complement of He who wrote "Coming events cast their shadows before," wrote true and well, and my experience last Wednesday convinces me of the truthfulness of the saying. Having business in Olympia I decided to drive down on that day and attend to my business and return the same evening. It's eighty miles from my home to Olympia or one hundred and sixty miles there and return. Tuesday evening while thinking about the trip it came to me to go by rail, but I am very fond of driving and the weather looked fine and drive I would. Just before leaving that morning I paid for ten gallons of gas and a complement of oil and FOR A CHRISTMAS GIFT Rev. D. A. Graham a pass to South America. Frank N. Harris a bouncing baby boy. The Laurel still has some desirable steam-heated rooms furnished and ready to occupy. The balance of the month free. 303 22nd Ave. So. Beacon 1910. John H. Ryan a first class thinking cap to assist him in his legislative duties. C. B. Miller a couple of bales of hay to feed his automobile. W. C. (Billie) Wilson of Bremerton, a ship load of sailors. Robert Harvey two more hands that he may be able to make more hay while the sun shines. N. J. Barbour a pair of gold rimmed glasses. Rev. J. B. Barber a box of never-failing love powders. Mrs. L. A. Graves a successful furnace operator. William Chandler a baby boy to help him spend his money. George E. Hayes a jack rabbit for breeding purposes. Giles Graves a cannon and a convenient editor. F. F. Keeble triplets. "Umtired of living alone when my wife is gone." Burr Williams an income tax statement signed, sealed and ready for delivery. George H. Blackwell (the undertaker) an innocent remedy to make business better. Miss Mabel Bird the picture of an hymenial alter. Dr. David T. Cardwell an infant home with a full compliment of nurses. Cayton's Weekly two dollars for your subscription. had a wrecking crew at the scene of my mishap and the old bus was pulled backwards out of the hole and towed to the garage where it was found to be but slightly damaged and qutie able to bring itself home and that cussed hoodoo said to me, "do it," when I replied, "get to hell with you, I'll take an interurban home," which I did. Summing it all up I did fifteen dollars worth of business that day at a loss of some twenty-five dollars. There is but little in the above narrative of interest to the readers hereof, but I am thoroughly convinced that every person would be better off if they would follow the dictates of their subconscious minds. In other words, bullying yourself generally ends with disastrous results. I had a mighty close death call when my car skidded and a still closer one when it went in that hole and all because I did not take the more or less safe route to Olympia as my subscience had directed me to do. The good in every one predominates, but it occasionally happens that the bad gets the better of the good and then it is that all hell pops. But of the hoodoo to the contray, I am of the opinion that the proper authorities of Pierce County should be prosecuted for contributory negligence for accidents, and they are many that happen at that dangerous place on the highway. I am told that wreckers are making much money pulling autos out of that particular gulch, but I am so thankful that I am able to write this story that I am willing to bore the readers hereof with it.—Horace Roscoe Cayton. rolled out. My trip to Camp Lewis was without incident and was made in record time, but after leaving Tacoma the roads were pretty well frozen up and while traveling at the rate of thirty miles per hour my car suddenly skidded to the right but I avoided an accident by swinging to the left and shot off into the woods. The jar killed the engine and the car stopped about thirty feet from the highway. I felt foolish and looked for the hoodoo. Finding no damage had been done to the bus I soon had it back on the highway and was again steaming ahead for Olympia. Within a mile of my destination my engine refused to pull my bus and I again looked for my hoodoo. I hailed a passing truck and was towed to the nearest garage and after the machinist had looked it over, he said, the trouble with your car it is out of gas. If the man put ten gallons of gas in the car before leaving Seattle that darn hoodoo had swiped it out. I arrived in Olympia at 1 o'clock, just an hour late. I rushed my business and started for home at four sharp. My bus was running as smoothly as a railroad train and by five I was in Tacoma. There I was sorely tempted to garage my car and come home by the interurban, but my hoodoo said, "Do not be a baby," and immediately I was off for Seattle. A mile out of Tacoma and I was sorely tempted to return to Tacoma when that darn hoodoo bellowed out "baby" at me again, and once more I started for Seattle with many misgivings in my mind. I decided to not drive faster than fifteen miles per hour, but at that I was nervous. I was bowling along keeping a sharp look-out when all of a sudden over a six foot embankment I went like a flash of lightning. My car practically stood on its head in four feet of water. I was not injured nor was I badly frightened, so I climbed out and crawled up the embankment and when I stood erect on the highway wondering what to do it seemed to me that I heard someone say, "better be a baby than a booby." Back to a neighboring garage I walked and soon ANTI-JEWISH PROPAGANDA The American Jewish Committee, of which Louis Marshall is president, came out last week in a defence of the Jews against the charge of attempted world domination, through a secret support of Bolshevism. This charge is said to have originated in an unsigned Russian document called the "Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion." and EXCEPTIONAL VALUE Mahogany or Walnut Bedroom Suite as Pictured $175 The Laurel Apartments 303 Twenty-Second South --- was taken up in this country by Henry Ford, in his paper, the Dearborn Independent. The signers of the statement denounced these publications as libelous and stigmatized the Protocols as a base forgery. The charge that the Jews are responsible for Bolshevism is termed a deliberate falsehood, as the originators of Bolshevism were exclusively non-Jews. It is admitted that there are Jews among the Bolshevists, notably Trotzky, but it is claimed that they represent a small fraction of the Jews and of the followers of Bolshevism. The statement concluded as follows: "The Bolshevist Cabinet, known as the People's Commissars, consists of twenty members, of whom Trotzky and Sverdlov are the only Jews, and they are Jews merely by birth. Of the central committee of the Communist party, including Trotzky, there are four Jews out of thirteen. Although Trotzky is the head of the War Department, his general staff is composed exclusively of non-Jews. "On the other hand, the leaders of the Mensheviki, who are sworn foes of Bolshevism, are to a large extent Jews." Among the signers of this statement were such well-known leaders in business and philanthropy as Julius Rosenwald, Julian W. Mack, Nathan Straus and others. It seems more than a mere coincidence that The Age for the past few weeks has been receiving a series of unsigned articles claiming that the colored man of today is ruled almost entirely by the influence of the Jews, and that this influence is so wielded as to keep up the color line and under the guise of friendship foster the sentiments of racial hatred and revenge. It is also alleged in one of these articles that the Jews controlled the machinery of the secret orders or societies, such as the Free Masons, Elks, Odd Fllows, Knights of Pythias and others to the end of emphasizing the color line and preventing the admission of colored men as members. STOLEN FROM THIEVES "No sah, ah doan't neber ride on dem things," said an old colored lady looking in on the merry-go-round. 'Why, de other day I seen dat Rastus Johnson git on an' ride as much as a dollah's worth an' git off at the very same place he got on at, an' I sez to him: "‘Rastus,’ I sez, 'yo' spent yo' money, but whar yo' been?'”—Ladies Home Jaurnal. Proud Citizen—So you've been visiting our schools, eh? Splendid, aren't they? Magnificent discipline, superb buildings, beautiful furnishings. By the way, I want to ask you what was the first thing that struck you on entering the boys' department? Visitor (truthfully)—A pea from a peashooter. Abe Carter was a pious, hardworking old darky, much respected by the white people of the community. But evil days fell upon Abe. The bol weevil destroyed his cotton; his adopted baby died of the whooping FIRST CLASS COAL and FIRST CLASS SERVICE Pacific Coast Coal Company Main 5080 BURR WILLIAMS SAM HARDIN, Mgr. OSCAR COLLINS MAINEVENT POOL HALL 1212 JACKSON STREET Beacon 2956 CIGARS, SOFT DRINKS, TOBACCOS Cafe in Connection Seattle Baking Company Latest Sanitary and Up-to-Date Baking Appliance Ask Your Dealer For Our Goods RICHMOND EXPRESS CO. WOOD AND COAL DELIVERED Express, Baggage to Any Part of the City. 310 Twelfth Ave. South Beacon 178 FLOYD WEIGHT, Mgr. Distributor of Mme. C. J. Walker's Hair and Skin preparations. Mall, postal and express orders promptly filled. 1201-3 Jackson St., Seattle, Wash. cough; his wife died of a fever; his horse was killed by lightning, and a cyclone demolished his cabin. The Episcopalian minister, hearing of Abe's extraordinary misfortunes, called to see him. "Abe," said the minister, "you have been sorely afflicted, but you must trust in the Lord; you must believe it is all for the best." "Yas, suh, boss," said Abe. "Yas, suh, I does. I feels I is in de hands ob a all-wise an unscrupulous Providence."—Seattle Argus. Irate Customer—See here, waiter, I found a button in the salad. Waiter—Well, sir, that's part of the dressing.—Carnegie Tech. Puppet. "Henrietta," asked Mr. Meekton, 'do you think votes-for-women is a complete success?" "How can you doubt it, Leonidas?" "Perhaps I am overanxious. But it looks as if the women voters have just put a lot of men into office, the same as before." Washington Star. In her book of reminiscences, "Crowding Memories," Mrs. Thomas Bailey Aldrich tells an amusing story about her husband. Mr. Aldrich was to be present at the opening night in Boston of his play, "Mercedes." At the last moment he discovered to his horror (and even more to the horror of his wife) that the necessary black trousers were missing. The only trousers available were those of a "pepper-and-salt" lounging suit, and the only plan that seemed practical was for Mr. Aldrich to go to the theater with his pepper-and-salt trousers combined with the upper half of an evening suit. He decided to sit at the back of a box behind a screen of wraps which effectively hid the defection of the conventional evening make-up. When, at the end of the play, the curtain was rung up and there were loud cries of "Author! Author!" Mr. Aldrich could only bow in ignominy behind his screen. The next morning's newspapers, in criticism and editorials, said: "It was much to be regretted that Mr. Aldrich had not spontaneously yielded to the flattering request to come before the curtain, instead of coldly bowing, at the back of a stage box." tments from apartments, Take No. 9, Twenty-Second occupy nents Beacon 1910