Cayton's Weekly

State Library Cayton's Weekly CAYTON'S WEEKLY Published every Saturday at Seattle, Washington, U. S. A. In the interest of equal rights and equal justice to all men and for "all men up." A publication of general information, but in the main voicing the sentiments of the Colored Citizens. It is open to the towns and communities of the state of Washington to air their public grievances. Social and church notices are solicited for publication and will be handled according to the rules of journalism. Subscription $2 per year in advance. Special rates made to clubs and societies. HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON..Editor and Publisher TELEPHONE: BEACON 1910 EASTER OFFERING This Easter morning, the anniversary of the Ascension of Him, who died for the redemption of fallen man, our Father in Heaven, we pray for a re-baptism of the Holy Ghost; we pray for a redistribution of the love of Heaven among the peoples of this earth, that each and all of us may love our neighbors as ourselves, and that we may all do unto others as we would have them do to us; we pray thee that man be freed from the greed of gain tothe detriment of his fellowman that all of us may live in peace with man and beast. Touch the hearts of those precipitating the wholesale slaughter of men inthe present world-war, and turn them from the fields of carnage and destruction. Send again, we pray thee, thy Son to drive the devil and his imps from the temples devoted to thy honor and glory. Christianize the hearts of the rulers of men and nations that they may disarm their warring hosts that may return to the bosoms of their families, where they will serve Thee around their firesides until called to "that house not made with hands, eternal in the Heavens." Mighty God, Creator of Heavens and earth, save the souls that are returning to the God that gave them from the bloody battlefields, and may they find rest from their sorrows in thy everlasting Kingdom. Sooth the sorrows, the sobs and the sighs of the mothers and children who are weeping in silence at home for husbands and fathers, and may they, too, be baptised in the love of Christ, and in future live in the assurance that their souls will be received among the Angels, when to them time is no more. May this drenching of human blood be the initiation of the Millenium when all men will recognize the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man. THE OLD. OLD STORY "I have just gotten in from a nine months' sea voyage," said J. A. Hassell, one of Seattle's well known colored citizens, "and the old berg show looks good to me. Prior to leaving the city, I was all run-down physically and my physician recommended such a trip, which he thought would restore my health. I got an opportunity to sign up with a seafairing craft bound for Melbourne, Australia, and I jumped at the chance. "Many years ago I was in Australia, and after seeing much of the country, I concluded it was a haven of rest as well as refuge for the colored man. There he seemed to be doing well and stood on an equal footing with the white man. He was prosperous in business and, on the whole, it looked to me at that time that there the black and white folks would fully and completely recognize the fatherhood of God and the brotherhood of man, but, to my surprise years thereafter, a hue-in-cry came up from Australia to the effect that, the white citizens wanted a white Australia, and to that end drastic laws excluding all darker races, including the American colored man, from entering its ports only under bond had been enacted. I was curious to know how such a change could have come over the white citizens, hence my anxiety to revisit the country and see if I could figure out to my own satisfaction the reason why. "Our vessel was in the Melbourne port for a considerable time and I made many visits to the city, and even to some of the rural districts, and I not only inquired about, but observed the status of racial conditions there, and I think I learned much. "The average white citizen of Australia, in my opinion, is just as kindly disposed toward the darker races today as when I first visited the country, but it was that class of white citizens that belonged to organized labor that were responsible for those drastic exclusion laws, which were passed when its representatives controlled the various legislative bodies of that country. Organized labor there, as here, is putting up just as hard fight to suppress the colored man in the labor marts as it is to control capital in the industrial marts. But, I am glad to say, organized labor in Australia seems to have run its race and is rapidly on the wane. "Speaking about the classes in Australia reminds me that in a general population of a fraction over five million inhabitants there are nearly 2,000,000 aborigonees, about 150,000 colored folks from the neighboring islands, and about 150,000 Japanese and Chinese, about 1,000 American colored folks, and the balance white folks. It will thus be seen that it's a matter of utter impossibility to make a "white" Australia of that country. "Australia is rich in natural resources and some day it will be one of the world's chief storehouses. At present there are millions of bushels of wheat in the sheds and graneries of that country, despite the fact there is a wheat and flour shortage in this country, as well as in Europe. But it is impossible to get boats to bring it away. Eggs retail for 14 cents a dozen and cheese for 10 cents per pound, and all other products are of a like value, but as said above, it cannot be gotten out of the country. "And now, another thought about the labor conditions. I am convinced that organized labor has outlived its usefulness, if it ever had any there, and the government at present is in the hands of the common-sense white citizens, and Australia will overthrow its color exclusion laws. The country has been 120 years getting a five million population on account of its organized labor handicap, and the leading white citizens will tolerate such a state of affairs no longer." GRAFTING A GOVERNMENT FEATURE The man who said "the Americans are money-mad," made no grave mistake, and so mad for money are they that they will devise all kinds of near-robbery schemes in order to get the much coveted "almighty dollar." National, state, county and city governments are manipulated by grafters and thieves in sheeps' clothes by such scoundrels. VOL.2, No.42 who inveigle themselves in to office, so as to enable them to rob the government cash box of multiplied millions of dollars. Even in these war times unscrupulous men are systematically robbing the government of millions of dollars. An investigation is now going on in Hog Island, where the government has been duped out of millions of dollars. And as in this instance so almost in all where the "patriotic" citizens have dealings with the government treasurer. From a Chicago paper it was learned that that city's expert testimony during the year 1917 cost the taxpayers $736,326, the most of which was drawn down by political ward heelers, who had been more or less instrumental in the nomination and election of the alderman of his ward, but who knew little or nothing of the thing they were giving expert testimony on. One, John F. Wallace, a Chicago ward heeler, who was made expert testifier by the alderman in the ward in which both of them resided, received during the year 1917 $36,000 for the expert testimony he gave to prevent the city from being robbed. In another ward Frank H. Mesce, also an aldermanic ward heeler, was paid $35,398 for 1917. Here are two men who drew from the government a salary a little short of that paid to the President of the United States, and yet the people put up with it and stand for it, and we sometimes think they do so in the hope that a like streak of lightning will some day hit them. Appropriating the valuables of the government for the benefit of an individual is not considered thievery by persons in office, and yet it is. A few years ago when one, James E. Bradford, was corporation counsel of Seattle, he was charged with building up a system of professional expert testifiers, and God knows where it would have ended had it not pleased the daily papers to defeat him for reasons and causes different from the expert testimony grafters he was accused of fostering. Public grafters should be dealt with according to law, if possible, but if not possible, then dealt with according to the vigilance committee law. CALIFORNIA HUMANE SOCIETY We feel like saying Amen to the P-I for roasting that branch of the so-called humane society down in California that is shedding crockadile tears over the slaughter of jackrabbits, when human beings are being butchered almost by the millions over in Europe, but granting that to be too far fetched for minds so dwarfed as are the members of the California branch of the humane society, if it would cast a scrutinizing eye over the south of this country, it would see black men being burned at the stake and the occasion made a general holiday, with the men and women fighting over the charred remains for pieces as souvenirs. It would see colored mothers and babies hung to limbs of trees because they aided a brother to escape from a like torture and death. It would see young colored women in their teens made the victims of the animal passions of white fiends incarnate and their fathers, brothers and often young husbands driven out of the country because they demurred. In its madness to protect the rabbits and cayotes the California branch of the humane society has fully demonstrated that, it has to strain at swallowing a gnat, but swallows a camel with perfect ease. If the churches, the humane societies and ```markdown ``` the kindred organizations for the protection of birds, beasts, fowls and fishes, would show one-half as much interest in protecting innocent colored men, women and children from wholesale butchery as they do the dumb brutes, then this burning at the stake of human beings because their skins are black would come to an abrupt end. In this we are reminded of a white woman in Seattle not long since who was almost in hysteria over the treatment the Armenian people were undergoing at the hands of the Turks, but when she was told of a like treatment the white folks of our own Sunny South were daily imposing on the colored citizens of that section and organized labor all over this "land of the free and home of the brave," she hesitated for a moment and then replied, "I never heard of it and it cannot be so, for I do not see it in the papers." If we are really and truly Christians we should first set our own house in order before trying to set someone else's house in order. No, she has not nor will not see it in the daily papers, because the daily papers take no cognizance of crimes committed on colored persons, and only mention colored folk when they are accused of crimes against white folks. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT If Bob Ingersoll was alive today he would read of the multiplied thousands of men being daily slaughtered in the European war and would exultingly look up from his paper and exclaim to Christianity, "I told you so." No war as far back as there are any authentic records was ever a thousandth part as barbarous as the one now raging between nations, all of them claiming that God is on its side. How commanders can have the heart to sacrifice a million brave men to win or hold a point is more than we can figure out. Five years ago if one had have predicted such a slaughter of men such an one would have been pronounced a madman, because Christianity is too firmly fixed in the human heart to tolerate such a wilful slaughter of human beings. But a few years ago Russia and Japan had a set to and after a few short sharp battles, which resulted in the sacrifice of quite a few men on both sides, the Christian nations of the world rose supreme to the moment and intervened for the sake of Christ and humanity, but in this case the "Christians" are in the deadly conflict and Christ is asked to help us, but if you won't help us, then do not help the other fellow, and you will see the darndest fight in the history of the world. But the fight is one, and regardless of who is right or wrong, the troubles that were responsible for the war should be settled full and complete, if it leaves but a wreck behind. The fighting for the past week has been the hardest of the war, and though the Germans have gained some few miles of territory they have done so at an awful toll of human life. MAKE A BUSINESS OF IT Vacant and back lot gardening should be systematically done, and the vegetables grown properly thereon conserved for future use, or such gardening will be worth little or nothing. In the course of a season two or three crops of table peas should be grown, and as fast as they ripen they should be gathered and put up in glass jars, and the same rule applied to string beans, beets, and such other things as can be put up for the winter. Every family should have from 100 to 300 quart jars of vegetables put up for the winter from their own gardens. In September get a load of barnyard fertilizer and put on the ground and spade it under well and sow it to turnips, which will give you turnips and tops until Christmas and greens for early spring. By going at this gardening business systematically a family can save itself at least $150 per year. If you undertake a thing do it well, or do not do it at all. This gardening back yards and vacant lots may be at this time a war necessity, but even that is not to be considered with the fact that it is a family, and likewise economic neces- sity. Had city families in the past made their back yards and their neighboring vacant lots useful instead of ornamental, such families would not have been so much at the mercy of the trust hogs of this country. If properly prepared, cultivated and the vegetables carefully conserved a plot of ground 40x50 feet can be made to provide sufficient vegetables for the maintenance of an ordinary family. OPENING THE GATES Andrew R. Black has been invited to address the Seattle Municipal League next Tuesday. This is worthy of more than a passing mention because of the fact that its the first instance in the history of the League in this city that it has extended an invitation to a colored man to talk to its members in the interest of better government. Mr. Black is a successful legal practitioner of Seattle and this statement does not have to be qualified with "colored," and we have no doubt but that he is as well versed in statecraft as any member of the League and he perhaps would be a whole lot better than he is if so many of the white men promoting and propagating such doctrines and creeds did not suffer from colorphobia. In these trying times, when General Graft is so active in all governments, men should organize to combat his activities and the organization should not let the color of a brainy man's skin overlook his usefulness. Colored men have as much interest in good government as white men and are ready and willing to cooperate with them, but they refrain from doing so because they are snubbed and belittled simply because their skins are a bit darker than a majority of the members of the good government clubs and organizations. BETTER WAGES ARE NEEDED A leading official of the Southern Pacific Railway Company gives it out that women porters on their trains may come next and adds, they would also be used as conductors and trainmen if the unions would admit them to membership. The porters all being colored men and unorganized the officials will not hesitate to take their jobs from them, which, in the opinion of the writer, would be a blessing in disguise. If the colored men were thrown out of those jobs there are hundreds and thousands of positions that pay more wages begging for them. This reminds us of a conversation we overheard one day this week about train porters, which in substance was as follows: "The colored train porters never had such a golden opportunity to demand and get better wages than at present, and we truly hope they have the nerve to make the demand. Their places cannot be filled at this time and if the porters will just hang together their wages will be raised to at least $100 per month and in some instances more. These men are working at starvation wages, the same as they have been working for ever since there have been colored train porters, and the only way they have to make a living for themselves and families is by playing the lick spittle to the traveling public in the hope of getting a tip. Its time colored men stand together and make a fight for their rights and we trust every train porter will consider himself a committee of one to initiate this fight. Let them out! Well let the railroad officials do so, the men can, as said above, get better paying jobs and a great many more manly ones. In Seattle and Tacoma every train porter that comes across the mountains could find employment at lucrative wages in two days after he was let out or quit. Make a fight, men, for your rights while fighting is good." HIS LECTURE TOO CLASSICAL Edwin G. Cox, professor of the Sociological department of the University of Washington, lectured to the Brotherhood of the Mt. Zion Baptist Church last Tuesday evening and it was well and truly a scholarly one from the first to the last sentence. Whether ten per cent of those present actually followed his convincing thread of argument or even cared to do so, is a more or less debatable question. It was undoubtedly the outburst of a well educated brain, but did not reach the every day life of those present or any other class of working men in this country. That paper was doubtless an ideal one for classitudinarians, but was simply a sleep-elixir for the most of those present. Men who have toiled all day are in no condition to give rapt attention to a lecture full and overflowing with sylogisms, conclusions and rebutals. Had Prof. Cox discussed the social, economic or industrial questions he would have observed a stronger mental acquiescence in his audience. The lecture and the audience at the time it was being delivered much reminded us of an occasion in the old Seattle theatre many years ago. Padarewsky, the great pianist, was staged for the evening and "sawciety" had turned out en masse for the occasion, paying from $6 to $10 per seat. He played one selection and then another, and the writer being there on a pass took a cursory glance over the audience to see why he was not being applauded and, horror of horrors, the occupants of those $10 seats, for the most part were either fast asleep or struggling with all their might and main to keep their eyelids open. He was doing the best classical piano playing in the world and such as a Seattle audience had never heard before, but nobody save himself was aware of it. Yes, a few of course enjoyed it, but it was unappreciated by the great rank and file of those present. We often wondered why he did not set that house to howlnig like a hungry hyena by playing America, Star Spangled Banner or when Johnny Comes Marching Home. Who can not adapt his or herself to the surroundings is but a literary theorist and not the person to talk to working men and women. AVOIDING TREASON I would not, like a traitor, fall, my back against a limestone wall, a firing squad in front; 'twould be a dismal way to end the little path I humbly wend, this finish to my stunt. So I keep tab upon my tongue, and see that loyal words are sprung, when I rear up and spiel; disloyal words may do great harm, may paralyze some soldier's arm, and make him drop his steel. The careless talkers drift around and fret and scold and paw the ground; perhaps they mean no ill; but they'd be pained if they could know how far their idle yawpings go to hearten Kaiser Bill. In times of peace each native gent could stand and cuss the government until his lungs went lame; I used to do it, I confess; we all enjoyed it more or less, and all indorsed the game. Free speech is numbered with the boons for which our fathers soaked their spoons and stripped the strong box bare; when gentle peace is here once more, we'll all be privileged to roar and rant around and swear. But now sweet peace is done to death; and he who uses up his breath to grumble and complain, to show that all we do is wrong, is striving hourly to prolong the Teuton tyrant's reign. I would not like a traitor swing from some tall tree where robins sing, a rope around my neck; and so I spring the kind of dope that reeks of confidence and hope, and always will, by heck. WALT MASON. Scott Harris and family, of Everett, Wn., will repeat their famous musical and literary entertainment, Thursday evening, April 4th, at 8:30 P. M. at the Mt. Zion Baptist church, 11th and East Union, given under auspices of Company A. A general invitation is extended to everybody to attend. Refreshments will be served. Admission 25c; Children under ten years, 15. R. A. Clark, captain; Mrs. Nannie Staton, Secretary. Cayton's Weekly publishes legal notices at current rates. Main 24. --- It's time to get the garden habit. Get ready to grab a third Liberty Bond. Organized labor's Short man has gone to Europe. Seattle School Director Winsor lives in Snohomish. It is reported that the Bone of the P-I is only a cigarette. Andrew R. Black thought of getting an automobile, but changed his mind and got a Ford. Jimmie Duncan is being ignored by the daily papers, and the labor temple lobsters are sore. No, dear reader, Gene Griffin does not own the Cascade Laundry, but he makes money enough to do so. A move is on foot to reduce the size of the daily papers, and in the interest of a long suffering public, we truly hope it will be done. With Rockefeller getting a hundred million dollars annually in the shape of dividends, he doubtless does not care if the war never ends. Bert Sweza was not elected mayor of Seattle, but he is a perpetual parade grand marshall, and who would be mayor under such circumstances? Let's get together, prays a colored leader to his friends. If you think you will ever succeed in getting us together let it take place in an open field where running is good. Mrs. Sarah Grose was a useful pioneer, accumulated a vast amount of property, and was a life-long friend of everybody, and yet the P-I announced her death in a two-line article. It looks very much like that the Central Powers want the Allies to kill so many men that the sight of slaughtered humanity will so horrify them that they will flee from the field of dead men. It is said that if Bro. Maney ever goes on the witness stand he will be called on to explain a great many things that he has probably overlooked in the preparation of his court papers, and if he does something may happen to him. Many of the F. F. V.'s (first families of Virginia), it is officially reported, have gone into the business of manufacturing camouflage whiskey, which is giving the federal government all kinds of trouble. What those "aristocrats" down in Virginia won't do is not in the books. When asked what he thought of Chief Warren, a colored clubman of Seattle, said, "he is cleaning up the town, and all sports, white or black, look alike to him. He is on the square, and though he has destroyed my business he has not made fish of the white sport and mud of the colored sport. Of all men, a double-crosser is the most despicable, and Warren is not that. Perhaps Senator LaFollett deserves expulsion from the senate on account of his utterances, but its like holy water coming from the devil when his expulsion eminates from John Sharp Williams, who is a member of the senate by virtue of the high handed murders that have been committed in the state of Mississippi for his and his party's benefit. No man in the senate is more deserving of expulsion than John Sharp Williams and its unmittigated gaul for him to speak one condemnatory word against LaFollett. If Williams got his just deserts he would not only be expelled from the senate, but would be put on trial for murder conspiracy. --- NEGRO SOLDIERS IN THE WARS OF THE WORLD By Irene McCoy Gaines The little island of Hayti furnishes the scene and battle field upon which the Negro has given to the world the greatest example of the military genius of the Negro race which has been presented in modern times, and which is perhaps unsurpassed in any other age of the-world's history. Having been slaves for centuries, the Haytian blacks decided to throw off their yoke of bondage by an appeal to arms; and they afford the only illustration in the history of the human race where slaves unaided have risen against their masters and secured their freedom by their military valor and courageous fighting. In this attempt to throw off their bondage the Haytian Negroes were pitted against the Spanish, French and English armies, and in turn defeated them all. Toussaint l'Ouverture was the guiding spirit of the Haytian army, and was assisted by his faithful generals, Jean Francois, Baisou Jeanot, and Christophe. The distinguished black military leader and his Negro soldiers not only defeated the English and Spanish armies, but they defeated the French generals in command of the very flower of Napoleon's army. General Lamartinerie and Magny successfully defended Fort Crete-A-Pierrot with only 900 black soldiers against the French army of 20,000 strong. The Haytian Negro general Jean Louis Villatte successfully defended Cape Francais from September, 1795, to March, 1796, against the combined naval and land forces of England and Spain, which is only equalled by General Elliot's defense of Gibraltar in 1704. This Revolutionary war of Haytian freedom affords innumerable instances not only of the Negro's courage, but his military genius and the highest forms of statescraft. Although the Haytian soldiers were poor, ragged, and half clad, they made up in courage and patriotism what they lacked in money. They not only secured their freedom but they conquered the whole island of Hayti and reared upon the remnants of the European colonial government the inspiring structure of a Negro republic, a democracy of black men which still exists today as an imposing monument to the Negro's ability in war and in government. In the last charge that determined the victory of the Negro soldiers over the French, the Haytian soldiers were led by the great Toussaint l'Ouverture, and it is said that these black soldiers were so impressed by the commanding personality of their distinguished general that they regarded his appearance upon the battle field of death and carnage as an inspiring gift from the gods. The Haytians threw themselves with desperation upon the wavering and faltering columns of the French army; the black soldiers formed and charged again and again and as they charged the last time they went singing "La Marsaillaise." the national anthem of France When the French soldiers heard their national anthem some cheered, some wept, but the entire command, exhausted and shattered, staggered back to the coast, and Hayti was free forever! No language, however rich, can measure the services which the Negro soldiers of Hayti have rendered the Negros of the world in their conspicuous example of self-won freedom. Words are inadequate to express the valor and bravery of these Negro soldiers and their illustrious leader, Toussaint l'Ouverture. Wendell Phillips, the prince of anti-slavery oratory, in an oration at Fanuel hall, paid the greatest tribute to Hayti's greatest Negro soldier that perhaps was ever paid to any soldier of the world. Among so many true and beautiful things he said: "Now, blue-eyed Saxon, proud of your race, go back with me to the commencement of the century and select what statesmen you please. Let him be either American or European; let him have a brain the result of six generations of culture; let him have the rich- est training of university routine; let him add to it the better education of practical life; crown his temples with the silver of seventy years, and show me the man of Saxon lineage for whom his most sanguine admirers will wreathe a laurel such as embittered foes have placed on the brow of the Negro, Toussaint l'Ouverture."—Chicago Broadax. LET US PRAY Our Father, it is the faith that you are "Our Father" that gives us strength to go forward in this, our American life. We thank you for the ideals of Jesus. That so many preach His life and do not live it, when we are concerned, distresses our soul. Our distress is not that of baby or coward. We think and we act. But how sweet it would be to live in peace; how inspiring to feel that the fine words we hear on FREEDOM, Democracy, Justice, and Brother Love were vital messages of unquestioned truth. God of Our Fathers, rebaptize this nation of ours with Eternal Justice. Temper your wrath with mercy for those who confess the guilt of their injustices to men—all men—but spare not the proud and stiff-necked; humble such, God, even to bringing them "down to the vile dust from whence they sprung, unwept, unhonored and unsung." Giveth this nation of ours to know that, to survive, we must be just; to be just, we must all be free; to be free, we must be true, and to be true, we must be square with our fellowmen—all men. Amen. JUST KEEP ON SMILING "I have a secret that I'll tell to you, You can use it when I get through; It's what we call an old-fashioned remedy, For all the ills of the great human family, To enjoy life I'll tell you what to do. Refrain. Refrain. Just keep on smiling, just keep on smiling; Bright days come bye and bye. When you are weary, and days seem dreary, Just keep on smiling till the clouds roll by. THE CITY OF DESTINY In Tacoma everybody is working, even including father. Politics is warming up a bit, but not enough to melt the silver. If you want to see your friend, take a trip to Tacoma and stroll up Broadway. None but the rich can eat in a Tacoma restaurant and even water is extra. The Ryan looks prosperous and from the amount of cash it takes in it must be. Will Rud looks natural behind the counter and they say he makes the money. "Forty 11 dozen" more colored men than are there could find work in Tacoma just now. The new barbershop looks fine and Dan will have to keep moving to lead the procession. "Yes, I am doing just as well now as when the colored soldiers were here, but I wish they were back." Harry Legg, the Seattle grocer, is in line to get a bunch of Tacoma trade, which is a true case of standing together. Bob Brown was worn out taking in the money and so ran over to Seattle for a couple of days to get away from the jam. Cayton's Weekly is on sale at 1324 Broadway. One dollar paid between April 1st and April 15th, gets it for the balance of the year. --- ```markdown ``` SMILE WITH US It is said that a certain well-known portrait painter has almost as great a reputation for joking as for taking excellent likenesses. One evening he was speaking of a beautiful young girl whose portrait he had just finished. "Her faetures are exquisitely molded, I have heard," said a lady who had seen neither the portrait nor its original. "Beautiful forehead and eyes," returned the artist, concisely, "handsome nose, fine chin, but mouth like an elephant's." "Mouth like an elephant's!" echoed the lady, in dismay. "What a terrible misfortune. Do you mean that it is so enormous or what?" "Only that it is filled with superb ivory," returned the artist, with his usual gravity. A certain mayor once rose to make a speech. And after talking for three-quarters of an hour began to wind up with the words: "And it is my greatest wish that the government shall all hang together." "Hear, hear!" cried a voice in the crowd. "I don't mean in the sense in which the idle scoffer in the crowd would have you to understand," went on the mayor with dignity, "but that they may hang together in concord and accord!" "I don't care what kind o'cord it is," came the voice again, "as long as it's a strong cord." And the mayor gave it up. A regiment of colonials was officered by a very small and unpopular second lieutenant. He had a violent temper and every man loved to rouse it. One day he was particularly peppery and, stepping up to a massive man, one of the finest fighters in the regiment, began to abuse him. The massive one listend with a tired smile on his face, which so infuriated the little officer that he grew almost incoherent. At last the big man thought it time to interfere. He turned to the man next him and said sweetly: "Say, Bill, go and fetch a stepladder. I believe he wants to box my ears." Two brothers were being entertained by a rich friend. As ill luck would have it, the talk drifted away from ordinary topics. "Do you like Omar Khayyam," thoughtlessly asked the host, trying to make conversation. The elder brother plunged heroically into the breach. "Pretty well," he said, "but I prefer Chianti." Nothing more was said on this subject until the brothers were on their way home. "Bill," said the younger brother, breaking a painful silence, "why don't you leave things that you don't understand to me? Omar Khayyam ain't a wine, you chump; it's a cheese." While Chopin probably did not time his "Minute Waltz" toexactly sixty seconds, some auditors insist that it lives up to its name. Mme. Theodora Surkow-Ryder on one of her tours played the "Minute Waltz" as an encore, first telling her audience what it was. Thereupon a huge man in a large riding suit took out an immense silver watch, held it open almost under her nose, and gravely proceeded to time her. The pianist's fingers flew along the keys, and her anxiety was rewarded when the man closed the watch with a loud snap, and said in a booming voice: "Gosh! She done it." A lady recently selecting a hat at a milliner's asked, cautiously: "Is there anything about these feathers that might bring me into trouble with the Bird Protection society?" "Oh, no, madam," said the milliner. "But did they not belong to some bird?" persisted the lady. "Well, madam," returned the milliner, pleasantly, "these feathers are the feathers of a howl; and the howl, you know, madam, sein' as 'ow fond he is of mice, is more of a cat than a bird." Two soldiers, an Irishman and an Englishman, having met in Flanders, began to talk ofthe hairbreadth escapes they had in battle. "Well, said the Englishman, "one day in the height of an engagement a shell took the hair off my head. Now, what do you think of that for a haircut?" "Sure," said Pat, "when I was in a battle a bullet from one of them Maxims whizzed by me and took off every hair off my face. What do you think of that for a close shave?" "I cannot sing, I really cannot," protested the famous Lord Norbury of "hanging" fame to a pretty and pressing hostess. "I have neither words nor voice." "You are too modest, chief justice," said Curran, who was standing by "for I know hundreds that have hung on your words and thousands that have been transported by your voice." An interested visitor, who was making her final call in a tenement district, on rising, said: "Well, my good woman, I must go now. Is there anything I can do for you?" "No, thank ye, mum," replied the submerged one. "Ye musn't mind it if I don't return the call, will ye? I haven't any time to go slummin' meself." "Listen to this, Maria," said Mr. Stubb, as he unfolded his scientific paper. "This article states that in some of the old Roman prisons that have been unearthed they found the petrified remains of the prisoners." "Gracious, John," exclaimed Mrs. Stubb with a smile, "those are what they call hardened criminals, I expect." Job work in the latest and newest styles turned out in this office. IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington, for King County.—In Probate. In the matter of the estate of Frank O'Neil, alias Mitro Bossaroba, Deceased.—No. 22884. Notice to Creditors. Notice is hereby given that the undersigned has been appointed and has qualified as administrator of the estate of Frank O'Neil, alias Mitro Bassaroba, Deceased; that all persons having claims against said deceased are hereby required to serve the same, duly vrified, on said administrator at the address below stated, and file the same with the Clerk of said Court, together with proof of such service within six months after the date of first publication of this notice, or the same will be barred. Date of first publication March 30, 1918. ANDREW R. BLACK, Administrator of said Estate. Address: 316 Pacific Block, Seattle, Wash. ANDREW R. BLACK, Attorney for Estate. 316 Pacific Block, Seattle, Wash. March 30—May 11, 1918. ALHAMBRA CASH GROCERY Fancy and Staple Groceries. Vegetables and Fruits in season. Bakery in connection. Free delivery. Tel. Main 2923. 1036-40 Jackson Street. TUTT'S BARBER SHOP "He wants to see you." High-class Tonsorial Work. 300 Main Street, Seattle. Latest race papers. All kinds of toilet supplies. CAYTON'S WEEKLY BEACON 513 Pacific Blk. 1910 --- IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington for King County. Saddie Nettleton, Plaintiff, vs. Eugene Nettleton, Defendant—No. ..... Summons by Publication. The State of Washington to the said Eugene Nettleton, Defendant: You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to-wit; within sixty days after the 30th day of March, 1918, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled court, and answer the complaint of the plaintiff, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for plaintiff at his office below stated; and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint, which has been filed with the clerk of said court. The object of the above entitled action is to obtain a decree of divorce from the defendant by the plaintiff on the ground of desertion. ANDREW R. BLACK. Attorney for Plaintiff. P. O. Address, 316 Pacific Block, Seattle, Wash. March 30—May 11, 1918. IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington for King County. Myrtle Carpenter, Plaintiff, vs. Paul Carpenter, Defendant—No. ... Summons by Publication. The State of Washington to the said Paul Carpenter, Defendant: You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons. to-wit: within sixty days after the 30th day of March, 1918, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled court, and answer the complaint of the plaintiff, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for plaintiff at this office below stated; and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint, which has been filed with the clerk of said court. The object of the above entitled action is to obtain a decree of divorce from the defendant by the plaintiff on the ground of desertion. ANDREW R. BLACK. Attorney for Plaintiff. P. O. Address, 316 Pacific Block, Seattle, Wash. March 30—May 11, 1918. IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington, in and for the County of King. In the Matter of the Dissolution of Toyo Shokai, a corporation.—No. 128072. Notice of Dissolution of Corporation. Notice is hereby given that Toyo Shokai, a Washington corporation, with headquarters at Seattle, has petitioned the King County Superior Court for authority to disincorporate and dissolve. Notice is hereby given that said application will be heard in Department No. 1, of the King County Superior Court on the 28th day of May, 1918. A. R. BLACK, 316 Pacific Block. March 30—May 25, 1918. IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington, for King County.—In Probate. In the Matter of the Estate of James Golden, Deceased.—No. 29903. Notice to Creditors. Notice is hereby given that the undersigned has been appointed and has qualified as Administratrix of the estate of James Golden, deceased. All persons having claims against the deceased are required to serve the same (supported by claimant's affidavit as required in Sec. 108, Probate Code) on the Administratrix or her attorney of record at the address below stated, and file the same with the clerk of the court, together with proof of such service, within six months after the date of the first publication of this notice, or same will be barred. ANDREW R. BLACK, Attorney for Estate. 316 Pacific Block, Seattle, Wash. Feb. 23: March 16, 1918. DR. J. A. GHENT, SPECIALIST In Surgery and Gynecology has removed his office from the Marion Bldg. to 221 and 222 Seaboard Bldg., formerly Northern Bank Bldg., corner Westlake and Pine. Tel. Main 1185. BURR WILLIAMS RUSSELL SMITH President Secretary DUMAS CLUB, INC. 209 Fifth Avenue South CAFE IN CONNECTION Phone Elliott 3763 SEATTLE WASHINGTON THE DOUGLAS CLUB Now Occupies spacious and elegantly furnished and equipped NEW QUARTERS And will be pleased to meet old and new friends 308 Washington St. Frank Smith, Prop. Main 4930 ---