Cayton's Weekly

Cayton's Weekly PRICE FIVE CENTS CAYTON'S WEFKLY Subscription $2 per year in advance. HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON..Editor and Publisher Entred as second class matter, August 18, 1916, at the post office at Seattle, Wash., under the Act of March 3rd, 1916. TELEPHONE: BEACON 3579 Office 317 22nd Ave. South DEATH IN THE POT From a colored man's standpoint in the United States, life is "just one damn thing after another," and while he is often directly responsible for many of his troubles, yet, once in them, and the aftermath is doubly severe with him to what it is with a white man guilty of a like or even more agri vated offense. The recent lynching of three colored men in Duluth, Minnesota, is a fair sample of the extreme penalty that is meeted out to colored men by white men, owing to the fact that the white men are overwhelmingly in the majority, almost in every community throughout this country. "Might makes right." Whether the accused men were guilty or innocent did not figure in the punishment they were elected to receive, but they were black and any time a black person is accused of crime he or she is unqualifiedly guilty though he or she really be innocent. In other words, if this black devil did not do it then some black devil must have done it and what's the "dif," which one of them is punished. The scenes of Omaha are still fresh in the minds of fair-thinking white and black folk and the causes for that murder and holocust were found to be too shocking and revolting, from a white man's standpoint, to be put in print. The country by and large has waited patiently for Gen. Leonard Wood's report on the causes of the Omaha race riot, but, Wood, being a candidate for the U. S. presidency, concluded that, so far as that report was concerned, "silence was golden." We truly hope the "seventeen-year-old white girl," about whom the three Duluth Negroes were lynched, was not like unto the Omaha white girl, about whom one Negro was lynched and the town almost destroyed, who, it is said, fomented the trouble to get even with an accomplice in crime, but since three Negroes have been lynched to protect the innocence of white women, it's hoped that that Duluth white girl was actually abused by the accused and that they paid the penalty, awful as it was, justly for their viciousness. We oppose capital punishment; we oppose mob law and we oppose Judge Lynch, but we have little or no care what befalls any man, who will violently attempt to rob a woman, and doubly so if she be one in tender years, of her innocent virtue. But we can not figure out why "three vicious Negroes" would, at one and the same time, seek to rape a seventeen-year-old girl. Many lynchings of Negroes have come under our observation from time to time, and we speak without bias or prjudice, and we have yet to know of a lynching on account of a white woman, where the woman herself was not of a more or less questionable character, and the accused Negro had ventured into the fatal pitfal by some form of an invitation. Be it remembered that in most communities of this country that it is equally criminal for a Negro to cohabit with a white woman, be she of young and tender years, as it is for him to violently rape her. Even white women are not all angels, though a great majority of them may be, and knowing the public feeling along this line, as the most of them do, is it not barely possible that some of them with vicious turns of mind would take advantage of the situation and play even with a black beau brummel for a fancied grievance? The whole situation is an ugly one and should be handled by the rulers of this land in a spirit of fairness, in a spirit of Godliness and in a spirit of humaneness, and be it remembered at all times that though one be black yet he is the creature of the selfsame God as that of the white man. We call to mind the recent lynching of a colored man in Kansas, who was accused of attacking a white girl, and in the attack he was accompanied by a white man, who, unlike his black associate, was not lynched, and, so far as the outside world knows, he was not even punished, save a nominal fine imposed for being in company with a Negro. That was racial intolerance and racial intolerance is responsible for more anti-Negro outbreaks, raeo riots, lynchings and speedy trials of accused colored men than the actual crimes they commit. This country now has an amalgamated Negro-Caucasian population of quite six million, which is by no means due to the criminal associations of colored men and white women, but it is due to the criminal associations of white men with colored women, and it does seem to us, what is sauce for the gander should likewise be sauce for the goose. Who knows but that this wave of lynching colored men in the North is but southern propaganda to extend the violent anti-Negro sentiment of the South to the North and thereby enlist the northern white man, who has been the black man's friend, into aiding and abetting the southern white man in peonaging the colored man. What strange things come to our mind when we think of five thousand white men battering down jails to deal summary punishment on a colored man for abusing a young white girl, when it is taking almost the entire efforts of the welfare workers of this country in every city and hamlet to protect the young white girls from the brutal passions of their white brethren. God pitty us all and pitty us both and then give us the spirit to do unto others as we would have others do to us and thereby make more easy the coming of the millenium dawn. Lest ye forget permit us to reprint the detailed report of the lynchings last year, which report, be it remembered, was made up by southern white men and not by colored men, and you will get some idea of how trivial a matter may cause the lynching of a colored man: Circulating incendiary literature ..... 1 Member of Non-Partisan League ..... 1 Trouble between white and colored cotton mill workers ..... 1 Abetting riot ..... 4 Causes unknown ..... 4 Total ..... 84 The white men of this country make the laws for the regulation of its citizens; the white men enforce the laws and the white men execute the laws and we see no excuse for them not letting the law take its course however heinous the crime may be—two wrongs never make a right. We're going to lynch a nigger and I'm to pull the trigger, which will cover up his face and send him into space. I would like for you to go, to help us make a show, and holler very, very loud to draw a bigger crowd, and save us from the law of bringing us to taw. The law as you must know is always very slow, when many voters of the see pull off a first class lynching bee. It was down in Tennessee, where all niggers ought to be, where I learned to do the trick that makes the niggers sick., but it's lots and lots of fun, to see the niggers run, and fight to get away from those thats standing on the hay, but we shoot him in the leg, then listen to him beg, "please misters save my life, for my children and my wife," and we tell him he can take, his wife and children to the lake, through which he soon will pass, and that will be his last. Then we build a roaring fire for the nigger's funeral pyre, and we punch him in the snout with a burning red hot spout, and much enjoyy his awful howl, as though he had been treated foul. I love to see the boys fight, over a finger from the nigger's right or for a well shaped ear, a souviner for a little dear. The nigger's prayer to be shot, when jugged with irons burning hot, make all around just jump for joy and echo back, "my, atta boy." But when his eyes are good and green, its time to bring the gasoline and throw him on the burning pyre and watch the all-consuming fire. It's lots of fun to a nigger lynch and watch his body flinch and now Minnesota is just as fine as Mississippi's hills of pine. JUSTICE TO ALL! When war's mad guns were roaring, When deadly bombs were soaring, When the land called for men, Who sneered about complexion? Who scorned his brave protection Or slurred the dark man then? His virtues then were lauded. His daring deeds applauded. His courage not denied. For home and country standing. Justice and right demanding. His race was glorified. Ingratitude is hateful! 'Tis base to be ungrateful. God, save us from disgrace! No man should be inhuman. Each man should be a true-man And just to every race! Away with persecution! With righteous resolution To wrong a race refuse! Color, all men inherit. Judge everyone by merit And give to each his dues! Wm. D. Totten. Seattle, June 15th, 1920. ```markdown ``` REPUBLICANISM, NOW AND BEFORE If the Republican party can not win the coming eleticon with Harding and Coolidge as standard bearers then it would not be able to win with any one. Two cleaner cut men could nowhere be found than they and no Republican will have to apololize for either of them and no Republican has any excuse to criticise them. They were the choice of neither the old guard nor the progressives, but the choice of the delegates to the Republican National Convention, irrespective of factions. Hi Johnson and Leonard Wood can work as earnestly for the election of the ticket as can the colored delegates, who attended the convention, and with every body working and pulling together Woodrow Wilsonsim, including the crown prince, will be blotted completely off of the map. Charles E. Hughes was defeated four years ago first, on account of an arrogant set in charge of his campaign headquarters, who made up their minds that the small fry (?) Republicans of the West should have no voice in the campaign, and in fact to them, it was immaterial as to whether they voted the Republican ticket at all as the East would elect the candidate regardless of the West, but the idees of November told a different story, and we trust no such blunder will be made this year and that Republicans all over the country will be called upon to do their full duty. If any Republican can carry Ohio. Harding can, and Coolidge's ability to handle Massachusetts has already been thoroughly demonstrated. As a whole the ticket is a most pleasing one and should and will win. It is now only believed that the three Duluth Negroes assaulted that seventeen year old girl but the Negroes are dead and can not get the benefit of the doubt, however "they were only niggers" and the affair will soon blow over. Once, twice Hi Johnson has defeated the Republican presidential ticket, but he will have a darn hard time doing so the third tnie and he had just as well quit sulking in his tent over the results of the late Chicago convention and get behind the nominees. Cayton's Weekly READABLE RELIABLE REPUBLICAN Will Help You If You Will Help It EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS That a fool and his money soon part, Carouso is now ready to say, " 'pon my honor, I'll say so." In as much as the city owns her street car system competing jitneys should be put out of business. At the coming Democratic convention Gen. Booze promises to be on hand with bells on his fingers. Killing out the police protection graft in Seattle is some job and if Searing does it then he surely is some man. After three men had been brutally murdered the Minnesota militia rushed to Duluth and protected the police. Reading Bryan out of the Democratic party is some job and W. W. will have his hands full to turn the trick. If Ann Sawyer will only commercialize her newspaper notoriety she has a fortune at her command. A fool for luck. Next Monday Mayor Caldwell is to fly to Portland and he may fly so high that he won't come back 'till the Fourth of July. Summer is expected on Puget Sound after July 4th and that date can not come any too soon for the pleasure of the community. Getting too far from home in your auto these gas shortage times may mean that your auto is gonig to be away from home a long time. Uncle Sam is so anxious to lay hands on Jack Johnson that he has a pipe dream about his arrest on every change of the moon. Bill Skinner and Dave Rogers though they lifted fortunes for themselves like unto the genii of old, will soon be completely forgotten. Those political candidates who are without natural smiles might borrow some for the ensuing two months as they will come in handy. There may be such a thing as an unkissed man, but if so, he got lost in the jungles, where not even monkeys, apes or baboons are to be found. Organized labor seems to have a mental fear of Japanese labor and is appealing to our government to save them from the little brown men. With Japan regulating the Orient and W. W. regulating the Occident the world rests on the shoulders of two more or less disgruntled rulers. Having made a jimdandy riproaring out of sight deal for an aviation field Claude Ramsay will continue the good work by breaking dirt today. They neither got Jack Dempsey's money nor his goat, both of which must have been a sad disappointment to a whole bunch of grafters and persecutors. Already there seems to be a bit of doubt in the mind of the Associated Press about the unfortunate Duluth colored men having raped a seventeen year old white girl. Not being able to get a graft out of the airplane site by the County Commissioners of King county the real estate sharks are showing the whites of their eyes. A thief hates to get left. A. D. SMITH B. BIRD Proprietors Phone Beacon 113 B & B PANATARIAN Cleaning, Pressing and Repairing Ladies Work a Specialty We Call for and Deliver TRY JIMMIE THE SHINE KING Shine Parlor for Ladies and Gents 1218 Jackson Street If Bob LaFollette is the best the Fortyeighters can do in the way of presidential timber then they will not even muddy the water, to say nothing of catching the fish. Presidential preparations having been completed the smiling face of Roland H. Hartley of Everett with gubernatorial aspirations is almost daily seen in Seattle. With only Miller, Inglis and Gill in the race for representative in Congress from the Seattle-Kitsap district so far as the voters are concerned it would be a true case of Hobson's choice. According to a report it cost the Republicans upwards of four million bones to lead Hughes to defeat four years ago. Now, with H. C. L. it is reasonable to presume it will cost twice that amount to lead Harding to victory. If all of the avowed gubernatorial candidates for the Republican nomination in this state are one-half as strong as they declare they are then its a safe bet that twenty-one per cent of the entire vote cast will nominate and that would not be much of a party reflection as to a real choice. Mabel, aged seven, led off after the Sunday blessing with a story she had heard on the way home from Sunday school. "A little boy," said Mabel, "who went to ball games said Sunday school wasn't much different from ball games, because at Sunday school they sang "Stands Up for Jesus,' and at the ball game they said—" "Mabel!" cried the horrified family in unison, "don't tell that story!" "Why?" asked Mabel. "Have you all heard it?" "Of course, and it's—" "Well, then," proceeded Mabel, calmly, "it won't hurt you to hear me tell it." George, the elderly waiter, entered the office of the famous solicitor who usually lunched at his table in a certain restaurant and asked to see the chief. "Well, George," asked the man of law, when the waiter was shown in, "what can I do for you? In trouble?" "No sir, not exactly that; but I've got a chance of a good job at the Hotel Splendide, and I was wondering if you'd be so kind as to write me a testimonial, saying I'm a good waiter, and honest, and so forth, sir?" "Well, George, of course I know you're a good waiter, but I don't know anything else about you. How do I know, for example, that you're honest?" "Oh, well, I am, sir. You'll be quite safe in saying that." "Very good. I'll write it, then." Thank you very much indeed, sir! And if at any time you come to the Splendide and want a good lunch or dinner, be sure to come to my tables, and I'll make you out a bill at half-price." Andrew Johnson, Negro, of Georgia, father of quadruplets, three boys and a girl, never overlooks a business opportunity. The day following the arrival of the four "pick-ninnies" white citizens journeyed out to the little log cabin on the outskirts of the town to loko 'em over. Andrew whereupon painted a sign and nailed it to his door. The sign read: "Come and see the babies. Admission, adults, 50 cents; children, 25 cents." Money rolled in. "I sure needed a lot o' things a heap worse than dem four chillun," Andrew said; "but you got to take dem as dey come." In a crowded omnibus a stout woman vainly endeavored to get her fare out of the pocket of her cloak, which was tightly buttoned as a precaution against pickpockets. After she had been working in vain for some minutes a gentleman seated on her right said, "Please allow me to pay your fare." The lady declined with some acerbity and recommenced her attacks on the pocket. After these had continued for some little time her fellow-passenger said: "You really must let me pay your fare. You have already undone my suspenders three times and I can not stand it any longer." THE PASSING THRONG Bill Jones was of some renown, among the good folks of his town, for he did read, write and walk, and, in a pinch, could make a talk, and he was Johnny on the job, if there was danger of a mob! But Bill was often in a fix, because the fellow couldn't mix, and thus he often was abused, by those who felt themselves misused. However, little things like that, didn't cause Bill Jones to spat! He realized that he was short in handing out the bull corn snort. But Bill possessed a lot of brats, to him as coy as little cats, among them was a hondsome boy, who looked to Bill just like a toy. That boy had faults, but not to Bill, and always was his sugar pill. "No one you think so good as Sam," came rumbling from a little clam. "Not so my friend," Bill Jones replied, and the allegation is defied. To me four others are as good, his sisters and his brotherhood, and I simply want the world to know, that my five children make my show, and no other kids, to me's as nice as my five cunning little mice." Bill looked a prince when so he said, and every father bowed his head. Who doesn't think his children best, is not a father but a pest, and nature should those children take, then cast him in a briny lake, where salt might save his feeble mind or see that he go totally blind, and all of them would look alike, yet none of them would be his Mike. Then love your children best of all, and then all children will love your call, and you will be the grand old man for every kiddie in this land. *** Within the present summer season I had hoped to see a great majority of the colored citizens of the Puget Sound country brought together in a great outpouring, and it occurred to me that the Seattle branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People would be the proper organization to lead such a get-together, but at this writing it hardly seems probable. This, of all years, should be the year for the colored citizens to seek to have the white citizens fully understand them. I am of the opinion that much can be accomplished by reasoning together, but without a coming together this can never be accomplished. In times past the various churches of the city have had some such meeting as mentioned above, but for the most part those who attended were church members and the anti-church citizens gave it little or no consideration. I would be glad to see Wildwood Park across Lake Washington secured and a general basket picnic pulled off, and no charge attached thereto except the price of getting to and from the park. The park can also be reached by automobile as it lays by the side of the "round the lake boulevard," and it is safe to say five hundred automobiles would drive out. A long story short, it would be a magnificent August outing. *** Someone called my attention to the fact that all of the avowed candidates for sheriff of King county were born in a foreign country. Matt Starwitch was born in Austria, Bob Hodge in Scotland, Frank Gordon in Canada and Joe Warren in Missouri. "But," commented a friend, "Missouri is not a foreign country, its a part of our own U. S. A.." and I had heard that before, but "you've got to show me." However, where one was born has nothing whatever to do with his actions as a man and a public official. I feel certain that regardless of where the above candidates were born, any one of them would make a good sheriff. I look upon Warren, Hodge and Starwich as all strong candidates and whichever one is nominated, he will remember the other two were after him. Warren has opened headquarters in the Epler block, while Hodge is using his office in the Railway Exchange block and Matt Starwich is still doping out stuff from the sheriff's office. * * * A half block away I got the glimpse of Ed A. Pitter and he also saw me and then a smile spread all over his face and I concluded it was a case of triplets and all boys, but not so, it was, "I've just moved into the home I recently purchased and here's a picture of it." I looked the picture over and said to him, you were perfectly justified in giving me that tripletlike smile for, just now, the possession of such a home is more to be desired than three bouncing boys. Mr. Pitter's home is in a fine residential section of the city and the yard is beautifully set to expensive shrubbery. And so the colored citizens of Seattle continue to acquire good homes, which is very commendable. * * * In talking with B. F. Tutt a few days ago I learned that Prof. Kelly Miller will lecture in Seattle July 27th, which was a pleasing bit of news. Some two years ago he lectured in Seattle and his talk was one of the most generally pleasing ones that I had ever heard in Seattle, and I have heard many. I think more colored folks turned out to hear him than turned out to hear any other colored speaker that had ever visited the city, and not one of them was disappointed, but I trust those having charge of his itinerary will try to interest the white citizens in his coming the same as the colored citizens, for he will bring to the white citizens a more important message than to the colored citizens. All Seattle and Everett Masons will unite in celebrating St. John's Day at Grace Presbyterian Church Sunday, June 20, at 3 P.M. An appropriate program has been arranged by the committee for the occasion. Rev. J. B. Barbour, the pastor, will deliver the sermon and the Sisters of the Eastern Star will serve lunch. All Masons in good standing in Seattle and vicinity are invited to participate and members of the Eastern Stars to attend. Masons participating are requested to meet at Hercules Lodge, corner 21st Ave. and Jefferson St. at 2 p. m. and march to church in a body. White gloves and aprons only will constitute the regalia for the occasion. PURELY PERSONAL Mr. George Moore, who has been acting as secretary to Judge Neterer, was forced to give way to an overseas man. Mr. Moore is a very capable man and is looking for an opening. Mr. and Mrs. Alonzo Laning are rejoicing over the recent arrival of a sweet little baby girl and mother and baby are a one, while Mrs. Lanning, the baby's grandmother, is oh, so happy. Mrs. J. M. Evans was slightly injured in an automobile accident last Tuesday evening. Her car was also damaged. The mock convention given by Dr. Cooper and others at the Grace Presbyterian Church in the interest of the Mt. Zion Baptist Church was a splendid success. Mrs. S. T. McCants is rapidly recovering from her recent illness. Her mother has been with her since she (Mrs. Graham) returned from St. Louis. His friend noticed that the dentist was looking blue and inquired, "What's the matter, Joe?" "Why, I've had an ulcerated tooth and yesterday it got so bad I had to pull it myself." "Did you get relief?" "Oh, yes." "Then why this grouch?" "Why this grouch? Because, you idiot, I once got $400 for treating a tooth like that." A small girl in a street car was trying to say something which her mother appeared to be greatly trying to suppress. Several times the little one started, and each time the mother leaned over to her and enjoined silence. When the mother thought her child had been effectually squelched the youngster blurted out: "I don't care. That lady over there says 'aint' and it goes 'isn't.'" GENERAL SMUTS SPEAKS (New York Times) General Smuts has given a remarkable interview to the London Daily Chronicle correspondent at Cape Town. He began with a laughing allusion to the lugubrious prophecies so often uttered in regard to South Africa. "I am often asked what is the future of South Africa," he said. "It reminds me of the French ambassador who once met Catherine of Russia when that remarkable sovereign was a young woman. 'What an awful future is written on that brow,' recorded the diplomat in his journal. We also in this country are supposed to have an awful future. Something dreadful is always going to happen. "Well, we are making a great experiment. We are trying to make black and white live together in peace, and work out a civilization which does justice to both. We have our troubles and our difficulties, but we have not been, I think, altogether unsuccessful. That problem absorbs most of our attention today. "This country does not wish to be selfish, but it wants to keep away from European entanglements. France, without the assent of her partners in the alliance, adopts most drastic military measures against Germany, calculated, one would suppose, to destroy the last vestige of government and to bring her to the condition of Russia. Russia is invaded by Poland, who has declared war upon her, for that is what it amounts to. Here is Poland, starving, kept going by foreign loans, making war on Soviet Russia. Formerly Poland was crushed between the upper and nether millstones of Germany and Russia. Today her imperialistic action invites a repetition of the old process. "At San Remo you have conferences going on to resume trade relations with Rus'the safety of Europe. In Poland you have sia, which are declared to be necessary for Marshal Pilsudski making war on Russia, though large parts of Poland are starving and typhus is raging. What, then, is the league of nations doing that it can not stop this? It ought to have said to Poland, 'This can not be.' It ought to have prevented these operations, and yet the official answer in the House of Commons is, 'This is not a new war, but the old one. Great Britain was not consulted, and it is not a case for the league to interfere.' Who, then, is to interfere? Poland is an ally member of the league of nations and yet can not be checked in this enterprise. "You can not defeat Russia. Napoleon learned that lesson, and now Denikin and Kolchak have learned it, too. Sooner or later Pilsudski will likewise learn the lesson. Then when Lenin and Trotzky are marching on Warsaw he will come to the league perhaps for help. "I am apprehensive. I see only chaos in all this, no authority or restraint. Old empires have disappeared. At least they kept smaller nations in order. There is nothing to put in their place for the great powers see to it that the league has no vital force behind it. Are statesmen in Europe really deeply in earnest about the chaos to which the Old World is drifting?" "From this distance I gather that Bolshevism is moderating its violence. One can not always be mad. There must come a time when the fiercest fires die down. But the way to revive Bolshevism, to rally all Russia to the Soviet government, is to invade the country and annex large slices of it. French missions and American munitions apparently enable Poland to carry on her offensive for the present. What do the great powers do? Nothing but shrug their shoulders." Little Johnnie, while lunching with his aunt one evening, shocked that estimable lady by licking his spoon clean before putting it in the sugar-bowl. "Johnnie," remonstrated auntie, "stop, that is a dirty thing to do." "Oh, don't worry, auntie; it's all right. My mouth is just as clean as anything. Ma washed it out with soap this morning." --- ```markdown ``` STOLEN FROM THIEVES Customer—Waiter, give me some hash, please. Waiter (ex-army cook, shouting back to the cook)—Clean up the kitchen.—American Legion Weekly. "I see where a number of wealthy Americans sojourning in Cuba have formed a club." "What do they call their organization?" "The 'Tank Corps.'"—Birmingham Age-Herald. "It seems to me I have already heard some of the stories told by this monologist." "Perhaps you have." "Yes?" "He's a retired bartender who has gone into vaudeville."—Houston Post. Stammering Lieutenant—Does anybody know where I put-put-put my put-put-put-put-tees? Captain (in next room)—Ah! They've got that Ford to working at last.—Dertoit Free Press. "You claim there are microbes in kisses?" she asked the young doctor. "There are." he said. "What disease do they bring?" she asked. "Palpitation of the heart."—Ladies' Home Journal. “Isn’t Miss Priscilla Knowitall a professor in that girls’ college any more?” “Oh, no; she’s gone way up in the world since she was there. She’s getting a cook’s pay now.”—Baltimore American. “Any malaria around here?” inquired the stranger. “I dunno,” answered Uncle Bill Bottletop, very cautiously. “Did you come prepared with any special medicine for it?”—Washington Star. "A decent husband should give his wife all the money she wants," argued Mrs. Gabb. "What are you talking about?" demanded Mr. Gabb. "There isn't that much money." Cincinnati Enquirer. "I intend to start on a sea voyage tomorrow. "Are you going because you want to get a view of reconstructed Europe?" "No; I am going because I want to get a drink."—Baltimore American. "How is Mrs. Gadder getting along in driving her new car?" "She's learning." "Good!" "Yes. She learned yesterday that although sidewiping a fire plug doesn't damage the fire plug particularly, it leaves an automobile looking much the worse for wear.—Birmingham Age-Herald. "Your business college for young ladies seems to be all right." "It is all right." "Do you give the girls a good, practical business training?" "In reply to that question I can only say that 60 per cent of our graduates marry their employers the first year."—London Telegraph. "I like to wander in the park." "The birds sing sweetly." "Yes; and they never sing ragtime."—Pittsburgh Post. Young Musician—Now, professor, how do my compositions please you? Professor—Why. I think that they may perhaps be played when Mozart, Haydn, Mendelssohn, and Meyerbeer have been forgotten. Young Musician — Really? Professor — Certainly; but not until then.—Musical Courier. "What is the best way of getting hard cash?" "Working some soft thing."—Baltimore American. Briggs—Clayton's wife must be back from her Western trip. Griggs—How do you know? Briggs—I see Clayton driving out to the golf club in a taxi.—Life. General Wood was once assigned by the War Department to entertain one of several German officers visiting this country. The two men were automobiling one day along the Connecticut coast. Wood last his way, stopped his machine, and took out his road map. He was trying to find the quickest --- route to a town to which he and his German friend were making their way. "If you will go ahead a mile, general," said the German, "you will find a good road to the right that will take us there." The German had never been in the United States before and had never visited that part of the country. "How the devil do you know so much about our roads?" asked the American. "Oh, you know, general," the visitor replied, "this is my section of the American coast." "They say now that there must be a law passed for the arrest of parlor bolshevists." "Who's to do the arresting—the kitchen police?"—Wichita Eagle. The Caller—Are you known as Mrs. Freemeter, your husband's pen name? The Poet's Wife—No, I'm known as Mrs. Smith; that's my washtub name.—Houston Post. "How was it that Miss Carol, with that fine singing voice of hers, couldn't get into musical comedy"? "I guess the managers thought it would set too bad a precedent." “My dear lady, these literary afternoons of yours are a great help to us brain workers.” “I am so glad.” “Yes, it's the one place I can go and be sure of getting a complete rest.”—Life. “Oh, Mrs. 'Ieks, I'm so upset! Our little Johnny's lost!’” “Well, 'e'll be found all right. Everybody about 'ere knows 'im.'” “Nobody'll know 'im today—'eos I've just washed 'im.'”—Passing Show. "How did Blank lose the fingers of his right hand?" "Put them in the horse's mouth to see how many teeth he had." "And then what happened?" "The horse closed his mouth to see how many fingers Blank had."—London Tit-Bits. Jessie—Have you mentioned leap year in the presence of you beau as yet? Tessie—Do I look foolish enough to pull a scare like that on a shy young man and I not knowing where my next steady is coming from?—Buffalo Express. A dozen or more young gentlemen of the crap-shooting classes were engaged in their favorite outdoor sport on a Brooklyn street corner, when suddenly a cop swooped down from nowhere upon them. In two jumps the IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington. Mary McBride, Plaintiff, vs. Willie Craven McBride, Defendant—No. 143206. Summons by Publication. The State of Washington, To the said Craven McBride, Defendant: You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to-wit: within sixty days after the 15th day of May, 1920, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled Court and answer the complaint of the plaintiff and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for the plaintiff at his office below stated and in case of your failure so to do judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint which has been filed with the Clerk of said Court. The object of the above entitled action is to obtain a divorce on the ground of cruelty and non-support. Z. B. RAWSON, Attorney for Plaintiff. P. O. Address; 617 Pacific Block, Seattle, King County, Washington. May 15, June 24, 1920. 1000 1000 Thousands of Barrels of Refreshing, Exhilerating, Intoxicating Music Poured Out Nightly at the Entertainer's Cabaret 1238 Main Street By the Best SYNCOPATED ORCHESTRA on the Coast DON'T MISS IT ENTERTAINER'S CABARET GILLIE RICHARDSON RUSSELL WALTON whole outfit were halfway to the East River. The cop didnt bother to pursue. He stooped down and scooped up the change, and as it jingled into his pocket he said, "Seven come eleven, and win dinner money." Wife—Do you expect to get to heaven by hanging on to my skirts? Husband—No; but I might by showing St. Peter the bills for them.—Boston Transcript. "Oh, dear, I'm bothered to death." "Over what?" "Two men want to marry me and I can't tell which to accept." "I'd take the one I loved the best." "Why, that is a unique idea. It never occurred to me. I'll think it over along those lines."—Louisville Courier-Journal. IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington for the County of King. Edward Sweeney and Katherine Sweeney, his wife, plaintiffs, vs. May S. Jones, John Doe Jones, her husband, F. P. Kelly and Jane Doe Kelly, his wife, Defendants.—No. 142,329. Summons by Publication. You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to-wit: within sixty days after the 1st day of May, A. D. 1920, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled Court, and answer the complaint of the plaintiffs, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for plaintiff at his office below stated; and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint, which has been filed with the Clerk of said Court. The object of the said action and the relief sought to be obtained therein is fully set forth in said complaint, and is briefly stated as follows: Cancellation of real estate contract for conditions broken and effecting East 187 feet of the North 285 feet of tract 22 of Lake Dell Addition to the City of Seattle, King County, Washington. Z. B. RAWSON, Attorney for Plaintiffs. P. O. Address: 617 Pacific Block, Seattle, County of King, Washington. May 1-June 19, 1920. You Are Welcome GREAT NORTHERN POOL AND BILLIARD HALL Cigars, Tobacco and Soft Drinks. BOYD & WILLIAMS, Props. 1032 Jackson St. SANDERS & COMPANY LOANS NEGOTIATED 1003-1004 L. C. Smith Building Office Hours From 8:30 A. M. to 5:30 P. M. Seattle, Wash. Elliott 4662 Phone East 179 Calls Made Promptly Day or Night LEWIS & BLACKWELL FUNERAL DIRECTORS and EMBALMERS H. Alfred Lewis, Funeral Director 1215 East Marion St., Seattle ATLAS POOL HALL Under New Management Wishes You a Happy New Year FELIX CRANE, Manager 1212 Main Street FURNISHED ROOMS 317 22nd Ave. So. Rooms large and commodious, on car line, but walking distance. MRS. S. R. CAYTON 317 22nd Ave. So. ALHAMBRA CASH GROCERY Distributor of Mme. C. J. Walker's Hair and Skin preparations. Mail, postal and express orders promptly filled. 1201-3 Jackson St., Seattle, Wash. 1101 Washington St., Seattle, Wash. Phone Main 4573. Hair Culture and Scalp Specialist. Will call at your home if desired. Graduate of Oxford College, St. Louis.