Cayton's Weekly

Cayton's Weekly --- PRICE FIVE CENTS CAYTON'S WEEKLY Published every Saturday at Seattle, Washington, U. S. A. In the interest of equal rights and equal justice to all men and for "all men up." A publication of general information, but in the main voicing the sentiments of the Colored Citizens. Subscription $2 per year in advance. Special rates made to clubs and societies. HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON..Editor and Publisher Entred as second class matter, August 18, 1916, at the post office at Seattle, Wash., under the Act of March 3rd, 1916. TELEPHONE: BEACON 1910 Office 303 22nd Ave. South. WILSON'S PEACE PACT Theoretically the League of Nation's may be the world's desideratum, but when advocated by a southern Democrat we view it with an eye of suspicion. President Wilson, the foremost advocate of this world's peace pact, is president of the United States because he received the vote of the Solid South and there is a solid south because the white citizens of that section have lynched multiplied thousands of black folks (men, women and children) and have kept all of those not lynched in a state of terror—guessing who would be the next to swing. It is not recorded that Huerta, the red handed president of the Mexican Republic, ever with his own hands or by direct presidential order killed any of his political opponents, but they were killed by some one, who was not punished for the wholesale slaughter of human beings, and Huerta so long as that state of affairs continued remained president of Mexico. So far as we know Woodrow Wilson is an angel without wings but he became president at the behest of the most barbarous bunch of red handed murderers known to modern civilization and since he has been president that murderous bunch has been the power behind the throne. In a rather milk and cider way President Wilson requested his chief supporters to desist from lynching, but no one ever believed it to be an earnest heartfelt request, and so it had no more effect than would a request to the March winds that they howl no more. If president of the United States and that too in times of war it was within his power to order the arrest and execution of persons guilty of lynching a human being, but no, no, to have done that would have meant his loss of the support of the Solid South and his political prestige would have instantly vanished. With such a record behind him how can President Wilson become the principle peace promoter of the world. Charity, we are told, "begins at home," and the same should apply to peace. Free your own country, Mr. Wilson of its Ku-Klux Klan that murders men, women and children by day and by night before going to Europe to organize the world into everlasting peace. Under such circumstances its plain to be seen why the administration refused to issue pass ports to colored men and women, who would have gone to France and exposed the United States' proposed world's peace pact, while its citizens were at that moment burning colored men, women and children at the stake whose only crime was disputing a white man's word. EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS "Unless labor gets what it demands every shipyard in the United States will go idle," boastfully exclaimed a Seattle shipyard striker. How such a strike would benefit the laborer and injure the capitalist the loquacious spell binder failed to explain. The fact of the matter is such a strike would demoralize the industries of the country and the working people would be the serious sufferers. Viewing the situation through unbiased glasses some other way, other than strikes ,must be devised to adjust the differences between capital and labor. The strikers in Seattle have already lost five million dollars and many of them gone hungry and cold while the shipyard operators are quietly resting on their oars, saying to labor, "your move next." In the coming municipal election it's almost a Hobson choice proposition. If for some reason you did not desire to vote for the council ins and was religiously opposed to voting for labor candidates there would be left but two other candidates to vote for neither of whom can be considered in a favorable light. The three ins in our opinion should receive the vote of loyal, law abiding citizens and should receive overwhelming majorities. The three labor candidates were leading spirits in the late labor revolution in Seattle and to elect them to office would be placing the stamp of approval on that miniature revolution. "Mr. Howard" seems to be a favorite name for train robbers. Jesse James was the first train robber to adopt the cognomen. The latest to sail under the name was Arthur Howard, charged with having recently robbed a Great Northern train. According to the hired press agent of President Wilson the world is just dyeing for Wilson's soothing syrup, which, if shaken before taken, will make the lion and the lamb lie down together and the milenium will prevail among men. "Church drives" for "sheckels" are being planned by a majority of the religious denominations and if they succeed they will have money enough on hand to pave the streets of the New Jerusalem with dollar bills. A campaign for the annihilation of coffee, tea and tobacco is to be launched as soon as rum has been completely dethroned. If either of these luxuries are injurious "show me" and we are with you heart and soul. Instead of President Wilson "trying to speak your thoughts" at the peace conference he was trying to speak his thoughts and he is now trying to make you think they were not his, but yours. Perhaps Wilson's league of nations will prevail in Europe, but it will have some hard sledding in the United States, William Howard Taft to the contrary notwithstanding. Milk prices in Seattle are on the toboggan and we truly hope they will remain on it long enough for us to get all we can drink at one time once more before we die. An epidemic of youthful robbers hangs over Seattle like a nightmare, which may be the aftermath of the late deadly flue epidemic. VOL. III. NO. 39 If the league of nations is a success we suspect Highmogul Wilson will issue an order, no women suffragist adovates allowed. Civil war in Britain would be one and the same as Bolshevikism in high places. THE PASSING THRONG What some persons throw away as worthless others utilize and reap a rich reward from the same. In one of the office buildings of the city the janitor had a large quantity of waste boxes of an unusually large side, which he at first tried to sell for fifteen dollars, but failed, then he tried to give them away and found no takers for some time, but finally an "old fossil" came along and jumped at the offer of taking them away. He carefully knocked the box apart and loaded it on a truck for his home. It took three trips to clean up, which cost him ten "bucks." At his home he built partitions and rooms, the regular lumber for which would have cost about $100 and has enough left to build a couple of garages, which he expects to sell for at least $25. Moral: Do not throw anything away. If there is any disposition on the part of the white dentists of the city to snub colored patients, who seek their services then such patients can be just as independent as the dentists themselves by taking their aches and pains to colored dentists, who are anxious for their work. There are now two colored dentists with prospects of a third. While the white dentists are turning down colored trade the colored dentists are taking colored or white and they have almost as many whites as coloreds and as a result they are simply getting the money. And now comes A. D. Richardson with an up-to-date undertaking parlors and a well-arranged chapel in connection, in his hands. His caskets tastefully decorate the walls and his whole place impresses anyone entering therein that its a business instead of a bluff at business. Mr. Richardson, the head of the concern, claims to be the only colored man in the Northwest that is a licensed embalmer. With the business foundation he has already laid this undertaking, it would seem, will be a financial success if but half managed. He has assurances that he will get much of the Chinese and Japanese trade. When Rev. W. D. Carter rose to tell to the Equal Rights Club of Seattle his experience in trying to get to France to be present at the world's peace conference, those present sat in rapt attention as he told of the many efforts he and others put forth to get the much coveted pass ports. To fail in a worthy undertaking is very humiliating, and so the Rev. Carter put forth herculean efforts to succeed. The Club gave him a rising vote of thanks for his efforts. To the surprise of all he had some money left, which he turned over to the treasurer of the Club. After a number of months of constant employment in the Y. M. C. A. service and located at Camp eLwis Rev. E. A. Johnson has returned to Seattle and is casting about to permanently locate here. His critics to the contrary notwithstanding, he is a ripe scholar and if he should decide to go into --- Mh vasa hi et SE 8 Pe Se he TERT Eh ios a Pear ee Ce a ear Cann ences, Slee business it is the concensus of opinion that he would be a splendid success. Prior to going to Camp Lewis he pastored the Grace Presbyterian Church of this city. May perhaps such enterprising persons as Mr. and Mrs. G. B. Miller of this city will fail in their business undertakings, but we seriously doubt it. After purchasing a rather worse for wear looking building they began at once to re-model and re- pair the same and now they have a well arranged, seven apartment house building, each of which is occupied and the whole bringing a nice return on the money in- vested. Mrs. Miller runs a store and deli- catessen in connection and last, but by no wise least, Mr. Miller has opened up a hand laundry in the basement, which is do- ing well. Tf that is not catching them gv ing and coming then ‘‘tell me.’’ To get personal in publie gatherings be- cause some one differs from you shows a sad lacking of judgment as well as self control. You have your opinion, arise and express your opinion without casting re- flections on any one and then rest while the other fellow is expressing himself just as you did. If you have the better argu- ment those present will be quick to see the point and rally to your support provid- ing always you do not become abusive in your argument. One can resort to every parliamentary tactic conceivable and yet do so in such a gentlemanly way as to give no one offence. Under every condition always be a gentleman. “Printing all the news that’s fit to print’? shows great enterprise on the part of newspaper, but there come times when to print all the news hurts instead of helps the cause the paper is trying to further, as may be seen in ‘Seattle’s Leading Weakly’’ paper, when it published all the news about the Rey. W. D. Carter, chosen to go to France to appear before the peace confer- ence to present the cause of the oppressed Negro in the United States. The Rev. Car- ter found a copy of that ‘‘leading weakly”’ on file in the Seeretary of State’s office at Washington City and for once he was sorry it had printed all the news as its news figured largely in him not getting his pass ports. One good turn merits another and_fre- quently gets it, when the local branch of the Equal Rights League was trying to raise sufficient money to send a delegate to Wash- ington City to meet the national body, the Seattle Branch of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People was quick to see the point and quickly voted out of its treasure twenty-five dollars to help defray the expenses of that delegate. At the last meeting of the Equal Rights League it finding it had some surplus funds on hand voted to reimburse the Seattle Branch of the N. A. A. C. P. and handed it a check for its $25. Few brighter minds in Seattle have been born and died than was Gladys May Presto and her death seems a sad loss. From early childhood until early womanhood she gave convincing evidence that she possessed a superior mind and would one day make a mark for herself. She graduated from the grades with exceptional honor and the same was duplicated when she left the high school. The short time she attended the university ehe made a brilliant class record. Misa A man with no more sense than to keep $500 in cash, $200 worth of liberty bonds and $100 worth of jewelry in a one-room shack does not deserve to possess such valuables and while we regret to know that such valuables were destroyed as happened in Seattle not long since, but had some one gotten hold of the money it would have been put in circulation, though stolen. Such miserable old misers would get as much comfort out of a bag of rocks buried as a bag of money. When poor persons keep such large sums of money about their places of abode instead of putting it in the banks they are inviting disaster. Next Tuesday the annual, election of Se- attle will be held and you and each of you are expected to vote for the requisite num- ber of candidates seeking election. There are eight candidiates seeking the council- manic election, and as said in another col- umn hereof so far as you and I are con- cerned it’s a case of Hobson’s choice—vote for Thomson, Fitzgerald and Moore and prove your patriotism. Study well the pro- posed charter amendments, which you will find in the daily papers under legal notices. CAYTON’S WEEKLY (Office 303 22nd Ave. South) Regular, Reliable, Republican, Readable Wants 500 New Subscribers This is a Sample of what it sends out Every Week No Friends to Reward or Enemies to Punish A Publication of Ideas Rather Than Personalities Read for Yourself and Be Convinced Telephone Beacon 1910 Evidently some one has made a mistake or the printers got the copy mixed, but whichever it be the mixup has caused consid- erable commotion as may be seen from the following notice sent to Cayton’s Weekly for publication: “To the Publice— “‘The Tacoma Benevolent Orphanage has not authorized any one to give an enter- tainment or ball for its benefit or has it reaped any benefits from any that have been given. VIRGINIA L. SPENCER, Matron and President. GEO. MANEY, Manager. MRS. L. SMITH, Cor. See. According to an advertisement in the Searchlight, so says Mr. Maney, a number of persons advertised a ball, which was given last Saturday night, as a benefit for the above institution, the same being with- out the consent and approval of those con- nected with the institution and though ad- vertised to be given for the benefit of the home, yet not one cent has been tendered to any of its officers, which would not have been accepted if it had. This chil- dren’s home wants no balls given for its benefit and its directors will use the strong arm of the law if it is ever imposed upon in a like manner by any one else. It often happens among clubs and semi- business organizations that the secretary is the most important personage about the “ranch,’? but in. the Council of Patriotic Service of Seattle, No. 14, the president thereof is the only pebble on the beach. At the last meeting when a number of citi- zens offered the organization financial as- sistance for the entertainment of the re- turning soldiers, he declined the offer and informed those present that ‘‘I have $500,- 000 reserve to draw on for the boys’ enter- tainment,’’ which was news to the commit- tee of ways and means of the organization. The president had apointed three other com- mittees to complete the prearations for the etnertainment of the soldiers, but before they had time to make any report he startl- ed those present by announcing, ‘“‘If the boys come tomorrow I have made all neces- sary arrangements to give them the time of their lives and all I want you people to do is to be there and look wise—I am looking out for the boys.’’ The chairman of one of the committee thanked the president for su- perceding his committee and thought his committee had nothing further to do and the president agreed. After listening to the whole proceedings one could safely relate the transaction of the evening with—a joke. Stone staged a stag supper last Wednes- day evening and to add insult to injury he invitde a bunch of ‘‘stiffs’’ to sift the sands while he did the double shuffle. All the above was done to introduce E. F. Taylor, of Montreal, Canada, to an alleged lot of business men of Seattle; but in fact to men of Seattle who sneeze when he, Stone, takes snuff. On that occasion, however, he, Stone, laid off his cloak of authority and became host to a dozen old ‘‘hoses,’? who though badly wind broken, were still in the ring. Having had a fine run of catering work the three evenings previous the host was prepared to fill each one’s trough full and overflowing and each one of them ate and ate an dthen ate and ate and then ate and all because it had been a long, long time since they had eaten before, at least of things so palatable as what sat before them. No one has ever heard of a stone swelling with pride, but Stone swelled up almost beyond capacity when some related his great business success in Seattle, but looked a little sheepish after some one told a story at his expense. Briefly the story is as follows: Stone went to deliver an order of goods to a swell guy’s wife and assumed so much authority in handling the wares and viands that the lady became quite in- dignant and curtly informed ‘‘the darkey”’ I will report you to Mr. Stone when I come down to pay that bill, to which no reply was made, and ‘‘the darkey’’ worked on. The next day, true to promise, the lady was at the store and inquired for Mr. Stone and ‘‘the darkey man’’ apeared. The lady visibly blushed, but failed to make her report. Perhaps Stone blushed too, but if he did no one was able to see it. But serious, such get togethers are seeds for greater unity of action and others should fol- low in the wake of Samuel H. Stone and especially when there are strangers within our gates. Mr. Taylor, the guest of honor, is from Toronta, Canada, and is the father of Mrs. David T. Cardwell. To the Members of the Equal Rights League of Seattle and the Race in General Throughout the Northwest: This statement comes to you by way of informing you of the effort put forth by me to reach Paris, France, as your delegate to the Pan African Congress. I left Seattle on January 7 for New York City where the delegates were to meet and THE EMPORIUM Soft Drinks. A Choice Line of Cigars and Tobacco, Candy Meals from 6 a, m, to 2 p. m. Chillie Con Carnie C. GREER, Proprietor 24th and E. Madison East 207 --- sail for France on the 15th, however, on reaching Chicago it was learned that there were serious difficulties in our way of getting pass ports from the state department in Washington. Because of this unexepected condition, Lawyer Perry Howard of Jackson, Miss., and Attorney J. H. Josey, Madison, Wis., and myself headed direct from Chicago to the Nation's Capital, arriving there about 1 o'clock Sunday morning. On Monday morning the writer of this article was in conference with ex-Congressman W. E. Humphries and Senator Wesley L. Jones of Seattle only to find that the delegates were up against a disposition upon the part of the state department not to grant pass ports to any of the credited delegates. The contention of the delegates and their friends with the state department continued through 21 days which was long, tedious and expensive. Finally on the first day of February the department issued the following statement to all applicants for pass ports to the Pan African Congress. "Pass Ports Denied to Pan African Meeting" "Washington, Feb. 1. "Pass ports for Negroes desiring to attend Pan African Congress in Paris have been refused. The state department announced today that the French government did not consider the present a favorable time to hold such a conference." Notwithstanding the above statement by the state department a cablegram came from Paris on Friday, Jan. 31, 24 hours before the department gave out the statement, that the French government had approved the meeting of the Pan African Congress, and that the congress would convene in Paris on the 12, 13, 14 of February. At this time a meeting of the executive committee and other members of the National Equal Rights League was held in hte City of Washington to consider this complication of things and the contributory statements mentioned above and thereby arrive at some kind of conclusion as to what was best to be done in the matter. The result of this meeting was that some of us remained on the job believing that we were looking after the interest and welfare of 157,000,000 of our race, and that it was not the time to surrender without a tremendous effort. We found, during the next fifteen days, the state department very much determined not to reconsider its action as the following statement shows: "Pan African Meet Denied. France says conference will not be held—reports differ. Washington, Feb. 14. Officials here are puzzled by the news from Paris that plans are going forward there for a Pan African Conference to be held Feb. 19th. Acting Secretary Polk said today, 'The state department had been officially advised by the French government that no such conference would be held. It was announced recently that no pass ports would be issued for American delegates desiring to attend the meeting and Mr. Polk said there was no change in the government's attitude.'" It is strikingly strange that notwithstanding the above statement coming as it did from the state department on Feb. 15th, the same day the following was given to the world through the Associated Press: "Negroes ask protection. Pan African Congress will meet in Paris to seek safeguard. "Paris, Feb. 15. A Pan African Congress is to assemble in Paris on Feb. 19th for a three days' session, with the declared purpose of procuring the protection of the natives of Africa and the people of African descent in other countries. Fifty delegates will attend, representing the United States, the West Indies, South and Central America, Africa, Great Britain, Portugal, France, Liberia and Abyssinia, with Negro population aggregating 157,000,000." I leave you to draw your conclusion as to why these conflicting statements. At this stage of the contest I concluded that it was useless to fight longer, and that it was not expedient to attempt to defy the state department, therefore, after 43 days' effort gave up the fight and returned to Seattle. I wish through this means to thank our people of Seattle, the State of Washington and other parts of the Northwest for the confidence imposed in me and assure you that I did the best I could, sparing no pains, means, sacrifice, or effort to carry out your wishes in the case. I feel sure we missed a golden opportunity to better our condition. I have refunded all money above expenses to the Equal Rights League branch of Seattle. Very sincerely yours, W. D. CARTER. DANIEL IN THE LION'S DEN The True Story Old Daniel in the Lion's den Was hopeful though in misery; The beats were large and dreadful fierce, With teeth both great and scissory. And yet old Daniel did not cringe, Nor try to climb the rocky wall; He did not even back away, And neither did he kneel to pray— He did not stoop to them at all. "What did he do—" I hear you ask— "To cow those Lions was a task Of magnitude, you must confess, And fraught with pain and much distress." Of course 'twill be strange news to you To learn the trick Old Dan put through. In Daniel's day all Lions knew A heapsight more than now they do! They understood the Jewish tongue, And learned to jabber when quite young; So Daniel lined those Lions up From the oldest one to the youngest pup, And then he talked, did your Uncle Dan'el, In a way to prove his tongue was flannel, In a voice both calm and steady He talked the doctrines of Mrs. Eddy. He said—— "Yuh jest imagine yuh want ter eat! They sure hain't no sech thing ez meat! Its Leo error hez got yuh cinched Like mortal delusion hez got me pinched; Yuh think I'm me, which ain't the fact; I'm only somethin' yuh think yuh see! You're only Lions because you act An' seem what Lions ought ter be. Thuh sun what shines don't shine at all; When springtime comes you think it's Fall. "Yuh try tuh lash yer tails an' roar— They don't no noises from yuh pour! Thuh bugs an' flies what seems tuh bite Yer mangy hides an' make yuh squeal Hain't never done that thing, all right, An' yuh have only seemed tuh feel. When yuh have roamed thuh Desert wast Yuh thought yerselves quite wild an' free— 'Twas only just a hollow dream, Like thinkin' you are here with me. I hain't here an' you ain't there, An' all things round are really square; Thuh rocks yuh think so mighty hard Ain't there a tall ner never wuz! An' skeeters never come around Although yuh think yuh've heered um buz!" So Daniel talked thuh whole night long, Although he wasn't over strong; The sun arose at early dawn But Daniel didn't even yawn. He stood, asleep, though quite erect, A thing I'm sure you'd not expect, But ere he paused, some out of breath, He'd talked those Lions all to death! BERTUCCIO DANTINO. W.S.S. WAR SAVINGS STAMPS. ISSUED BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT DR. C. J. ALLEN, Dentist. Examination free, 211 Globe Bldg., 1st and Madison. Office hours 9 to 12 a. m., 1 to 6 p. m., Sundays by appointment. Residence 1830 24th Avenue. East 6419. DR. F. B. COOPER, Dentist, 362-3 Empire Bldg, 2nd and Madison. Special appointments for evenings and Sundays. Office hours 8:30 to 12 and 2 to 6. Main 6093. Residence, East 5056. CAYTON'S WEEKLY wants two columns of classified adds made up after this style and fashion. Rates very reasonable. Beacon 1910. STONE THE CATERER will serve your parties and banquets cheaper than you can do it yourself. Stone's ice cream leads. East 275. STOLEN FROM THIEVES Bill Haywood, lately established as a guest in the Cook county jail following his acceptance as a member of the National In-Bad club, knows a good deal about jails. The bonding companies asked an excessive rate to get Bill freed, so he decided to stay inside. "I'm used to this stuff," he told an interviewer. Then he related an experience he had a few years ago in New York. He had just been acquitted of complicity in the killing of Gov. Steunenburg of Idaho, and had been released after months in prison. Arriving in New York, he dropped in to see an old friend, managing editor of a big daily newspaper. "I'm pretty busy now, Bill," said the editor. "But I'll have one of the boys take you around and show you the town, and later I'll take you out to dinner." Calling in a reporter, he introduced him to Haywood, and the pair started on a tour of the metropolis. Either the reporter was very young, or he didn't understand just who Haywood was and where Bill had lately spent his time. For the first object of interest he took Bill to see was the Tombs! John was spending a bad morning trying to explain to his good wife that he would never again touch a drop of strong drink. She insisted upon his telling her all about his experience of the day before, and he was trying to rack his aching brain for the veriest detail in order that he would have the whole thing off his mind for good. "Don't you remember anything else?" his wife asked. "Yes," John replied wearily; "I do remember that as I lay there in the gutter alongside a pig the parson came along." "And what did he say?" asked the wife. "He said," replied John, "that we are known by the company we keep." "And I hope you got up and walked off," said the good wife. "No," answered John; "but the pig did." One day when President Wilson and party were in Baltimore every precaution was taken to secure comfort and safety, and extra secret service men were employed to look after the presidential party. A large crowd filled the dining room at one hotel and the waiters had their hands full in filling orders. At one table three impatient New Yorkers could not get service, and when one of them saw a tray of viands passed through a window at his back he appropriated it, distributed the food at his own table and returned the empty tray. When he called for his check no waiter could be found who was responsible. "But somebody served those men," said the head waiter impatiently. To Spend Your Leisure Moments at the GREAT NORTHERN POOL AND BILLIARD HALL BOYD & WILLIAMS, Props. 1032 Jackson St. --- Then one of the waiters slipped up to his chief and whispered, "Dese ere gem'men must be dem secret service people we hearn so much erbout today." Dr. Henry Moskowitz, commissioner of public markets, said in an address in New York: "A cynical and self-seeking spirit prevailed in buying and selling when the war began, but this spirit is being fast supplanted by a generous spirit of co-operation and fraternity. "The cynical spirit, now happily on the wane, was like that of the aged banker, who said to a friend: “‘Yes, I expect to marry one of the proudest and most beautiful girls in New York. You see, a young suitor sings to his sweetheart, “Love me—and the world is mine.’ But I've got a better method, by jingo. I sing, “Love me—and the world is thine.’ I'm bound to win out, don't you think so, George?’” A useful sort of cook was Mary Jane. But on one occasion she introduced a rather doubtful egg into a pudding with somewhat painful results. "Really, Mary," said her mistress, "you must exercise more caution in future. A good way to test an egg is to swing it around a few times and place it to your ear. If you hear a pleasant murmering sound it is fresh and good." "That's just what I did with one before," answered the cook. "Well, and what happened?" "As I was swinging it round it flew out of my hand and hit my policeman in the eye. It was him that did the murmering, not the egg, mum." A Canadian speaker in the interest of a liberty loan drive, after describing the expectations of the French people that America would some time come to their assistance, told the following story: A few months ago Gen. Pershing one day wanted a taxi for a quick drive to some point. The taxi was a little tardy in reporting and when it was driven up by a woman chauffeur the general looked at his watch and said: "Madam, I've been waiting for you three minutes." "General," said the little Frenchwoman with a respectful military salute, "we've been waiting for you three years." Eveyrbody knew that he had money, but nobody ever saw it, and the lads of the village dubbed him "Skinflint." To all requests for help he would return the same answer: "No; I respond only to the appeals of the deserving poor." One day, however, a collector inquired of him: "Well, sir, and who are the deserving poor?" Skinflint gave a crusty sigh as he wheezed: "Those who never ask for assistance." "There, now," said the newspaper man's wife, "this room is to be your den, to do as you please with it. I shall not clean it up any time. You may throw your papers around on the floor until you are sick of the looks of it. Then you may clean it up yourself, if it ever becomes so bad it offends your sense of decency." The plan was a great success. No room in the house is nearer immaculateness than the den. It is kept so by the newspaper man himself, who does his reading and writing and paper throwing exclusively in the dining room. "Well," said the square jawed old gentleman who was the payer of an income tax Phone 2647 1034 Jackson GOLDEN WEST Tailors and Cleaners. Clothes called for and delivered. Hats retrimmed and blocked. H. S. Frazier C. W. Curtest that gave him the chills every time he thought of it, "go on. I'm anxious to hear why you think you are good enough for my daughter." "I graduated at the head of my class in college." "You'll have to give me a better reason than that." "I began working for £2 a week and am now making a thousand a year." "Pretty fair. Let's hear some more." "As you doubtless know, I'm a lawyer. A few days ago a lady who possessed a bundle of letters which you had written to her called on me. In most of them you addressed her as 'Dear Baby.' I offered her £2,000 for them. I have until tomrorow to produce the money." "You say you graduated at the head of your class?" "Yes." "Well, sir, I've never told anybody about it before, but I always have hoped Bessie would marry a scholar." A very nervous looking woman, accompanied by a rather robust farmer, came on the platform of the wayside railway station. For a short while she seemed to direct her attention to the timetable, but not finding there the satisfaction she sought she approached the station master. "Will you kindly tell me if the 3:15 has gone yet?" she asked, in apparent concern. "Oh, yes, about twenty minutes ago," he replied. "And when will the 4:30 be along, do you think?" she continued. "Why, not for some time yet, of course," was the response. "Are there any expresses before then?" "Not one." "Any goods trains?" "No." "Then," said the questioning dame, turning to her husband, "I think we will cross the line, William." Capt. Joseph C. Cowell of the Brandywine, who has been submarined three times, said at a dinner in Salem: "I used to love the sea, but the squareheads with their filthy submarines have made me hate it. When this war is over and the squareheads are beaten, do you know what I am going to do? Well, gentlemen, I am going to buy an anchor, sling it on my shoulder, and start walking straight inland. "I'll walk and walk, and finally, when I come to a place where the natives hold me up and say, 'What on earth is that you are carrying?' I'm going to buy a farm there in that place and settle down for life." Mike and Pat had been victims of a powder magazine explosion. Pat, who was in the hospital and hardly recognizable for the bandage on his head, was being interviewed by his superior officer. Said he to Pat: "I hear you and Mike were calm and collected when the explosion occurred." In reply Pat slowly moved his head and said: "Well, sir, I was calm enough, goodness knows, but poor Mike was not collected till afterward." The weary and pallid little man entered the chemist's shop. "Do you keep 'Rixie's Reviver'?" he asked. "Yes," said the chemist. "Gimme six bottles for my wife!" "Tried all other remedies without success—eh?" said the chemist, conversationally. "No;" she ain't ill at all. But I saw in the advertisement where a woman wrote, after taking six bottles, 'I am a different woman'!" The landlady was very anxious that her new boarder should be pleased with his meals and have enough of everything. Placing a plate before him containing a portion of liver, she said, with a charming smile: "The liver is not rationed, Mr. Cheapley Do not be afraid of it!" "Near fear," replied the boarder, "I wouldn't be afraid of a piece ten times that big!" Sympathetic Old Lady (to convict)—"Ah my unfortunate friend, your face is indeed a hard one; and, as she thinks of you here in this dreadful place, how your wife must suffer." Convict (very much affected)—"Yes'm, and there are two of 'em, mum. I'm here for bigamy." For once Judge Richardson was shocked out of his dignity. The case had to do with a young man whose sanity was questioned. "You should have an alienest examine this boy," remarked his honor. "Nothing doing," shouted the father, to the astonishment of the court. Then he added, "An American doctor's good enough for me!" Having passed the doctor, Patrick McGuire was taking a look round the camp which was to be his home for some months. He wanted to enter one of the tents and "pal up" with some one. He moved toward one of them and was about to enter, when: "Halt!" cried a sergeant. "You can't go in there." "And why not?" asked Pat. "It's the colonel's tent." "Then what's it marked 'Private' for?" "Hello, Millett!" called out a neighbor one morning. "I saw you starting away yesterday morning very early on your fishing trip. Did you have any luck?" "Great!" was the reply. "While I was away three tax collectors called." Cheasty's Good Clothes for Men and Women. You can't beat it. CHEASTY'S Second and Spring RICHARDSON'S UNDERTAKING PARLORS Embalmer and Funeral Director 1216-18 Jackson Street Office, Beacon 103; Res., Main 5610 IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF Washington for the County of King.-No.133363. Summons by Publication. J. Abe Fisher, Plaintiff, vs. Fred Therriault, and William Fisher and Eve S. Fisher, his wife, Defendants. The State of Washington, to the said Fred Therriault. Defendant You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to-wit, within sixty days after the 1st day of February, A. D. 1919, and defend the above entitled action in the above entitled court, and answer the complaint of the plaintiff, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for plaintiff at his office below stated; and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the complaint, which has been filed with the Clerk of said court. The object of the said action and the relief sought to be obtained therein is fully set forth in said complaint, and is briefly stated as follows: To partition the following described real property: The East Forty-five (E. 45) feet of Lots Eighteen (18), Nineteen (19) and Twenty (20) in Block Thirteen (13) of Front Street Cable Addition to the City of Seattle, King County, Washington. ANDREW J. BALLIET, Attorney for Plaintiff. P. O. Address: 320 Railway Exchange Bldg., Seattle, County of King, Washington. First publication Feb. 1, 1919. IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF KING COUNTY, State of Washington.— In the Matter of the Estate of Erick J. Edlund, Deceased.—No. 24729. Notice to Creditors. Notice is hereby given that the undersigned has been appointed Executrix of the Estate of Erick J. Edlund, deceased, that all persons naving claims against said deceased are hereby required to serve the same, duly verified, on said Mary M. Edlund, or on Andrew J. Balliet, her attorney of record at the address below stated, and file the same with the Clerk of said court, together with proof of such service within six months after the date of the first publication of this notice, or the same will be barred. Address: 320 Railway Exchange Bldg., Seattle, Wn. ANDREW J. BALLIET, Attorney for Estate. 320 Railway Exchange Bldg., Seattle, Wash. First publication Feb. 8, 1919.