Cayton's Weekly

Cayton's Weekly SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, SATURDAY, MARCH 15, 1919 --- PRICE FIVE CENTS CAYTON'S WEEKLY Published every Saturday at Seattle, Washington, U. S. A. In the interest of equal rights and equal justice to all men and for "all men up." A publication of general information, but in the main voicing the sentiments of the Colored Citizens. Subscription $2 per year in advance. Special rates made to clubs and societies. HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON..Editor and Publisher Entred as second class matter, August 18, 1916, at the post office at Seattle, Wash., under the Act of March 3rd, 1916. TELEPHONE: BEACON 1910 Office 303 22nd Ave. South EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS Cayton's Weekly to the contrary notwithstanding, I, Horace Roscoe Cayton, am exceedingly glad that the shipyard strike has been declared off and the men again at work. The past attitude of the editor hereof toward striking unions may not harmonize with his attitude at this time, and so widely different are the two that an explanation is almost necessary. When the shipyard strike was pulled off my chief business was operating an apartment house filled to standing room only with shipyard workers. The men believing they were up against a long siege began to scatter and almost half of my tenants left the city and half of the other half were not able to pay their rent, and I had too much love for my fellowman to turn them out because they were financially unfortunate and so since January 21st my rents have been for the most part "I owe you," all of which will vanish now that the men are at work again. It has been more than two weeks since S. H. Stone played dinner host for a number of leading spirits in the business world of Seattle, but me next has not been heard as coming from any of those present, which is unfortunate. Mr. Stone broke the ice for a series of get-together dinner parties that might result in a better understanding among those assembled and might eventually lead to a general rallying round a nucleous. Cartooning the colored folks for the entertainment of the white folks may be an innocent amusement for the white folks, but it's most damnably annoying to the colored folks and for the majority to take fiendish delight in humiliating the minority because they are the minority does not show any great amount of superiority on the part of the majority. Cheaper Food Is Due is a Star head line, which may or may not be true, but there is no doubt but that there is a great dela due on the cheap food which the public has already consumed, and much work will have to be done before the due will have been evaporated. Politicians work in mysterious ways their wonders to perform as may be seen in one politician, who promised the colored voters nothing, but immediately gives one of them a lucrative position, while the politician that promised them the world with a fence around it has given them nothing. The creaking cordage, the huming hammers, the whirling wheels and the willing workers are all music to the ear of the business men of the Pacific Northwest. Five million dollars thrown into circulation each week makes that kind of music that soothes the savage ears. Jack Johnson is in Mexico calling for a return bout with Jess Willard. Perish the thought, "me bouy," unless you can call as loud as the angel Gabriel, when he sounds his trumpet to raise the dead, for Jess is as deaf to your calls as an Indian statue. If it should so happen that the colored soldiers from Washington would be demobilized in the East and W. E. Mitchell not given an opportunity "to put them back into life" then we fear he would go to the damnation bow wows from sheer grief. The politicians of the legislature, which played the game bang up during the entire session made a Savage attack on popular government in the closing hours of the assembly. Gentlemen, you permitted your enthusiasm to overshadow your judgments. Tom Bolton just simply will not again accept the presidency of the city council, which is the same as admitting, that he presided over an unruly bunch of political bucaneers the past year. Tom knows when he has enough of a good thing. Once upon a time Tacoma had a Forum that surely was a forum and the Ryans made its influence felt far and near. Its influence may still be felt near, but not far, at least so far as we know. What's happened to you, "ol' hoss?" Perhaps the Seattle automobile show was not a fake, but we have our suspicions that a whole lot of folk who attended it and made purchases got badly faked. Barnum, however, said "the American people love to be humbugged." Though elected for the sole purpose of passing the Lake Washington park bill Senator Lamping seems to have forgotten his child and adopted another. Was the senator cutting gubernatorial timber while in Olympia? From a California Associated Press dispatch it is learned that the citizens of Washington tried to force Ed Chilberg to run for United States senator, but he refused to let it touch him. Oh, perish the thought. If the United States will have to police Europe in order to keep peace between the jarring nations over there then Wilson's league of nations will be a detriment to the United States and of little or no benefit to Europe. Seattle's police force has adopted a baby, which was born in the patrol wagon and are making preparations to provide for it, and yet it is argued that there is no such thing as "police protection" in the Queen City. The Irish question has no more business in the peace congress than the Negro question. Both are local conditions and should be settled by the respective countries in which they have emanated. Gen. High Cost Living may have been dealt a body blow below the belt when the war closed, but it still takes all one man VOL. III. NO. 41 can earn, work as hard as he will or may, to purchase sufficient food for himself and family to live on. After having wilfully thrown away thirty-five million dollars the shipyard workers of Seattle are again on their jobs, and at the same old price, and thus do fools and their money soon part. From the amount of editorial shifting the editor of the Union Record has been doing before, during and since the strike he must be a March Colt and shifts with the wind. On his way across the pond President Wilson laughed at himself in a movie, and in that he did what everybody else is doing. In fact he is becoming quite a laughing stock. Comes the report that "Dollar" Schwab informs the Wall Street holdups that it will be some considerable time before they can begin to filch European nations. What a shame! Like the Irishman's horse the average editor is poor, but proud. They are not always as proud as they should be, but they are almost always as poor as they can be. "Spring is coming" chimes the young warbler, and it may be, but there are little or no signs of it as yet, but when it does come we will give it a warm welcome. Organized labor has lost another titanic struggle and it will ever be thus with it if it continues to organize "white men only" as it has done since it was first organized. To the joy and delight of the I. W. W.s of the Northwest Mayor Ole Hanson is rapidly regaining his health and will soon be on the job again. God is gracious to us. There are two doctors in Seattle whose names end with "well"—Cardwell and Maxwell—and yet their patients want to get "well," but do not always do it. Think about it a man who went to Olympia to work in the legislature has decided to take up his spermanent abode in the Capitol City. Funny, isnt it? If old sol was not quite so bashful these days and would raise his veil for a few days one would feel more like living, but there seems to be nothing doing. Former President Taft seems to be wandering after strange gods. Like the calf that chased the bull, he will know the difference when he goes to suck. Our own and only Boby Grass has run up against mob rule by the majority members of the house of representatives in the late Washington legislature. We would not exactly pronounce the white man of the South either a barbarian or a heathen, but he is making rapid strides in that direction. ```markdown ``` If Dr. Brier used violence in ejecting Mrs. Barrow out of his office, suffering as she and others claim she was, then his conduct was unprofessional. Let's make it so all fired interesting for the telephone company that it, like the Seattle street car company, will fall all over itself to sell to the city. Every striker who reported, got his old job back, so it is reported, and we bet he was hungry enough to want it back, and want it damn bad. Back yard farming is again in order and you and each of you should get ready to do your duty, your whole duty and nothing but your duty. King Coal continues to exact from the Seattle householder every drop of red blood in his or her veins. For the love of Mike, back up. And again the Great Northern dock is an open shop and as a result hundreds of colored men are constantly employed at excellent wages. If any member of the late legislature of Washington imagines he got anywhere with his gubernational boomlet he "has a guess coming." Jones, Brown and the whole Damn family have lent their smiles and it will be at least thirty days more before they will be relent. There is one thing certain the strikers did not return to work with as full stomachs as they had when they quit work. We might have reported a larger income tax had we not patronized a barber shop twice a week during the past year. When Mr. Groundhog went back into his hole in February he knew his biz and the most of us now realize that he did. No, dear reader, Mr. Stone is not a stonemaker, but a cake maker, though you would not always suspect it. For small favors let us be thankful—the Washington legislature has adjourned sine "deo." If Hoover quits July 1st then Uncle Sam's hooverizing days will be all over. March came in like a mad lion and she does not seem inclined to cool off. OBITUARY There'll be much less of weeping when Barleycorn is sleeping out in the place of bones; there'll be much less of sighing, of sobbing and of crying, of hopeless tears and moans. There'll be much less o f trouble when man shall blow no bubble from off a stein of beer; the world will be much sweeter when we have seen John teeter out to the boneyard drear. Trere'll be few gents in prison when Barleycorn's got his'n, and locks the Rum Hole door; there'll be less pine and trimming when booze has ceased its brimming in coffin varnish store. There'll be less work for coppers, there'll be less planting paupers in cheap and unmarked graves; there'll be less stipened blowing where booze has ceased its flowing in rippling rotgut waves. There'll be more pep and ardor to fill the bin and larder, and buy the children duds, when father can't go snooping where boozy boys are whooping, and blow his wage for suds. Old Barleycorn is smitten, his doom is sealed and written, he weeps and disappears; the biggest thing recorded since Adam was awarded a span of brindled steers. WALT MASON. THE PASSING THRONG "Jesus Among the Laborers" will be the subject from which the Rev. D. A. Graham will preach next Sunday evening at the A. M. E. Church. His application will be modernized and reduced to practicability, will men Jesus Among the Strikers and the strike breakers. The editor of Cayton's is rather curious to hear what would happen to even Jesus Christ among the Bolshevists and I. W. W.s of the present labor world. It is surely a problem for solution and if the Rev. Graham can do so to the satisfaction of those who will listen to him then he will certainly go some. The subject is more or less suggestive of much thought and research and it will be interesting even if you do not agree with the ideas advanced. He extends a cordial welcome to the public to be present. "Judge Alfred Battle was born in the South 'befo' the war, sah." And on the same day, on the Battle plantation, a little, squirming black baby gave its first kick. CAYTON'S WEEKLY (Office 303 22nd Ave. South) Regular, Reliable, Republican, Readable Wants 500 New Subscribers This is a Sample of what it sends out Every Week No Friends to Reward or Enemies to Punish A Publication of Ideas Rather Than Personalities Read for Yourself and Be Convinced Telephone Beacon 1910 The black boy was destined to become the bodyguard of the future judge, but neither of them knew it. After the war the colored people continued to live on the Battle plantation, and things were pretty much as they were before for a number of years. When young Alferd left home to go to college the Negro started out to hunt for work, and occasionally, since that time, he has been successful in his lifelong quest. More often, however, he has been up against it. And then an S. O. S. is sent out to his former master, always with the certainty that succor will be forthcoming. A short time ago in answer to an importunate letter the judge sent the colored man twenty-five dollars, and a few days ago he received a letter of thanks. "I bought the best suit of clothes I could find," said the recipient of the twenty-five, "a nice pair of shoes, a hat, and a beauty of a necktie. And, oh, judge, you just ought to see me now. But then you know us Battles always was proud!"—The (Seattle) Argus. Here is another lot of rot written and published for the express purpose of humiliating the colored man of this country, every word of which is an unqualified damn lie. We suspect that if there is such a colored man he can buy and sell Judge Battle, but passing over that point, if the man was born the same day as was Judge Battle he would be way past sixty years of age and at that age what on earth would he and so on. want with such finery. Of course the story is editorially colored because such yarns please a lot of white folks, who accept any jack-in-the-box-story related about the Negro if the same humiliates him, with fiendish delight. "What fools we mortals be." "You can't keep a good man down" runs an old addage and the correctness of the axim is seen in the Rev. Eugene A. Johnson being appointed to a position in the office of the assessor of King county. Mr. Johnson was for a number of years pastor of the Grace Presbyterian Church of this city and he resigned it to accept a war position with the field service of the Y. M. C. A. and during the war was stationed at Camp Lewis. When his services were no longer needed he returned to Seattle and for the moment was at a loss for something to do. At this point John F. Gragwell, who has often helped deserving ones of his fellow men, came to hi sassistance and made a fight single handed and alone to have him placed in the assessor's office and was eminently successful. Mr. Johnson is a ripe scholar and if it's efficiency, without regard to race, color or creed that Assessor Hull wants in the make up of his official family, he will get it in the fullest sense of the word in Rev. Eugene A. Johnson. Furnished rooms with housekeeping privileges. Front room $4 per week; single room $3. Mrs. M. E. Bolden, 1924 E. Fir. Take Yesler car. HOUSE CLEANING House cleaning! Spring house cleaning! You'll soon be here again! O, words off frightful meaning to weary married men! For spring we keep imploring when winter's blasts are roaring, forgetful of the choring that is in order then. We think of sunshine glowing, through waving branches screened, on babbling brooklets flowing to oceans submarined; alas, we are forgetting the soapsuds and the wetting, the toiling and the sweating, in shacks that must be cleaned. We think of tuneful zephyr from some bright summer sea, of sportive lambs and heifers that gambol on the lea; and we forget the mopping, the sloshing and the slopping, the cussing and the yawping of husbands tired, oh chee! The springtime is approaching, already she has smiled; the green grass is encroaching where late the snow was piled; but naught my gloom can sweeten; the rugs that must be beaten—the prospect makes we wild! Fair Spring will soon be strewing her flowers along the wild, her gems for mortals' viewing, the crimson and the gold; but I'll be packing pillows and beating rugs with willows, 'mid suds in seething billows, while women stand and scold. WALT MASON I'm glad when washday's gone and ended, for then the rules are all suspended, the house is upside down; I breathe a lot of hectic curses, as I sit round composing verses, in my pink dressing gown. I see the women folk, embattled, all tired, distraught and badly rattled; my aunt comes pawing round; "What luck! What luck! We're out of bluing! Go, hump yourself, be up and doing, and bring us half a pound!" I hear the loud domestic shrieking, "Oh, Caesar's ghost! The boiler's leaking, the water's all run out!" And I must do some punk repairing, and while I do it I am swearing, for I'm bunged up with gout. At noon I have to eat cold pottage, for no one round the steaming cottage has time to cook a weal; there's no hot coffee in the shanty—and it would take the pen of Dante to t ell ho wtough I feel. All day I see the women sloshing around the soily weekly washing, up to their ears in suds; all day they toil around like dingers, and feed into the jaws of wringers the aromatic duds. And then at night they're all so weary. I look in vain for glances cheery, I see no cheerful grin; they're taking headache pills and potions, and I remark, with wild emotions, "Oh, washday is a sin!" WALT MASON. WISE AND OTHERWISE (By R. W. Thompson) All the brave men of the Negro race do not live north of the Mason and Dixon line nor all of the trimmers and cowards below it. Chronic idleness is worse than a misdemeanor—as it is sought to be characterized by some communities. Idleness is a crime. We of the Negro race have bigger propositions on hand than the matter of "getting even" with some individual for a personal grievance. We told you that we would be in the war to the finish. A Negro regiment was nearest to the German line when the armistice was signed. Why not a five-year government control of the railway systems, to try out the whole problem of what is best for both the people and the railroads? The subject should cease to be an academic question. “What People Will Say” is a bugbear that has frightened out of action more good impulses than any other drawback that modern life can place its finger on. Do the right thing—and let the people talk. Roscoe Conkling Simmons has added to his extensive repertoire of patriotic labors. He owns a nice farm in Michigan and it is producing goodly quantities of the food that wins wars. Bully for Farmer Simmons! The spirit of Booker T. Washington continues to abide with us and stands as a constant spur to the upward march of the race toward efficient industry and constructive citizenship. Former opponents have become enthusiastic champions of his far-reaching philosophy of racial preparedness through training for the work the world wants done. Does the fact that a colored man has won the confidence and support of the strongest white men of the nation unfit him for a place at the council table when the welfare of his own people are up for adjustment? Is not the friendship of the leading white business, political, educational and philanthropic white Americans an asset, rather than a liability? Jack Johnson may be making his pocketful of money over in Spain, but everybody knows he wants to come home. Is there no way to draw up a satisfactory "armistice" between him and the Chicago authorities? Ralph W. Tyler, the war correspondent, has a wounded hand, as a result of his dash into the "deadly breach." He will a tale unfold touching his harrowing experiences when he comes marching home, which he expects to be in the near future. My Tyler says he wouldn't take a million dollars for the thrills he has enjoyed—but the old U. S. A. will be good enough for him to stay in for the remainder of his natural life. The logical colored American to sit at the Peace Table as the specific representative of the darker races of the world is Emmett J. Scott, special assistant to the American Secretary of War, and the man who is closest to and most conversant with the big problems of governments that are to be met and adjusted at Versailles within the next few weeks. This one of the stubborn facts of the times that cannot be successfully disputed. Let the women have the suffrage. They will handle it as wisely in the aggregate, as any given number of the masculine persuasion. The women of the nation are the homemakers, the mothers, the teachers, the social arbiters—indeed the "guide, counsellor and friend". of mankind, in this and all other generations. Why should they not have a hand in the determination of their destiny and in the making of the conditions under which we must all live? The colored citizens of Baltimore have taken time by the forelock and named a committee to arrange for a monster reception to the Maryland colored soldier boys, who, they figure, are due for an early return from overseas and from the camps on this side of the water. The committee includes many men and women of prominence in every walk of life. Baltimore is setting a noble example in this particular. Every town in the land commence now to have the "home fires burning" when their battlers return to their loved ones. The fact must not be overlooked that the problems of reconstruction are calling for as high a degree of constructive statesmanship as those of the combat period, as far as the Negro race is concerned. There are still military questions at issue, and these will be supplemented by educational, industrial, commercial, political and social issues. A day of readjustment is at hand, and cool heads, broad vision and generous judgment must be exercised by all who essay to have a hand in the work of reconstruction that must now be undertaken. The service list of Tuskegee Institute, published several months ago, showed that 223 of its students or alumni were in the United States Army, and that 37 of them were officers, with five having attained the rank of captain. Howard University at the same time had 229 men in the army, with 62 officers, the highest of whom were first lieutenants. The various schools will help our historians very materially by preparing lists, indicating the participation of their students and alumni in the war, and keeping these important records up to date. To clear up any doubts about the matter, it is well to state that any reputable newspaper has a right to send an accredited representative to Paris or Versailles or anywhere overseas to gather news and have same transmitted through the cable service —provided the newspaper in question has the price to pay for all this. Every newspaper is exactly on the same footing. Hence, jealousies, apersions and misinterpretation of motive, with regard to the men who have gone over, are entirely out of order. Let every prosperous race journal send over a live man, and the truth is sure to be told in its entirety. Dr. James E. Shepard, the live president of the National Training School at Durham, N. C., strikes a keynote when he urges that the fine officer material the nation will have on its hands in the disbandment of the colored military units be utilized to command with colored men, from top to bottom, the four colored regiments of the United States Army—the 9th and 10th Cavalry and the 24th and 25th Infantry. This is a grand opportunity to let the faithful colored Americans feel that they are to get a square deal out of this war. Why not a full equipment of colored officers from Colonel to corporal for the four crack colored regiments of the regular army? Hasn't Dr. Shepard said something? The statement is made, apparently upon good authority, that Dr. William H. Goler, the veteran educator, who has spent the best years of his life toward building up Livingstone College, is now rounding out a long career of usefulness as financial secretary of the A. M. E. Zion connection, is not to be a candidate for re-election and will retire from that office at the end of his term in 1920. The country, in and out of Zion, will say in unison, "Well done," thou good and faithful servant," and cast the fiscal burdens upon some progressive young man, who has yet to win his spurs as a general officer of this great denomination. D.r Goler may devote himself to writ- DR. C. J. ALLEN, Dentist. Examination free. 211 Globe Bldg., 1st and Madison. Office hours 9 to 12 a. m., 1 to 6 p. m., Sundays by appointment. Residence 1830 24th Avenue. East 6419. DR. F. B. COOPER, Dentist, 362-3 Empire Bldg, 2nd and Madison. Special appointments for evenings and Sundays. Office hours 8:30 to 12 and 2 to 6. Main 6093. Residence, East 5056. CAYTON'S WEEKLY wants two columns of classified adds made up after this style and fashion. Rates very reasonable. Beacon 1910. STONE THE CATERER will serve your parties and banquets cheaper than you can do it yourself. Stone's ice cream leads. East 275. ing a history of the educational struggles of the Zion church, and would be just the man to undertake such a responsible task. A general and very appropriate warning is bieng uttered by press and pulpit to the workers who are making. "big money" during this war period, that they do not waste their substance in riotous living, just because a plenty of coin can be had with comparative ease. Without being alarmists, the cry is being sounded that unusually flush times are invariably followed by commercial depressions, in which wages fall, fortunes are swept away, and hundreds of thousands of previous "good livers" are reduced to beggary and want. While this money is easy, a snug bank account should be accumulated against the dark day when dollars will be scarce and hard to get hold of, and the rent man and the groceryman will exact his full toll from the little that can be earned. Now is the time to save for the "rainy day" that is certain to come. To that small clientele of growlers who have hastened to find fault with the administration because it has seen fit to designate Dr. Robert R. Moton to France to assist in maintaining the morale of the colored soldiers in the various camps, and who say the powers have not considered it necessary to do any preaching to the white soldiers, I commend the general order issued by Secretary Baker a few short weeks ago to the effect that "Armistice is not end of war," and calling upon the men in the army here and abroad to continue discipline with the same punctiliousness that characterized them in the midst of combat and to preserve the morale that made it possible for them to win over the German military machine. The Secretary of War is preaching the same brand of morale and exemplary conduct to white and black alike in the United States Army. Those who tell soldiers of any race to maintain intact the proud record they have made in the world's greatest war are performing a service for which posterity will rise up and call them blessed. THE EMPORIUM Soft Drinks. A Choice Line of Cigars and Tobacco. Candy Meals from 6 a. m. to 2 p. m. Chillie Con Carnie C. GREER, Proprietor 24th and E. Madison East 207 You Are Welcome To Spend Your Leisure Moments at the GREAT NORTHERN POOL AND BILLIARD HALL Cigars, Tobacco and Soft Drinks. Courteous Treatment BOYD & WILLIAMS, Props. 1032 Jackson St. CO STOLEN FROM THIEVES umbretia, ite Was modest and seemed to be nervous, and she finally remarked softly: “Charlie, I'll carry the umbrella if you'll let me.’” “Oh, no. I can earry it.” “Yes, Cahrlie; but you see, your arm takes up so much room that one side of me is out in the wet.”’ “T know, dear, but what will I do with my arm? Won't it be in the way all the same ?”? “T don’t know, Charlie. Tom Clark al- ways knows what to do with his arm when he is under an umbrella with Mary Martin, because Mary told me so.’’ “The man who can meet emergencies, who can rise to the occasion, is the man who will succeed,’? declares Charles M. Schwab, ‘‘like the chap who was one even- ing suddenly confronted by a discontented wife. She said: “ ‘Before we were married you used to bring me flowers every day, but now you never think of getting me even a bunch of violets.’ “<But, my dear,’ he protested, without a second’s hesitation, ‘the pretty flower girls don’t attract me now as much as they used to.’ “And, of course, she told him that on second thought she really didn’t care for flowers.”’ — She sighed. ‘‘I saw the loveliest lace cur- tains!’? she murmured. ‘‘I did want them so badly!’’ She sighed again. ‘‘But I knew you wished to economize, my dear, so I didn’t get them.”’ Then he spoke. ‘‘That’s too bad, dear,’’ he said generously. ‘‘Anything that adds to your happiness and brings gladness to your eye; anythnig that brightens your do- mestic cares and gilds the lowering clouds; anything that borders with flowers the thorny path of duty and appeals to your aesthetic nature, you are welcome to—if it doesn’t cost more than a quarter.’’ Up at the hospital they are having a good laugh at the expense of a certain physician who had sent a patient home as convalescent. Tle instrueted the man’s wife to call him next morning at the hospital and report. In due time she called wp and said: ‘‘He has heen feeling very badly. I do every- thing I can to please him, but nothing seems to satisfy him.”’ “But you wouldn’t say his condition was evitical, would you?’’ demanded the doctor, to which the woman replied: “It’s worse than critical; it’s abusive.”’ They were playing poker in a western town. One of the players was a stranger and was getting a nice trimming. Finally the sucker saw one of the players give him- self three aces from the bottom of the pack. The sucker turned to the man beside him and said: ‘‘Did you see that?” “See what??? asked the man. “Why that fellow dealt himself three aces from the bottom of the deck,’’ said the sucker. “Well, what about it?’’ asked the man. “Tt was his deal, wasn’t it?’’ “Gentlemen,’’ said the sheriff, putting his head into the jury room, ‘‘if there is no chance of your agreeing immediately on a verdict, the judge will step out to lunch.” “Tell his honor he may go to lunch,’’ said the foreman. “T was about to add,’’ continued the sheriff, ‘‘that the cireus comes into town at 2 o'clock. and it’s twenty minutes to two Phone 2647 1034 Jackson Tailors and Cleaners. Clothes called for and delivered. Hats retrimmed and blocked. H. S. Frazier C. W. Curtest Wille came in and offered Andrews a piece of sticky chocolate. Andrews wanted to make a friend of Willie, so he took it and ate it. Willie watched the eating intently and when it was all finished he said: ‘‘Was it all right?”’ “Yes, indeed,’’ replied Andrews. “Very nice, in fact.’’ : ““That’s funny,’ thoughtfully said Willie. “My cat spat it out once and my dog spat it out twice.” An enthusiastic fisherman who was at the same time a stanch teetotaler engaged a Scotchman to take him fishing. Although he had a good stretch of water to fish in, night after night he came back with an empty creel and at last departed in disgust. After he had gone some one asked the boat- man how it was that a fairly expert fisher- man had such a run of ill luck. “‘Aweel,’? was the reply, ‘‘he had nae whuskie, so I took him where there was nae fush!’’ A man reported to his friends that a lec- ture which he had delivered the evening be- fore had proved soothing, rousing and satis- fying to his audience. His skeptical comrades jeeringly demand- ed an explanation in the following terms: “Tt was soothing, for half the folks fell asleep; it was rousing, for the other half got up and went away; and it was satisfy- ing, as they all declared that they wished never to hear that man again.’’ There is a certain long suffering father whose nerves sometimes give way under the constant fire of questions from his talkative 8 year old son. “Dad,’’ asked the youngster, just as the old man had one evening settled down for a perusal of his newspaper. ‘‘Dad, am I made of dust?” “T think not!’’ responded the unhappy parent. ‘‘Otherwise you’d dry up now and then.’’ A man was once relating his adventures in Africa to his comrades: ‘‘There was only one adventure worth speaking of.’’ “And what was that?” “T was once walking through a forest with my rifle on my arm when a lion sprang out of the bushes in front of me. I immedi- ately covered him and pulled the trigger. The only noise I heard was the click. The rifle was empty. I had used my last cart- ridge! Throwing aside my useless weapon, I sprang at the roaring brute. Catching his lower jaw in one hand and his upper jaw with the other, I held him there (his comrades gasp) till he dropped down dead with starvation and—(here the whole of his audience, bag and baggage, fainted).’’ On the range a party of recruits were firing their first course. The sergeant in charge noticed that one of them—a man named Smith—was missing the target every time. At last, quite fed up with the man’s bad firing, the sergeant went across to him and told him to go and shoot himself. The man disappeared. A few seconds later a report was heard from the spot where Smith had gone to. The sergeant hurried to the spot and shouted, ‘‘Are you there, Smith?”’ “Yes, sergeant,’’ same the reply. ‘I’ve missed again!’’ The sergeant-major had the reputation of eae halen ab be lene fav an anew. A the edges of the copper and not in the center ?”’ : “The water around the edge, sir,’’ re- plied the veteran, ‘‘is for the men on guard; they have their breakfast half an hour be- fore the remainder of the company.”’ Little Benjamin, accompanied by his gov- erness, went out for his morning stroll. They passed a street where a load of straw had been scattered in front of a house in which there had been a serious illness. “‘Miss Teachem, why have they scattered all this straw about here?’’ asked Benjamin. ““Well,’’ replied the good lady, ‘‘a little baby came to Mrs. Jones last night.’’ “My goodness,’ exclaimed Benjamin, “but it was well packed !’’ A recruiting officer in Germany deter- mined that no prospective soldier should elude him. One man said he was too old, but the officer replied: ‘‘Von Hindenburg is 72 and he’s in. Get a gun.” Another man with one arm came up to claim exemption and the officer said: ‘‘The kaiser’s in. Get a gun.’’ Finally a woman brought her half witted son, and the officer said: “‘No matter, the crown prince is in. Get a gun.’”’ At a meeting of a board of guardians a member was welcomed back after a long illness. The chairman, in the course of his speech said: “T am sure I express the sentiments of all here when I say that we are glad to have amongst us again Mr. ———. And I hope he will now take care of himself, for we all know that ‘one live ass is better than a dead lion any day.’ ”’ Cheasty’s Good Clothes for Men and Women. You can’t beat it. CHEASTY’S Second and Spring RICHARDSON’S UNDERTAKING PARLORS Embalmer and Funeral Director 1216-18 Jackson Street Office, Beacon 103; Res., Main 5610 IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF ‘Washington for the County of King.—No. 133363. Summons by Publication. J._Abe Fisher, Plaintiff, vs. Fred Therriault, and William Fisher and Eve S. Fisher, his wife, De- fendants. The State of Washington, to the said Fred Ther- riault, Defendant You are hereby summoned to appear within sixty days after the date of the first publication of this summons, to-wit, within sixty days after the ist day of February, A.D. 1919, and defend the above en- titled action'in the above entitled court, and answer the complaint of the plaintiff, and serve a copy of your answer upon the undersigned attorney for plaintiff at his office below stated; and in case of your failure so to do, judgment will be rendered against you according to the demand of the com- plaint, which has been filed with the Clerk of said court.’ The object of the said action and the relief sought to be obtained therein is fully set forth in said complaint, anc is briefly stated as follows: To partition ‘the following described real property: The Hast Forty-five (B. 45) feet of Lots Bighteen (48), Nineteen (19) and Twenty (20) in Block Thir- teen’ (13) of Front Street Cable Addition to the City of Seattle, King County, Washington. ANDREW J. BALLIET, Attorney for Plaintiff. P. 0. Address: 320 Railway Exchange Bldg., Seattle, County of King, Washington. First publication Feb. 1, 1919. IN_THE SUPERIOR COURT OF KING COUNTY, State of Washington.— In the Matter of the Estate of Brick J. Hdlund, De- ceased.—No. 24729. Notice to Creditors. Notice is hereby given that the undersigned has been appointed Executrix of the Estate of Erick J. Edlund, deceased, that all persons naving claims against said deceased are hereby required to serve the same, duly verified, on said Mary M. Edlund, or on Andrew J. Balliet, her attorney of record at the address below stated, and file the same with the Clerk of said court, together with proof of such serv- ice within six months after the date of the first pub- lication of this notice, or the same will be barred. Date of first publication Feb. 8, 1919. MARY M, EDLUND, Executrix of said Hstate. Address: 320 Railway Exchange Bldg., Seattle, Wn. ANDREW J, BALLIET, Attorney for Estate. 320 Railway Exchange Bldg., Seattle, Wash. First publication Feb. 8, 1919.