The American Citizen

THE AMERICAN CITIZEN. The Oldest Negro Paper devoted to the Race in this Section LIBERAL COMMISSION PAID REL ABLE AGENTS FOR THIS PAPER CALL HERE Men as Actresses. Japan boasts of several brilliant actors, but, strangely enough, she affords no encouragement to actresses. Women's parts are played by men, and played excellently well, too. Japanese boys who are destined for a stage career are brought up entirely by members of the feminine sex. By the time that they are midway in their teens they have acquired all the usual female characteristics. Sultan's Titles. The sultan of Turkey has seventy-one titles and on the parchment containing them are the words "as many more as may be desired can be added to this number." Among the titles are "Abdul Hamid, the Eternally Victorious," "the, Eternally Smiling," "the Eternally Invincible," "Distributor of Crowns to the Heroes Seated on the Thrones" and "Shadow of God on Earth." Longevity in Europe. Longevity in Europe Of all European countries France is the most favorable to longevity; of every 1,000 persons forty-four reach the age of seventy. In Norway the number is forty, in Sweden thirty-three, Italy thirty-one, Switzerland thirty, England twenty-seven, Germany twenty-six, Spain twenty-four, Austria twenty-three, Hungary eighty. Can't Interfere "Your daughter plays a great deal of classical music in a rather original way," remarked the man with gold glasses. "Yes," answered Mr. Cumrox, regretfully. "She bought the piano and the music out of her own spending money, and I suppose she feels that she has a right to do what she pleases with them." Deer Swifter Than Electric Car. A deer was found on the car track at Sturbridge the other day which when started a run swiftly along the ties ahead of the car. The motorman opened the controller to the last notch, but the animal led the car for a full quarter of a mile and then leaped lightly over the fence and disappeared. Value of Moderate Eating. Value of Moderate Eating. No matter what kind of food is taken, the quantity should be small. The human body can live and thrive and work on a surprisingly small quantity of nourishment. Great moderation in eating is, therefore, one of the keys that unlock the doors on bag living. Greatest Misfortune of Life. Mayors appear to have had their troubles two centuries ago. At bielefeld, Germany, there is a tombstone with this inscription: "Here lies Johannes Burggreve, who considered his election as burgmaster of this city the greatest misfortune of his life." The Day's Length. By a simple rule, the length of the day and night, any time of the year, may be ascertained by doubling the time of the sun's rising, which will give the length of the night; and double the time of setting will give the length of the day. Cold Baths vs. Drunkenness Bob Baths vs. Drunkenness. In the course of a discussion at the sanctuary congress Mr. Weaver declared that it was almost impossible for anyone taking a cold bath every morning to become an habitual drunkard.-London Telegraph. Hunt Treasure at Mont Pelee. Treasure hunting has become the principal occupation of the islanders of Martinique. They dig day and night among the ruins caused by the eruptions of Mont Pelee for gold and other valuables. No Dutiful Wife Will Do It. Once when a man loses all love for his wife is when he holds a straight flush against four aces in a little poker game and she has the four aces.-Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. Radium Kills Mice. Before the Paris Academy of Sciences, M. Bouchard stated that mice exposed to emanations from radium died in six hours. Thunder Kills Oysters. Oysters are such nervous creatures that a sudden shock, such as a loud thunder-clap, will kill many hundreds of them. Not So Likely to Happen. If our hearts expanded as readily end as easily as our heads swell, the world would be the gainer. WHAT IS DOING AMONG US. Baptizing at the Metropolitan Church Sunday. The Queen of the West Tabernacle No.1 had their installation of offleers Wednesday May the 3rd. Mrs. Helm the colored lady burned by the explosion of a gasoline stove is improving rapidly. Good many person took advantage for the first outing and helped crowd the depot last Sunday, so much for Negro wisdom. Mrs. Walker of 1045 Oakland ave. is improving. Mrs. Ward mother of Mrs. Wm. Bawldoc, is seriously ill et 1046 Everett ave. The Eigh St. Christain Church choirsang at 19th and Woodland Metnodist church Sunday at 3. p. m. Rev. Bowen left Tuesday morning for Kentucky he will preach the Odd Fellows joint State Sermon. Mrs. Henderson reports that Mr. Henderson has reached California and is enjoying the balmy breezes of the always temperate California. The A. M. E. Church cor. of 8th and Nebraska sts. will give a rally the 2nd Sunday in May and they expect to be able to pay part of the principal of their debt. Mr. Oscar Holden of 11d Lafayette avenue, left last week for Valentine Nebraska where he will spend som time in business. Miss Virginia Jones and Mr. N. Arthur Rice were quietly married in this city, on the evening of 19 nuits Miss Jones formerly lived at 44 North James street, and was one among our best known young ladies having been employed as weigh miatress and clerk in the A. C. L, Coal and feed Companys Store She is the sister of Sam Jones, the well known business man of Leavenworth known all over the State. Kansas City, Kansas loses a bright, highly respected intellectual young woman who was foremost in many under taking that tended to uplift the race. The happy couple have our congratulations for a life filled with contentment in their farwaay home Pocatello Idaho. A Ten day meeting. There will be held at 10th and Neba avenue beginning May 7th a ten days Holiness Tent meeting under the auspices of God's Holy mission. Invitation extended to all, to come. Song service each evening. Go out and hear. IF IT WAS ONLY POSSIBLE. Could we but remove the Scum over the sight of every Negro's eye that he might see the real things in life. Could we indefibly impress upon the race the great necessity of being united, being true to themselves' their race and their God. Could we but show them the great possibilities the grand opportunies that are ours to be a people if we ill only awake to solemn duties that are required of us. if we be a notable and powerful race, we will feel that our journajistic efforts put forth under disadvantages and at times discomfort will be stars in a crown reserved for those who have earnestly labored in behalf of a fallen race. When we respect our selves we can then know how to respect of her people, has been sung until threebare. United we stand and divided we fail has long since become a sing song. That the major portion of the race, in their contemptibleness and hatred to ward one another, stand in their own light, kicking about darkness, is a rath er well established fact. In the light of this knowledge, what can be done by interested members of the race, that action may be brought about in the ranks to put it on a par with the progressive producing races of the world? Japanese Farming. The ingenuity of the farming in Japan may be inferred from the fact that the 45,000,000 inhabitants live almost entirely on the productions of a cultivated area about one-third the size of Illinois. Bank Run by Negroes. All the officers and stockholders of a bank in the Creek nation are negroes. English Paupers Costly. England's expenditure on paupers is rising at the rate of $1,400,000 a year. KANSAS CITY, KANSAS FRIDAY EVENING, National Negro Business League. The next annual meeting of the National Negro Business League will be held in the Palm Garden of the Grand Central Palace, New York City August 16, 17 and 18, 1905. It is not, perhaps saying too much to state that this meeting will bring together one of the largest and most representative bodies of colored people that has ever assembled in this country, and the present plan of the officers not only embraces the bringing together of a large representation of colored business men and women from the countries, as well Great preparations are already under way on the part of the New York local Business League for the reception and enrtainment of the delegates. Aside from the business that will be attended to at the meetings, the social features of the gathering are to be made very prominent, and it is the hope that the male delegates will not only be present in large numbers themselves, but that they will bring their wives with them. Since the last meeting in Indianapolis about twenty local leagues have been organized in various parts of this country; the total number of local leagues is row considerably more than one hundred, besides a number state organizations. The National Organizer, Mr. Fred, R. Moore, 181 Pearl street, New York City is very anxious to keep in touch with all local leagues and to lend his service wherever needed in forming new local organizations. The strongest and most successful business men and women picked from different parts of the country will be given place upon the program. READ AND TAKE HEED. We call the attention of our readers and aspecially the race to the following part of an address of Prof. W. H. Counci of the Salma Normal school, Selm a Alabama, reported in full in the Chatta nooga Times. it is burning words of truth to the Negro, every one should tske them home. When the Negro men as a mass respect, honor and protect the women of the race. When they will unite their forces to-gether to baid enterprises and support them, that their children can find something to do. When they quit whining, get busy and do something for themselves, then the Race Problem will be wafted on the breezes to unknown regions, never to be resurrected. Prof. Council truly says: "We cannot make a white man a Negro, nor a Negro a white man. God has made the distinction and set the bonnids for each. Each will grow strong and great only as he is true to his own nature. I honor the white man because he honors himself. I honor him because he places his mother, sister, wife and daughter on a platform up among the stars, gets a thousand gating gups and decrees death to him who seeks to drag them down. I honor him because he throws his powerful arms around every little freckled face, poor white girl and boy in the land and makes the way possible for them to rise in this world. I honor him because he does not go around whining and begging to be helped us' but by faith in his own muscle he cuts and carves out his own destiny. Let the Negro do likewise, according to his own nature, and in his own sphere without prejudice to any, with love to all mankind, and he will succeed. Seize these opportunities, cultivate the most friendly relations with al men." The funeral of Miss Bettie Houston who died Wednesday after a long illness will be held Saturday under the auspices of the Sr M, T,,s at the A. M. E. church. Sleeper's Real Offense. An eccentric minister caused some surprise one Sunday by declaring that he did not in the least object to people sleeping while he was preaching. A few minutes later he and his hearers were disturbed by the loud snoring of a man just below the pulpit. "Give him a tap on the head," said the minister. This was done, ineffectually, "Give him another," came the order again. Still the man slumbered. But at length by dint of much tapping and shaking, he was recalled into abashed consciousness. "You are making a wretched noise," roared the minister, leaning over the pulpit edge. "I don't mind your sleeping, but you are preventing other people from sleeping!" Restaurant At 21 Central avenue Kansas City, Kansas is the place to get quick meals Short Orders 10 cents. Regular meals 15 cents. NEWTON LEWIS PROPRIETOR. GOOD INDEX TO CHARACTER. Habits and idiosyncracies Betrayed in the Laugh. Anthropologists say that the ability to laugh comes to the child as it grows older. The first smile is observed when the child is about fury to sixty days old, but it does not begin to laugh until some time after that. Children and women laugh more than men, not because the cares of life lie less heavily upon them, but because the the former are more excitable, and because the moderating power of the cerebral hemispheres is less in them than among men generally. Profound study makes men serious, and so foolish people are sometimes noted for laughing immoderately. Yet laughter is not so much an index to intelligence as it is to the condition of health. Healthy, vigorous people are proverbially of good-humored joyous, laughing natures, while the "sallow, gloomy-eyed dyspeptic" is a description scientifically accurate. The envious, wicked and malevolent rarely laugh, because, phrenologists say, they are impregnated with bile, and are, therefore, morose. The haughty, the vain and the awkward also laugh very little, for fear of losing their dignity. The Spanish people, proverbially grave, are a good example. People who have lines extending downward from the angle at the mouth toward the chin well marked rarely laugh, and, moreover, show a tendency to penniveness in youth and melancholy in after life. Those who have lines raying outward from the eyes are, on the contrary, people who laugh a good deal, especially when the upper lip is framed by two deep furrows running down in the mouth. OLD LADY WAS PRACTICAL. Looked for Serviceable Quality in a Present. A very practical old lady from the country was visiting her daughter in the city not long ago, and her young granddaughter was taking her through one of the big department stores on a little shopping tour. "Now," said the old lady to the salesman, "show me some dishes; I want to buy a set." Up in the china department the clerks had shown a number of dainty, pretty designs, which the old lady had admired, but still seemed to be looking for something else. "This pale green and gold tinted one is pretty, grandma," suggested the young girl, "why not get it?" "Well, you see," answered the practical grandmother, "your Aunt Jinnie is a-goin' to be married in the fall, and I thought I would get her a good serviceable present while I was up here. A black and white flowered set of china is what I want, if I could find it. Black and white is such serviceable colors, you know, dear; it don't show dirt."-Linpincott's. The Porch. When father built the veranda, He kicked about the expense, But ma, she said: "Don't mind it, Ed-- Don't think of dollars and cents." That autumn Clara was married, It made pa glad as could be, And ma would smile Most all the while, "I'm proud of that porch," said she. Last summer both Belle and Amy Would race for the porch at night, And all the rest Of us thought best To stay indoors, out of sight. But Belle ran faster than Amy— She got her man in July; And I'll commend That porch to send A bachelor's oath sky high. Last Sunday Amy informed us That she had told Jimmy "yes, And now us three, Pa, ma, and me, Can get on that porch, I guess. -Cleveland Leader. Kubing Wood Tar. it is curious to notice that wood tar is prepared just as it was in the fourth century B. C. A bank is chosen and a dug, into which the wood is pliated, covered with turf. A fire is liged underneath, and the tar slowly rips into the barrels placed to re-use it. Shoesoles Eight Foot Thick shoesoles Eight Feet Thick. We wear away two inches of shoe leather in a year. A pair of shoes that would "last a lifetime" would, consequently, have to be provided with soles from eight to nine feet thick. Publication Notice. In the District Court SS. of Wyandotte County. Mary Darkis. Plaintiff. VS. William Darkis. Defendent. Notice. The State of Kansas, to William Darkis Greeting, you are hereby notified that you have been seed on the grounds of gross neglect of duty, extreme cruelty; and adultery. In the above entitle cause in the above named Court, Wherein Mary Darkis is Plaintiff, and William parkis is Deiendent, and unless you answer on or before the first day of, July 1905. Plaintiff petition will be taken as true Judgement will be rendered against you as prayed for. The plaintiff is asking an absolute divorce, custody of two minor children and a reasonable attorney fee. for cost, and for other relief such as the nature of Plointi-ft case demands. Chas. w. Frye, attorney First Published April 28th 1905. Automatic Compass. M. Heit, a French inventor, has recently patented a compass which automatically registers minute by minute. The compass card is fixed on a steel pivot, which rests on a fixed agate, instead of having at its center an agate resting on a fixed steel point. The fixed agate is immersed in a drop of mercury, which serves as a conductor for the electric current that causes the movements of registering. Selects Wife's Toilets It is a common thing in Paris for a man to accompany his wife to the dressmaker's. The young wife who has known no gayer attire than the coming-out gown of the jesire file needs careful advice as to her toilets, and her husband, if he be a certain type of man of the world, knows how to give it. Japanese Swords Best. The sword makers of Toledo and Damascus have been reputed to be the world's most famous artisans in this industry, but in Japan the swordsmiths turn out weapons whose blades are fully as green and as hard and composed of metal of as fine quality as those of the old swordsmiths. Superstitious Criminals. All criminals are great believers in dreams. Some time ago, at Manchester, a daring thief awaiting trial told a warder he had dreamed that he had seen a rainbow. From this he deduced that he would be acquitted at his trial. To everyone's surprise he was. Hunting in Japan. The Japanese, always keen sports men, used to take most of their game with goshawks and sparrow hawks. The only dogs they used were spaniels, which fushed the game. But now they are taking to dogs, and many good animals are being imported from England. Liquefies Illuminating Gas. A German chemist named Blau has succeeded in liquefying illuminating gas. In that form it gives a good light, which is useful in country houses, railway trains, etc. It costs more than ordinary coal gas, but less than electric light. NOW IS the time to Subscribe For the Weekly American Citizen. PATTERSON & GAYDEN -Dealers In- Hard and Soft Coal, Wood. Vault & Cesspool, Cleaning. Gisterns Filled Tel. 215 West.* 527 STATE AVE. BUT HE HAS TO Walt. Nothing would please the small boy more than the privilege of assuming the role of father to the man occasionally. MAY 5, 1905 is Section CALL HERE EXECUTORS NOTICE STATE OF; KANSAS. } SS WYANDOTTE COUNTY. } IN THE PROBATE COURT OF SAID COUNTY. In the matter of the Estate of Mary L. Gordon Deceased. Notice is hereby given that letters testamentary have been granted to the undersigned on the last will and testament of Mary L. Gordon late of said county, deceased, by the Honorable, the Probate Court of the County and State aforesaid Dated the 21 day of March 1905. Now all persons having claims against said estate are hereby notified that they must present the same to the undersigned for allowance within one year from the date of said letters, or they may be precluded from any benefit, of such estate; and that if such claims be not exhibited within three years after the date of said letters, they shall be forever barred. CORVINE PATTerson Executor of the last will and testament of Mary L. Gordon deceased. Dated March 21 1905. First Published 24 1905. NOTICE OF PUBLICATION In the District Court of Wyandotte county State of Kansas. Mary Atkinson. Plaintiff. } No. 18297 J. B. Atkinson, Defendant. The State of Kansas to J. B. Atkinson. Greeting:— You are hereby notified that the plaintiff in the above entitled cause did on the 22nd day of September, 1904. file her petition in a certain action against you in the District Court in Wyandotte County State of Kansas asking for an absolute divorce on the grounds of abandonment and desertion, and unless youdemur, answer or otherwise object on or before the 30th day of January 1905, the allegations therein will be taken as true and upon further proof thereof judgement will be rendered as prayed for in said petition. JOHNSON and TOOLE. Attys for Plaintiff. Wm. Needles, Clerk. By D. C. McCombs, Deputy. EXECUTOR'S NOTICE STATE OF KANSAS IN JHE PROBAT COURT IN AND SS FORSAID COUNT. in the matter of the Estate of Jane Redd Deceased. Notice is hereby given that Letters Testamentary have been granted to the undersigned on the Last Will and Testament of Jane Redd, late of said County, deceased by the Honorable, the Probate Court of the county and State aforesaid, date the 6th day of February A. D. 1905. Now, all persons have long claims against the said Estate. are hereby notified that they must pr sent the same to the undersigned for allowance within one year from the date of said Letters, or they may be precluded from any benefit of such Estate; and that if such claims be not exhibited within three years after the date of said Letters, they shall be forever barred. executor of the Last Will and Testament of Jane Redd Deceased. First published Feb. 11th 1905 Notice of Final Settlement State of Kansas County of Wyaodotte IN THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE OF CLARA WILLIAMS SLEDGE DECEASED Creditors and all other persons interested in the aforesaid estate, are hereby notified that at the next regular team of the tribunal court and for said County, to be begun and held at the Probate Court room in Kansas City, County of Wyaodotte and State aforesaid on the first Monday in the month of March A. D. 1905. I shall apply to said Court for a full and final settlement of said estate. Peter young Administrator of Clara Williams Sledge Deceased. In Witness Whereof, the undersigned, Pro- bate Judge in and for the County of Wyon dotte. State of Kansas, have hereto set my hand, and affixed the seal of the Probate Court this 29th Day of January A. D. 1905 Winfield Freeman Probate Judge. The World's Wanderers. Tell me, thou star, whose wings of light Speed thee in thy fiery flight, In what cavern of the night Will thy pinions close now? Tell me, moon, thou pale and gray Pilgrim of heaven's homeless way, In what depth of night or day Seekest thou repose now? Weary wind, who wanderest Like the world's rejected guest, Bast thou still nearest nest On the tree or billow? —Percy Byshe Shelley The Glories of a Throne It has been shown that out of a list of 2,550 sovereigns 300 have been overthrown, 134 assassinated, 123 taken prisoners of war, 108 executed, 100 slain in battle, sixty-four forced to abdicate, twenty-eight died by their own hands, twenty-five were tortured to death, while twenty-three became mad or imbecile. This gives a total of 905 whose reigns have ended miserably. The bayonet was first used by the French in 1671. It was first made in Bayonne, France, and was considered a very deadly weapon. The British army quickly copied it, and other nations promptly followed suit. The Oldest Negro Journal Published Weekly in this part of the Country. FUBLIISHED WEEKLY at 1510 Norh 3rd Street KANSAS CITY KANSAS W. C. Martin Editor, Geo. A. Dudley, Publisher and Business Manager. Terms OF SubscriptioninAdvance. One Year, $1.00 Six Months, 65 cents Three Months, 40. c ne Month, 15. c Advertising 25 cts. Per Inch First Insertion. A Standing Display 'Add' for 3 Months or longer 150 per inch, each insertion. Entered as second class matter December first, 1904 at the Post office at Kansas City, Kansas under the Act of congress of March rd. 1879." Grewsome Collection. A French professor is the owner of a collection of 920 human heads, representing every known race of people. Scarlet for Bachelor Maids. When an unmarried woman dies in Brazil the coffin, hearse and livery of the coachman are all scarlet. Cost of London's Paupers. Every year $4,000,000 is spent on the food and clothing of indoor paupers in London. Here is the Place. J. T. ROBERTS TONSORIAL PARLOR, All the Latest Style Hair Cuts, Clean Shave strictly Up-to-Date. 438 MINNESOTA AVENUE. Call and see H.S. Sykes and and A. Gooden manufactor of Pop corn in ball aud brick at 316 Oakland ave A Word To You. The lack of proper appreciation of the efforts of Negro newspapers make in an uphill business to maintain the standard of excellence desired by those in the business. Just why the race is so utterly slack, in giving to their own the proper patronage is one of the unsolved mysteries. Each day and week bring to us the warring of being a unit in behalf of our own salvation. It takes something beside wind to publish the most weakly of weeklies. If every Afro-American family would pledge themselves to stand by an organ builped in their behalf, just one year, the results would be unbelieved we ask the colored brother to wake up around and observe, see if you cannot discern that the signs of the times don't speak in thundering tones for a the public advocates of our interests han, why wait do your part by subscribing getting your neighbors to do the same end watch the good results. Notice of Final Settlement. State of Kansas County of Wyandott In the Probate Court in and forsaid County, In the Matter of the Estate of John R.Smith Deceased. Creditors and all other persons interested in the aforesaid estate, are hereby notified, that at the next regular term of the Probate Court in and forsaid County, to be begun and held at the Probate Court room in Kansas City, County of Wyandotte and State aforesaid, on the first Monday in month of February, A. D. 1905. I shall apply to said Court for a full and final settlement of said estate. JAMES D. SMITH. Administrator of the Estate John R. Smith. Deceased. of the said Probate Court this 24th day of December, A. D, 1904. Winfield Freeman. Probate Judge SOUTH AMERICAN Office Houro: From 10 A. M., till 4 p. m. and from 6 till 9 P. M., C.H.C. JORDAN- M.M.M.D. Reaching the creamy one of the committee halted and said: "Sir, I wish to direct your attention to that grave. The man who lies buried there had to be provided with the largest coffin ever made in this city." The honored guest thanked his host not so much for the information as for believing the strain.—Pittsburg Dispatch. TRUTH PROVED BY EXAMPLE. Storekeeper Certainly Lacked the Gift of Energy. William C. Greene, the copper magiate, was talking to a young man about success. "The secret of success is enterprise, energy," said Col. Greene. "To be lazy, to stick always in the same old rut, that is how to make a wretched failure of your life. "I went West when I was 17, and after a spell of contracting and prospecting about Prescott, I farmed a bit in the San Pedro Valley. There was a storekeeper I used to buy my supplies from at that time who was a failure of the first water. This man's lack of enterprise was so great that people used to bring their children from miles around to study him. He was valuable as a horrible example. "There,' they would say to the youngsters, 'take warning by Manners. He is a failure. He has no enterprise. Don't grow up like him. He resembles a tortoise, doesn't he?' "Poor Manners in his sluggishness did resemble a tortoise a good deal. I sent a boy in to him one day with a back mule to get five gallons of molasses. The boy told me afterward that when he entered the store Manners was dozing. The boy coughed and the man awoke and got up. He opened his mouth wide, and stood on ipoe and stretched out his arms in a vast yawn. Then he said to the boy: "Wotcha want?' "Five gallons of molasses, Mr. Manners,' the boy spoke of, sharp and quick. "Wah-h-h-h-' yawned Manners again. Then as he took up the jug he grumbled: "Ain't there nobody what sells masses in this here town but me?" PLEASURE OF EASTERN WOMEN. Their Main Occupation the Diversions of the Toilet. An eastern lady of high degree spends an amount of time over her toilet that would quite astonish the most fashionable society lady. First she has her hair dressed by her maid, who, after anointing the long, silky black locks with a little oil, made from aloe wood or cocoanut, arranges it simply in a long, smooth plait, low on the nape of the neck, and decorated either with gold or jewelled ornaments. Next the bath is prepared as hot as it can be borne, and in this the lady may stay as long as two or three hours. Soaps are not used, but, instead, there are multifarious unguents, secret preparations of the bathing women, which render the skin soft as velvet and delicately perfumed. Oftentimes the face is washed over with milk, into which has been squeezed lemon juice. The hair of the oriental woman is usually beautifully long, soft and glossy, and the way they arrange it is invariably becoming to their soft type of beauty. Perfumes are much indulged in. These are introduced in the bath and permeate the garments, but are rarely used on a handkerchief. The Foam on the Top. Don't snuggle conceit to your bosom, my boy, Because you're on top of the wave. For hears you thought that might serve as alloy To the gold of the credit you crave: The best is not always at surface, my son, And think, if to notice you'll stop. You'll observe that the good to the bottom may run. But the foam always lingers on top. I would not discourage your zeal, my dear lad; It is best to keep working away. But this old world often labels as bad. The thing that is good in its day. In fact, I may say that it classifies wrong Some part of the great earthy crop. And I think you will note as you journey along That the foam often gets to the top. We will not mention names if you please, my dear youth. But look at the world as you go. The men whom we place at the summit, in truth. Then gaze on the mortals below. And I give you my word I'll have nothings. And this brief little anthem will stop. If you do not agree with the thing that I preach. That the foam may be found on the top. -A. J. Waterhouse in Sunset Morning. A Polite Discharge. James Rankin Young, the new superintendent of the Dead Letter office admires politeness. "It is possible," he said recently, "to be polite always. It is possible to be polite even when discharging a drunken coachman. I know that this is so, for I have seen the thing done. "A friend of mine found himself obliged last week to get rid of his coachman for drunkenness. He summoned the man into his presence, and discharged him with this polite speech: "I fear, Montgomery, that we must part. It has been impossible for me to avoid noticing that several times during the past month you have been—er—sober. Now, I don't believe that any man can attend properly to drinking if he has driving to do, and, therefore, at the month's end you will be free to devote yourself exclusively to your chosen occupation." All Christians. In his article in the Woman's Home Companion, describing the International Sunday School Convention in Jerusalem, Doctor Devins relates the following significant incident: "An unexpected favor was received from the officers of the Russian church on the Mount of Olives. A meeting had been planned to be held near the place of the Ascension. As the leader of the meeting, the writer went to see if it could be held under the trees near the church. "Why not? was the reply, accompanied by a smile on the saintly face of the speaker. 'Why not? Do we not worship the same Christ?'" WIT IS NOT APPRECIATED. Glasgow, Scotland, Character Has Fun With Actors. A provincial theater in the east of Scotland is being tormented and amused at intervals by a wit among the gallery gods who insists on keeping up a running commentary on the play. He has enlivened many a dull piece by his droll interpolations, but he has also come pretty near ruining many an intensely dramatic or sentimental situation by the sudden and always apropos qualities of his interruptions. He has a high pitched, penetrating voice, and the town police, who have been on the verge of ejecting him a dozen times, say that he was a Glasgow cab driver who retired with a competence and now takes this way to give play to a wit that was once famous in the great city. On one occasion a dreary melodrama was being presented. The heroine of the play, pursued by the villain, had taken refuge in the house of her lover, who, as the hero of the play, was of course, at variance with his sweetheart's parents. The exigencies of the plot required that the irate father, sword in hand and at the head of his faithful retainers, should track the girl to the gates of the hero's treacherous and disgraceful eloement, enter the room where the scared heroine had been secreted under the table. "Wretch!" cried the furious father, "your life shall answer for this. I demand my child. Where is she." Then, shrill and startling in the expectant silence, from the gallery came the answer: "Unner the table, ye dinged lout! Dinna ye see her slipper stickin' oot?" The house was in a tumult of merriment in a moment, but it was the "angry father" himself, who ruined the situation, for he burst into immoderate laughter and the curtain fell in the middle of the act, to rise again upon an audience that could not repress its risibles for the rest of the evening. HE WANTED A MORTGAGE. Swede's Experience With a Deed Had Taught Him Caution. Halvor Steenerson, Congressman from Minnesota, tells a story of a Swede who went to that state from one of the Dakotas for the purpose of buying a farm. A land agent acted as guide and informant to the Swede, who eventually found what he wanted. When the time came to make out the necessary papers, the agent asked the Swede what method he preferred to adopt in making payments. "Ay pay all. Ay haf da money," replied the Swede. "Very well, then. I'll make out the deed," said the agent. "No!" suddenly exclaimed the Swede. "Ay no want deed!" 'Why, yes, you do!" rejoined the agent, astonished. "You pay the money and you take a deed for the farm." "No, no!" earnestly asseverated the Swede. "Ay no want deed! Ay had deed oop in Dakoty. Ay pay man da money. He gif me deed. Ay gif heem mortgage. Ay tak land. By en by he get land, he get deed, he haf da money. Dees time Ay want no deed; Ay want mortgage. Ay pay da money; you gif me mortgage!"—The Sunday Magazine. Getting Posted. "I would like to ask you a question if you don't mind," said the old man in the street car to the man on his right. "Go ahead, sir." "I should like to know the meaning of the term 'History repeats itself.' I come across it most every day. How does history repeat itself?" "That's easily answered," said the other. "For instance, if you should ask me what I thought of the weather I should tell you to go and be hanged to you. If we should meet a month hence and you asked me the same question over again my reply would be the same." "I think I see—I think I do," mused the old man, as he leaned back and crossed his feet. "Yes, I guess I understand, and I want to tell you that you are a durned mean jackass of a man and that history is going to repeat itself every blamed time I run across you for the next ten years to come."—Chicago News. A. Gentle Thrust James Jeffrey Roche, the new Consul to Genoa, was talking about a magazine editor. "This man," he said, "rejected some of the best of my early verse. He rejected some of the best verse of my friends. Why he is an editor I can't imagine. He certainly has no critical sense. "I indicated this to him one day. He had announced to me that he was going to get married. He had praised the lady of his choice ardently, declaring her to be a poem. "And still you do not reject her?" { exclaimed. } Winter. Soft as the plumes of sleep drifts down The pure white silence of the snow The bells make marry in the town, Where happy faces come and go. The brooding quiet of the trees, Is broken sweet, in yonder glen. By "day, day day," of chickadees And keen, sweet song of winter wren. Of glowing days some magic word And of the morn the grosbeaks sing; And in the moonday heart he The whisper of returning spring. w. B, Raymond FUNERAL DIRECTOR. AndEumbalmer The Very Best of Service, Fine Carriages For All Purpose. At All Hours. The Best Equiped White Enameled Ambulance For Sick and wounded On Short Notice. Charges Reasonable Call At 431 Minnesota. Ave. Kansas City, Kansas. It's up to YOU To trade with the largest and best Grocery store and meat market on North 3rd St. Where you can get the best of everything usually kept in a first class grocery also Fresh an Salt meats and country produces. The most reasonable of prices. MANY HOLIDAY GOOD THINGS ASPECIALTY. KANSAS CITY SOAP CO. KANSAS CITY SOAP CO. Are Manufactors of the Best Grades of Toilet & Washing Soaps. A Home Institution. One trial of their brand the Snowflake and Union will convince you of their merits. RESTAURANT 1s the best place in the city and will serve you from 5,30 a,m, to ii p. m, every thing is cooked to taste, MEALS 15 CENTS, Mrs. Thatcher the prop, is one of the best cooks in the city and will please you, give her a call. Money to Loan on Watches. Diamonds Jewelry. Unclaim Pledges For Sale Cheap. FINE WATCHES AND JEWELRY REPAIRING. Union Loan Office. 427 Minnesota ave. kansas"city."kans. YOUR OPPORTUNITY YOUR OPPORTUNITY Ladies suits, dressing sacques, aprons and in fact anything in the Dressmaking line and sold on weekly and monthly payments. Here is a few prices: Belt dresses $1.00 and up; dressing sacques 50cts and up. Call and see me. Mrs W. F. Williams. Telephone Bell W. 32. W. B, FUNERAL And Eumbalmer The Very ages For All Purpose. At The Best Equip- Ambulance For Sick On Short Notice. Cha 431 Minnesota. Ave It's up To trade with the l store and meat market you can get the best of in a first class grocery and country produces. able of prices. MANY HOLIDAY GOOD Call and be convince ment of clean, fresh go H. K 1100 North 3rd St. KANSAS CITY 1510 N. Are Manufactors of the Be- ing Soaps. A GIVE THEM YOUR One trial of their brand th convince you RESTA 1012 N. 1s the best place in the city a,m, to ii p. m, every thing MEALS 1 Mrs. Thatcher the prop city and will please you, g IN ESS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. Money on Watches. D CLOTHING AN 000C000000 Of Watches and Jewel AT CASH Unclaim Pledges FINE WATCHES AND J Union Lo 427 Minnesota av YOUR OPPO TO SAVE Ladies suits, dressing anything in the Dressmaking MADE TO and sold on weekly and m few prices: Belt dresses $1. 50cts and up. Call and see Mrs W. F. 1510 North Third St. The Indian rhinoceros is nearly extinct. There are two specimens in the London zoological gardens and two on the European continent. Very few are left in a wild state in India and Assam, and unless special measures be taken for their preservation they will soon disappear. Telephone Home W.32 Raymond DIRECTOR. Best of Service, Fine Carri- All Hours. Good White Enameled Knife and wounded Garges Reasonable Call At Kansas City, Kansas. TO YOU largest and best Grocery on North 3rd St. Where I everything usually kept also Fresh an Salt meats The most reason. O; THINGS ASPECIALTY d. Look over our assort- oods. rueger. KANSAS CITY, KANS CITY SOAP CO. N, 4th St. Best Grades of Toilet & Wash Home Institution. UR PATRONAGE the Snowflake and Union will of their merits. URRANT N 3rd St. and will serve you from 5,3 is cooked to taste, 55 CENTS, is one of the best cooks in th eve her a call. J. H. CLEIN, PROPRIETOR. to Loan Diamonds Jewelry. AND EVERYTHING Value 000000000 Jewelry Sold on Payments PRICES. For Sale Cheap. JEWELRY REPAIRING. Loan Office. e. kansas"city. kans. ORTUNITY E MONEY. sacques, aprons and in fact line O ORDER. monthly payments. Here is a 000 and up; dressing sacques time. Williams, Kansas City, Kansas MME. L, F. JOHNSON, Shampooing, Manicuring, Massage and Scalp Treatment. Tel.733 W. A SPECIALT I. Duplex Telegraphy in Europe. The telegraph line from Vienna to Cernowitz is the longest line in Europe which uses the duplex system, being 630 miles long. The system was adopted a few months ago, as it was found necessary to increase the capacity of the line, which takes all the matter for Roumania, southeastern Russia and a part of Bulgaria. The system works well at present, although the line is constructed of iron wire instead of copper. Good Luck for Turtles at Least The Chinese have a peculiar custom with regard to turtles, which they consider as very good joss. Almost any day one can see these creatures, some of them of huge size, being carried on board the river steamers, not to be taken to Canton for culinary purposes, but to be dumped into the sea and restored to liberty and freedom. Good luck is thought to follow.—Hong Kong Press. Good to Lick Baby With Later On. I saw lately a dainty and original gift for a young mother. It was called "a measuring stick for baby," made of white wood thirty-six inches long, and marked off into inches as accurately as a tape measure. Forgetmenots were paited down the side, and at one end w... a hole in which was a ribbon bow and loop by which to suspend it. Good Housekeeping. Moisture in Tobacco The presence of moisture in tobacco is, the Lancet believes, of some importance to public health, since the combustion of tobacco containing a large proportion of moisture is impeded, while as the g eration of vapor is increased, so ar e chances of the polsonous principle being carried into the mouth diminished. Early Japanese University It will surprise most readers to learn from a recent Japanese writer that there was a university in Japan in the eighth century, with schools of ethics, mathematics and history, and that text books were employed dealing with such specialties as the diseases of women, veterinary surgery, and materia medica. Casting a Gloom. "Yes, for local talent, it was a first rate entertainment," said the suburban resident, "and we made several hundred dollars for the hospital fund, but there was one little hitch. The town undertaker was down for a tenor solo, and he insisted on singing 'The Waiting for Thee.'"—New York Sun. Consider Dreams Revelations Among the people of the east dream is considered to be a direct revelation from God, and there are in the Orient, even to-day, soothsayers, or fortune tellers, who interpret dreams, just as the soothsayers did in bible times, and from dreams tell the future of the dreamer. Statistics show that cancer is more common among those who are accustomed to the refinements of life than among the very poor, and to care for such patients the doctors say that good surroundings are a necessity. Snakes in India. About 400,000 snakes are killed every year in British India. The feet paid as rewards annually for the destruction of beasts of prey and venomous snakes by the government of India amount to about $125,000. German Colony in Palestine German Colony in Palestine. Thirty-four years ago a German colony settled at Haifa, Palestine. To day all of the ninety families in are prosperous. They raise grape and make wine free from alcohol which is sold to the natives. Irish Ledger in Court. A leider kept in the Irish language was produced at the Roscommon ablizes, in Ireland, and the witnesses had to go on the bench to translate the terms for the judge. Gravity. An observing schoolboy wrote this short essay: "Gravity was discovered by Izaak Walton. It is chiefly noticeable when the apples are falling from the trees." Novices Leave Convent. Stealing the front door key from the pocket of the mother superior, three young novices escaped from the convent of Santa Clara in Lisbon and disappeared. Dogs May Ride in Berlin. Dogs are allowed to enter tramway cars in Berlin, but must be held in their master's laps and paid for as if they were human passengers. Credit is a Necessity. As trade now stands, there is so enough gold out of the earth, if it were all coined, to transact the business of a day. Nationalities Among Russians. The Russian population represents 110 nationalities, the three great stock being Finns, Tartans and Slavs. Aluminum for Sharpening Cutlery. Aluminum is superior to any stone for sharpening cutlery. Denmark's Honey Exports. Denmark exports 2,500,000 pounds of honey a year. The Mechanics of Love Love's a force that moves the world, Whose source, the throbbing heart, While but a pump with valves, yet plays A great dynamic part. Love's converted into heat Where rivals are concerned; Its friction causes jealousy, And many hearts are burned. It varies as the mass of heart, Or the buxom maid's resistance. And then again, love's hot or cold, Depending on the distance. And while some scientific minds Call it a serious matter; All feel its force and disagree In secret, with the latter. —Frank J. Alsdorf. John Given's Note By J. C. PLURTER (Copyright, 1905, by Daily Story Pub. Co.) Mrs. Given stared at Mr. Craig, the lawyer. "It'll take every cent I have in the world," she said, "I'll have to sell my house to pay this here note." "You admit this is your husband's signature," retorted the lawyer, "and he must have owed the money or he wouldn't have given the note. If it had been paid it would not have been in the possession of Captain Downing and there's no indorsement of any money having been paid on it. In common justice the note must be paid." Mrs. Given picked up the note and spelled it over. "On demand I promise to pay to Robert Downing, five hundred dollars. (Signed) John Given." "I'm sure," she said, "that if John had owed this here note he'd 'a' told me of it." Mrs. Given, "can't y and drabs, so I w ouse. You can't \'you've a plenty." "But I do need replied Miss Janet, it to the missiona heard Brother Bagg about them poor d the South Sea Isls anxious to help the you say at the chu Eaggs had finished "There's the note, ma'am," said the lawyer, drilly, "I'm afraid you'll find it difficult to prove its payment." Mr. Craig took his departure with an omnious shake of his head and Mrs. Given looked gloomily out of the window at the grey clouds that hovered over the town. Captains Downing and Given had been close friends. They had worked their way from before the mast to skippers, and then to being vessel owners in a small way. Captain Downing, who had never married, had accumulated the more money for John Given was free handed and when he died left only the house he lived in to his widow. Mrs. Given had met conditions bravely. She had formerly been a dressmaker and now took up her calling. Her son was a sailor and her daughter, Julia, had obtained a position in a millinery store. With Mrs. Bond as a boarder, the aggregate income was enough to afford moderate comfort but with house rent to pay and no boarder, prospects were gloomy. It was evident that the house would not bring more than enough to pay the note, if that much. The brig which Captain Downing commanded had been encountered at sea, and abandoned in a sinking condition. The crew had probably taken the boats and as nothing had been heard of them for the space of five months they were given up as lost. Captain Downing left no will, and his very comfortable property went to his sister, Miss Janet. The note of Captain Given had been found in the table drawer in which Captain Downing kept his papers. As the two mariners had many joint transactions it seemed entirely plausible that the note had not been paid and that John Given had not been mindful of it when he died. Captain Downing had kept his business affairs in the crudest manner and there was no record of any transactions between him and Captain Given. Miss Janet Downing was a lady of fifty, austere and pious. She was a devoted church woman and extremely economical. Her neighbors denominated this trait, stinginess. With a DETROIT I have to sell my house to pay this here note." "I have to sell my house to pay this here note." full knowledge of Miss Janet's charac- teristics, Mrs. Given called on her, with a vague hope that something might come of her visit. I'm sure that John would have told we about that there note i he had owed it," said Mrs. Given, teary- ly. "But but, Sister Given," replied Miss Jasar, "if he had paid it Brother Robert would have given him back his robe. Mr. Craig says that is the way such matters are done." "If you will have the money," said Mrs. Given, "can't you take it in dribs and drabs, so I won't have to sell my house. You can't need the money. You've a plenty." "But I do need it, Sister Given," replied Miss Janet. "I'm going to give it to the missionary fund. Since I heard Brother Baggs preach so grand about them poor darkened sinners in the South Sea Islands, I have been anxious to help the cause. I heard you say at the church when Brother Eaggs had finished his sermon that A. H. "There's where it belonged," retorted Captain Bob. "There's where it belonged," retorted Captain Bob. you'd like to give him a hundred dollars for the heaten, Sister Given." Apparently Mrs. Given's enthusiasm over Brother Bagg's sermon had cooled, for she made no reply. "It will be a glorification to us both," continued Miss Janet, "to know that this here money is being put to such a use and I'm sure you will feel as glad as I do that we have it to use that away." "Them there heathen," remarked Mrs. Given slowly, "have no house rent to pay and no coal to buy." "They have souls to save," put in Miss Janet. "Then you must have the money?" "We will donate it," suggested Miss Janet. "To think," said Mrs. Given, as she recounted her interview to her daughter and the boarder, Mrs. Bond, "that that rambler bush bush 'll be out this spring better than ever. It 'll cover the back porch and the house won't be ours." "Hi'm a member of the church of Hengland," said Mrs. Bond, viciously, "and a good Christian, but I 'opes them there 'eathen 'll buy new hidols with that money Miss Downing gives 'em." Accordingly, a bill was put in the window, offering the house for sale, and Mrs. Given, with a heavy heart began to look around for cheap lodgings. One day, when the first snow of winter was falling, Mrs. Riggs, wife of the ship chandler, came rushing into Mrs. Given's kitchen. "He's saved!" she gasped. "Captain Downing and his mats are saved; picked up by a ship and carried to some outlandish place. He's in New York and will be home to-night." "Thank God," ejaculated Mrs. Given, "Captain Bob 'll give me some time to say that there note." As the suspense was unbearable, Mrs. Given hastened around to Captain Downing's house early the next day. Miss Janet, Mr. Craig and the Captain were in the room. Mrs. Given, without even congratulating the Captain on his rescue, put in her petitition, "Jack Given didn't owe any note," replied Captain Bob, "he paid it long ago." "Then," said Mr. Craig, "what was it doing in your table drawer?" "There's where it belonged," retorted Captain Bob. "I never used any of them notes and when Jack borrowed the money he had some new fangied idea about giving this here note. I took the note and then I tells Jack to keep it so he could tell he owed it, and when Jack pays it he tells me to keep it so I could tell he had paid it That's all business." "Hum." coughed Mr. Craig. "And the poor heathen," whimpered Miss Janet. The angel, standing over the dead man who had lived brutishly and selfishly, was sore perplexed. He could scarce distinguisn between soul and body.-New Orleans 'Fames-Democrat is because made by an entirely different process. Defiance Starch is unlike any other, better and one-third more for 10 cents. Many a silk gown conceals a starved heart. Lewis' 'Single Binder' straight 50 cigar, made of extra quality tobacco. You pay 10c for cigars not so good. Lewis' Factory, Peoria, ill. The best of good fellows may be quite ignorant of the price of pajamas Let Everybody Work And the world would be more happy and contented. Just consider how much pain and trouble results in your body when your liver or stomach stop working. Happily, you can soon set them to work again, cure your pains, and restore yourself to health and contentment, with Dr. Caldwell's (laxative) Syrup Pepsin. Try it. Sold by all druggists at 50c and $1.00. Money bacl if it fails. Many a love symphony hath been written in bank notes. "The Adirondacks and How to Reach Them" is a nice folder with maps and references to localities, hotels, boarding houses, mountains and rivers in the great wilderness of Northern New York known as the Adirondack Mountains. If you visit this region once, you will be sure to go again. A copy of "The Adirondack Mountains and How to Reach Them" will be mailed free, postpaid, to any address, on receipt of a two-cent stamp, by George H. Daniels, General Passenger Agent, Grand Central Station, New York. Though a peach have a heart of stone she will in time develop a soft spot. Protesting Against Rate Reduction. Atlanta, Ga.--The recent proposition of J. Pope Brown, Chairman of the Georgia Railroad commission, to reduce the passenger rate in Georgia from three to two cents per mile was protested against by the Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers, the Order of Railway Conductors, and unions of the blacksmiths, machinists and telegraphers, boilermakers, railway traineers, carpenters and joiners, clerks and car men. These organizations employed an attorney especially to represent them, who urged that such a reduction would work against the prosperity of the state and lead to a reduction in the number of railroad employees, as well as of their wages. The Travelers' Protective Association also protested that a reduction, as proposed, would result in fewer trains and poorer service. A rolling stone will acquire some polish. Double-Tracking the Santa Fe. It would be a colossal undertaking to double track the Santa Fe all the way from Chicago to California and the Gulf of Mexico. To seriously suggest it now would provoke a smile from men who know the cost of such a project. Yet it may happen some day, if business continues to increase as rapidly as in the last decade. This plan of two tracks from the Great Lakes to Pacific Ocean does not necessarily imply that the tracks will be laid side by side. In many cases cut-offs will be used, thus saving in milage as well as train operation. Using the term in its restricted sense, by the end of 1905 the Santa Fe will have more than 300 miles of double track in operation. Second tracks are now being built as follows: To finish the gap between Chicago and Joliet; between several points in Missouri, aggregating 40 miles; to complete the Emporia cut-off; east, west and south of Newton, in Kansas, and on both sides of Raton Mountain, in Colorado and New Mexico. If you want a thing well done ask the waiter to bring it rare. DE LAVAL CREAM SEPARATORS Over All Gravity Setting Systems And $3. to $5. Per Cow Over All Imitating Separators. Now is the time to make this most important and profitable of dairy farm investments. Send at once for new 1908 catalogue and name of nearest agent. THE DE LAVAL SEPARATOR CO Quick Meal (Evaporator) Gasoline Stoves are absolutely safe—the insurance people have to know. You take no chances with a Quick Meal. It is a simplicity itself—turn a valve—strike it and it will blow. It is a stability—and it is more than way without a variance. You can't do the wrong thing—it's imposted. You can't do the right thing. It is safe, quick, clean and convenient. And the intense, even heat makes quick, even baking and cooking and your kitchen work done before you know it. No waits for your fire to "come up," while the bread drives **$ Cost only 4¢ or $6¢ a day for fuel - think of it as a hot drink.** You can soak a hot fire the instant you want it—and you can keep it hot for a long time. The heat is under the surface, and the body is warmed by the heat. Better see the dealer today. If he Better see the deliert today. If he takes a bite, you can tell Meat, tell me and tell you. LIKE N T? We will send, you something you'll like if you'll simply tell us if you want to and say whether or not. Med. Sign your name Med. Sign your name will be sure to reach you safely. 8.03th St. STO. Co. Dr. 8.03th St. STO. Co. Dr. MODERN METHODS OF SPELLING Exchange Tells of Hardships They Caused One Unfortunate "Imagine the case of a person who at different periods of his life was obliged to learn to spell all over again," said the professor. "I knew of such a man, not originally a poor speller, who was compelled thrice to take up the study of orthography. It happened in this way: "This friend of mine was reared in the country, attended the school, and acquired therein the necessary proficiency under the rules of the old-time teacher. As a matter of fact he learned to spell while standing. It was a curious fact that for many years that man could not spell some of the simplest words unless he stood up. On his feet, he was the best speller in the class, and acquired many a prize in the spelling 'bees.' There was not a pupil in those days who could 'turn him down,' when it came to an exercise in upright orthography. "Then, years afterward, he had to learn to spell with a pencil. All his spelling talent went into his pencil. His tongue had lost its cunning, and whether standing or sitting he would miss the easiest words, unless he used his pencil. "Finally, with the advent of the typewriter, he was obliged again to learn how to spell, this time with the machine. Queer thing, isn't it? Unless the word is a simple one, my friend's tongue refuses its aid, his pencil declines to afford its old-time help, and he is compelled to refer to the writing machine. And yet he's a good speller.—The Sunday Magazine The Bishop's Mistake: Bishop Johns was holding service at a little log church in the mountains of the South. Two young mountaineers, proud parents of a lusty youngster, presented themselves before the bishop to have the christened The bishop asked: "What name?" The father of the child replied: "Beelzebub." "No?" exclaimed the bishop, amazed that the Prince of Darkness should be so honored. "No, we'll call the child John. John is a good name." Whereupon he continued rapidly with the "i baptize thee, John—" He signed with the sign of the cross and dismissed the parents. They had become more and more confused under the unwonted solemnity of the unfamiliar ritual. The father stood on one foot, shifting his weight to the other; the mother was equally disturbed. When the two reached the door of the church the father turned, and at last finding his voice, called back to ward the rude chancel: "Mister Bishop, dis heah's a gal baby!"—The Sunday Magazine. Lazy. When a feller's good and hungry, Then he can't eat no mo'; He's got to do some eatin' To make the old wheels go; An' when he he's ben to dinner An' stowed away a heap. Then what's the use o' workin'? A feller's got ter sleep. Oh, when's that good time comin' When we don't work no mo'? I'd like to go a struttin' To that there golden sho', An' loosen all my buttons An' eat a mighty heap Of yalluh yams an' possum A sleep an' eat an' sleep. I'd love to go a fishin' In th' everlastin' stream, An' hook the line ter my big toe An' perch up there an' dreem; I like it fare than me An' fry him in de pan— I'm a sleepin', eatin', sleepin', A sleepin', eatin', man! —Houston Post. A. H. Hummel, the well known lawyer of New York, was talking, between the acts of a drama, about the leading woman. "Though her salary is large," said Mr. Hummel, "she is always hard up, always in debt, they say. "The other day I heard a story about her. A female bill collector called on her to try to get her to settle a bill for a sable coat. "I am sorry,' she said to the collector, 'but I can't settle this bill at present.' "Very well, madame. When shall I call again?' the collector asked. "Well,' said the actress, 'it would hardly be etiquette for you to call again until I have returned the pres-ent call.'" Knew His Own Yacht Truman H. Newberry, the rich young Detroiter who is going to succeed Assistant Secretary Darling, was a member of the Michigan naval militia at the time of the war with Spain. His fine yacht was tendered to the government and was used, and Mr. Newberry himself served as a common sailor on the Yosemite. When President Roosevelt was last in Detroit he made a speech in which he said: "I cannot say that the story is true, but they do say that during the Spanish war a common sailor while scrubbing the decks was asked what yacht that was in the distance. "It's the Dawn," replied the sailor. "How do you know?" was the query. "I know," said the common sailor, 'because I own her.'" Eager to Honor Choate. For the farewell banquet to Mr. Choate, to be given at the mansion house, London, on Friday, May 5, one of the most distinguished gatherings will be present that ever assembled to do honor to a foreign diplomat. Among those who have accepted invitations are Mr. Balfour, Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman, Lord Lansdowne, Lord Rosebery, John Morley, Sir Henry Fowler, Mr. Bryce and the archbishops of Canterbury and York. FAMOUS ATHLETES PAY GLOWING TRIBUTE TO PE-RU-NA "I advise all Athletes who are about to go in training to try a bottle of Pe-ru-na." —f. W. Glenister. Cheap Colonists One Way Tickets $25 to California From Kansas City to Los Angeles, San Diego, San Francisco. These are only a few of the places to which tickets may be bought at this rate. Proportionate reductions from other points. You've heard of California's rich soil, its picturesque scenery, the kindness of its climate. The place for farmer, tourist, invalid. Tickets on sale—daily—March 1 to May 15. Liberal stop-over privileges. No better train service than the Santa Fe's. Three trains daily. Tourist Sleepers, Free Chair Cars, Harvey Meals. Whether you go now or later, write the undersigned for descriptive literature, information about trains and rates. Ask all the questions you desire. We'll answer them. GEO. W. HAGENBUCH, General Agent/ The Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Railway Company 905 Main Street, KANSAS CITY, MO. John W. Glenister, of Providence, R. I., champion long distance swimmer of America, has performed noteworthy in this country and England. He has used Peruna as a tonic and gives his opinion of it in the following letter: Gentlemen—"This spring for the first time I have taken two bottles of Peruna, and, as it has done me a great deal of good, I feel as if I ought to say a good word for its worth. "During the springtime for the last few years, I have taken several kinds of spring -tonics, and have never received any benefit whatever. This year, through the advice of a friend, I have tried Peruna and it has given satisfaction. "I advise all athletes who are about to go in training to try a bottle, for it certainly gets the system in good shape." Yours truly. JOHN W. GLENISTER. Cheap Colonists MISS PAC RA $25.00 to California $25.00 to Sea Tac $20.00 to Salt Lake City, Utah Ogden, Utah. Tickets on Sale Daily Until May 15th. E. S. JEWETT, Gener Bell 'Phone 740 Hickory. $25 to VIA SA From Kansas City to Los Angeles. These are only a few of the places this rate. Proportionate reduction. You've heard of California's rich its picturesque scenery, the kind The place for farmer, tourist, in Tickets on sale—daily. Liberal stop-over price. No better train service. Three trains daily. Tourist Sleepers, Fre Whether you go now or later, write descriptive literature, information Ask all the questions you desire GEO. W. HAGENB The Atchison, Topeka & KANSAS Sometimes a man is able to avoid a scrape by letting his whiskers grow. "Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy gave me prompt and effective treatment. I love it. I love it." ARGENT A large 2-oz. package Red Cross Ball Blue, only 5 cents. The Russ Company, South Bend, Ind. It isn't always a compliment to tell a girl she's as pretty as a picture. Muen valuable information free about band instruments; write for the new catalogue to-day. JENKINS' MUSIC HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, MO. A THLETES realize the importance of securing and building A HISTORY realizes the importance of keeping in good bodily trim. The digestion must be good, the circulation perfect, sleep regular and enough of it. If the slightest catarrhal condition of lungs or stomach is allowed to remain, neither digestion nor sleep will be strength-sustaining. Those who lead very active lives, like athletes, with good muscular development, find the spring months especially trying. Athletes everywhere praise Peruna because they, of all men, appreciate the value of a tonic that dispels physical depression. The vocation of some men may allow them to endure the depressing feelings incident to spring weather, but the athlete must never allow himself to get "under the weather." He must keep in the "pink of condition" all the time. In order to do this he must avail himself of a spring tonic upon which he can rely. Therefore athletes are especially friendly toward Peruna. Peruna never tells them One Way Tickets DURI TIFIC Railway Island, Ore. Belle, Wash. $22.50 to Spokane, Wash. Ma, Wash. Pullman and Tourist Sleep- ing Cars. Free Beginning Chair Cars. For all Information Write or Call on Agent, 901 Main St. KANSAS CITY, MO. California SANTA FE San Diego, San Francisco. to which tickets may be bought at as from other points. oil, less of its climate. alid. March 1 to May 15. colleges. more than the Santa Fe's. Chair Cars, Harvey Meals. ate the undersigned for about trains and rates. We'll answer them. WCH, General Agent, Santa Fe Railway Company on Street, CITY, MO. ORGANS $20 to $40 Highest grade Estey Mason & Hamlin, Story & Clark, Kimball, Chicago, highly used guaranteed like new; special descriptions and prices for the asking. Write to-day. JENKINS' ORGIC HOUSE, KANSAS CITY, MO. When writing mention this paper. KIDDER'S PASTILLES A Sure Paste for Asthma Sold by all Drugs. or by mail. 25 cents. Charlestown, Mass. STOWELL & CO., Mrr. PISO'S CURE FOR GUMS WHEN ALL LICE FUR Best Cough Syrup, Tastes Good. Use in time. Sold by druggists. CONSUMPTION bers increase with health or decrease with illness or malnutrition. The best tonic for increasing the red blood corpuscles and building up healthy tissue is no doubt Doctor Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. This medicine has been on the market for over a third of a century and numbers its cures by the thousand. Let Common Sense Decide Do you honestly believe, that coffee sold loose (in bulk), exposed This has made LION COFFEE the LEADER OF ALL PACKAGE COFFEES. Millions of American Homes welcome LION COFFEE daily. There is no stronger proof of merit than continued and increasing popularity. "Quality survives all opposition." (Sold only in 1 lb. packages. Lion-head on every package.) (Save your Lion-heads for valuable premiums.) SOLD BY GROCERS EVERYWHERE WOOLSON SPICE CO., Toledo, Ohio. RACES! RACES! Kansas City Jockey Club Elm Ridge—Spring Meeting, 25 Days 6 Races Daily, Rain or Shine 6 APRIL 22 TO MAY 20 Derby Day, Saturday, April 22 VALUE DERBY. $6,500.00 It's the thoroughly modern and scientific system of loading and the use of only the best materials which make Winchester Factory Loaded "New Rival" Shells give better pattern, penetration and more uniform results generally than any other shells. The special paper and the Winchester patent corrugated head used in making "New Rival" shells give them strength to withstand reloading. BE SURE TO GET WINCHESTER MAKE OF SHELLS. THE PATRIOT SHOE for Men is made from all leathers, over one and a half comfortable socks, to it any foot. They are Goodearwits, which mean flexible shoes with high archs to irritate the foot. THE MAYFLOWER SHOE for Women is made from all hand turns, is stylish, durable and comfortable. Ask your shoes designer to make these shoes write us direct. They will please you and you will give 10 cents to $1.50 per pair in prices usually charged for shoes of this character. 7 STAR BRAND SHOES ARE BETTER! ROBERTS JOHNSON & RAND SHOE CO. 51 LOUISVILLE THOMAS A. EDISON, the inventor, in mapping out the problems of the future, gives first place to the necessity of fighting the bacteria which give us our diseases. Next to the actual bacteria of disease, the mosquitos and flies are the most dangerous enemies of man. The mosquito with its bite injects into our veins malaria, yellow fever, and other fatal troubles. The fly, with spongy feet, collects the invisible germs of diseases, spreads them over our food and poisons us with typhoid, cholera and other plagues of the human race. GOOD RED BLOOD OUR AMMUNITION. The blood which flows through our veins and arteries should contain healthy red blood corpuscles which are capable of warding off the attack of the disease germs if they get into the system. Dr. Pierce, the eminent physician of Buffalo, N. Y., says, "if each person will consider his system as an army of men which he controls as a general, and will see to its proper provisioning and that it has plenty of ammunition in the shape of good red blood, he will be able to overcome the enemy in the shape of the germs of disease." Every healthy person has five million red blood cells or corpuscles to every square millimeter of blood. The number of red blood corpuscles in the average human being is so great that it is almost incomprehensible. However, their num- Let Common Do you honestly believe, that c THE LION This has made LION COFFEE Millions of American Home There is no stronger proof of n ing popularity. "Quality surv (Sold only in 1 lb. packages. (Save your Lion-head SOLD BY GROCER RACES! Kansas City Elm Ridge—Spring 6 Races Daily, I APRIL 22 T Derby Day, Saturday, WINCH 'NEW RIVAL' It's the thoroughly ing and the use of Winchester Factory Ler ter pattern, penetration ally than any other sh chester patent corrug Rival" shells give th BE SURE TO GET W MENS PATRIOT $3.25 SHOE These Shoes w Grand Prize at St. The PATRIOT SHOE for over English ye comfortable Goodyear welts, which means f to irritate the foot. The MA is made with excellent turns, I Ask your dealer for them, write us direct. They will please cents to $1.60 per pair in price this character. STAR BRAND SH ROBERTS JOHNSON ST. LOUIS W. N. U., KANSAS CITY, NO. 18, 1905. Afflicted with sore eyes, use Thompson's Eye Water SWENTY BUSHELS OF WHEAT FARMS IN WESTERN CANADA FREE FARMSTERN WESTERN CANADA FREE Is the record on the Free Homestead Lands of Western Canada for 1904. The 150,000 farmers from the United States, who during the past seven years have gone to Canada participate in this property. The United States will soon become an importer of grain. Get government assistance to purchase a farm in Western Canada, and become one of those who will help produce it. Apply for information to Superintendent of Imaginary Gribbles, Canada, or to authorized Canadian Government Agent-J. S. Crawford. No. 125 W. Ninth Street, Kansas City, Missouri. Please say where you saw this advertisement. As soon as the mate completed his task of burying the treasure, the plate chief shot him in the back. "I'm a spiritualist," he mused, "and I don't believe that 'dead men tell no tales,' but I have never heard of anyone finding buried treasure by following a dead man's directions." Perhaps she was not strong in the faith, or he may have had an old score to settle with the mate, but, at any rate, he put him out of the way—Detroit Tribune. n Sense Decide The Girl—There's a sucker at the end of that line. "Nellie," spoke the youth, with an air of confidence, "only say the word and you and I will sail together on the rough sea of life, bravely buffeting its waves, trimming our sails to meet the adverse winds that— "Leave me, Harry, leave me," interrupted the maiden. "The man who takes me on that journey must offer me a first-class passage on a steamer." Whereupon Harry cast off the line of affection for Nellie and sailed out of her presence with a decided list to port. "Is Mr. Rockefeller the richest man in the world?" asked Young Mrs. Wealthywife. BE the LEADER OF ALL PACKAGE COFFEES. James welcome LION COFFEE daily. of merit than continued and increase- survives all opposition." ages. Lion-head on every package.) heads for valuable premiums. RACES! Jockey Club Meeting, 25 Days Rain or Shine 6 TO MAY 20 July, April 22 VALUE DERBY. $6,500.00 HESTER "BLACK POWDER SHELLS. Only modern and scientific system of load- of only the best materials which make Loaded "New Rival" Shells give bet- tion and more uniform results gener- shells. The special paper and the Win- rugged head used in making "New them strength to withstand reloading. WINCHESTER MAKE OF SHELLS. WOMEN'S MAYFLOWER $250 SHOE Were Awarded St. Louis World's Fair for Men is made from all leathers. The last, to fit any foot. They are flexible shoes with no wounds. MAYFLOWER SHOE for Women Is stylish, durable and comfortable. If he does not handle these shoes, please you and you will save from 50 orrices usually charged for shoes of SHOES ARE BETTER LION & RAND SHOE CO. U.S.A. in the world Wealthy wife. "He was replied the glance. And Mrs pleased that put through scheme for market. Wh "No," said in Swamph, Florida all California for "I should Swamphurst man. "Really?" "Of course it."—Philade W The baby ing a group high he co- used his rig asked him: "Can't you foot?" "Course I've got to tle Chronicle. Mr. Soak hic—been h hic—but I for a smile, Mrs. Soak "He was until you became mine," replied the husband with a tender glance. And Mrs. Wealthywife was so pleased that she let him have $40 to put through his latest infallible scheme for whipsawing the stock market. "No," said Subbubs, "he's not living in Swamphurst now. He's been in Florida all winter, and now he's in California for his health." "I should think he'd go back to Swamphurst for it," remarked Cititman. "Really?" "Of course. That's where he lost it."—Philadelphia Press. The baby of the family was showing a group of admiring relatives how high he could kick. As he always used his right foot, one of the aunties asked him: "Can't you kick with your other foot?" "Course not," was the answer. "I've got to stand on that one."—Little Chronicle. Mr. Soaker (4 a. m.)—I'd have— hic—been home before, my deearh— hic—but I stopped in the —hic—club for a smile, and— Mrs. Soaker—You look as though you had enjoyed a pretty hearty laugh. Great Changes Since Then. "There isn't a doubt that my 7-year- old daughter thinks I am a windbag as far as early education goes." "How is that?" "I tried last night to show her something about geography—forgetting that all I knew about it I earned thirty years ago." Highest Award World's Fair, 1904. A. J. TOWER CO. The Sign of the Fish Boston, U.S.A. TOWER'S Tower Canadian Co. Limited Toronto, Canada Makers of Warranted Wet Weather Clothing His Attt "Who's g pennant?" "Haven't ing myself" "Haven't any idea. I've been shaw ing myself lately." A tonic made up largely of alcohol will shrink the corpuscles of the blood and make them weaker for resistance. A cod liver oil makes the stomach groan because it is irritating. What is needed is an alternative extract made of roots and herbs, without the use of alcohol, that will assist the stomach in assimilating or taking up from the food such elements as are required for the blood, also an alternative that will assist the activity of the liver and cause it to throw off the poisons in the blood. When we have accomplished this we have put the system in a fortified condition so strong that it can repel the germs of disease which we find everywhere—in the street-cars, the shops, the factories, the bedrooms, wherever many people congregate, or where sunlight and good air does not penetrate. Accept no substitute for "Golden Medical Discovery." There is nothing "just as good" for diseases of the stomach, blood and lungs. Dear Sir--Your "Golden Medical Discovery" is a sick man's friend. For the past seven years my health gradually failed. I lost my apperience, very dependent and unable to sleep. No medicine helped me until I tried Doctor Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. It put new life into my veins and allowed until I could once more enjoy life and attend to my business. Eight bottles affected a complete cure and simply do recommend it. Very simple. GEO. N. TURNER. 2008 California St., Denver, Colo. Ex. Financial Secretary International Masters. The bible of the body is the name given to Dr. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Adviser, of which over two million copies have been sold. Send 21 cents in one-cent stamps, for this 1000-page book in paper covers, or 31 stamps for the cloth-bound. Address Dr. R. V. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y. t coffee sold loose (in bulk), exposed to dust, germs and insects, passing through many hands (some of them not over-clean), "blended, you don't know how or by whom, is it for your use? Of course you don't. But LION COFFEE is another story. The green berries, selected by keen judges at the plantation, are skillfully roasted at our factories, where precautions you would not dream of are taken to secure. perfect cleanliness, flavor, strength and uniformity. From the time the coffee leaves the factory no hand touches it till it is opened in your kitchen. "All Signs Fall in a Dry Time" THE SIGN OF THE FISH NEVER FAILS IN A WET TIME In ordering Towers' Slickers, a customer writes: "I know they will be all right if they have the 'FISH' on them." The thickness of out- growth of sixty-nine years of careful manufacturing. HUMOUR of the DAY On Treasure Island 'Course Not. His Affections Shipwrecked Flattery. Where to Look for It. "Really?" Why. of Course. Mrs. Soaker's Retort. What is Castoria. CASTORIA is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Paregoric, Drops and Soothing Syrups. It is pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys Worms and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The children's Panacea—The Mother's Friend. The Kind You Have Always Bought, and which has been in use for over 30 years, has borne the signature of Chas. H. Fletcher, and has been made under his personal supervision since its infancy. Allow no one to deceive you in this. All Counterfeits, Imitations and "Just-as-good" are but Experiments that trifle with and endanger the health of Infants and Children—Experience against Experiment EMPRESS OF RUSSIA. A recent writer says of Catherine the Great, empress of Russia from the year 1762 to 1796, that while playing whist one night she could not get her page to answer the bell. "After she had rung twice again without effect she left the room, looking daggers, and did not reappear for a considerable time. The company supposed that the unfortunate page was destined for Siberia or at least the knot. As a matter of face, Catherine on entering the anti-cramber found the little page, like his betters, busy at the same game she had been playing. When the bell rang he happened to have so interesting a hand that he could not make up his mind to quit. Now, what did the empress do? She dispatched the page on her errand, and then quietly sat down to hold his cards until he returned." An Average Housekeeper. Mrs. Bingle—What perfectly horrible weather we are having. I haven't seen the sun for a week, and everything is moldy. Mrs. Bingle (a day later)—Mercy on us! Mary, the sun is shining right in on the carpets. Close the blinds. Application of the Idea Gayman (in front of the mirror)—I don't know hether to wear a white necktie or a black one this evening. What is good form for a man over sixty? Mrs. Gayman—Chloroform.—Chicago Tribune. A Great Discovery. Clayton, Tex., May 1st.—(Special) That a genuine cure for Diabetes has been discovered is the opinion of Mr. J. H. Bailey of this place. Speaking of the matter, Mr. Bailey says: "I believe Dodd's Kidney Pills is the best remedy for Diabetes and the only one that has ever been discovered that will cure Diabetes. "I have a genuine case of Diabetes. I have taken seven boxes of Dodd's Kidney Pills and am still taking them. They have helped me so much that I am now up and able to work some. I believe that if I had conformed strictly to a Diabetes diet I would now have been completely cured." Dodd's Kidney Pills have cured hundreds of cases of Diabetes and never once failed. It is an old saying that what will cure Diabetes will cure any form of Kidney Disease and that's just exactly what Dodd's Kidney Pills do. They cure all kidney diseases from Backache to Bright's Disease. Yes, give the devil his dues. He always gives a man good reasons for every evil deed into which he leads. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup. For children teething, softens the gums, reduces inflammation, allays pain, cures wint-collo. Zoe a bottle. Every time there's a weeding in a small village the liverman sighs at the loss of another good customer. CASTORIA is a harmless Soothing Syrups. I other Narcotic substance. I Feverishness. It cures Dian- cures Constipation and Flat- and Bowels, giving health Mother's Friend. The Kind You Have 30 years, has borne the sig- his personal supervision sin All Counterfeits, Imitations and endanger the health of 9,00 DROPS CASTORIA A Vegetable Preparation for Assimilating the Food and Regulating the Stomachs and Bowels of INFANTS & CHILDREN Promotes Digestion, Cheerfulness and Rest. Contains neither Opnum, Morphine nor Mineral. NOT NARCOTIC. Europe of Old Dr. SIMUEL PITCHER Pumpkin Seed - Alx Sorea - Rochallia Salve - Amin Seed - Pumpkin Seed - Oil Carbona Salve - Wero Seed - Cerutied Seed - Whirgworm Flour A perfect Remedy for Constipation, Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea, Worms, Convulsions, Feverishness and LOSS OF SLEEP. Rac Simile Signature of Ch. A. W. Witton NEW YORK. A 16 months old 35 Doses - 35 CENTS EXART COPY OF WRAPPEB. --- A TRAINED NURSE Mrs Martha Pohlman nausated. I had an acrid discharge and pains down through my limbs so I could hardly walk. It was as bad a case of female trouble as I have ever known. Lydia E. Lydia E. Compound however, cured me within four months. Time I have had occasion to recommend it to a number of patients suffering from all forms of female difficulties, and I find that while it is considered unprofessional to recommend a patent medicine, I can honestly use a vegetable Compound, for I have found that female ills, where other medicine fails. It is a grand medicine for sick women." Money cannot buy such testimony as this—merit alone can produce such results, and the ablest specialists now agree that Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is the most universally successful remedy for all female diseases known to medicine. When women are troubled with irregular, suppressed or painful menstruation, weakness, leucorrhoea, displacement or ulceration of the womb, that bearing-down feeling, inflammation of the ovaries, backache, bloating (or flatulence), general debility, indigestion, and nervous prostration, or are beset with such symptoms as dizzi PINKHAM's Vegetable Compound. Experience has proved this. It is well for women who are ill to write Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mason. In her great experience, which covers many years, she has probably had a deal with dozens of cases just like yours. Her advice is free and confidential. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound Succeeds Where Others Fail PILES NO MONEY TILL CURED. 28 YEARS ESTABLISHED. We send FREE and postpaid a 250-page treatise on Piles, Fistula and Diseases of the Rectum; also 168-page illus. treatise on Diseases of Women. Of the thousands currently would need, no pupa can till cure them to wail their names on application. DR. THORNTON & MINOR. 209 019 Oak St. RANBAS CITY, NY 1030 Oak St. RANBAS CITY, NY Letters from Prominent Physicians addressed to Chas. H. Fletcher. Dr. N. B. Sizer, of Brooklyn, N. Y., says: "I object to what are called patent medicaIon the formula of your Castoria and advise its ingredients are put in them, but I know the formula of your Castoria and advise its ingredients are put in them." The Kind You Have Always Bought In Use For Over 30 Years. Mrs. Martha Pohlman of 55 Chester Avenue, Newark, N. J., who is a graduate Nurse from the Blockley Training School, at Philadelphia, and for six years Chief Clinie Nurse at the Philadelphia Hospital, writes the letter printed below. She has the advantage of personal experience, besides her professional education, and what she has to say may be absolutely relied upon. Many other women are afflicted as she was. They can regain health in the same way. It is prudent to heed such advice from such a source. Mrs, Pohlman writes: "I am firmly persuaded, after eight years of experience with Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, that it is the safest and best medicine any suffering woman to use." "I immediately after my marriage I found that my health began to fail me. I became weak and pale, with severe bearing-down pains, fearful backaches and frequent spells. The doctors prescri- pure me. The doctors prescri- pure me. I would bloat after eating and frequently become ness, faintness, lassitude, excitability, irritability, nervousness, sleepiness, melancholy, "all-gone" and "want-to-be-left-alone" feelings, blues and hopelessness, they should remove ber there is one tried and true remedy Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound at once removes such troubles. No other female medicine in the world has received such widespread and unqualified endorsement. No other medicine has such a record of curses of female troubles. The needless suffering of women from diseases peculiar to their sex is terrible to see. The money which they pay to doctors who do not help them is an enormous waste. The pain is cursed and the money is saved by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound. Experience has proved this. It is well for women who are ill to write Mrs. Pinkham, at Lynn, Mass. In her great experience, which covers many years, she has probably had to deal with dozens of cases just like yours. Her advice is free and confidential.