The Broad Ax

The Afro-American Forces His Onesidedness In Politics Ahead of His Religion HE WILL TRIFLE WITH HIS SOUL'S SALVATION BY MARCHING UNDER THE BANNER OF THE VARIOUS RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS. AND FORFEIT HIS CHANCES OF LANDING WITHIN THE PEARLY GATES OF HEAVEN. HIS ATTITUDE IS ENTIRELY CHANGED IN THIS RESPECT WHEN HE COMES TO DEALING WITH POLITICS OR TEMPORAL AFFAIRS. HE PROCLAIMS HIMSELF INFERIOR TO OTHER RACES OF MEN, BY HIS BLIND ADHERENCE TO ONE POLITICAL PARTY. In numerous instances the Negro has demonstrated his ability to rid himself of many of the evils which he brought with him as he emerged out of the house of bondage, and which have been more than likely to impede his progress upward and onward. This has indeed been truly gratifying to those who are or have been interested in his development along moral and educational lines. They have however, been sorely disappointed in him, in so far as politics or political affairs are concerned, for in this particular field he has made no progress whatever, for at the expiration of more than forty years, of so-called freedom on his part, he still delights to brand himself as the object and cowardly slave of one political party. It is therefore incomprehensible to us how the Negro can work himself up to the point where he is willing to tride with his soul's salvation, for he is willing to forfeit his chances of arriving within the pearly gates of heaven (if there is such a place, which we seriously doubt), by freely affiliating with all the wildcat churches in existence. He will become a shouting Methodist or Baptist, Presbyterian, Mormon, Christian Scientist, Catholic, Dowlete, and gladly follow the religious leaders of all other denominations and hazard his chances of striking the straight and narrow path which is supposed to lead to paradise, for it is expressly stated that "there is only one true church, that all who fail to march under its banner will be eternally lost with this terrible warning or admonition hanging over his head he is still perfectly willing to traverse the various religious roads in order to find a resting place with his imaginary Gods, throughout eternity. A. this is readily changed with the Negro, when it comes down to politics, which only deal with the temporal affairs of men and not with their spiritual welfare; but with the Negro he places his politics ahead of his religion and he has naturally arrived at that mental condition which forces him to believe that he must REPUBLICANS COULD PASS CRUMPACKER BILL. The Baltimore Sun says: "There has not been a time since Mr. Cleve- nel left the White House nearly twelve years ago, that the Republican party did not have enough votes to pass the Grumpacker bill. That they did not do so may be taken as evidence that they do not want to do so. At the recent election the Repub- licans elected a majority of the Con- continue to blindly vote solidly for one political party, regardless of the fact that men and political measures have radically changed within the past fifty years. His blind or unreasoning attitude in this respect has reduced him to his present deplorable political condition, and if he will persist in adhering to his present course t is only a "question of time until he will cease to be a factor in the political affairs of this country. As it is he can never regain any of his lost political power or prestige until he refrains from permitting any one to tell him how he is going to vote simply on account of the color of his skin. Those who are constantly giving expression to the shallow and fallacious idea that it is unnatural for the Negro to belong to more than one political party and that the leaders of that party must forever be permitted to use and vote him like a lot of green sheep, for no logical reason whatever, fall to take into consideration the fact that they are simply assisting those who contend that "the Negro, in the beginning of the world was not cast in the same moulds with the other races of men, that he wears the stamp of inferiority upon his brow, that it is unnatural for ten million people to solidly aline themselves with any political party, on all questions and issues for a long period of years, that these tendencies seemingly render the Negro incapable of becoming a full fledged American citizen! If it is true that the Negro is effected with a mental or political disease in this respect so much the worse for him; for then it will be a much easier task to reduce him to the level of the Indian in all parts of this country and with no voice whatever, in the affairs of the Government, and with heavy taxation without representation, stripped of his property, disfranchised, right and left, outlawed in every direction, without hope or ambition to spur him on he will soon revert back to the savage state from whence he sprang, and will become an alien and a criminal in a strange land! gressmen, and when the new Congress convives the 4th of March, 1909, the Republicans will be in control of both branches of congress and all other branches of the government and it remains to be seen what will be done for the Negro whom they profess to love so much, about the only thing they will do for him with few exceptions will be to rush him off to one side, in order to make room for the rebels and the illly white Republicans who will occupy the front seats at the ple counter.—Editor. M. All matter is eternal, but mortals cannot be immortal except in a material sense. Science tells us our bodies are composed of certain elementary substances, principally gases. These substances pass into the earth and atmosphere on the dissolution of the material body, and thus preclude the possibility of their ever again being contained in the same or any similar body. As well might one pour a gallon of water or wine into the ocean, and hope to again dip the same wine or water without anything added or lost. "As the cloud is consumed and vanisheth away, so he that goeth down to the grave shall come up no more"—Job 7:9. "There (the grave) the wicked cease from troubling, and there the weybe be at rest."—Job. 3:11, 22. "They are dead, they shall not live; they are deceased, they shall not rise; therefore hast thou visited and destroyed them, and made all their memory to perish.—Iss. 26:14. "For the living know that they shall die, but the dead know not anything, neither have they any more a reward for the memory of them is forgotten. Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might, for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom in the grave whither they goest."—Eccl. 9:5, 10. "For that which belfalfeth the sons of men belfalfeth beasts, even one thing belfalfeth them; as the one dieth, so dieth the other; yes, they have all one breath; so that a man hath no preeminence above a beast; for all is vanity. All go unto one place, all are of the dust, and all return to dust again. Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward; and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth?—Eccl. 3:19, 22. Even the writers of the so-called word of God were materialists, and Solomon, the wisest of the men after God's own heart, and an ancestor of the Christ, after a life of debauchery, and holiness combined became an atheist, or are those passages interpolated? Voltaire says: "The word soul is one of those which everyone pronounces without understanding it. We understand those things of which we have an idea, but we have no idea of soul-spirit; therefore, we do not understand it." After reading a hundred authorities on the soul I am forced to believe with Hobbes: "Soul-spirit—is synonymous with ghost,—a mere phantom of the imagination." Therefore immortality cannot exist—Chas. H. Schwartz, in The People's Press, Chicago, Nov. 21, 1908. ABE RAYMER IS NOT GUILTY. Dismissed on Rlot Charge and All Mob Cases May Collapse. Springfield, Ill.—After four hours' deliberation the jury in the case of Abe Raymer, alleged leader of the mob in the race riots last August, today, November 21, returned a verdict of not guilty. He was tried on a charge of malicious destruction of property. Several witnesses testified that they saw Raymer throw a brick into Loper's restaurant. When tried several weeks ago for murder in connection with the lynching of W. K. Donnegan an aged Negro, Raymer was found not guilty. The grand jury returned 117 indictments in the riot cases and there has not yet been a conviction, although a number of cases have been tried. To-night's verdict is taken to mean a collapse of the riot cases. As stated before in these columns, there is only one thing for the Negro to do when mobs take possession of any city or town, and that is to duck for his home, lock its doors and nail up its windows from the inside, then if any of the leaders of the mob attempt to break into the house shoot them dead on the spot, for most of the men who compose the mob, are selected to serve on the juries, and it is very seldom that they will convict their white associates in crime for simply killing law abiding Colored men, women and children. And if Scott Burton and W. K. Donnegan, would have resorted to this method and defended their own lives and the lives of their families even to death, the chances are they would be living today and such eminent citizens as Abe Raymer and company with their bodies full of powder and lead, would be occupying a common hole in the ground, with their tombstones marked sacred to "the memory of mob and lynch law." Sound Observations On the Present Political Status of the Negro His Utter Indifference to the Latest and Fa Reaching Decision of the United States Supreme Court. Not Having Strong and Courageous Leaders, His [Civil]and Political Rights Are Strongly Assailed [in All [Parts of America. The Negroes of America are being undone in a political way because they refuse to acknowledge leadership. Every man seems to feel to be of consequence, tending advice and opinions with a cocksureness that causes alarm, since this advice and these opinions are based on the observation and experience of the individual, which, under the circumstances, are limited. Leadership is not looked on with favor, not because it is thought about as a means of general advancement, but because it means the elevation of a few, a condition not desired, and only for that reason, regardless of the possible good. The tendency has been to endure fills and pressure from without rather than concede the mastery to a few choice men, as has been the history of all nations that survive the yoke. The Freeman has talked, preached and prayed along this line for lo, these many years, calling attention to the drift of affairs; it has pointed out approaching dangers, but to what purpose? With no eye of prophecy, it has seen the lessening circles of the Negroes' civil rights lessening still, like sportsmen rounding up the quarry, until today we are as stag at bay. Finally, the race, owing to its indifference, mutual hate, when it comes to leadership, through the rifts in the walls of defense and offense, the highest court in the land has acted above the law in making for peaceful relations between the races, and which turpitude is owing nearly as much to the Negroes' unenviable qualities as to the white people's set opposition Only one more calamity greater than this decision could befall a race or individual in a country like this—that is, civil death. And yet, who is disturbed? The knowledge of the decision which in a manner sustains everything else similar has not created a tremor of excitement. In fact it is not generally known what the court did, and when known, does not excite passing comment. Suppose such a sweeping decision had been rendered as to affect the civil relation and social, to general society of any other people, is it supposed that those concerned would be indifferent? The question may be asked, what's the use? it is not the point. The thing indifference, failure to act up to the opportunities and all of the civil and DOXOLOGY FOR THE DEMOCRATS. Praise Ted from whom all blessings flow, Praise him all reubens here below, Praise him ye hosts of greed and graft, Praise Ted for landing Hilly Taft. And now may the grace of greed rest and abide with the Rockefellers, the Harrimans, the Goulds, and the racial delinquencies have made a very poor impression. An incident did not do it. The fact that the Supreme Court decided as it did is not it. Virutally it had no alternative—citizenship being forfeited by insufficient activity. With the whole world as witness, consent with a passable condition instead of that strenuosity that characterizes those about, the same that makes all nations look up when little old Japan speaks. Indeed, Japan is so important that it dares not talk or else all the other nations of the earth are on the quilve to know what it is all about. This does not have in mind any warlike nations, but on the other hand, (industrial nations, integrity, sobriety, whereof it will be writ—This is a People. What is being said? Is it this: A people with ideals? No; it is held a nondescript, unstable as water—an easy mark for the world; hence proscription and reminders of caste, and, mind you, not owing nearly so much to the activity of the other fellows as it does to the non-activity of ourselves. What we have done, what we possess, is the song, while those things that make possession valuable are slipping away and will continue to do so for years to come, unless there is a racial regeneration—until the Negro race views life just as the white man views it. He will come up by his hard rules or he will stay back; it is written, and the wayfaring man, though a fool need not err. Leadership may be condemned, and, indeed, if conditions for the better could come about without it, there would not be the necessity. Leadership, the elevation of men, is not a desideratum of itself, but because the possibility of pointing the way is better. The proscriptions of recent days calls for thought of the best minds, then action, conservative action, no step being taken unless it means for greater good than harm. Moderation, consideration, are qualities to be employed and not some of the methods known during the past campaign. The struggle is not without witnesses; they, however, will not testify in our behalf unless we prove that we are students of the present day status and act accordingly, winning the way upward through peace and love, which are stronger than iron or stone.-The Freeman, Indianapolis, Ind. grafters in general forever and ever. Amen—C. L. Noble, in Appeal to Reason. Oscar Hebel, who will become president of the Board of Assessors of Cook county the 1st of Jan., 1909, may be induced to make the race for one of the Judges of the Circuit court in 1909. There is, too, a public reading room which is well stocked with books and pamphlets printed in different languages and treating every phase of the disease. Many of the pamphlets are for free distribution and visitors are urged to take them home and after reading pass them along to their neighbors. Nashville, Tennessee, Nov. 20.—The Nashville American of this city sold in its issue of Sunday, November 19, that, "In this city can be found about as large a per cent of Negroes according to population as in any other in the Southland. They are not simply here without purpose, occupation or business. While they are at work enjoying the pursuit of liberty and happiness together with their schools they have business enterprises that are growing, and that now seem to be commensurate with their educational advantages. Possibly the Nashville Negroes have more of an international reputation than those of any other city; this is brought about from more than one cause. The latest development among the Negroes of this city is the Negro Doll Idea, which has put them before the civilized world. A factory is to be located here where thirty-five thousand members of the race reside, and they will give it their support. Here, as a denominational centre, it will no doubt enjoy a greater amount of prosperity than if located elsewhere. "A Negro Doll Factory for Greater Nashville," is the slogan among the people. The originators of this great enterprise that has turned millions of eyes of the decendants of. Ham towards Greater Nashville are Rev. R. H. Boyd and his associates Dr. Boyd, who is at present at the head of the National Baptist Publishing Board, a Negro concern that is already known all over the world, a business enterprise that has brought hundreds of thousands of dollars to this city, a plant that is the pride of two million five hundred thousand Negro Baptists. Rev. Boyd declares that the Negroes will support such an enterprise just as they are supporting their churches, their publishing houses and their families. He stated that since the Negro Doll Idea had been indorsed by the National Baptist Convention at Lexington, Ky., the news had spread all over the United States, and people are writing for prices, information, and the article itself—the Negro doll. The Negro Doll is a reality, and it is on exhibition at three distinct places in the city and will bring thousands of dollars to Nashville. The Negroes are surprising themselves in the way in which they are taking to this new fad. The toy itself will be supplied by the Negro Doll Company, a local firm under the management of Nashville Negroes. A beautiful characteristic of this new enterprise is that it is not a denominational affair. There is no religion connected with it. The Negroes of Nashville have in this one instance dispensed with their religious ideas. They are supporting this solidly as a race. The manager of the Negro Doll Company. H. A. Boyd, said yesterday to an American reporter that it was surprising to see orders coming from Tacoma and Seattle, Washington, Pennsylvania, California, Illinois and Massachusetts as fast as they are coming from any of the extreme Southern cities. Mound Bayou, Miss., a Negro town, has so far sent in the largest order to the factory. All in all, the Negro Doll Company will mean that Nashville has added another international enterprise. It means the employment of hundreds of Negroes and the advancement of Nashville in many lands. No doubt but that the Board of Trade and Nashville in general will welcome a new factory and a new enterprise that is calculated to add so much to the city. Negro organizations, religious and secular, fraternal and social, all over the country, are indorsing and pledging their support. The Federation of Colored Women's Clubs of Illinois led off, and then followed the State Convention of Illinois, and so on down to Florida, according to reports reaching this city—The American, Nashville, Teen., Nov. 15, 1908. A QUESTION OF REDUCTION. The declaration of President Roosevelt that no responsible man in the Republican Party has any serious idea in reducing the congressional representation of the South, so long as the disfranchisement of voters is not based upon race or color seems to us to be within the strict lines of the truth. We would like to have shown us though one single disfranchising constitutional enactment in the southern states, where this disfranchising business was not made on account of race and color. In fact this was the answered purpose of all such legislation. If it was made with the intention of disfranchising the illiterate white man as well as the illiterate Negro, then the electorate of the South has been badly deceived by their supposed friends. So far as the Colored folks are concerned, they are woefully disappointed over the outlook and many to-day hope to see the time come again when they shall be permitted to cast that ballot that they had come to regard as the heritage of every American citizen. This country is drifting to that condition of oligarchy, where only the favored few can rule and it is a deaf, dumb and blind man who falls to see it and to realize its disadvantages. The whole theory upon which this government was founded is being reversed.—The Planet, Richmond, Va. This is true brother Mitchell, this country is fast drifting into an oligarchy, and it is ruled and controlled by a few wealthy heaven born lords and their understrappers and as long as the Planet supports the national policies of the Republican party, it is assisting to bring about that present condition of affairs. THROWING OVER THE NEGRO. Ours is a white man's party. We threw the Negroes out the other night and served notice on them that they could vote for the Democratic candidate; that we were done with Negroes.-Jack Engin, Republican candidate for congress in San Antonio (Tex.) Record. Substantially this statement is reported upon good authority to have been made by the Republican candidate for congress in the San Antonio congressional district. It is entirely consistent with the action of the white members of the San Antonio Republican executive committee, as reported by the San Antonio press, in holding a meeting without notice to the Negro members and naming a "illy white" ticket. And this is all in accord with the policy of Chairman Lyon, who has methodically eliminated the Negro from Texas Republican politics. A few years ago the "Ily white" Republican movement was considered party treason by the regulars; now it seems to have entirely absorbed the party in this State. Hence, the Negro does not find it necessary to consider President Roosevelt's action in the Brownsville affair nor the expressions of Mr. Taft in the letter to Vorys about Foraker to find evidence that the party he has so long sustained in power is throwing him overboard as a veritable Jonah of reproach.—Houston (Tex.) Post. THE AMERICAN PEOPLE HAVE LOST THEIR POLITICAL POWER. The Rockland (Me.) Opinion (Dem.) November 13.—That Bryan was defeated by the votes of men who will vote for Democratic administration of State and local affairs, can have but one meaning. Hundreds of thousands of American voters who believe in Democratic principles, approve of Democratic policies, and have confidence in Democratic candidates, do not dare to vote the Democratic ticket because they fear the power of the moneylords, the trusts and the "captains of industry," who openly threatened to wreck the business of the country if Bryan was elected. They believe that it is safer and better to let these men rule and rob and devour the substance of the people, to give them absolute political power, rather than face the consequences of their wrath, possessing as they do, through monopoly and special privileges, the power to punish the people by commercial and industrial squeezing if the complete control of government is denied them. This is our interpretation of the meaning of the election of November 3. The people are not afraid to entrust the Democratic party with the administration of State, county or city when they feel that it will do better work than the Republican party. But when it comes to national matters, they realize that the power has actually past from them and that it is useless and dangerous to attempt to regain it. The Thanksgiving Carnival was a grand affair there being more than one thousand admissions, the judges C. Hughes, Wm. Franklin and Misa Rana Brokenburg was kept busy for more than an hour in awarding the nice large fat turkeys, the management gave as prizes, which were awarded as follows:—1st prize,—Best skating couple, Mr. Wm. Chilton and Misa Evlyn Brown; 1st prize—School child skater, master Joseph McCutcheon; 1st prize—Endurance race, Misa Grace Thomas, who won fourteen competitions, ten of whom were boys and young men, 1st prize—"Poorest of the Lot" was awarded strictly upon merit to Mrs. Anna Glenn, every one seemed to have enjoyed themselves immensely. Good picture show, fine music and detectable foods to amuse those who don't skate, every afternoon and evening. Special program tonight. Prominently among those at the Rink Chateau Deplaisance, Wednesday last were Mrs. J. C. Snowden and son, County Commissioner and Mrs. F. C. Leland, Mrs. Belle Patten, Mrs. Chifton and son, Mrs. J. McCutcheon and mother, Mr. and Mrs. Walter Burton; Mrs. and Mrs. L. C. James, Mr. Geo. W. Hight, Mrs. Busin, Battie Brothers and many others. Next Saturday night there will be a reception to the smart set and a midnight vaudeville at the Rink, a good time for all good people is expected. THE ILLINOIS FRIEND AND MUTUAL AID SOCIETY. The many members and well wishers of the Illinois Friend and Mutual Aid Society 172 E. 26th St., have been disturbed over a rumor connecting the society with the alleged embezzlement of C. B. Travis, its former secretary. The officers of The Illinois Friend and Mutual Aid Society knew nothing of the alleged embellishment until the arrest of Travis. Immediately after receiving the information the Board of Directors met and called for the resignation of Mr. Travis as Secretary, and the same is in the hands of the society pending the outcome of his trial. The funds of the organization are in no way involved. Lawrence A. Newby, Attorney for The Illinois Friend and Mutual Aid Society. CAN'T BAR NEGRO STUDENTS. Court Orders State College Which Have State Aid to Admit Them. Grand Rapids, Nov. 21.-Circuit Judge Perkins issued a mandamus today directing the Grand Rapids Veterinary College to admit Felix D. Bocker and Wesley D. McCoy, Colored students. The color line had been drawn against them this year although they had completed one year of the course. Judge Perkins held that the college being a quasi-public institution and as such receiving certain benefits and privileges from the State, had no right to discriminate among citizens. AN ELOQUENT PRAYER. Says a Washington clergyman: "I had invited an aged deacon to offer prayer. 'O Lord,' prayed he, 'gib dis poor brudder de eye of de eagle, dat he spy out sin afar off. Glue his hands to de gospel plough. Tie his tongue to de line of truf. Nall his yere to de gospel pole. Bow his head 'way down in some lonesome dark and narrer valley where prayer is much wanted to be made. 'Noint him wif de kerosene ile of salvashun, an' set him on fire."—Harper's Weekly. CHIPS A chain of schools for the education of the Negro is about to be established in the southwest by the Roman Catholic church A callco hop to be given by the St. Joseph's Ald Society at the Winbush residence, 3243 Wabash ave., Thursday, Dec. 3rd, 1908. Admission 15c. The Negroes of Louisville, Ky., recently opened a theatre, owned and controlled by themselves. The seating capacity is about 600. Former Alderman James J. McCormick, is good and ready to put up a hot sight in order to break into the city council from the Fifth ward, in the Spring of 1900. Mrs. Mary E. Smith, 2918 State street, left for Henderson, Ky., Wednesday evening, where she spent her Thanksgiving with her husband and old friends and filled up on Turkey. Ex-Alderman John J. Bradley, who would make a dandy candidate for city clerk of Chicago in 1909, is presenting his friends and patrons with a nice Calendar of the most beautiful design. Rev. Jesse S. Woods and his faithful members gave a turkey dinner at St. John's A. M. E. Church, Englewood, Thursday noon, and many people greatly enjoyed the good Thanksgiving eating which was nicely served by the ladies in charge of the affair. Col. J. Gray Lucas, who is supposed to be the wealthiest Afro-American lawyer in Chicago, and Attorney Hale G. Parker, are grooming themselves to succeed F. L. Barnett, as Assistant State Attorney of Cook County. Honorable Oscar De Priest, who has proven himself to be a very weak baby in the Third ward, and who was rushed to the political wall by Major John C. Buckner, and his followers, is laying his wires to succeed Wm. T. Vernon as Registry of the Treasury. Wm. D. Neighbors and Co., Real Estate, Loans and Insurance, are doing a rushing business since moving to their new location, 95 Washington st., suite 64, Phone Central 4366, they also conduct a branch office at $220 State st. and at all times they have some real bargains in houses and flat buildings. Attorney Edward E. Wilson who was for sometime the leading right hand headlight in the law office of Col. Edward H. Morris, continues to build up a nice practice of his own and some of the best people in the city frequent his law offices at 194 Dearborn street Mrs. Nancy J. Nelson, 1013 Buymiller street, Cincinnati, Ohio is ever ready to render hearty support to worthy and progressive newspapers published in the interest of the Afro-American race and for the past year Mrs. Nelson, with her money and not with her empty mouth, has been a warm supporter of The Broad Ax. Pittsburg, Pa., has a Negro mercantile company known as the United Shoe Co., and its entire capital stock is owned by 24 Colored men. It is the only shoe firm in the city owned and operated by Colored people. W. H. Simms is president and manager; J. A. Brenham, treasurer, and W. A. Gibbs, stock keeper. Cleveland, Ohio, is about to acquire a new building which its owner, Mr. S. C. Green, says will be the finest of its kind owned and operated by Negroes anywhere between New York and Chicago. The dance hall will have the finest floor that money can buy. The building will be three stories high, will contain suites on the second and third floors, and will cost $40,000. One of the Negro's least ostentations but at the same time most sincere and valuable friends during the recent past was the late Senator William F. Villas, of Wisconsin. He bequeathed the sum of $10,000,000 for the support of higher education at the State University of Wisconsin, and provided in his will that in applying this sum to the purpose named preference shall be given to Negro students. Senator Villas was a strong and prominent Democrat, was elected to the United States senate by the Democrats of Wisconsin, and was secretary of the interior under President Cleveland.—Ex. Selections NAVAL SHARPSHOOTERS. Change Six Years Has Made In Our Men Behind the Guns. The American navy now leads the world in accuracy and rapidity of shooting. Six years ago it was behind the navy of every first class power. Six years ago the standard for firing heavy turret guns, which are now a battleship's sole weapon of consequence in battle, was once in five minutes. The average of hits on the target now in use would not have been once an hour. At present these guns fire an average of one and a half shots a minute. They hit the target once a minute. Six years ago the standard rate of fire for six inch guns was less than two shots a minute. As shown by the tests of 1902, less than one shot in six hit the target. Today these guns frequently make as many as twelve hits a minute, and the average of the whole navy is six hits a minute. These are the records at the 1,600 yard range. At the last long range target practice in Massachusetts bay the battleships of the north Atlantic fleet, firing at a target from three to five miles away, averaged nearly 80 per cent of hits. With a target one-third the size of the ships at Santiago at distances from two to three times as great our fleet made more than fifteen times the percentage of hits. Translated into terms of war these changes mean this: Six years ago an American battleship would not hit an enemy's vessel at a battle range of three miles or more offender than twice an hour. Today every ship of an enemy's fleet steaming into range would be struck by two tons of steel shell every minute by every modern American ship firing at her. Solid metal spatters like mud when these great projectiles strike it. When charged with their high explosives these shells are swept through the ship in fragments of from 200 pounds in weight down to the finest steel dust. In all human probability no ship in the world could stand such a fire fifteen minutes—McChure's. 1 MRS. JENNIE ELDRIDGE WATTS. Mrs. Jennie Mildridge Watts, and Mrs. Viola Stewart, have opened up the Yew York and Paris Millinery Parlors, at 2616 Calumet ave. Both ladies are expert artists in this line of work. They will also remodel old hats and make them look like new, and carry in stock the very latest styles in hats and headgear. Mail orders will receive prompt attention. HUMOR OF THE HOUR Obeying Instructions A milkman who lives in a town of New England and collects milk from the neighboring farmers had in his employ a boy whom he sent about with a wagon every morning picking up his supply. There is a rather dangerous railroad crossing on the road, and when the boy began work for him the milkman said, "When there's a train coming just stop and sit still in your wagon till it gets by." The boy went about his task, but instead of collecting the milk in about an hour and a half, as should have been done, he took at least two hours and sometimes more. The milkman grumbled a little, but the boy said nothing, and as he seemed honest nothing was done. One evening the milkman went over his route to see some of his customers. "What ails that boy of yours?" asked one of the farmers. "Why, nothing, only that he's rather slow," was the reply. "Slow! Well, I guess you'd think he was slow if you saw him resting for half an hour in his wagon down there by the railroad track every morning." "Is it true that you stop half an hour every morning down at the railroad track?" the boy was asked. "Yes, sir; I have to," said the boy. "Have to! What do you mean?" "Well, sir, you told me to stop when there was a train coming and to wait till it got by. There's a crook in the track there, so 't I never can see whether there's a train coming down the track or not. So I just stop an' wait till there's one goes by anyway, an' then I just skip over lively!"--Harper's Weekly. How Johnny Managed It "You and that little Watties boy seem to play very nicely together," said Johnny's mother. "I am glad there is one boy in the neighborhood that you can get along with." "Yes," replied Johnny. "I lick him every morning, and then he's nice to me all day."—Chicago Record-Herald. Admirable. "I certainly admire that pianist who gave the recital last night." "For his compositions or for his performances?" "Neither. I admire him for his nerve in charging $2 a seat."—New York Herald. Speed. "How fast does a motor car take you?" "It depends on what you mean," answered Mr. Chugginga. "Over the roads it goes at the same pace as most of them, but when it comes to running into debt if it's got 'em all beat." — Washington Star "The style of wearing tailor made gowns is hard on my business," complained the laundryman. "Ten," observed his male victim bitterness. "I notice that you are a believer in the shirt waste."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. He knew enough to drive the vehicle in a Lady's Presence. The man with a sailor-like appearance murmured something about having got on the wrong street and tried to dodge when the lady ran down the steps and made for him. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!" she exclaimed as she took her stand squarely in front of him to prevent escape. "You ain't the lady I sold the parrot to, are you?" he asked, throwing back his head and looking at her with one eye. "Yes, I am." "An' how's the parrot treatin' you? Fine, I warrant." "You're a swindler." He dropped his head and shook it deprecatingly, still keeping one eye closed. "You told me," she went on, with increasing indignation, "that parrot was one of the most intelligent animals of its species and that it had a gift of language which you had never heard surpassed." "Did I tell you all them things?" he inquired. "Well, then I'll stand by 'em. You got a prize, an' you don't appreciate it. That bird has even more smartness than I give him credit for. Talk about intelligence! He's a marvel. An' he kin talk, too, though I never pretended he had had the advantage of good society. He kin roll off observations of the most 'pinted character without end, though I call on you to remember that there weren't nothin' said about politeness." "But it doesn't say a word." "That's jes' it, ma'm. That's what shows his intelligence. The minute he seen you he knowed you was a lady an' he holds his tongue."—Washington Star. The Landlord's Explanation. "You charge $2 for possum?" said the guest who had just partaken of one at the Crossroad hotel. "That's the bill," said the landlord. "Why," said the guest, "I could dine at the biggest hotel in the city for half that sum!" "I know it," replied the landlord, "but you ain't at the biggest hotel in the city at this here present time, an' yer case is different. Besides, it took me two nights to ketch that possum, an' by bein' up so late I likewise ketched the devil when I come home, an' it's my consideration that of my time an' feelin' ain't wuth $2 they ain't wuth 2 cents."—Atlanta Constitution. A Chicago youth not long ago received the following note from an ex-fiancee: Dear Tom--As you know, I shall marry Mr. Blank during the present month. I shall therefore be glad to have you burn all the little notes I sent you, assuring you of reciprocity with reference to those you sent me. To this missive the young man had the pleasure of returning this reply: Dear Marle--I shall at once comply with your request. And incidentally, as your mine, I should count it a great favor should you be able to induce him to burn them with the rest. The Modern Way. Post—It's good St. Paul didn't live in these days. Parker—Why so? Post—Instead of all those beautiful epistles we'd have nothing but a lot of souvenir postals—Harper's Weekly. Juvenile Depravity. "Kitty," said her mother rebukingly, "you must sit still when you are at the table." "I can't, mamma," protested the little girl, "I'm a fidgetarian."—Boston Globe. "No; he never fooled with them now- fangled ways o' doin'. He jest give him a sound lickin'."—Baltimore Amer- ican. How it Happened. "I lost a ten dollar umbrella this morning." "So? Leave it on a car?" "No. I met the owner on the street, and he recognized it." An Explanation. "Why do fairy stories end, and they lived happily ever after?" "For the reason," answered Miss Ogunne, "that they are fairy stories." -Washington Star. There is a great shortage of officers in the Russian army. In the infantry alone it amounts to 0,000. During each month for the last two years about 21,000 Russian immigrants have entered the port of New York. Britain, Canada, Australia and New Zealand had to pay a deficiency of $811,510 on last year's working of the Pacific cable. An air gun of large size, working on the principle of the pneumatic hammer, has been devised for killing animals in a humane manner. On her preliminary trials the British destroyer Swift maintained for several hours a speed of 88.3 knots, or nearly forty-five miles an hour. She is the fastest vessel ever built. Seven hundred of the persons who died in Ireland last year were stated to be ninety-five years of age or upward, and no fewer than 145 were reported to be centenarians or upward. The British built but German owned ship Columbia, damaged by a hurricane off Cape Flattery, has been purchased by Americans and converted into the first six masted barkentine in the world. Lassa, the mysterious capital of Tibet, is beginning to show longings for the amenities of western civilization. It has just placed a contract with a Calcutta firm to supply a large number of European band instruments. Mme. Poppova is a Russian woman who has invented an aislehip and has called it the Annulated Dragon, which gives one an idea of its shape. There is a system of hoops that serves to steer it, and the ship is said to adapt itself to every sort of wind very readily. A Pittfield (Mass.) business house has adopted the policy of having a young woman bill collector. The girl is meeting with more success than three men, it is said. Her favorite form of salutation is to smile prettily and ask, "Don't you want to pay your bill today?" The answer is nearly always yes. A few years ago the currency of Austria was changed from gudels and kreutzers to crowns and hellers. To deceive customers figures are still sometimes placed in shop windows in such a way that florins are mistaken for crowns and bills made accordingly. By a recent ordinance this has been made a punishable act. There has died in the workhouse at Dorchester, England, a woman named Harriet Hammett a native of Tolpuddle, who was admitted to the workhouse in 1844. As her age at death was sixty-nine, she must have donned workhouse garb when five years old. The only home she ever remembered was "the house." The beneficial effect of storage on the sanitary quality of water now seems to be well established, and a further contribution to the data on the subject has just been made by one of the experts of the London water board. He has shown that typhoid bacillus put in river water gradually disappear as the water remains longer in storage. Sweden has three factories building imitations of American mowers and reapers. The largest of these built 6,000 to 7,000 machines for the season of 1908, copying almost exclusively one of the best selling American mowers. Their reaper is an exact copy of the American original, Swedish made parts fitting American built machines. The new Turkish minister of education says: "We have compulsory education at present, but we lack primary schools. We shall establish them. We shall develop the existing higher education. The study of history will now be allowed. We want a regime of liberty of the press, even with all the evils it means, for it is a necessary evil." There has been opened in Mannheim, Germany, a tuberculosis museum, the object of which is to educate the public as to the cause, cure and prevention of consumption. The museum is opened three times a week for a period of two hours, and during that time physicians are present, who instruct visitors in the manner of fighting the disease. While the clock industry of the Black forest has held its place in the markets of Europe and America for over two centuries, the introduction of modern methods has given it so great an impulse that within six years France has, more than doubled her import of Black forest clocks, the Argentine Republic has tripled her imports, and the United States has more than quadrupled here. It has been found that underlaying the plain of Sharon, in Palestine, at various depths, ranging from eighteen to eighty feet, there is an inexhaustible supply of good water for all purposes. For ages the inhabitants have utilised this knowledge, pumping up the water with primitive arrangements. Now, however, these methods are being supplanted by modern engines and outfits, and a new period of prosperity is at hand. The mahajarish gackwar of Baroda has melted down and converted into bullion the celebrated gold and silver cannon of Baroda. Of these costly but useless toys the silver guns were the inspiration of a former gackwar. In order to "go one better" than his predecessor the late gackwar had the gold guns cast and mounted at a cost, it is gold, of £100,000. They reposed in the state armory and the wonder and admiration of all visitors to the Loans on first and second Mortgages Fire Insurance placed in any company CHOICE MISCELLANY Smart Boys of Long Age. It is often asserted nowadays that our young men and women attain intellectual maturity much later than did their parents and grandparents, and in support of this theory the precocity of distinguished personages who nourished a generation or two ago is cited. Now, somebody who has probably been bored like the rest of us with this yarn about the phenomenal brightness of the old fashioned boys has looked up the records of eleven leading colleges to see what changes have taken place in the age of graduates. From 1850 to 1890 the average age at graduation was 23 years 1.2 months. From 1890 to 1900 it was 23 years 1.9 months. In 130 years at Dartmouth the average age at graduation has fallen three months. This average age, it appears, has changed as little as the average weather. Thus one or two precocious youths of the long ago are sufficient to endure all their contemporaries with the same qualities. But the fact is the twentieth century boy is smarter than any of his predecessors, and (unfortunately) in nine cases out of ten he knows it—Pittsburg Gazette-Times. A Fatal Paraphrase. General Sheridan, says the Philadelphia Ledger, used to take delight in telling the following: "A young man seated at dinner one time said to his wife: "Ellen, if you are good at guessing here is a conundrum for you. If the devil should lose his tail where would he go to get another one? "After some time spent in guessing she gave it up. "Well,' said he, 'where they retail splits!" "Eager to get it off, she hastened to a lady friend with: "Oh, Marlan! I have such a nice conundrum. Joe just told me of it. I know you can't guess it. If the devil should lose his tail where would he go to get another one? "Her friend Marlan having given it up, she said: "Where they sell liquor by the glass." "Marian couldn't see the point of the joke." Once Chinaman Always Chinaman. China is yet a land and a people ruled by ancestors. A Chinaman belongs, soul and body, to his home land because his ancestors belonged there. The wandering Mogul who dies in a strange land has paid tribute all his tolling years to a brotherhood whose sacred duty is to coffin his bones and send him back to his native land for burial. Not even after death will his country relinquish her claims to him. Why should the Chinese government be interested in keeping American born Chinese familiar with the reading and writing of the old language when it is presumed that they and their children will remain in America henceforth? The answer is that such is never the presumption. The government's theory is that a Chinaman is here only by the accident of birth or to get money, and when it becomes possible he will take his money and go to live and enjoy it in the Flowery Kingdom—Washington Post. Chicago's Maiden Aunts. Chicago is boasting of its "five maiden aunts" and deciding that they have done more toward securing better industrial conditions in that city and in the country at large than any other like number of citizens, men or women, in the world. The "five maiden aunts" are Jane Addams of Hull House, Julia Lathrop, a charity expert; Mary McDowell of the University settlement; Margaret Haley, who organised the 'Teachers' federation, and Dr. Cornelia De Bey, a practicing physician, who secured the settlement of the great stockyard strike by arbitration. Dr. De Bey has also been prominent in investigating factory violations of the child labor law and is a member of the Chicago board of education. Reverable Turbines. One of the objections urged against turbine engines has been their inability to run backward as well as forward. John Ogg of Aberdeen has invented a form of turbine which avoids this difficulty. The steam enters the machine through a hollow axle and thence acts upon the wings of the rotating disks mounted upon the axle. When it is desired to reverse the motion a new set of disks, having their wings set at a reverse angle, are brought into play, and by means of grooved valves the steam is projected against them, thus producing a backward motion. The reversal of motion can be produced instantaneously. Branch Office: 8220 State Street THE IRISH BIRD CHARMER. Wild more or less o' tuneful grace, As fits a Celtic singer, I've praised the "great bird of our race." The stork, the blessin' bringer. When first, my poor roof he came He suddenly wanted to I called him every dacent name That I could lay my tangle to. But, glory be, that praise from me Be pleased the simple crayture His visits here have come to be a sort o' second nature! I'm going to see 'em' then, But, glory be to heaven. If here he isn't back again, An' this is number seven! Och, though this gift o' song may be In many ways o' blessin', It brings some popularity That gets to be distressn!' Now, mind, I love this Irish bird— We couldn't live widout him— An' shure, I will not take back a word I ever said about him. But now when all these mouths to feed Ate up our little savin' the The birds whose visits most we need Are ould Elisha's raven? Better! If they were round these days An' I could make them hear me I'd sing them such a song o' praise 'Twould keep them always near me!' -T. A. Daly in Catholic Standard and Times. Careless Fellow. "Do be careful, Ernest. There won't be any wine left for luncheon."—Pete Mele. Uncle Hiram's Deduction. "Who are them people livin' next door?" asked Mrs. Gadsby's uncle Hiram. "I don't know," she replied. "I's pose they've just moved in." "No. I think they have lived there for a good many years." "Ain't they decent?" "I really don't know. I have never heard anything about them." "Hm! Gosh, you people must be mighty well off!" "What has our financial condition to do with the people who live next door?" "Why, you don't seem to ever have to borrow anything."—Chicago Record-Herald. "Well," replied Miss Pepprey, "from a remark of hers I think you're her choice." "Aw! Really? What did she say?" "She said nobody was good enough to be her husband."—Catholic Standard and Times. His Explanation. A boy was asked to explain the difference between animal instinct and human intelligence. "If we had instinct," he said, "we should know everything we needed to know without learning it, but we've got reason, and so we have to study ourselves most blind or be a fool." What He Wanted. "Well, what do you want?" queried the stereoscopic lecturer as a stranger appeared before him. "Oh, I merely came to get your views," replied the stranger—who proved to be a constable—as he proceeded to levy on the outfit—Chicago News. Reverberating. "Ha, Mrs. Tankaway, I'm not the only one who snores. I just heard you sawing wood." "You're mistaken again, Mr. Tank away. That was the echo of your own snoring that didn't die away for some seconds after you woke up."—Kansas City Times. Providing a Substitute. He started back with indignation. "I am a gentleman, sk," he hotly said, "and I never could demean myself by washing windows. But if you'll hold the job open for a half hour I'll see if I can't get my wife to do it."—Cleveland Plain Dealer. Saving the Plesses. "Why did you steal the horses?" "I was drunk." "Confess the circumstance, and ask the mercy of the court." "Never! The only thing I have left now is my reputation for consistency."—Cleveland Leaver. PATRICK H. O'DONNELL WILLIAM DILLON CLARENCE A. TOOLEN Tel. Central 4680 O'Donnell, Dillon & Toolen ATTORNEYS AT LAW Suite 1218-1219 Ashland Block RANDOLPH & CLARK STREETS CHICAGO ATTORNEYS AT LAW Suite 1114 Ashland Block, Clark and Randolph Sts. Tel. Central 589. CHICAGO. Bradbury St. MacMaster Plaza Telephone Ashland 588 Office Telephones Central 1389 Automobile 5640 MILES J. DEVINE ATTORNEY AT LAW Suite 818-820 Reagan Block CLARK AND WASHINGTON STG. CHICAGO. Phone Main 4153 NOTARY PUBLIC Phone residence, Gray 5670 Walter M. Farmer ATTORNEY AT LAW Suite 708, 171 Washington St. Roz., 4854 Langley Av. CHICAGO JOHN E. OWENS ATTORNEY & COUNSELOR AT LAW 820 ASHLAND BLOCK TELEPHONE CENTRAL 820 CHICAGO A. D. GASH Attorney at Law, 84-86 La Salle Street, Chicago Suite 615 to 619. Telephone Main 3077. Musically Expressed. Westend—What did your wife say when you got home from the stag the other night? Broadway—Nothing at all. She just sat down at the piano and played "Tell Me the Old, Old Story."—Puck. Pertinent Query. "Man's work is from sun to sun, but woman's work is never done," quoted her husband's wife. "Well, why doesn't she stay home occasionally and do it?" queried his wife's husband.—St. Louis Republic. Something In Luck. "Yes," answered the home grown philosopher. "There is a lot of intelligence and perseverance in it."—Detroit Tribune. "A Philippo Snack House. A fine little shack can be built in the Philippines for about $50, one that will last for seven or eight years and even longer with proper care. Bananas and rice grow while you wait. The law requires a native to wear a certain amount of clothing and no more. It never gets cold, so there is no need to save up and provide for long, hard winters, and the sun shines on the just and the unjust alike over there—Travel Magazine. Relative values in testimony. If Spilt Finney and Dr. Lyman Abbott differed diametrically in their relation of an incident observed on a race track the issue might well be decided in favor of the testimony of Finney upon the presumption that he wou'd be the more accurate observer of an occurrence within his special sphere of knowledge.—Law Notes. The New Topcoat. Among the smart models shown for a service coat is one of thin tweed in a two toned stripe of gendarms blue. It is not fastened all the way down, but has extra wide fronts and is fastened slightly double breasted from the brooch to within four inches of the waist. Large buttons are used with braid buttonholes for ornament. There are many pockets, two of which are in the sleeves just below the elbow. A Pleasant Winter Evening. ARE YOU IN SEARCH OF ONE? Then Visit the "Chateau," 6824 State Street, Tenight. There is a fine Picture Show, Roller Skating, Dancing and superb music, refreshments and a jolly good time for good people. No prescription. Special prize program every Saturday and Sunday. Admission, 10 cents—one dime Established city. Phone Guildland address John J. Duna COAL WOOD Wholesale Hardwood Dokker in... Fifty-First St. and Armour Ave. Barn Yard: 200 W. L. A. & M. K. J. Chicago Dr. W. E. MACKEY 4042 Armour Avenue. Phone, Blue 6071. CHICAGO. Hours: 9 to 12 a. m.; 1 to 4 p. m. and Nighta. C. E. Kreyssler Chemist and Druggist 8000 STATE STREET N. E. Cor. 51st St. CHICAGO Telephones: Oakland 246 and Oakland 245 Arthur Johnson Merchant Tailor Strictly First Class and Up-to-Date Work at Reasonable Prices Special Attention Given to Orders for Cleaning, Pressing, Dysing and Repairing Goods Called for. Orders Delivered. 134 W. 51st Street, Chicago J. GARNER Tel. Douglas 389 THE ELITE BUFFET FINE WINES, LADJORS AND CIGARS 2000 State Street CHICAGO Phone Oakland 1538 F. A. Rawlin's The Modern Embalmer UNDERTAKER AND FUNERAL DIRECTOR When his work is finished you have no displeasure. 4817 State Street CHICAGO Phone Douglas 1539 THE BROAD AX. is for sale at the following news stands: A. F. Tervalon, 154 W. 51st street Cigar Store and News Stand. Geo. L. Martin, maker of fine cigars, and news stand, 342 East 31st St. C. H. Green, cigars, tobacco and news stand, 2718 State st. Mrs. Nellie Phelps, Cigars, Notions and News Stand, 131 W. 51st street. T. B. Hall's Cigars Store and Laundry office, 261 26th St. Mrs. Alma A. Simpson, news agent, 1255 State street. W. B. Cole, 354 Thirty-first street, cigars, tobacco and news stand. J. K. Peters Cigars, tobacco and News Stand, 388 R. 57th street. Mrs. A. B. Baker, Notions and News Stand, 419, 30th street. W. P. Johnson, Notions Store and News Stand, 5704 State st. Turner Williams/ Sharing Father and News Stand, 3883 Armour ave. R. Davis, cigars, tobacco, and convenience, 3888 State st. C. C. McLain, cigars, tobacco and news stand, 2906 State street. Mrs. J. W. Hedley 116 W. 51st st. cigars, tobacco and news stand. Standard News Company, 49 W. 155th street, New York City, N. K. M. A. Johnson, news stand, cigars and tobacco, 3812 State Street. The Informer News Co., 188 Randolph St., Delray Beach. The Standard News Co. 131 W. 51st st., New York City, N. K. Cigars, tobacco, and luxury greetings and news stand 5028 Armour ave. WAMSLEY & SON'S Bad Bug and Moth Liquid. Will destroy chicken lice, fleas on cats and dogs, lice on horses and other animals. The Liquid is a disinfectant as well as a healer. "Does not stain." The 15g and 30 boiler and 30 packages of Cookronch and Ant Food are the small orders referred to in our ad. In another column, for which we will accept stamps in payment by out of town orders if desired. [Special Correspondence.] The liveliest question in Washington just now is that of a change in the District form of government. An everybody probably well knows affairs are administered now by a commission of three men appointed by the president, one of whom must be an army engineer. Those opposing the present form of government argue that it lacks in concentration and efficiency, that public matters are delayed by reason of having three heads and that the whole plan is inherently weak and has long been outgrown by the city. There is undoubtedly a growing opinion that a concentration of authority in the District government would simplify the municipal situation and produce better results. The commission plan has its good features. It has long been held up as a model, ideally suited to the needs of the District of Columbia, where suffrage is denied. Favor Single Head. Many substantial citizens and large taxpayers are convinced that a one headed government would work more smoothly and satisfactorily. This is no new conviction on their part. It has been emphasized by recent exhibitions of division in the present triumvirate, it is true, but the advisability of concentrated authority has appealed to them for years. These citizens, however, who honestly believe in the wisdom of a change for the public good, see great danger in going before congress and asking for a change at this time. If by simple act one commissioner or governor could be substituted for the triumvirate they would urge it earnestly and heartily. Fear Unrestricted Suffrage. But they fear the proposition would mean the opening up of the whole question of the relations between the District and federal government, with a possible alteration of the organic act and perchance the granting of unrestricted suffrage. Better suffer the ills we have, they argue, than invite ills we know not of, especially as the ills we now have, though vexations, impose no heavy burdens and involve no maladministration. In other words, they are reluctant to take the chance of jumping from the frying pan into the fire. If the present form of government makes for discord, which is freely admitted, it has, at any rate, not resulted in graft and corruption of affairs here—often clumsy and slow and unsatisfactory, nevertheless has been almost uniformly free from scandal, save in minor places. The integrity of the commissioners themselves has never been brought into question. To Plant Thousands of Trees. There will be more and better trees lining the streets of Washington by next spring than ever before if the plans of the division of trees and parking of the District government are materialized. The officials are busily engaged in planting trees throughout the city, both in the residential and business sections, and it is expected that, if the weather will permit, the department will place in the ground more trees of all varieties this fall than have been planted during any one season in twenty-five years. From District Nurseries. The nurseries of the District government at the foot of E street southeast and in Georgia avenue will supply the trees to be used in beautifying the city. Of the 2,100 to be set out, European sycamores, elms, Norway maples, sugar maples, pin oaks, gingkos and lindens will be in the majority. During the summer the requests of residents for trees to be placed in front of their homes were carefully considered, and whenever it was found advisable to grant the requests workers were sent to these locations and excavations made. These excavations are seven feet long, three and a half feet wide and four feet deep. These were filled with rich earth at the time they were dug. They are now ready for the reception of the trees. Preparing For inauguration. Already Washington is agitated over the inaugural ceremonies and the imposition of William H. Taft into the office of president March 4. Commissioner Macfarland has suggested that a departure be made from the time honored custom of holding the inaugural ball in the pension office. He believes it should be held in the new National museum building, which will be finished in all probability by March 4. Schools of Long Age. The public schools in the District of Columbia were established in 1804, Thomas Jefferson, president of the United States, being the first president of the board. In those early days two kinds of pupils attended the schools, those who paid for instruction and those who did not. Nothing could have been devised to promote class distinction more effectively than such a system. The civil war changed it and made the public school a public school, where all pupils stand on the same equality—that of worth. The awards of merit in these early days suggest the poor boy and girl as winners, for under action of the board in 1825 a suit of clothes was authorized to be presented to the most proficient boy and a freck to the girl. The first real effort to establish public schools in the county was under the law of Aug. 11, 1826, which provided for primary instruction of white children outside of Washington and Georgetown. A dislike on the part of the property owners to be taxed for the education of the poor and to avoid having their children associate with their inferiors in wealth caused the plan to fail. CARL SCHOFIELD. Sympathy For a Bachelor. A bachelor member of the senate, who recently addressed a young woman and had his offer rejected, went to Senator Hopkins of Illinois for sympathy and advice. Senator Hopkins is known to have a very sympathetic nature, and he listened patiently to the bachelor senator's tale of woe. When the whole harrowing narrative was finished Mr. Hopkins looked at his lovesick friend critically. The latter would not be classed as a handsome man. As a matter of fact, he is probably one of the homeliest men in the senate. "Guess I'll tell you a story," said the junior Illinois senator, with a smile. "You have heard of Uncle Dick Oglesby, of course? Well, he was a very famous man in his day and one of the biggest governors my state has F. ever had. One day Uncle Dick, as every one affectionately called him, visited the state penitentiary at Joliet to hear complaints of prisoners, inspect the premises, etc. The governor stopped before a cell containing an unusually ugly man. The bachelor senator laughed at first, but a moment later, when the application of the story dawned on him, he flew into a rage and hastened away. It was fully a week before he would deign to speak to the junior senator from Illinois. Taft's Latest Fish Story. Justice Harlan, says Joe Mitchell Chapple in the National Magazine, told a story to Judge Taft of how he went out to play golf in a fog. He thought he would drive the ball and sent it off at a "hazard." He came to the caddie and asked him to find the ball, looking within a radius of 800 yards. The caddie's eyes stuck out. "I done found dat ball, judge. It am in a hole sure nough. It jest wiggle in like." It was certainly remarkable that a drive through the fog should place a ball where the most earnest effort of two to twenty strokes may fall in broad daylight. Judge Taft responded with a fishing story, also about a fog. He went out one day in a wagon to fish, and the fog came down thick. He drew up where he thought the stream ought to be, cast his line, felt a pull and hauled in a fine trout—another bite and another, until the wagon was filled. The fog lifted, and the wagon was 300 yards from the river! There was a silence which might be felt when Judge Taft concluded, and Justice Harlan told no more fog stories. S. E. Cor. State and 36th Place, Chicago Telephone Douglas 1565 WHERE EVERY PATRON Saves ON EVERY PURCHASE 3 per cent allowed on Savings Accounts Safety Deposit Vaults, $3.00 per Year Jacob Feinberg Wholesale and Retail MARKET AND GROCERY TELEPHONE DOUGLAS 565 81st and State Streets BRADLEY & FIELDS REAL ESTATE, LOANS AND INSURANCE E. JACKSON FUNERAL DIRECTOR 2959-61 STATE ST., CHICAGO Branch: 1310 Bingham St., Pittsburg, Pa. Fine Garriages for Hire to Parties and Weddings. Phone Oakland 1787. THE RAILROAD INN Imported and Domestic Wines Liquors & Cigars Cafe in Connection N. E. Corner Fifty-first and Armour Avenue, Chicago, IL. President and Treasurer, THOMAS CAREY. Vice-President, JOHN SHELHAMER. Secretary, WILLIAM SULLIVAN. MANUFATURERS OF "CAN'T SLEEP, BED BUGS" WILL YOU scratch and tumble all night, when our Bed Bug and Moth Liquid will clear beds and walls of these miserable vermin? Also kills lice on chickens, cow or colt. Cost, half gallon, 75c; gallon, $1.25; 5 gallon can, $4.50. A 50c package of Cockroach and Ant Feed banishes them. Booklet, "Extermination of Insects," sent postpaid on request. Remit stamps for small orders, large by P. O. order or registered mail. Common and Sewer Brick Office and Yards: Old Sol is at his merriest, jolliest best right now in California Why not take a trip out there this Winter? For booklets on California write Union Pacific SouthernPacific E. L. LOMAX, Gen. Pass, Agent Omaha, Neb. An Underfain Speculation. "Jane has a caustic tongue. I asked her the other day why she didn't marry some old man for his money." "What did she say?" "She said the increase in the duration of human life and the depression in stocks made the speculation too uncertain. But she added that she would marry a rich old man under one condition." "What was that?" "He must be a chronic aeroplaniist." Cleveland Plain Dealer. A man hates faint praise worse than he hates abuse. The little things get together and cause big troubles. Every one tblinks he gives as much to the poor as his means will allow. A genius is a man who knows how to do only one thing and knows how to do that well. A man is never so humble that his opinion is not worth quoting when favorable to you. Roosters are a good deal like men. A rooster never gives notice of having found a worm until after he has swallowed it. Stove Heated Flats